So Douglas Hegdahl is taken
to the Hanoi Hilton,
a notorious POW camp.
And he thinks, I'm gonna
pretend to be... an idiot.
So Florence Nightingale
gathers together
38 nurses to
take care of these soldiers.
The f*ck are you doing?
His d*ck is out.
And Florence was like,
f*ck you.
His f*cking arm's infected.
Why do I want to kick you?
- I love you.
- I love you, man.
Cheers.
I remember when we first met,
every time I saw you, you would
have a boot on your car.
- Am I wrong?
- You're not wrong.
- You have a...
- I went through 11 cars
in Los Angeles
and 9 of them got booted.
That's not false.
I know...
None of this... this is all true.
- It is a great excuse to not drive.
- Oh, yeah, it's great.
- Hey, do you wanna drive?
- I would love to, but I got two boots.
Hello.
I'm Mark Gagliardi.
And today, we're gonna be
talking about Douglas Hegdahl.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Our story begins in April of 1967.
America is embroiled in
the middle of the Vietnam w*r.
And Douglas Hegdahl
is one of the sailors
on the "USS Canberra,"
which is a destroyer ship that is
going up and down the coast
of North Vietnam.
He's just come off
of his 1:00 a.m. watch shift.
And boom... Douglas Hegdahl
is blown into the waters
of the South China Sea
by the g*n that is on
the deck of the ship
that he is standing on.
So he floats there until
these North Vietnamese fishermen
see him in the water;
they pull him up;
they put him on board;
and they take care of him;
and then, unfortunately,
hand him off immediately to
the North Vietnamese soldiers.
And the North Vietnamese say,
You're a spy!
You never declared w*r on us.
We don't have to abide by the
Gem... Ge...
Geneva Conventions.
You wanna go to the Hanoi Hilton?
'Cause that's where we're going.
- Sounds fancy as hell.
- No-no-no-no-no-no, Derek!
The Hanoi Hilton is not fancy!
That is an ironic name, my friend.
So Douglas Hegdahl is taken
to the Hanoi Hilton,
a notorious POW camp.
Mm.
- Disgusting.
- Look.
- Let's not be real jerks about this.
- Okay.
So Douglas Hegdahl
was pulled into meetings
with The Rabbit,
who was the guy that
was the main interrogator of
this place, a brutal monster.
And The Rabbit was like,
You don't have a story for me?
I've got a story for you.
And he would throw him down
and b*at the Christ out of him.
And so Douglas Hegdahl,
in the course of his beatings,
thinks to himself,
Things are crazy.
I gotta figure something out.
I know. I'll pretend that
I'm a backwards bumpkin
like those guys I grew up with
in Clark, South Dakota.
I'm gonna pretend to be...
an idiot.
And Douglas Hegdahl's like,
Uh, you know what?
I... I agree with you guys.
I... I'm on your team now.
And the North Vietnamese say,
You seem to be a guy who
understands where we're coming from.
Why don't we give you these
propaganda things to say?
And then we won't look like
we're the assholes.
And Douglas Hegdahl says,
Oh, uh, problem is,
I... I don't really
know how to read so good.
So they give him this tutor.
And they try to teach him
how to read and write.
He's pretending to be stupid.
So Doug Hegdahl's like,
Oh, uh, gosh, I need
a new pair of glasses.
So what do they do?
They f*cking take him out
into Hanoi and they're like,
We're gonna take you
to go get new glasses.
And he's like,
Oh, gosh, this is great.
He memorizes the route...
from the Hanoi Hilton into
the city where he's gonna go.
And on his way back,
he's got this
brand-new pair of glasses.
He wanted to learn the
route and he talked these
bozos into getting him
a new pair of glasses.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
So Douglas Hegdahl seemed to be
the dumbest guy
that the North Vietnamese
had ever captured.
In fact, the nickname that
the North Vietnamese Army
gave Douglas Hegdahl was, quote,
"The Incredibly Stupid One."
So at a certain point, the
North Vietnamese were just like,
What are we gonna do
with this idiot?
And they're like,
Oh, we take a nap every couple
hours every afternoon, uh...
Why don't we just let this,
uh, really dumb American
be the guy that walks the grounds
during our dumb afternoon siesta?
So Doug Hegdahl's like,
Yeah, sure, I'll roam around
the camp...
And sabotage your trucks.
Boy, this television show is hard.
I get it.
You guys are
a real bunch of dicks.
You're laughing because
you know that was a bit.
It was a Chris Pratt fall.
♪ Hegdahl, summer in the city ♪
♪ Hegdahl,
summer in the city! ♪
♪ Back of my neck
getting dirty and gritty ♪
All right, so do you
remember where you were?
So Douglas Hegdahl has convinced
the North Vietnamese Army
that he's some sort of
f*cking, uh, country bumpkin.
So they gave him free rein of
the entirety of the Hanoi Hilton.
He decides the best thing
that he can do
is to sabotage
the North Vietnamese.
So Hegdahl puts dirt
in the tanks of the trucks.
And all five trucks
are rendered un-drivable.
And then Doug Hegdahl is like,
I'm going to learn the names
of every single man that is
in this POW camp.
So he memorizes the names
to the tune
of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm."
So he's just kind of
walking around the grounds,
singing to himself.
♪ Old MacDonald had a Dave ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ And that Dave's last name
was MacDonald ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
♪ With a Dave MacDonald here ♪
♪ And a put him on your list
of people who are ♪
♪ Gonna get on the boat
to get out of this ♪
♪ Godforsaken place there ♪
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
So he memorizes 256 names,
every prisoner of this POW camp,
- including John McCain.
- Cheers to McCain.
- To John McCain.
- Yeah.
Now, the North Vietnamese
release three American hostages
every few months.
So Douglas Hegdahl is gonna be
one of the guys that
the North Vietnamese return
back to the United States.
So on August 5, 1969,
Hegdahl is released
in a prisoner exchange.
So when Hegdahl gets back
to the United States,
all of the information
that he's memorized,
he shares with Russell... Crowe.
Mark.
Inappropriate.
All right, so...
Ross Perot, a rich Texas oilman,
who was also a POW advocate.
And Ross Perot said,
Hey, man, I want you to go
to the Paris Peace talks!
And I want you to be
the guy that confronts
the North Vietnamese and says,
No, no, man!
Here's what y'all did!
And Doug Hegdahl was like,
Okay.
So Doug Hegdahl flies to Paris.
The US delegation shows up
and the North Vietnamese
delegation shows up.
And then the US is like,
We got this dude,
Doug Hegdahl,
who was in
one of your POW camps.
And he's like,
Hey, guess what, dickheads.
I was faking it the whole time.
You're breaking
the Geneva Convention.
You're torturing prisoners.
I saw it with mine own eyes.
So the North Vietnamese are like,
Oh, sh*t!
This guy that we called
"The Incredibly Stupid One"
is actually...
Incredibly smart.
So Doug Hegdahl is like,
f*ck, yeah, I am, m*therf*ckers!
Boom! America.
And it's thanks to Doug Hegdahl
who had memorized the names
of all 256 POWs that...
So in 1973, all of these
men were finally released
from the Hanoi Hilton,
thanks to the work
- of Seaman Douglas Hegdahl.
- Cheers. Great job, Mark.
Hi!
You're watching "Drunk History."
Wish I wasn't!
- Why do I get...
- Pissed at me?
- I drink and I get...
- I know.
Like you're my brother or something
and I wanna punch ya.
- That's cool.
- Is it?
- Oh, I mean, no. But I mean, it's...
- Oh.
Cool that you feel
like I'm your brother.
I don't know,
you're just fun to f*ck with.
You know what? Because I know
you can defend yourself
and you can f*ck with me worse
than I can f*ck with you.
- I know, I hold back.
- Because you're clever.
- I know!
- You throw...
- you... you go out sh**ting.
- That's so rude.
- I wait for my final b*mb.
- Aw, sh*t, what does that mean?
- I love you.
- Aww.
That was beautiful.
Hello, my name is Paget Brewster.
And today we will be discussing
Florence Nightingale,
the Mother of Modern Nursing.
Wha... that was perfect!
- Just rolled right off your tongue.
- Did it not?
The muder of mudern nursing.
Did I say
"The mutter of mudern nursing"?
The mudder of muddern nurding.
Hi, I'm Paget Brewster,
and today,
we will be discussing
Florence Nightingale,
The Mutter of Modern Nursing.
Okay, our story begins
in 1830s England,
which is the beginning
of the Victorian Area.
- Oh.
- "Era."
- I've been there.
- Shut... it... up... now.
Okay.
So Florence Nightingale
is the daughter
of a very wealthy affluent family
outside of London.
And Florence is doing
what everyone her age is doing.
She's a teenager
and her mother says,
Oh, this is so great.
You're just gonna study all this stuff.
And then you're gonna marry rich
'cause you're rich,
and you're gonna have kids.
And Florence is like,
Ugh. I don't think I want that at all.
In fact, I like nursing.
I like fixing people and helping people.
And maybe I'm a f*cking
weirdo, I don't f*cking know.
And she started thinking,
Oh, my God.
Maybe God has chosen me
for something greater
than just being a rich...
f*cking lady.
So she tells her parents,
I don't want to run a house.
I just want to be a f*cking nurse.
She wants to be a nurse, but
nursing is not a profession.
And at the age of 24,
she leaves the house
and starts interning at the
Harley Street hospital in London.
And in 1853,
the w*r of Crimea breaks out.
- So...
- Have you ever been in that river?
- Huh?
- "Cry me a" river?
- You never been there?
- Oh, f*ck me. Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Why do I want to kick you?
- I get that.
- I like you!
Anyway.
In 1854, the Secretary of w*r,
Sidney Herbert writes a letter
to Florence Nightingale saying,
Florence, uh, you're a great nurse.
I've heard about your work
at the... at the something hospital
- I already forgot the f*cking name of.
- Is that Harley?
Harley Street hospital.
That's right.
I need you to go get
a team of nurses together
and go and help out
our m*llitary doctors.
So Florence was like,
Yep, I'm f*cking on board.
So Florence gathers together
38 nurses.
And they go to the
Scutari Barracks Hospital
in Constantinople,
which is a piece of sh*t!
It was rats and lice.
It's not even a hospital;
it's a barracks.
So they show up,
and the male doctors,
they flip the f*ck out.
They're like,
f*ck these broads.
We don't need any chicks here.
God damn it.
This sucks.
- Would you like me to help you?
- Yes, please, Derek.
You broke it!
That's pretty manly.
Thank you.
Gi... Don't you...
Give me my f*cking booze, bitch!
All right, you're
f*cking in for it now.
So the doctor's pissed off,
and Florence is like,
Yeah-yeah-yeah, I get that.
It's never happened
before in history,
but I'm here now,
my ladies are here now.
Florence and her nurses are
shocked at the conditions,
but they believe in Florence,
and they're like,
All right.
We're gonna do whatever she says.
Let's go.
Let's clean this up.
Two days later,
thousands of soldiers injured
from the Battle of Inkerman
are brought into
the barracks hospital.
This was 3,000 soldiers
laying on straw pallets.
They are covered in
their own excrement.
They are bleeding.
So the doctors are like,
Oh, sh*t.
f*ck it, we need your help.
She ends up being known as
the lady with the lamp,
because it was this British woman
there in Crimea,
holding a lamp and visiting soldiers.
But one night, while she
was changing the dressing
of a man who had had
an arm amputation,
an army doctor walked in.
- And the man was naked.
- But why?
Because they had no resources.
And the doctor said to Florence,
The f*ck are you doing?
His d*ck is out.
And Florence was like,
f*ck you. His f*cking arm's infected.
Holding for plane.
Oh, my God,
we're holding for a plane.
- Don't kick me.
- I have a twitch.
I am not a fan of this.
I thought you were a gentleman.
Florence Nightingale.
I thought you liked...
Oh, I'm a fan of Florence
Nightingale, not you!
You ready?
Shut up!
I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!
Bring your nuts closer
so I can kick the...
'cause I'm tired.
So all of these soldiers are amazed
this lady with a lamp
was protecting them.
And the soldiers were
saying to each other,
This is the only person
that's cared about us.
And Florence and
her nurses have done
everything they can do.
Unfortunately, in the four months
that they are first there,
4,777 soldiers die.
And Florence says,
I'm so f*cking angry.
I'm so angry we lost so many men.
And I need to find out why we failed.
So the Crimean w*r ends in 1856.
And Florence gets back to England.
And she is awarded a $250,000
w*r fund dispensation gift
from Queen Victoria.
But Queen Victoria says,
What happened in Crimea?
And Florence says,
I don't f*cking know.
It was bad.
And I think I noticed a trend.
And I'm gonna have to
f*cking think about this.
She is also really sick.
She has the Crimean flu.
- I mean, bad, coughing, sputum.
- What's sputum?
Sputum's an old term for mucus.
- Too much informashe.
- "Informashe"?
- I will not accept that from you.
- Crimea river.
Shut up. f*ck you. I'm drunk.
- Okay, you ready?
- Yes.
And it should start with me
speaking to the camera
full of rage, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Like, rage and regret.
- Yeah, like chugging that.
- Like "chugganaut"?
Like chugging that.
- Oh, chugging this?
- Mm-hmm.
'Cause that's what I do
- every year, I chug...
- Yeah.
You know what,
I am gonna chug it.
Okay.
You remember where you were?
- Yes.
- You do. Okay.
Okay, so...
Florence goes back to England
and just goes to her bed.
She's so ill that she
stays in bed for 11 years.
- What?
- And it... yes.
In those 11 years,
she starts studying all of
her notes from Constantinople.
And she's like, I know
something was wrong here.
And she's building graphs.
And she starts seeing a pattern.
And she's like, I think
I figured out what happened.
The men at the Scutari Hospital
were ten times more likely to die
from an infectious disease
than from a w*r wound.
That's why we failed.
It was hygiene.
And she was like,
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
So she presents all of this
analytical data to Queen Victoria.
And in 1859, she wrote a book
called "Notes on Nursing."
Years go by,
and Florence uses the money
that Queen Victoria gave her
to found the Nightingale
School of Nursing,
which is the first nursing school
in the history of ever?
Nursing didn't exist
until Florence Nightingale.
Also, when Florence
Nightingale is 87 years old,
she received the Order of Merit
from Queen Victoria,
who still is kicking,
and is like,
This f*cking Florence is great!
She fixed a bunch of sh*t.
I like her moxie.
This was the first time
a woman was ever awarded
the Order of Merit.
And that's a big f*cking deal.
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I burped.
- I know. That looked aggressive.
- It was not an aggressive burp.
- I mean, aggressive as in, like,
I wanna make sure
you're not gonna throw up.
- Okay?
- You know I wouldn't, I'm a lady.
- Oh. Curtsy.
- "C... Curtsy."
Okay, you ready?
So Florence Nightingale
was responsible
for pioneering an industry
and giving women a job
and a purpose
that they weren't allowed
at that time.
So what she did
was really extraordinary.
And it's amazing.
159 years later,
her book is still used
in hospitals today.
My math is not good.
It might be 170-something.
- Remember, it's 2019.
- Okay, I don't like math.
I want you to do it.
Not because you're a man.
- Well, kind of.
- Uh...
06x15 - S.O.S.
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"Drunk History" is presented by an inebriated narrator struggling to recount events from American history, while A-list talent perform historical reenactments.
"Drunk History" is presented by an inebriated narrator struggling to recount events from American history, while A-list talent perform historical reenactments.