03x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

This him is it?

This is your new lodger

He'll have to work mind

Dear Patrick,
my name is Rosemary

I am the editor of
Vintage Bear Enthusiast

Don't you show your face around here
without a f*cking Grand

Get back into witness pro

And this time
you will be co-operating fully

I'd like to request that Rhona and I

Live separately from now on

If we go our separate ways
that will be it

Here you are lads, he's come home!

Hello

If you are watching this video

You've just received
the powerful news

That you will be living in
witness protection

Long term

Look

I'm not going to patronize you

That's tough,
but there is a siver lining

Or should I say,
Platinum lining

Because you've just qualified

For Witpro platinum level

So, what are the benefits

Well, for a start, , metro points
loaded on to your card - today

These Cafe Nero cards are all stamped up,
and there must be - of them in here

A reconditioned iphone S,
with no more than one previous owner

Orange Wednesday,
didn't they stop doing them?

Not for you

Subs; peterfromspain

Get your thumb out your ass, it's time to work

Da, why's he wearin a top?

Why are you wearin yer top?

Yer a man aintya?

Now, I'm really excited for you folks to see this one

As you can see, there's lots of light,
lots of space

Now, erm, who's the cook?

So, Casa mama's Jerk Burger
Pizza deluxe calzone

So if I can just get your autograph
there and there

sticky finger ribs...

Congrats guys

Come on!

And three bottomless pepsies

I wanna feck you

I wanna feck you in the night

I wanna feck you under the covers

There she is, the superstar

Have you seen it?

And that is every branch in the southwest,
not just ours

My god!

My chin looks so fat

Ama, does my chin look fat?

You look gorgeous

right, come on, lunch,
we're celebrating

Put Archie in his cage
and give him a dental stick

I want to try that new place next to
Tiles, Tiles, Tiles

Come on in

's I believe

's I'd say

The full pageant suede in the late fities

Collecter?

No, no I'm not

And of course,
it's not plumbed in is it?

It's only a blummin show house

So I called Gary

Now don't laugh, Gary

Hi guys, I just want to tell you about our,
erm

About our, erm, specials

We've got erm,

Bread

And erm,

Screaming hot fingers?

Just reading off the board

Not trying to do your job or anything

Whatever yor name is

Imogen

Imogen? you choose that yourself?

Er, no

My parents did

I'll just , give you a minute and
come back for your order

ooh, I could eat another one of them,
honestly

If we weren't going back to work!

I'm disgusting!

Hi, sorry, I've just got your bill,
whenever you're ready

Flying ants, the f*cking bastards
are everywhere upstairs

Have a listen to this one

Right, say you open a brewery,
that one partner so happens to own

You pay for beer that he never gives you

Make a couple of grand disappear every week,
easy

Not bad, not bad, see I told yer,
f*cking smart this one

That college's loss is our f*cking gain

Well, f*ck me

Look who it is

Long time no see

Hope you aren't coming here fuckin empty handed son

Not on flying ants day

I'm in a bad enough mood as it is

Where the f*ck
do you think you're going?

, ,

Nah, I counted it a few times and there was
a thousand pound there

Give me ten minutes

And I'll be back here with pounds

f*cking sick of that twat

See if there's any f*cking decent bread in the place

A bit of toast wouldn't go amiss

The f*cking bastard

Frank!

Come on Paddy, let's get him moved

Put him on there,
come on then

Wait!, wait a moment

Ready?

Get his arse in there

I've got my arms stuck

Stop, stop!

Lean forwards so I can get my
f*cking arms out

Now let's get his legs in,
ready?

Er, thanks

Hey!

Hi!

Thanks

For coming back

My shift finishes and I

Do you want to?

Yeah

Well, I'll just

I'm really sorry again

You know, about

It's forgotten

I think I probably over-reacted a little bit

I've missed you

I've missed you too

Stop it!

You're going to start me off!

I've been such a bitch

I've been a bitch

Can we be friends again?

It's just, it's so hard you know!

So hard

Here, blow your nose on this

We'll be closing here in a minute

Do you want to come back to mine?

I've got a juicer

Yeah

Mr. Slick what's your real name?

Adrian

Adrian

Like a film star

What's it like in the city?

I expect you're always brawling
in the night clubs

Have you ever met Kanye West?

I've like a dream

It's nothing

One day, I want to get a bus

And go to Claire's accessories

Go to Claires accessories
and try everything on

Heard you k*lled a man

You're an outlaw too

Wow!

Is this your flat?

Yeah

They gave you this flat?

Good god no!

Shoes

You're not still living in the flat they gave you
are you?

Yeah

I'm really lucky you see cos
I work in Lettings

So I get to see the good stuff as
it comes in

I could help you out actually

What's your budget?

Oh my god!,
there's this office dog

Archie, it's a french bulldog

It belongs to the office so

Some times I take him home,
sometimes Trish does

We got him different jumpers every day

Look at his little face!

Yeah, that is so great

I'm really happy for you

Thanks, and you

You've got lovely hair

I can't take any more

I'm sorry I didn't want to get all

We are never going home,
are we?

Well, you know

The police are trying to catch Whealan
aren't they

Yeah, and have been for about years

And even if they do catch him,
what then?

He'll just be running the show
from the inside

Well there's not much we can do

There's no point crying about it
is there?

There is something we can do,
there is

I've been thinking about it

We have to get rid of Whealan

For good

We need to k*ll him

I'm sorry

I'm no lawyer but I'm pretty sure
that's way illegal

Well, what choice do we have?

Rhona

If you'd asked me a year ago
did I want to live in witness protection

Seven times out of ten I would have said

No, of course not

But, I'm making the best of it

Bad stuff happens

It's how you react to it that counts

I'll give you a lift home

Dear Patrick, you are a goodhearted young man

Dear Rosemary

Sorry for the slow reply

Many thanks for your kind words

You might get a kick out of this

I was passing an antique shop

When I saw a 's Merrythought
in near mint condition

Dear Patrick

Lovely to hear from you

Such a knowledgeable young man

Come' ere

There's something I want to show you

Come on, I won't bite yer

Close the door

This is me bra

It was mammy's before she left

Nice

And when you've finished in that top field
I want

Jesus, Mary and the holy St. Joseph!

You dirty little bastard!

Thomas get in here
and get a hold of this prick

Keep him away from her

You'll be married on Sunday

You'll be married on Sunday

f*ck me

That one of the fuckin?

Stupid f*ckers

Shall we vacate to my office and plot

An appropriate course of fuckin action?

I'm out boys

You win again

Trish, come and have a look at this

Just watch that video

Keep watching

And look at the kittens face

Ama, have you seen this?

Do you fancy a coff Trish,
I'm doing one for myself

No ta, I've already had as many
as I can manage today

Oh Archie

Hello sir, how can I help?

Was it sales or lettings you wanted?

Trish!

Oh my God, thank god you're ok!

Come in

It was on TV, I thought it was you,
a woman's been sh*t

Oh my God!, that's Trish, that's Trish

It's ok, she's ok, they said that she's awake

And talking in hospital

It was horrible, it was so close

It's ok, you're safe now

They were trying to k*ll me Rhona

I know, it's ok, you're safe now

Yeah

All right?

I did manage to get the bastard
in the head

With a coffee machine though

Ok, have a seat,
I'll make you a Ribena

Make it hot

I just hope Trish is ok

I cant even go see her can I?

I can't go back to the office

The flat

I love that flat!

That's it innit

Lianne

This is what I meant

We can never build lives in here

The only alternative is if Whealan is

Gone

Rhona, no!

We can't

We're not

K*llers

Oh, look this is it

Oh God! that's my office

Turn it up, turn it up!

Oh, yeah, sorry,
I forgot about that

A dog got sh*t

Right

I want Whealan's shitty bloody head

On a f*cking spike!

We get g*ns

I don't know where

The NLL?

And go into that pub,
open fire

And I'll be like;
this is for Archie

Alright Clive Owen
sit down

Look,
I've been thinking about this

A lot

Even if we could k*ll Whealan

We would almost certainly
face retaliation

From one of his lackeys afterwards

Not to mention the whole matter
of life imprisonment

Then, what?

What if
somebody else k*lled him?

What if we could maybe

Make that happen

But who?

There's another g*ng

Think about it Lianne

The guy in the ice-cream van

The one we saw get sh*t

There's another g*ng