02x11 - Kim of Kong

[bunniefuu]

Jerry and I are making fifty
bucks to babysit Lonnie's lizard,

while he's on vacation.

Why does he have that
pained look on his face?

Oh. We're both a little gassy from
that chili-cheese dog we split.

I think I know what he needs though.

Come here, boy.

Let it out. Let it out.

[Belches] [Passes gas]

Two g*n salute, nice.

Only one of those g*ns was his.

Uh... what are you guys doing?

- Petting my gassy lizard.
- That sounds about right.

All right, Kim. It's Wednesday.

Time to get our spar on.

Uh, Milton, I...

We need to...

Talk.

I don't think we should
spar with each other anymore.

Is it something I did?

No, no, no! Milton, you're
great. It's... it's not you.

- It's me.
- It's someone else.

Isn't it?

Please don't tell me
you sparred with him?

Here? On our mats?

I've been such a fool!

[Grunts]

Just down at the arcade.
What was I doing there?

Only becoming the number one
Immortal Slayer player in the world.

Wow. Spending thousands of hours with
nerds in the dark really paid off.

Sure did. I won a really
cool glow-in-the-dark T-shirt.

Oh, man. This thing is awesome.

[Sighs] Look, Jack. I'm
tired of sparring with Milton.

I mean, you're the only
other black belt in this dojo.

I want to be challenged.

Really? I... I don't
think that's a great idea.

Come on, Jack.

Okay.

Jerry: Whoa. Wait,
you guys are sparring?

Does Milton know about this?

Yes. Yes, he does.

[Sobs]

[Rock music playing]

- ♪ Don't...
- ♪Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

♪That's just how we do.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.

♪Here we go, let's start the party!

♪Chop it up like it's karate.

♪Everybody!

- ♪Don't...
- ♪ Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪ Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

♪That's just how we do.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.

Finally some sparing
between real karate students.

Instead of a bunch of confused gazelles
blindly flailing around in their pajamas.

No offense.

- Oh, it's cool.
- None taken.

I love gazelles.

And remember, Jack, give
me everything you've got.

Kim, are you sure you want to do this?

Okay.

[Grunting]

Oh! [Chuckling]

She just flipped you like a pancake.

I gotta go upload this.

It's gonna get more hits
than "fat baby farts".

Yes!

♪I took you down.

♪Down to the ground.

I gotta hand it to you, Kim. You got
the better of me. Congratulations.

Enjoy what you've got, Jack.

It's only a matter of time before
she tosses you out like an old sock.

Wow, Jack.

I didn't see that coming.

Sometimes you gotta
expect the unexpected.

[Clicks tongue]

Wha...?

Wha...?

Jack just winked. That
means he let Kim win.

Forget Jack.

This lizard's clamped down
on my belly button, man!

Get it off! Get it off!

[Whimpers]

- Oh.
- Is it okay?

My innie's now an outie.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you!

Yo, Rudy. Come check out the iguana.

Oh, no. I'm not gonna
fall for that one again.

Oh. You actually have
an iguana this time.

Cool.

Oh, what's all this?

Ah, just getting rid of a bunch of
junk from down in my storage unit.

Ooh, this is pretty cool.

Oh, wow. I didn't even
know that was in there.

That's my old Red Zephyr steam engine.

When I was six, that train was
like my best friend. [Chuckles]

Uh, don't get me wrong.
I had people friends, too.

- What does it do?
- Well, come on. I'll show you.

So...

I guess there's no
longer any question about

who the number one black
belt is in this dojo.

I took him down.

Boom goes the dynamite!
Boom! I said, boom.

We get it, Kim. That's
the sound dynamite makes.

Yeah, yeah.

[High-pitched] You're number one.

What was that?

What?

When your voice goes up high like
that it means you're hiding something.

Everybody does it.

Don't they, Eddie?

[High-pitched] Why are
you dragging me into this?

Jerry, what's going on?

Uh...

[Yelps]

All right, all right, all right.

Jack threw the match.

He winked at us like
this. [Clicks tongue]

Which is guy talk for "I let her win".

Really? Well...

Wait till I get my hands
on that little winker.

Where is he?

[High-pitched] I don't
know. Really, Jerry? Really?

He's at the arcade.

[Exhales]

That was a close one, man. She
almost got something out of me.

Jerry: Whew!

[Train bell ringing]

Boy, this really takes me back.

It's amazing isn't it?

Well, it's just going in circles.

Maybe if we had some more track,
the train could go through a...

I don't know, a kind of town?

What town?

Maybe a little town
called "Miltonville".

Tell me more about this...

Rudyville.

Well, it's the kind of place where
everyone knows each other's names.

And no one locks their doors at night.

Yes, yes, go on.

The men at Rudyville
are the kind of men who

look you in the eye when
you shake their hand.

And they all smell
like brand-new haircuts.

Oh, now I see it.

And they all work in a
factory up on the ridge.

And it's a fine factory.

And you know what they make
in that factory, Milton?

Wicker furniture!

No.

Dreams.

And how do those clean-cut Joes
get to and from the factory?

Both: The train!

[Crowd chanting] Thrasher! Thrasher!

Thrasher! Thrasher!

Thrasher! Thrasher!

Thrasher! Thrasher! Thrasher! Thrasher!

Joan: Kim! Surprised to see you here.

You'd better watch your back. This
video arcade is where nerds go off.

Um, they look pretty harmless to me.

Oh. Little known fact.

A nerd has three times the
strength of your average dork.

I was in here last year when
the change machine jammed.

Good thing I had my nerd riot gear.

Spritz bottle with water,
that's all it takes.

[Laughing]

Nerds.

Male voice: Congratulations, Thrasher.

You are immortal.

[Crowd cheering]

Hey, Kim. Did you see that?

That's why they call me "Thrasher".

Oh, pretty impressive.

Hey, quick question for ya, Thrasher.

When we sparred this
morning, did you let me win?

[High-pitched] What?

I knew it. I can't believe you didn't
have enough respect to fight me for real.

Why did you hold back?

Well, you know... I'm a...

And you're...

Oh, wow. A girl?

Well...

Thrasher, get on up here.

The owner of the game
company needs me. Gotta go.

How about a hand for Thrasher everybody?

[Crowd cheering]

I'm excited to announce the first
ever live Immortal Slayer death match,

between the top two
players in the country.

This Saturday night, right
here in Thrasher's home arcade.

- [Crowd cheering]
- Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah!

And the winner's avatar will be featured
on the cover of next year's home version.

Huh? [Crowd cheering]

[Crowd chanting] Thrasher! Thrasher!

All right, that's it, nerds.
I'm going from spritz to stream.

[All screaming]

Who's the little cutie?

You are. Yes, you are.

Now, open wide.

Here comes the airplane.

[Imitates train]

[Imitates train whistle]

[Belches]

Oh.

That's it, you scaly little monster.

One more time and I'll drag you behind
the dumpster and feed you to the rats.

How dare you!

Oh. [Chuckles] I'm so sorry.
I thought that was a baby.

I love lizards.

Oh, me too.

Yeah, I love this little guy.

And I'm a very protective parent.

In fact, I never take
my eyes off of him.

You know, I was just
about to order some food.

Would you care for some baba ghanoush?

Hey, Nathan. What did you
want to talk to me about?

Your match against
the number one player.

What? I thought I was
the number one player.

Oh, you were... four days ago.

But that was before the
Skull-Ripper showed up.

[Crowd chanting] Skull-Ripper!
Skull-Ripper! Skull-Ripper!

Skull-Ripper!
Skull-Ripper! Skull-Ripper!

[Crowd chanting] Finish him! Finish him!

Finish him!

Male voice: Congratulations,
Skull-Ripper.

You are immortal.

[Crowd cheering]

- Woo!
- Kim?

Oh. Hi, Jack.

[Clicks tongue]

She kicked that alien
right in his snot box.

That's my kind of woman.

I know what this is about.

It's about me letting
you win when we sparred.

That's exactly what it's about.

I mean, I wanted a fair fight from you and
this is the only way that I could get it.

Kim.

Death match is gonna be shown online.

You're gonna embarrass yourself
in front of a whole lot of people.

Sounds like you're scared.

Okay, you know what? You want a real
fight with me where I don't hold back?

- Well, you're gonna get it.
- Good. Because that's what I want.

- Fine!
- Fine!

- I forgot my books.
- Me too.

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you!

He's gotta be around here.

Where would you go if you were a lizard?

Well, I'd go to a pool party
where lady lizards in bikinis

were walking around
serving fly-kabobs... duh.

You're useless.

To capture the lizard, I'm gonna
have to think like a lizard.

Well, you're not the
only one who can do that.

Yo. What it do, girl?

Just getting my lizard on.

Fly!

It is absolutely perfect!

Eh. Hmm.

What was that?

I shouldn't mention it.

It's nitpicky.

Pick your nit.

Well, that drainage ditch could turn
into a breeding ground for mosquitoes.

You're right.

And it's so close to the school.

All the kids are gonna
get mosquito bites.

And the next thing you know
there's a huge run on itch cream,

people panic, there's
rioting in the streets,

and we can't have
rioting in Rudyville...

Our Police Department is on back order!

Rudy, check it out. "Display World
Magazine" is having a contest.

They're giving away , bucks
for the most original train display.

, bucks? You think we could win?

If we made some changes.

What kind of changes?

Well, our farm has no fence, so pigs
are just wandering into the bank.

And our Mayor is a corn
doodler with a mustache.

Wait. This was our Mayor?

We're gonna have to hold a new election.

Jack, why don't you tell
everybody what your strategy is?

I'm going to use my agility and
arsenal of counter-attacking spin kicks,

to take my opponent down.

I'm just gonna rip his skull off
and soccer-kick it off the roof.

- What? You want to do this right now?
- I really want to do this.

[Overlapping arguing]

- You know what?
- All right, all right, all right.

I'll be the number one black
belt in the dojo, brother!

- You're going down!
- Kim: Boom!

Listen, Jack, I want to
talk to you about the fight.

How would you, feel about...

Losing?

What?

Girls don't play Immortal Slayer.

But with someone like Kim
on the cover, they will.

I need her to win.

[Stammering]

Wait, so you're asking
me to throw the fight?

Go out there and make it look good
for the first few minutes, and then...

Take a dive.

If you do that, we'll build a
whole new game around your avatar.

Think about it Jack, the
Thrasher will really...

Be immortal.

It is done, and it is perfect!

And just in time, too. The Judge
for "Display World Magazine",

is gonna be here any minute.

Do you think we spent too much?

Wha... to win big,
you need to think big.

Besides, once we win the ,
bucks, we're only gonna be out $ , .

That's just good business.

Hi, I'm Mr. Gordon from
"Display World Magazine".

You, Sir, are about to behold what some
are calling the eighth wonder of the world.

And by some, I mean me and the boy.

I would ask you to not just view
our display, but to take a journey!

It's gotta be a quick journey. I've
got six minutes left on the meter.

Ooh.

[Trains whistling]

Please pay attention to the painstaking
detail we put into our display.

That dog poop in the park looks real...

Because it is!

♪Kickin' it with you!

Welcome to the ultimate death match.

Two will enter the death chamber.

But only one will survive
the violent m*ssacre.

Sponsored by Fluffy Cow Fro-Yo.
It's time to moo-ve over, ice cream.

Let the annihilation begin!

[Crowd cheering]

Male voice: Three, two, one.

Fight!

Isn't this motion capture
technology awesome?

Pipe down there, Einstein.
This stuff is so fake.

Holy Hannah! I know
that girl on the roof!

She's not on the roof. It's a game.

Kim! Stay where you are.

I will find a way to save you.

Jerry? What are you supposed to be?

Well, I was thinking like a lizard.

If he believes I'm his mother,
he'll come to me for safety.

I even have a lizard call. Check it.

[Roars]

That is the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.

You look ridiculous.

I look ridiculous? You look
like a bathmat with wings.

I'm a moth.

It's the lizard's favorite food.

He'll see me, get hungry,
then come out to eat me.

No one's gonna want to eat you.

Hello. I look delicious.

Get out of here.

Okay, I gotta find that lizard and
make sure I get my half of the $ .

You're not getting a single cent
of that money, you lizard loser.

Oh-ho-ho. That's it.

I'm having wings for dinner.

Oh, let's go.

[Both grunting]

In my years on the job I have
never seen a display that is more...

Boring and cliched.

Seriously, am I being punked?

[Door opens]

[Grunting]

[Godzilla roar]

Both: No!

Both: No!

Yes!

Yes!

[Whistles]

[Screaming]

[Screams]

[Roars]

Bravo! Bravo!

You lured me in with your pathetic display,
but then, enter Godzilla and Mothra.

And you reminded me why I became
a miniature train display critic...

- In the first place.
- Oh, yeah.

Congratulations.

Let's go. We got $ ,
to rebuild our town.

Maybe this time we can
call it Miltonville.

Rudyville it is!

[Groans]

[Sighs]

Eddie!

Eddie, look what's
peeking out of the tunnel.

Jerry: My idea worked.
He thinks I'm his mother.

No. He thinks I'm his breakfast.

- Mother.
- Breakfast.

- Mother!
- Breakfast!

That's it!

[Yelling]

Kim's voice: All I
wanted was a fair fight.

You probably shouldn't have done that.

He perfectly blocked her move!

And is using the energy from her
death strike to enhance his life power!

Oh, Joan's getting overheated!

Spritz me, nerd!

Yes!

Male voice: Thrasher, you
are the ultimate champion!

[Crowd cheering]

All: [Chanting] Thrasher! Thrasher...

I thought we had an agreement, Jack.

You blew it. We were going to build an
entire game franchise around the Thrasher.

I was never gonna throw the fight.

Some things are just more
important than a dumb video game.

[Whimpers]

I don't believe it.

He wanted you to throw the fight?

Yeah. But, uh. I wasn't
gonna make that mistake again.

Well, congratulations. I mean...

It's not every day a girl gets to see
her guts splattered into a million pieces.

So, you're okay that I b*at you?

You gave me your best sh*t
and that's all I ever wanted.

Joan, what are you doing up there?

I'm showing you punks you don't want
to mess with the Mall Cop Mauler.

You can't handle this.

[Yelling]

Whoa!

You know you have to
put a dollar in, right?

Oh. Forget that.

♪Kickin' it with you!

Okay Jack...

Now that we're gonna spar for
real, let's see what you got.

All right, but I really
don't want to hurt you, okay?

Why? I'm okay with hurting you.

- [Yelling]
- ♪ Kickin' it with you!