02x07 - Election

[bunniefuu]

I don't know what I
should have for lunch.

What are you having?

Meat loaf and apple pie.

Which one's which?

I have no idea.

Well, I see we got the same lunch.

Macaroni and cheese
and chicken soup.

That's macaroni and cheese?

I thought it was a cookie.

The food here stinks.

No wonder the daily special's
the heimlich maneuver.

Someone should do
something about it.

Attention, students.
Just a reminder

Just a reminder that school
elections are in weeks.

So, show your spirit.
Run for something.

Also, to the person
who stole my pants,

Could you please return them?

No questions asked.

That's what I'm gonna do.

You're going to return
that guy's pants?

No. I'm going to run
for school president.

So I can make a difference.

Starting with this meat loaf.

That's not meat loaf.
That's a brownie.

I'm going to the school
office to sign up.

Hey, do me a favor.

While you're there,

Would you return that guy's pants?

Here I am in your life

Here you are in mine

Yes, we have a suite life

Most of the time

You and me,
we got the world to see

So come on down

Just me and you know what to do

So come on down

It's you and me and me and you

We got the whole
place to ourselves

You and me, we got it all for free

So come on down

This is the suite life

We've got a suite life

The Suite Life of Zack &
Cody S E Election

Guess what, mom.

This will soon be the
presidential suite.

Is Moseby kicking us out?

No. I'm going to run
for school president.

That's wonderful news.

Eh.

I am very proud of you,

And I'm rooting for you to win.

Zack, maybe you should
run for something.

Like treasurer. You like money.

Who wants to go

To boring student
council meetings?

Even if one of those
boring meetings

Is in...hawaii?

Hawaii?

That's right.

It's turn out this
year's convention

Of middle school
presidents is on Maui.

- Wowee.
- Wowee.

Mom, I've just decided to
run for school president.

Well, this should go smoothly.

You can't be the
president of the school.

You don't even know where it is.

Do so.

It's the last stop on the bus.

And when I get off that bus,

I'm gonna kick your
butt in the election.

Will not.

You're all flash.

You're no substance.

People will see right through you.

Right, mom?

Mom's on my side now.

Right, mommy?

I'm on both your sides.

Hey, that's a cop out.

Yes, it is. Have some cake.

Ok, here we go.

Now the elevator will
run more efficiently.

Why the sudden
interest in efficiency?

Well, it's not because
Irv Weldon made the cover

Of hotel engineering quarterly,
I can tell you that.

The most efficient man
in the hotel business.

I'm gonna soup this baby up

So it goes percent faster.

I'm not sure that's
such a good idea.

Arwin?

Heads up.

Oh, great.

I knocked the lights out.

Oh, they're on.

Maddie, I need your help.

I'm running for school president.

Congratulations.
What's your platform?

Vote for Zack.

That's your slogan.

Your platform covers the issues

That matter to you.

What do you care about?

I care about people
who vote for Zack.

I, on the other hand, am running

Because I actually
care about the school.

Zack's only goal
is to go to hawaii.

No. That's my main goal.

My other goal is to
impress the babes

With my power.

A campaign should be
centered around ideas.

That's how you get votes.

No, it isn't.

You get votes the same
way you get shoes.

You buy them.

Not true.

People want a candidate

Who best reflects their views.

And who will put those
views in action.

Oh, Maddie...

Dear, sweet, nave, Maddie.

That's naive.

You bet it is.

I like what I'm
hearing here, London.

I should've gone
to you for advice.

About politics?

Please, she thinks debate

Is what you use to catch
"Da fish."

Oh, yeah?

You want my help and my cash,

You got it.

Well, how about I help
you with your campaign?

We'll prove that people
care about the issues.

Well, we'll prove the only
thing people care about

Is a winning smile and great hair.

Both of which I have.

I have your hair and your smile.

Yeah. But on me, it works.

Come on, Cody.
Let's talk strategy.

Come on, Zack. Let's talk outfits.

Vote for Cody.

Here you go, Bob.

What's this?

It's my platform.

The list of things I
want to do as president.

Oh, do I have to read it?

Well, you do if you

Want to be an informed voter.

The least you could do is recycle.

That's number three.

Watch it, watch it.

Cody, move it.

What is this?

It's a poster of our
future president.

I thought you were voting for me.

Oh, I was, but Zack promised

I could be an ambassador.

To where?

Who cares. I get a jacket.

What other stupid
promises is he making?

Whoo, ice cream.

Ok. Now he's gone too far.

Zack Zack, he loves his peops

Cody just puts you to sleep

Go, Zack!

A vote for Zack martin

Is a vote for happiness.

Now you're promising happiness

Hey, hey, hey.

Get your own campaign vehicle.

Nice to meet you.

Who wouldn't be happy

With free ice cream
and a skate park?

Yeah.

Skate park?

We should be putting school money

Towards important things

Like funding for science
and art supplies.

I'm all for helping
out with the arts.

Whoa...

Super models!

Vote for me,

And there'll be a super model

In every art class.

Male ones, too.

I plan to introduce legislation

To give students
an extra minutes

To get to and from classes.

That's cute, Cody.

Ooh, are you voting for me?

No. Zack promised when
he's elected president,

He's going to make me his queen.

Hey.

Yeah?

Ambassador? Queen?

Who's going to be
your court jester?

Back out now

And the job is yours, clown boy.

Nice to meet you.

Hope you guys vote for me.

Mr. Moseby.

I know the elevator thing

Didn't go as well as we'd hoped.

Or I'd hoped.

If there's ever an
elevator olympics,

We're sure to win the gold.

Let me make it up to you

With my new hour bellhop.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah.

Come to papa.

Huh?

Huh? This will increase
efficiency by . percent.

And how did you
arrive at that figure?

I made it up.

Now allow me to demonstrate.

No. Please don't.

You put the luggage on the cart,

We flip this switch,

And voila.

And back.

Arwin, it works.

Yes.

It does.

And it can go faster.

Please don't make it go faster.

Too late.

Ha ha. There she goes.

And then...

I bring it to a gentle stop.

Arwin, it's not stopping.

Or not. It's just
it's got a little...

Arwin, it's moving.

Arwin, it's coming around!

It's jammed, it's jammed.

When I stop it, I get a turn, ok?

Oh, I'm gonna have to
use the manual brake.

Oh, no!

It's got a mind of its own!

That's more than I
can say for you.

That hurts.

Mr. Moseby.

What?

I'm king of the world!

Oh, but we're not
allowed to play in here.

So how did it all go today?

Not bad.

I got the entire science
club to vote for me.

Ha! My guy's got the entire

Science club voting for him.

Tell her how many
votes that is, Cody.

Four.

Your guy is going down!

Says you.

This stinks.

I'm offering good ideas,

But Zack's promising ice cream,
super models,

And skate parks.

I don't even want to
vote for me anymore.

You can't give up.

I am sick of London

Buying everything she wants.

We're going to show her

That our precious
democratic process

Is not for sale!

How?

We're going to steal it.

With dirty tricks.

But doesn't that go against

Everything you believe in?

Yes.

But in this case,

The end justifies the means.

Just promise me no
one will get hurt.

I can't make that promise.

Oddly, I'm ok with that.

Vote for Zack,
get a free Tipton pen.

Here you go.

There's plenty more
where these came from.

Is there a special
pen for the queen?

Sure, it's...

This one.

I'll only use it to
write royal decrees.

Of love.

Great.

There's some royal paper...

Way down there.

I see my people still adore me.

Well, you do make them laugh.

What do you mean?

"A vote for Zack

Is a vote for a doofus?"

Cody.

You backstabbing, lowlife jerk!

You better be talking to him.

I am.

Well, don't talk to him like that.

He deserves it.

He ruined all my posters.

Cody, that was wrong.

Well, Zack's trying
to buy the election.

That's wrong, too.

Yeah, you no good cheater!

- Loser!
- Whimp!

- Crybaby!
- Doof!

And I thought this election

Would come between you.

You're just jealous
because I'm winning.

That's what you think.

Did you see those people
laughing in the hall?

Who, your geek friends?

All you proved is
that you're childish,

And I look great in a mustache.

You'd look better with
a bag over your head.

Well, I guess I'll
be eating alone.

Hey, Carey.

Ok.

Don't be alarmed.

I'm just here to
clean your windows.

See how efficient this is,
Mr. Moseby?

It's fast, easy

And nothing can go wrong.

Hey, look.

I picked up a little hitchhiker.

Uh-oh. Sweet mother of pearl.

Is that a hawk?

Oh, this isn't gonna be pretty.

Oh, look.

Tipton towels for your voters.

I'll show Maddie how
to buy an election.

Great.

I got the picture of
Cody you asked for.

They want to play dirty,
we'll play dirtier.

And if they play dirtier,
we play dirtier-er.

This is perfect.

This will crush him.

You sure we're not going too far?

No. Too far would be dumping Cody

On a cargo ship to South America.

Where he'll spend the
rest of his miserable life

Working the copper mines.

You've done this before?

Let's just say someone
worked here before Moseby.

Mr. Moseby, I just
wanted to apologize again

For landing on that guest.

I guess I'm no Irv Weldon.

Actually, since the employees

Heard you were building
robots to replace them,

Efficiency has gone
up . percent.

How did you arrive at that number?

I made it up.

Great work, Arwin.

Thank you.

Arwin...

Cody needs your help.

Arwin...

Neck.

The speeches for class
president are today.

This is my last chance
to show the voters

That a serious candidate,

Who wants to improve

their math and science programs

Can also be exciting.

Arwin!

Look, we know Zack's going

to do something really flashy,

And this is my boy's last
chance to wow the votes.

Ok. I'll get my
skates and ukulele.

Vote for Zack.

He'll wipe up the floor with Cody.

Get it?

Wipe up the floor? Towels?

But why don't you
want to wipe me up?

You don't think my candidacy
is a thr*at to you?

I didn't know you were running.

Yeah, me, either.

I just decided.

Oh, you want a button?

It's just a piece of paper.

Yeah, with tape.

How are we doing?

Great. But we're
running out of towels.

No problem.

I brought some mini
shampoos and conditioners.

Cool. We'll tell them to wash

Cody right out of their hair.

Get it?

No, see, it's like,
when you have shampoo,

And then you want to wash Cody...

Vote for Zack. Vote for Zack.

Vote for Zack. Vote for Zack.

So, still trying to bribe
your way to victory?

Yeah, and it's still working.

Where's your candidate?

Oh, he'll be here,

And he's gonna make your silly,
little shampoos

Look like...

Silly...little shampoos.

Vote for Cody. Vote for Cody.

Vote for Cody.

Fellow students.

The P.A. Announcer
couldn't be here today.

Someone stole all his clothes.

So I'll be your
impartial moderator.

And when Zack's selected,

Your queen.

Way to be impartial.

Our first speaker is Bob.

Ok, please, please, please.

Ok, that's enough.
Hold the applause.

Hold the applause.

Hi, I'm Bob,

And I'd like to be
president because,

Well, it's not like I
have anything else to do.

My cable's out.

Anyway, remember, a vote for Bob

Is a vote for Bob.

Oh, thanks, sis.

That's my brother.

At this time,

I'd like to formally
withdraw from the race.

It was great speaking to you.

I would've got sunburned
in Hawaii anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Your best candidate.

And my future king.

All hail Zack Martin!

Thank you!

Thank you. Thank...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Now...

Usually, at this point,
I would tell you

What I would do as your president.

Then, my opponent
would do the same.

But apparently...

My opponent is too
scared to show up.

Oh, by the way,

In order for you to make
an informed decision,

I thought you might want to see

What Cody looks like...

When he's afraid.

Now, is that what you
want from a president?

No one ever said,
when the going gets tough,

The tough grab blankie.

Just remember, Cody Martin

Wrong for th grade.

Wrong for America.

Says who?

Stop me.

Thank you.

Rock on.

Ok, ladies and gentlemen,

Students of all ages.

Young voters, I present to you

Your next president.

A man with his feet planted
firmly on the ground.

Cody martin!

Cody! Cody!

Cody! Cody!

Cody! Cody!

Cody! Cody! Cody! Cody!

Well, at least you were

wearing your helmet, and, uh...

Padded underwear.

Well...

Now that I have your attention

With that exciting entrance,

I'd like to focus on
what really matters.

The look on your face

When you hit the wall?

No.

The issues.

Starting with academics.

For example, if you get a
bad grade on an assignment,

You should get another chance.

Oh, that's just...

Not a bad idea actually.

And if we get nervous
during a test,

Can we all bring our blankies?

I can't watch this.

That's ok.

I'll show it to you later.

And we should let
local restaurants

Open up food stands at lunch

So we can have more variety.

I'd go for a taco stand.

Yeah. Everyone can wear
their feety pajamas, too.

I'm a fan of the feety
pajamas because they're warm.

You know, most of your body heat

Escapes from your
head and your feet.

Well, I want to escape
from this speech.

Cody, throw in the towel.

Get it?

Towel? Throwing?

And at the end of the day--

We can grab our blankie
and go nite nite.

Hey! Quit picking on him!

You've been picking
on him all week.

That's because he's my brother.

It's my job.

You've gotta give him a chance.

Get out of my way.

Look, Cody actually
has some great ideas.

I got nothing.

What about ice cream
and skate parks?

Yeah? Yeah?

Like that'll happen.

What, do you still believe
in the tooth fairy?

You people would be lucky

To have Cody as your president.

Vote for Cody, or don't vote

Because I'm withdrawing
from the race.

Zack's right. Let's not vote.

Yeah. Yeah.

Ok. That's not what I meant.

Vote, but vote for Cody.

Well, I for one am--

Voting for Cody.

You don't go to school here.

Oh. Well, if I went
to school here,

I'd vote for Cody.

Come on. Say it with me.

Cody!

Cody! Cody! Cody! Cody! Cody!

None of you are
getting shower caps.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks. Sorry about the mustache.

Sorry about the blankie picture.

Cody, I want you to know,

I'm voting for you.

Will you make me your queen?

How about a hall monitor?

Can I wear a crown?

- Yes.
- Done.