02x25 - Loosely Bathroom

[bunniefuu]

Zack, your theory
of the origin of the universe
is fascinating.

Really fascinating.

Ok, I can't take this.

The theory of the universe
is the string theory,

Not the string-cheese theory.

[music plays]

Until next time,
my sweet instructor.

Rrrr.

Hi, guys.

How are dance classes coming?

Oh, I need more students.

Otherwise, I won't
have enough money

To send to my sister
esther carlotta.

She's having
her quinceañera.

What's that?

Oh, it's a girl's
th birthday.

It's a very big deal
in my country.

If I cannot pay for it,

She'll be the
only girl in my village
who will not have a party.

So, why don't you just ask
mr. Moseby for a raise?

I'm sorry.

So, little blond
peoples,

To help me help
my little sister,

Will you please take
my ballroom-dance class?

We're into
more manly sports.

Yeah, we're more slam dunk
than grand jeté.

And some of us
are too manly
to even say,

Let alone do,
a grand jeté.

Actually, I adore
ballroom dancing.

Me, too.
It's so romantic.

Really romantic.

Sign us up.

Aw...
Aw...

Yeah.
Yeah.

♪ here I am in your life ♪

♪ here you are in mine ♪

♪ yes, we have
a suite life ♪

♪ most of the time ♪

♪ you and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪

so come on down

it's you and me
and me and you

♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

♪ you and me,
we got it all for free ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ this is the suite life ♪

♪ we've got a suite life ♪

[music plays]

Good job, everyone.
Now remember
to hold your frame.

Like this.
Unh.

Hey, esteban, how's this?

Ooh, excellent.
Fabulous.

Except you're
dancing like a girl.

My mom made me wear
these dancing shoes.

No, no, no.
A man has to lead.

That's right,
so follow my lead,
only not so close.

Keep your arms locked
and loosen your elbows,
don't look at your feet.

I thought esteban
was supposed to be
the teacher.

Oh, he is, so just pretend

You learned all this
great stuff from him.

Ok? All right.

What are you all doing here?

Cody said you were teaching
dance, and we couldn't wait
to learn from the great esteban.

So he told you I was
desperate for money,
and you took pity on me.

Pretty much.

Then I'm ok with that.
Ok.

Sign me up, too.

I have a whole closet
of ballroom-dancing clothes
I finally get to wear

That I threw out.

Ok. This is so wonderful.
Thank you all so much
for joining my class.

[coughs] is this
the ballroom-dance class?

Yes, it is. Are you
here to enrol?

Yes. My doctor told me
I needed some exercise,

But my nurse won't
let me chase her around
the living room anymore.

I'll be all right.

Would you like
to learn to dance?

Oh, no, thank you.
I'm working.

Shannon's only here
to make sure I don't turn
that shade of purple,

The one that makes
my doctors nervous.

You got a partner for me?
Somebody hot?

Oh, I have
just the woman.
[whistles]

[sing-song]
oh, mrs. Mayweather?

Ai.
Ay ai ai.

Hello, precious.

Esteban, good news.

I have booked the boston
ballroom-dance competition
for here at the tipton.

Now, if your school
takes first place,

You get $ , .

Oh, gracias, mr. Moseby.

You booked this to help me
pay for my sister's quinceañera.

No. I just wanted a trophy.

Do we all
get trophies?

Come on, people.

Let's keep
our priorities straight,
all right?

We're here to help esteban
win the money.

Thank you.

Although a trophy
would be nice.

Don't worry.
We're going to win
this trophy for you.

So let's get dancing.

[music plays]

Whoa!

[crash]

Ooh, that sounded like
it really hurt.

Really,
really hurt.

That dance class
was fantastic.

Don't jessica and I
make a great team?

Oh, fabulous.

Switch partners with me.

No way.
Gimme one good reason.

You can't lead jessica.
She's pushing you around
like a mop.

A happy mop.

What's wrong with janice?

She's got noodle arms.
It's like dancing
with spaghetti.

I'll never win
the junior division
with her.

Then why should I take her?

'cause you'll never win
with anyone.

That is...

Probably true.

Come on, we need to win this
for esteban.

Fine, I'll switch.

Oh, thanks, man. Have I ever
told you that I loved you?
No.

Hmm, you think I would have.

Hello, ladies.

Both: Hi.

You know, the codester and I
were talking last night,

And we have something
very important to tell you.
Take it away, cody.

We think you two
are so adorable

That we would like
to get the chance to dance
with each of you,

So can we switch partners?

How sweet.
Really sweet.

It was all my idea.

I would like you to meet
my new dance partner--lori.

Hi, lori.

Hello, lori.

Esteban tells me
you guys are great,

So we're gonna
win this thing.

Yes. Lori and I
will be competing in
the advanced division.

Well, uh, I've seen better.

Why can't I
be your partner?

'cause you're with me now,
baby, and we're gonna dance
till I'm blue in the face.

Well, that won't take long.
You were out of breath
when you walked in the room.

Ok, everyone,
let's go over what dance
each couple will be doing.

London, lance, what do you
feel comfortable doing?

Shopping.
Swimming.

I meant what dance?

The swim.
The shop.

The samba it is.

I think you two
should do the waltz.

Ah...
Ok.

Ok, next time,
I'll wear my flats,
you wear lifts.

I already am.
[snickers]

Ok, little blond peoples,
you will be doing the tango.

Ooh, the tango.
That's romantic.

Really romantic.

You and your partner
must move as one.

You must hold your partner
so closely

That this magazine
cannot fall.

Excellent. You got
a thinner magazine?

Man, the tango is great.

Really great.

You know, esteban,

I really think our team
has a chance of winning
this thing.

Oh, especially because
lori and I are gonna win
the advanced division.

Lori?

Where'd she go?

She said you were all
pathetic losers and left.

What?

What did she say?

You were a pathetic loser.

Oh.

Don't worry.
We don't need lori.

We're fantastic,
right, people?

All: Right.

Let's dance.

[music plays]

[music plays]

You're really
a lovely dancer,
mr. Moseby.

Yes, I know.

Now would you scrunch down
a little, please?

Why don't you scrunch up?
[grunts]

Scrunching.

Ah-choo!

Oh. Oh.

Oh, you loogied
on my tie clip.

Sorry.

I can't afford
to get sick before
this competition.

I'm the one that
has to carry this team.

You can't even reach
this half of the team.
Oh.

[music stops]
stop.

Who turned off the music?

We have to practice
our tango.

[tango music plays]

Jessica,
you're leading again.

I'm leading because
you're hesitating.

I'm hesitating
because you keep
criticizing me.

Because you're not
doing it right.

Because you're yelling.

You're the one
who's yelling!

Janice, esteban says

You need to hold
your noodle--

I mean, arms up.

I'm sorry, cody.
Really sorry.

I'm just not
very confident.

Don't worry, baby.

I'll take care
of everything.

Ready and...
[music stops]

Our turn.

We're not done.

We didn't even start.
We need to practice.

Fish boy here
has toto get back
to the pool.

Fish boy?

I like it.

Do I have any superpowers?

Yes. You have the power
to bore me to tears.

Cool.

[samba music plays]

Oh, now remember--

Esteban said
to count out the beats.

, ...

...

All: !

Dancing
would be more fun

If it weren't
for all this math.

[turns off music]

Hey!

We need to practice
since we're the only ones
with a chance of winning.

Beg to differ. I think
mr. Moseby and I stand
a pretty good chance

Once we solve
the scrunching problem.

Please. Fish boy and I
are gonna put you all
to shame.

And I have superpowers.

[all argue at once]

Oh, this is a disaster!

You're right, esteban.

We should be practicing,
not arguing.

Oh, I don't care about that.

I do not have a partner,
and if we do not win
this prize money,

My sister will not have
her sweet until she's .

I'll dance with you,
my little latin firecracker.

No, no, no, no.

I would not want
to take you away
from señor leo.

Fine with me. I got my eyes
on another honey.

Do you salsa?

I hate to break up a pair,

But since the advanced division
is worth the most points,

I think I should take
the best dancer in the class.

Ah, ha ha ha ha.

Esteban, esteban.

I am extremely flattered.

But who's gonna break it
to carey? She's gonna...

I am talking about carey.

Both: Carey?!

Really? You think
I'm the best dancer
in the class?

Don't be ridiculous.

She can't cha-cha.

Oh, yeah? Hit it.

[music plays]

[music stops]

Ooh, carey, you are
my new dance partner.

Yay! Thank-choo.

[stuffed up]
sorry I'm late.

Carey, why are you
talking funny?

What do you mean?

Oh, you're sick.

No, I'm not.
[hacking cough]

Yes, I am.

[music plays]

Ow. You stepped
on me again.

I stepped on you
because your foot's
not supposed to be there.

That's where
you led me.

Hah. It'd be easier
to lead a donkey.

Don't you be so rude
to my sister.

Oh, like it's my fault
she pushes me around
like a bulldozer.

[both gasp]

I will not be
spoken to that way.

No, we won't.

But w-w-w-w-wait.
That was a compliment.

How?

I have no idea.

And now for
the junior competition.

May I have all competitors
on the dance floor, please?

Now what do we do?

Esteban is counting on us,
and we don't have partners.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Just follow my lead.

I can do that.

[tango music plays]

Oh, just tell me
when it's over.

We need a big finale.

I know. Just think light.

Yeah, we did it.
All right.

Did ya see that,
esteban?

We did great.
The lift was awesome.

Yes, but lifting is illegal.

I'm sure
no one noticed.

We noticed.

Don't worry, dude.
They may have lost,

But london and I
are gonna make a big splash.

We're doomed.

[music plays]

[music stops]

And now it's jive time.

[music plays]

I got you, babe.

Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!

[crash]

Ice pack?

Ok... Ow. Oh.

According to my calculations,

If you and carey
dance perfectly, we can
still win the prize money.

Ok, let's practice
before we go on.

Ok. Stop spinning me.

I haven't started yet.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I was up all night coughing,
and I'm just--I'm a little--

I'm tired. [snores]

Oh, no, what am I
gonna do?

I have no partner,
and I'm almost up.

Hey, esteban.
Lori!

Oh, thank goodness
you're here.
I need a partner.

Sorry, I already have one.

One with whom
she cannot lose.

Alexander.

The great.

Ooh, you are good.

[music plays]

Oh, my poor sister
will never be a woman now.

I have no partner
and no prize money.

Well, maybe I could do it.

You know how to dance?
A little.

And I've been watching you guys
these past few weeks,

And I think I know the steps.

Ok, let's do it.

Wait. But she can't dance
dressed like that.

I don't have anything else.

No problem.

Perfect. Turn around.

[all gasp]

And yet, she can't figure out
a payphone.

[music ends]

And now
our final contestants--

Esteban julio ricardo montoya
de la rosa ramirez--

[inhales]

And shannon kwine.

Let's cha-cha.

[music plays]

[music ends]

Ah, well done, esteban.

You were incredible.

I've been watching
a great teacher.
Who?

All: You!

And the winning team
is the dance school

Of esteban julio ricardo
montoy--that guy.

Yeah!

Esteban, now you have
enough money

To pay for your
little sister's
quinceañera.

Oh, yes,
and I would like
to thank everyone

From the heart
of my bottom.

Bottom of my heart.

That, too.

Let's go celebrate.

[all cheer]

Mom...

Mommy.

Come on, guys.
Ice cream's on me.

Oh, mr. Clooney,
you dance divinely.

[dance music plays]