04x24 - Bargain Day

[bunniefuu]

( whistling sprightly tune )

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also starring Don Knotts.

Gonna be another hot one today, Aunt Bee.

Hear them locusts?

Yep, another hot one.

( squeaking )

Whatcha got there, boy?

New shoes.

Hmm... so I hear.

He needed new shoes, Andy.

I was going to take him down to Finley's

first chance I got.

And you know what you would've paid for them?

$ . . And these were $ . .

Mm. Stand up, let me see.

I got them in Mt. Pilot

in an outlet store.

They carried discontinued models.

Looks like they should've discontinued these

about a half inch sooner.

Oh, but they were nearly two dollars cheaper,

and the man said he'd grow into them.

At the rate he goes through shoes,

he'll be through the soles

before he gets anywhere near the toes.

I know, but why throw away good money?

sh**t the sugar, Paw.

How's that again?

May I please have the sugar?

That's better.

We out of sugar?

Oh, no, no.

I meant to fill that.

Yeah.

Gonna be another hot one, Paw.

Hear them locusts?

Yeah, I was just telling Aunt Bee.

Oh! Oh, I always do that.

That's a mighty big, cumbersome sack, Aunt Bee.

Well, it's more economical to buy it that way.

But if you wind up spilling half of it,

you're not saving anything.

You go to way yonder too much trouble to save money.

Why do you do that?

To keep expenses down... That's why I do it.

A penny saved is a penny earned.

I know, a penny earned is a penny taxed.

You men.

No sense of bargains.

Well, Aunt Bee, a bargain's not always a bargain.

When you buy sugar in a sack that's too big to handle...

Now, don't bring up that freezer again.

Well, I wasn't going to,

but since you did, didn't that teach you a lesson?

That freezer was the biggest bargain in the whole auction.

The auctioneer said so.

I know, and it's just been sittin' out there ever since,

fillin' up the back porch.

But you forget what I paid for it.

I saved over a hundred dollars.

Aunt Bee, the only thing

that's ever been kept in that freezer's a dead mouse.

Oh.

And he climbed in there to get warm.

Oh!

$ mouse trap.

You got to grab a bargain like that!

Hello, Mr. Foley.

Oh, hello, Clara.

How are you?

Just fine, Bee.

Afternoon, Miss Bee.

Warm today, ain't it?

Warmer tomorrow, the paper says.

What can I do for you?

Clara?

Oh, go right ahead, Bee.

I'm just settling this bill.

Mr. Foley, I don't know what I want.

Men are so difficult.

( phone rings )

Excuse me.

FOLEY: Foley's Market.

Oh, yes, Miss Ritter.

Bee, have you seen the new butcher shop?

The one that just opened?

Just the sign.

Sure, ma'am, I'd be glad to.

You ought to go in.

You should see the prices.

Lower?

Oh, good heavens.

FOLEY: No trouble. No trouble at all.

I'm glad to.

By the way, how's the little one doing?

I'll tell you outside.

Good, good. Glad to hear it.

Good-bye, Miss Ritter. Yep. Good-bye.

Oh, now, I'm sorry.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Johnson.

Now, Miss Bee...?

Uh, Mr. Foley, I left my list at home.

I think I'll come back later, hmm?

Sure, Miss Bee. Say hello to Andy.

Bye.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Tell me about this place.

Well, it's called Diamond Jim's.

You've seen it.

Just the outside.

Oh, Bee, you should see it.

It's brand-new, but the atmosphere...

Well, the butcher wears a straw hat and sleeve bands,

and-and there's sawdust on the floor...

You know, just like the old days.

And I'm telling you, the prices...

Ten cents a pound less than Foley charges for sirloin.

Ten cents? How is it possible?

Oh, it's a get- acquainted special, one day only.

The thing is, you have to buy a whole side of beef.

I'm telling you, Bee, if I had a freezer...

Why, they cut it for you,

wrap it for you... I have one.

Clara, I have a freezer.

You were there when I got it.

I was just thinking about that.

And Andy was ragging me about it just this morning.

I'm telling you, Bee, if I had a freezer,

I'd certainly take advantage of it.

Well, you're losing money

on it every minute that you don't use it.

You're right. I can't afford not to.

Let's have a little secret, you and I.

Let's not tell your father about this.

Let's surprise him. Hmm?

That'll be fun, don't you think?

Okay.

Now, I think I'll hold out a roast.

We'll have a real nice roast for supper.

That should put him in a good mood,

don't you think?

Paw's most always in a good mood.

Well, tonight especially. Is that all?

That's all.

All right. Here it goes.

Now, Opie, would you step behind there

and just put in the plug?

And be very careful.

Don't get shocked.

( clanking )

Oh!

Oh, gracious.

Well, it hasn't been running.

It'll work itself in.

Now, remember, Opie, not a word to your pa.

We want it to be a surprise.

Hi, Paw. Surprise.

Oh? What's the surprise?

I can't tell you. Aunt Bee said not to.

Oh?

Boy, something smells good.

You're not supposed to notice.

Andy, you're late.

I'm sorry, Aunt Bee. Things came up.

Well, supper's all ready.

Now, Opie, seat your father.

Candles? What's going on?

Well, I don't see why we can't have candles.

Sit down, Paw.

No tricks, now?

No. Okay.

Looks like a party.

Roast beef and no company?

Are you surprised, Paw?

Well, I sure am.

What is it, somebody's birthday?

Well, I thought we ought to have

a decent supper for once.

Well, boy, folks are really going to say

we're getting uppity.

Having roast beef, and it ain't even the weekend.

Is it okay if I start?

No, you wait till your father's had his.

Well, my goodness, we are formal this evening.

Get on your mark, get set, go.

Mm.

Ran into a friend of yours today, Ope.

You didn't say anything?

About what?

About the meat.

Oh, I wasn't going to,

but it is a little tough, isn't it?

Tough?

Try it. Foley really let you down this time.

You ought to speak to him.

Now, don't take on so, Aunt Bee.

I didn't mean...

Well, now, it's not your fault.

It's Foley's.

Anybody can get a hold of a tough one now and then.

Well, don't eat it if you don't like it.

It ain't all that bad.

Oh, throw it out.

Just throw it out.

Well... Aunt Bee?

Aunt, Aunt Bee, I-I'm sorry I-I said

what I did about the meat.

It's fine.

It's just...

Well, let's-let's put it in the refrigerator.

It'll be fine cold.

It gets tenderer sometimes.

Maybe from aging overnight.

Well, here, let me lend you a hand.

No, I don't want any help.

Well, here, Ope, grab a towel.

I told you, I don't want any help!

Well, it-it'll just take us a few minutes.

Out, out! I don't want you in the kitchen. Please.

What caused that?

Oh, well, that's nothing.

That happens all the time.

Well, it shouldn't.

I bet I know.

Opie, don't you have some homework to do?

No, ma'am, I did it all. Well, go and do it.

But, Aunt Bee, I did it all.

Go look at television.

That boy.

What did Opie do?

Nothing. He just makes me nervous, and you do, too.

Would you please get out of the kitchen?

Well, at least let me take the trash out.

No, I'll take care of things!

Now, go on, Andy.

Paw, the television's gone crazy!

The picture's crooked and fallin' down the stairs!

Go on, Andy, you-you go see what it is.

ANDY: Well, that's what's doing it.

Whatever's doing that.

That's what I been telling you.

If you'll just... Oh, it couldn't be.

Listen. There.

( squeaking )

I don't hear any squeaking.

Do you, Opie?

Who started the freezer?

What freezer?

I mean, what do you mean?

Who started what?

I mean, who...?

What have you got in there, Aunt Bee, a body?

Oh, that's right.

I try to be economical, and it's just a big joke.

What are you talking about?

No, you don't have to look!

You don't have to look!

I'll tell you if you think it's so funny.

I'll tell you what's in there...

pounds of beef.

pounds of beef?!

A pounds of tough beef!

Oh, I wish I was dead.

Well, it ain't all that tough.

Maybe the rest of it's nice and tender.

But how did you ever come to buy

pounds of beef?

Oh, that Clara!

When I see her tomorrow, I'll tell her...

Now, now, take-take-take it easy, Aunt Bee.

Tell me how it happened.

I bought it at the new butcher's.

What butcher?

Diamond Jim's.

Oh, how am I ever going to face Mr. Foley again?

Well, it looks like you won't have to

for at least a year.

( squeaking stops ) You got enough meat...

( whimpers ) Uh-oh, it stopped.

Oh...

Shouldn't keep stopping and starting like that.

Back off!

Back off! Back off!

Back off, Opie!

Short circuit.

Just stay away from it.

Mornin', Aunt Bee.

You're up early.

What are you doing out here?

I couldn't sleep.

I thought I'd come down and sit with it.

It sure looks like it's on its last legs, all right.

Going to be another scorcher, too.

All that meat in there, a day like this...

( freezer motor stops )

Uh-oh. Oh...

You better call that fella in Mt. Pilot

soon as he opens up and have him come and fix it.

Oh, Andy, not that man.

Well, he's the only one who can fix it.

There ain't nobody in Mayberry.

He charged us a fortune

to look at the refrigerator.

$ . just to replace a fuse.

He had to come all the way from Mt. Pilot.

Well, for $ . , he could do more

than replace a fuse.

Well, that's all it needed.

Now, call the man.

Well, couldn't we call somebody around here?

No. There's nobody around here.

Somebody that wouldn't rob us like that man from Mt. Pilot.

There are no freezer mechanics around here.

Now, call the man.

Well, how about Fred Poulice

who works for Louise Farmer?

He's very accommodating.

Well, at least we could have him look at it.

Aunt Bee, he don't know anything about freezers.

Now, call the man.

Well, he helped me fix the clothesline once.

Aunt Bee, just-just call the man.

Just call the man.

Hi, Paw.

Oh, hi, Ope.

Mornin', Aunt Bee.

Opie, where's your shirt?

Well, gee, it's so hot!

Opie, you can't come to breakfast like that...

A naked savage.

You go back and put your shirt on.

Well, gee, Paw, I'm roastin'.

Aunt Bee don't want any arguments.

Now, go put on your shirt.

Durn thing!

( motor starts )

Ooh! It's all right!

There's life in her yet,

but you can't tell when it might give out again.

You better call that man in Mt. Pilot.

No, Andy, you know how much he charges.

Aunt Bee, call the man.

Oh!

Aunt Bee, Gomer's here.

Oh, Gomer? Oh, thank heavens.

Well, why didn't you say so? Gomer.

Hey, Aunt Bee.

Oh, I've been nearly frantic.

You can fix the freezer, can't you?

I don't know. I ain't never tried.

Well, please try, hmm?

Well, now, don't you fret, Aunt Bee.

We'll have a look here and see what's wrong.

I don't see nothin' wrong.

I guess maybe we gonna have to open her up.

Shouldn't you pull out the plug first?

Plug?

So you won't get a shock.

Oh! Electric, huh?

That's a good idea.

I'll do it.

That's a good boy... My assistant.

Well, let's see what we got here.

Get this door off of here...

See what we got in there.

Reckon it's kind of like

a refrigerator or something.

Oh.

Hmm. There's a label here.

"Serviced by Ed's Refrigeration

March , ."

Just think, Aunt Bee.

Over years ago, a fella named Ed sat here

and worked on this thing just like I'm doing now.

Makes you think.

Gomer, I have a fortune in meat in there.

If it melts...

Now, don't you worry, Aunt Bee.

We'll have it perkin' before you know it.

Let's see what we got in here.

AUNT BEE: Find anything?

Uh-huh. Golf ball.

Is that yours, Ope? Uh-huh.

Better hold on to it.

See what else we got.

( snaps ) Ow!

Oh, Gomer, I'm sorry. I forgot.

That's the time the mouse got in the freezer.

Paw set it there.

Well, tell your Paw he got a nibble.

Gomer, what are you doing?

Hey, Andy.

I'm fixin' your freezer.

Aunt Bee, what's the matter with you?

He's going to ruin that thing.

We can let him try.

Why didn't you call the man?

( freezer hissing, Gomer coughing )

What's that? ANDY: What's what?

Leakin' out of there? It's antifreeze or somethin'.

Stop it! Shut it off! Shut it off!

I can't get air!

It smells like ammonia!

It's tear gas!

Get back, get back, Opie!

Call the fire department!

Don't call anybody.

Just get in the house. Get in the house!

( all coughing )

Guess Andy's right.

This'll blow over

soon as all that stuff leaks out of there.

Anything else I can do for y'all?

No thanks, Gomer. You've done enough.

Well, I'd better be getting back

to the fillin' station.

Thank you, Gomer. We're very grateful.

It wasn't your fault.

I'm glad to be of assistance, Aunt Bee.

Call me anytime. Come on, Ope.

You know what? You're a good assistant.

We almost had that thing fixed.

I'm sorry, Andy.

I know I should have called the man like you said.

Well, there's only one thing you can do now,

and that's take the meat back to the man that sold it to you.

Oh, I couldn't do that. I couldn't.

Well, tell him you got no way of keeping it.

No, I couldn't. I just couldn't.

What do you want to do?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe...

Oh, no, I couldn't do that either.

What?

Ask Mr. Foley to store it for us.

You're going to ask the man to store pounds of beef

you didn't even buy from him?

Well, what are we going to do?

Well...

we could throw a real big barbecue.

Oh, Andy.

Well, you better think of something,

or we're going to be stuck

with pounds of thawed-out beef.

Are you terribly busy, Mr. Foley?

Why, of course not, Miss Bee.

It's been a little slow today, as a matter of fact.

What can I do for you?

Mr. Foley, I wonder, could I ask

a tremendous favor of you?

Sure, Miss Bee. What is it?

Well, you see, I have this friend,

and she bought all this beef...

A whole side of it.

She didn't buy it from you.

She wishes now that she had.

But anyways, her freezer's broken down,

and I was wondering... I mean, she was wondering...

Sure, Miss Bee, you just tell your friend to bring it on over.

I'll be glad to store it for her.

Oh, I know it's asking a lot, Mr. Foley,

but you don't know how terribly grateful my friend will be.

She's willing to pay for it, of course.

Oh, nonsense. Won't cost me a penny.

I'll be glad to do it for you.

Oh, but I'd feel so...

I mean, she'd feel so much better...

Wouldn't hear of it.

Well, then let me buy a pound of hamburger?

Now, Miss Bee, what do you want with hamburger

with all that beef?

Oh, well, it isn't for me. It's for my friend.

No, it's not for my friend. I mean, it is for me.

It's for supper.

Miss Bee, you just forget it.

You've been too good a customer too long.

You just tell your friend

that any friend of yours is a friend of mine.

Oh, Mr. Foley, if you weren't already married...

I'd tell my friend.

There, that should do it.

Aunt Bee, won't all this meat melt?

It will if we don't hurry.

Start pulling.

( phone ringing )

Sheriff's office.

Oh, hello, Merrill.

What?

It did?

Well, I'll be dogged.

( dogs barking outside )

I thought I told Barney

to put that sign up so it'd stay.

( barking continues )

Well, I'll tell you what, Merrill.

I'll come over there this afternoon.

You and me will put it up, okay?

( barking continues )

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, Merrill.

( barking continues )

It was nothin'.

Just Opie and Aunt Bee with a coaster wagon

and a pack of yappin' dogs following them.

I'll see you, Merrill.

( barking )

Hey, you dogs, get out of there!

Get out of here, dogs!

Scram! Get out of here!

Get out of here, dogs!

( barking )

Aunt Bee, what's going on?

What's in there? The meat, Andy.

Will you get the dogs away?

The meat? Where you takin' it?

To Mr. Foley. He offered to store it for me.

Andy, would you please...

Aunt Bee, I'm not gonna let you do it.

What?

I'm not gonna have Mr. Foley

putting himself out for our mistake.

Now, you better get that meat back home.

But Mr. Foley said...

I don't care what Mr. Foley said.

It's not fair.

Now, it's our problem, and we'll solve it.

Well, how, for heaven's sakes?

We'll call the man from Mt. Pilot

to come over and fix the freezer.

He'll come first thing in the morning.

It's what we should have done to start with.

Well, the meat will defrost.

Not if you get it back in the freezer

and keep the lid closed.

But Mr. Foley...

Get the meat back in the freezer.

But... Call the man!

Come on, Opie.

( barking )

( barking )

Call the man!

Andy?

Oh, hi, Aunt Bee, how was the meeting?

Fine. Has the man been here?

Been and gone.

Oh, thank goodness.

All straightened out.

Meat's tucked away nice and frozen.

I saw Clara at the meeting.

It was all I could do to be polite.

If she ever mentions a word about a bargain again...

Well, it's all over now. Best forget it.

I suppose so.

How much did he charge to fix the freezer, the robber?

He didn't fix it.

He didn't? Why not?

Come on. I got a surprise for you.

You mean he came all the way

from Mt. Pilot again to do nothing?

What did he do?

There you are!

A new one!

A brand-new one!

Brand-new.

How you like it?

He sold it to you... The man from Mt. Pilot.

He sold me nothin'. I bought it.

But why?

'Cause life's too short. That's why.

I told him not to fool with the old one,

just get it out of here.

He agreed.

He said that thing must have come over on the ark.

Said the only thing we'd ever store in there was misery.

I suppose he happened to have a new one.

Well, as a matter of fact, he did.

He had just come from the warehouse.

What did you pay for it?

Not the list price, I hope.

It's one of the best.

Oh, Andy, Clara knows a discount house.

% off.

They have bankrupt stock,

everything... washers, freezers.

You go and buy this without asking?

( whistling )

Paw?

Hmm?

What'd they do before they had refrigerators?

They had iceboxes.

Boy, those were the days.

Too bad you missed 'em.

I remember hot days like this,

the old ice wagon would come by.

Us boys would chase after it,

jump on the back of it, snitch a piece of ice.

Always a little sawdust sticking to it.

Nothing like the taste of wet sawdust

from the bottom of the wagon.

Something's gone out of life since then,

you know that, Aunt Bee?

Mm-hmm. Typhoid.

( humming )

Before iceboxes, what did they do?

They had cold cellars,

place where they kept things cool.

( whistling )

Before cold cellars, what'd they do?

They had the Ice Age.

Oh.

Now, don't ask me what they had

before the Ice Age.

That's before my time.

Just set around and cussed the weather, I reckon.

We've come a long way since then.

We're living in the age of miracles.

Yes, sir, the a...

Andy!

( sighs )

Age of miracles.

Used to we sat around and cussed the weather.

Now we cuss the refrigerator.

( whistling )