01x24 - Crushed

[bunniefuu]

Open! Open!

Why are you rushing
to biology?

Afraid all the good
frogs will be taken?

I don't want
to run into Agnes.

We were buddied up on a field
trip to the planetarium,

and she wouldn't let go
of my hand all day.

I mean, you look at saturn's
rings once with a girl

and she thinks
you're engaged!

Don't sweat it.

Agnes's locker is at the
other end of the school.

Oh, hey, Agnes.

Aah!

Ha ha ha ha!

That's not funny.

Why, oh, why was I cursed with
these devastating good looks?

Imagine how hard it is
to be the handsome twin.

Hey, Agnes.

I'm not falling
for that again.

Hi, Cody.

Aah!

Hey, Agnes, Cody was
just talkin' about you.

You were talking
about me?

Yes. I mean no.
I mean, gotta go.

Wait. Look what I did
in art class.

It's you and me
sitting on saturn's rings.

Wow! That is so--

weird.

But I worked
really hard on it.

Yes. And it shows.

I KNEW YOU'D
APPRECIATE IT.

Wait till you see the one of
us on top of our wedding cake.

[Whoosh]

Where'd he go?

I'm not tellin' you.

bucks.
Biology.

♪ Here I am in your life ♪

♪ here you are in mine ♪

♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪ most of the time ♪

♪ you and me
got the world to see ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ it's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

♪ you and me,
we got it all for free ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ this is the suite life ♪

♪ we've got the suite life ♪

The coast is empty.
Ok.

Here, scamp!

[Barks]

Oh, what a cute doggy!

Does he know any tricks?

Tons. Oh,
here's his best one.

Mr. moseby's coming!
Hide!

Ooh! I know that one,
too!

But he always finds me.

Stop licking me!
It's disgusting!

And it tickles.

Ok. So he gets "hide"
and "lick" confused.

Now, Madeline,
we have strict rules

about dogs in this hotel.

[Ivana barks]

But ivana gets to come in.

She's a tipton.

But my house
is being fumigated,

and scamp had
nowhere to go.

Please. Look
at his little face.

[Whimpering]

Very well. But I don't
want my rug soiled.

That goes for all of you.

Oh! Scamp, want
to play with ivana?

Uhh! Who let
that mutt in?

That mutt happens
to be my dog.

Why am I not
surprised? Uhh!

It's probably
covered with fleas.

Scamp: I DON'T HAVE FLEAS.

Ok, maybe one. But he's
only here on weekends.

Ivana: FUNNY AND CUTE. WHY
HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE, DARLING?

Scamp: WE TRAVEL
IN DIFFERENT CIRCLES.

Oh, watch!

Rrr-grr-rrr-grr-rrr!

No offense,
but your dog's an idiot.

Relax.
We ditched her.

There's no way Agnes could
climb a -foot fence.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Hi, Cody.

What took you
so long?

Man, she's good.

Hi, Agnes.

Cody, your little
girlfriend is so sweet.

My girlfriend?

Oh, I get it. Ok.

Your friend that just
happens to be a girl.

Boys.

They're so silly.

So, Agnes tells me you
guys have a date tomorrow?

We don't have a date.

Ok. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

What do you call it when one friend
goes out to dinner with another friend?

Creepy beyond belief?

Zack, don't be jealous
of your brother.

You'll have a special
friend someday, too.

Yeah. Well, hopefully my friend
won't be from planet whoo!

Well, thanks
for stoppin' by.

Gotta go do
my homework. See ya.

That's ok, codylicious.

I have to go pick out
a dress for our date.

Thanks for the tea,
Ms. Martin.

[Chuckles uncomfortably]

What a sweetie!
She's a keeper.

Yeah,
in the basement.

Mom, I don't like Agnes
as a girlfriend.

I'm just the only one in
school who wasn't mean to her.

I'm sorry. I misunderstood.

But you are
so sweet.

Yeah, I know. And I
hate that about me.

Well, I like it
about you,

and obviously
Agnes does, too.

Maybe you should
give her a chance.

That would be the right
thing to do, young Cody.

Mom, I don't want to end
up like Johnny melnick,

the boy Agnes liked
last year.

WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?

He disappeared.

He moved to Arizona.

That's
the official story.

Now, now. I'm sure you're just
being a little paranoid...

Codylicious.

Oh, this is
so romantic.

Do you like it
when I feed you?

Yes. Although I could feed
myself if you untied me.

But if I untied you,

you might try
to run away again.

No, I wouldn't.

And it's not just because you
nailed my feet to the floor--

which, by the way, is taking
some of the enjoyment

out of this tasty
Mac and cheese.

Let me pull
those nails right out.

[Screaming]

Man, I just had
the scariest dream

in the history
of scary dreams.

What was it about,
honey?

Aah!

Hi, guys. How'd she get in here?

I let her in.
Why?

Kicks.

By the way, you'd
better get dressed.

Your wedding's
in minutes.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wedding?!

Hi, hubby-wubby.

Told you it would
all work out.

[Screaming]

Man, I've been watchin' you
scream for minutes.

Why didn't you
wake me?

There was
nothing on tv.

Well, I'm glad
you're having fun.

I was having
a nightmare about Agnes.

How am I gonna
get rid of her?

Maybe she'll have
a lousy time on your date.

After all, you are
boring as a stick.

ACTUALLY, WORSE.
YOU CAN PLAY WITH A STICK.

Thanks for trying
to cheer me up,

but I'm a goner.

Nothing I do
bothers her.

That's because
you're too nice.

Do somethin'
to gross her out.

Sneeze on her.
Pick some eye boogers.

Braid your nose hair.

Ew! That's gross!

That's the point. Come on,
I'm giving you gold here.

I can't do it.

Being gross
is your specialty.

Wait a minute.

WHY DON'T YOU
GO OUT ON THE DATE,

pretend to be me,
and gross her out?

What do I
get out of it?

I'll do all your homework
for the next month?

Through college.
High school.

Face it, you'll never
make it to college.

Good point. Deal.

Oh. Ms. tipton.

I see by my
seating chart

you are dining
with royalty tonight.

Oh, if I may say so,
brava for you.

Lord corcoran
is ivana's date.

Oh.

I--oh!

Oh, I--I see

I'll be serving
dogs tonight.

UH, IN...WHICH CASE...
BRAVO FOR ME!

Snookums, say hi
to lord corcoran.

How do you do?

Oh, fabulous.
I just won

the English kennel club's
best in show.

Who came in second place?
A cat?

I think
they like each other!

You also think
and is .

Here's your table.

Beautiful evening,
isn't it?

Lovely couple.

Ooh, love the collar.

Menus? Ok,
I'm losin' my mind.

Excuse me. Could you
play the violin

when my date
arrives?

Good idea.

Then I'll ride
a unicycle

and juggle
on some bananas.

Could you?

Could this evening
get any worse?

Yo, dude.

Apparently, it can.

You'd better warn
the tables downwind--

I'm feelin'
a little gassy.

[Sobs softly]

Cody?

That's my name.
Don't wear it out.

Classy place,
isn't it?

You look...
Different tonight.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

It must be your glasses.

Here, let me clean
those off for you.

There you go.

Scamp.

Scamp!
[Whistling]

We have to find him!

Ok, ok, ok.
Think like a dog.

Think like a dog.

Please tell me you haven't
lost your dog in my hotel.

[Chuckles]
I haven't lost him.

We're...Playing hide-and-seek,
and he's winning.

Oh, and
he's really good.

Marco!

[SOFTLY]
Pollo!

First of all, that's
not hide-and-seek.

Secondly, you
don't answer yourself.

And thirdly,
it's polo.

Find that dog...

And remove him
from the premises,

OR I WILL REMOVE
BOTH OF YOU...

Permanently!

POLLO?

Oh, and
on mumsy's side,

I had a great-
great Uncle

whose human was
the Duke of windsor.

HE MAY BE A WINDSOR,
BUT YOU ARE A LOSOR.

They're in love.

I smell puppies!

Whatever you smell,
I'm not cleaning it up.

Woof.

Hiya, toots.

Scamp.

Gee, I been sniffin'
all over for ya.

Who's the stiff?

Shoo!
Patrick,

how dare you
let a dog in here?

My bad.

Scamp! What are you doing? Ohh!

Come on, puffball, take a
walk on the wild side...

Without a leash.
Woof!

See you around, loser.
Ruff! Ruff!

Ivana!
Come back!

Scamp!

Uh, check. [Whines]

Yes, sir.

Ohh!

Oh, yeah! Here we go!

Ohh!

Pasta?

That is so...

Unlike you.

Hey...What happened

to that cute
little mole of yours?

Right here. See?

That's meat sauce!

You're not my codykins!

I don't... like to
be fooled, Zack.

I'm sorry!
It's just that--

I know what's going on! You do?

Of course.

You want me
for yourself.

Whoa there, girl!

I coughed on your food!

I pulled a noodle
out of my nose.

And strangely...

I loved it.

AND YOU.

But you love Cody!

I did. But
let's face it--

you're exciting and--
and unpredictable.

YOU'RE MY LITTLE REBEL.

Agnes likes.

But--
shh!

Don't speak!

FOR I...
SPEAK FOR YOU.

I wished I'd shut up!

Open!

Open! Open!

Ohhh...

I'd like you to know

that, unlike you, I'm
not enjoying your pain.

Oh, hi, Agnes.

Very funny,
but that won't work.

Hi, Zack.
Aah!

[Sighs]

Ok, now I'm enjoying it.

Since when is your
locker next to mine?

Since I switched
with talia mendench.

Thanks, talia.

So you two will be seeing
a lot of each other.

Agnes: YES.

And when Zack
isn't here,

he's still here.

Welcome to planet whoo!

Oh. And if
you like that,

wait till you
see the picture

of what our baby's
going to look like.

[Whoosh]

Where'd he go?

Nothing you can do
will make me tell.

bucks. Soccer practice. Ok.

London, our dogs
are missing.

I've handed out fliers,
and you're on the phone?

I don't need fliers.
I just rented a blimp.

In minutes,
ivana's picture

will be hovering
over all of Boston.

What about scamp?

Get your own blimp.

Anyway, this
is all your fault.

MY FAULT?!

You shouldn't have
forced ivana to date

that...Lord cuckoo
of kumquat

when she obviously
liked my scamp.

She doesn't know
what she likes!

She's just a child.

And now I may
never see her again.

And I may never see
scampers again.

Ohhh...I just miss
ivana so much.

I can almost smell
her favorite food--

steak tartar
with chocolaty caviar.

And I can smell
scamp's favorite food--

pizza with kibble.

Esteban!

What's
on the tray?

The cover. Bye-bye.

Wait!

[Gasps]

Please!

Leave the doggies be!

Where are they?!

They're in love.

Do not separate them because
they come from different worlds.

I'll be having you
with extra kibble

if you don't take us
to those dogs right now.

Zack. Chill.

I MEAN, WE'RE
ON THE rd FLOOR.

What's Agnes gonna do,
fly in our window?

[Loud knocking]

Aah!

[No audio]

MAN! SHE IS GOOD!

Let's cut the ropes!

Don't be ridiculous. She might
fall and hurt somebody.

That's a risk
I'm willin' to take.

No. There has to be a smarter
way to get rid of her.

RIGHT! YOU THINK,

and I'll look
for some scissors.

Mr. ambassador, I'm sure
you'll be very comfortable

in our imperial suite.

It has bedrooms,
bathrooms,

and dogs makin'
kissy-face on the couch?!

Hey, do we walk in
on you when you're--

ok, we do.

Ivana!
Ohh!

Scamper!
Ohh!

Mr. ambassador,
please forgive me!

I am so sorry,
doggies.

They made me tell.

Poor ivana. Did that
big, mean mutt hurt you?

I want these dogs
out of here immediately.

[Ivana yelps]

[Growls] Ohh! Ohh!

Bow wow!

Ivana's never growled
at me before!

What's gotten
into you?

I told you.
They are in love.

And if you loved
your children,

you would not
come between them.

He's right.

We shouldn't let our personal
prejudices stand in their way.

Prejudice,
smedjudice.

With lord corcoran, ivana's
puppies would be champions.

Oh, but Ms. London...

Look at them.

They are such
a beautiful couple.

OH...SHE DOES
LOOK HAPPY.

AND IF SHE'S HAPPY...
AREN'T YOU HAPPY?

Yeah.

Mommy's happy.

I don't know
about you,

but I am hearing
wedding bells.

Well, this ought
to bring mommy down--

[chuckling]
Now we're in-laws!

No!

She's coming!

Are you ready for plan
"get rid of Agnes"?

I was ready
the second I met her.

It's time for the stalker
to become the stalkee.

Come in, sweetie.

Hi, zackie.

Hi, aggie.

Thanks for
inviting me over.

You know...This
is much easier

than scaling the side
of the building.

Although you
did look beautiful

with those pigeons
in your hair.

I did, didn't I?

Yes...

You did.

Step away
from my woman!

Cody?!

She's not
your woman!

She's mine!

She was mine first!

Guys, guys!

Please!

You know,
I've never had

boys fighting
over me before.

Agnes likes.

Ignore him.

Look what I've made
you, my beloved.

These are
our children--

Zack junior...

And Agnes junior.

I made them out of
peanut butter and jelly.

That is so sweet.

Oh! And
this is our dog--

zagnes!

Wrong! Our children

will be Agnes junior
and Cody junior!

And our dog's name
is agnody.

Right, honey bear?

She's not
your honey bear!

She's my
sugar muffin!

Tell him you're mine,
cutie patootie!

No one tells my Rosie
posie what to do!

Aah! That popping
noise you hear?

Yeah, that's
my shoulder.

I'm sorry. Let me

rub it for you,
sweetie tweetie.

No one touches my
lovey bunny but me!

Oh, yeah?!

Yeah!

[Both shouting]

Guys! Guys! Stop it!

I--I can't
stand this!

What's come
over you two?

You're right.

We're behaving
disgracefully.

We wouldn't blame you
if you walked right out

and never spoke
to us again.

Yeah. We're
so disgusting,

you might want to move
out of state.

Here, let me get
the door for you.

Unless you prefer
the window.

Wait a minute.

Are you two trying
to get rid of me?

Well...

Yes!

We're trying to show
you how annoying it is

to have someone who
won't leave you alone.

Oh.

I see.

I didn't realize I was
being such a bother.

Uh...Agnes...

What Zack is trying
to say is...

You come on
a little too strong.

NO...WHAT Zack
IS TRYING TO SAY

is...Leave.

The point is...

You can't force
someone to like you.

It takes time
for a friendship to grow.

You mean...If I hadn't
pushed so hard,

you would've
liked me?

It's...Possible.

Thanks for being
honest with me, Cody.

You're really
a nice guy.

So I've been told.

And that's why...

I'll wait for you.

Huh?!

So you just
go out there

and you sow
your wild oats.

And then...
When you're ready...

I'll be right out there
on that scaffolding.

Bye, codykins.

Hmmh.

I did it again, didn't I?

Yep.

Why, oh, why
was I cursed

with this incredibly kind
and gentle nature?

You gotta stop bein'
such a pushover! Ok.

Now, go do my homework
like you promised. Ok.

But you're only
getting a "b."

Yes! My first "b"!

I'm going to name
my puppy

Maria consuelo Marguerita
francesca del cielo.

I think we'll name
this one scruffy.

YOU CALL THOSE
NAMES?

Prince percival
persimmon du lac.

NOW, THAT'S A NAME.

Sure...If you want him to get
b*at up at the dog park.

What part of
"no dogs in the lobby"

don't you understand?!

Now, whoever's father does
not own this hotel is fired.

Oh, look
at that wittle facey!

Hoo hoo hoo!

How cute!

How cute!