02x17 - Boston Tea Party

[bunniefuu]

Zack?

Zack?
Where are you?

Up here.

I'm stuck.

I'll help you.
Swing your legs down.

[Grunting]

Stand still.

Quit kicking.

I'm only kicking 'cause
you're not standing still.

Aah!

Ok. Let's try
this again.

Now, hold your legs still
and don't move them.

Ok.

Ok.

I got your legs.

Now, let go.

Aah!

You know, you really
should tie these.

Hey, kids.

You like to play
here in the park?

Yeah.
We love it.

Too bad.
We're paving it over.

You can't do that.

Yeah. This is
where we play.

Come back in six months.

You can play
in the parking lot.

Bring a push broom.
You can make a few bucks.

[Chuckles]

♪ Here I am in your life ♪

♪ here you are in mine ♪

♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪ most of the time ♪

♪ you and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ it's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

♪ you and me,
we got it all for free ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ this is the suite life ♪

♪ we've got a suite life ♪

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Mom, we've got
the worst news ever!

Cheap Charlie's is
going out of business?

They're demolishing the
park across the street.

No. They can't
do that.

We should fight this.

Whoa, mom.

What are you going to do?
Hem them to death?

Well, sewing
is dangerous.

I meant we should
fight city hall.

You can't
fight city hall.

Yes, you can.

I once dated
this guy...

Both: Ohh.

What?

You fought city hall
and won...

And then your
boyfriend dumped you.

Did I tell you
this story before?

No. That's just how all
your boyfriend stories end.

My point is
if you believe

in something
strongly enough,

you should fight for it
no matter what the odds.

I see your point, mom.

I'm going to write
a strongly worded letter

with exclamation points and a
liberal use of underlining.

I'm proud of you, son.

My little warrior.

Ha! Your
little warrior sleeps

with a bunny rabbit
night light.

Don't you want to help
save the park, too?

You know, mom.

I've learned a lot
in my years.

And one of the things
I've learned

is that when a little guy
tries to fight a big guy,

the little guy ends up
head first in the garbage.

Oh, honey.
Did that happen to you?

No. Cody.

I was watching
from behind the lockers.

Oh, maddie.
Guess what?

I'm going
to take a test

and become a citizen
of the United States.

All of them.

There are states.

I better get
a new pamphlet.

Oh! Achoo!

Here.
I'll quiz you.

Who was the first president
of the United States?

I know! I know!

He chopped down
a cherry tree.

Had icky wooden teeth.

Don't tell me.

It's George Washington.

No. That's not it.

Yes, it is.

The guy in the
one dollar bill.

They make
a one dollar bill?

I bet you can't name a
single founding father.

Can so.

My father founded
tipton industries.

No, no, no.
I meant because--

I'm bored. Bye.

Hey, guys. Check out this cool
stuff I found in the basement.

Ohh!

Wow!

Herman, you're right.

This stuff is amazing.

Oh, no, no, no.

I was talking about
this ball of yarn.

Huh? No wonder cats
love this stuff.

What you got there?

Check out the guys
in this old painting.

And I thought Cody
dressed like a dork.

Oh, planning the
Boston tea party.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

I studied that.

It is when the colonists got mad
at the British about Texas.

You mean taxes?

That's what I said.
"Texas."

Look. This building in the
background says the tipton inn.

Oh, that must be the inn

that was founded
by London's ancestor.

Wow! A lot has changed.

This painting
is dated .

Ooh! It could
be very valuable.

Finders keepers.

Losers weepers.

This painting is the
property of the tipton hotel

and is staying right
here in this lobby.

Ooh!

And apparently, so am I.

Meow. Meow.

What are you doing?

Counting my armpit hair.

One.

Done.

You're bored without
the park, huh?

How about I make you a cup of
your favorite hot chocolate?

Yeah. Make it a double
with extra marshmallows.

Here's my scathing
letter to the mayor

about destroying
our park.

Sir. Notice it doesn't
say "dear sir."

Ooh. That may
make him cry.

Zack, at least
your brother's fighting

for something
he believes in.

By the way, how many
pages is that letter?

. Single-spaced.

Ok. Here it goes.

Oh, I'm late
for rehearsal.

I'm sure it's great
though, honey.

Love you. Bye.

No problem.

I'll just read it
to Zack.

I picked a bad day
to be Zack.

"I am writing

to register
my outrage," underlined,

"at the city's complete
disregard," italicized,

"for the quality of life of
the children of Boston."

Bold faced.

More like bored faced.

"Liberty park is an important
part of our community."

Three exclaims.

Now, brace yourself
for this next paragraph.

It's where I question
his character.

"In the mid- s,

the tipton was
established and..."

Reading on the job again,
mistress Madeline?

But there's this great
article in colonial teen.

It says some modern girls
aren't wearing corsets.

Scandalous.

Next, they'll be
telling you

it's acceptable
to show your ankles.

Ah!

Now, get back to work.

We need to raise the price
on our sweet meats.

Oh, but I just raised
them minutes ago.

Well, the British have
increased the taxes

on everything again,
including sugar and tea.

Maketh way, peasants.

Don't you just
love my new hair?

I just got it cut.

I hear the short
look is in.

Master moseby,
I'm telling you--

no one can afford to
buy this overpriced tea.

Except me.

pounds of tea,
please.

Who drinks pounds of tea?

Nobody, silly.
I bathe in it.

It's all for me.

Irene, did you make my
reservations at the happy badger?

I'll call right away,
lady tipton.

Hey, Bartholomew!

for dinner
tonight at : !

Bartholomew:
Booth or table?

Booth or table?

Booth.

Booth!

Master moseby!

Uh. No, you're in the--

no, no, no. Arwin.

Arwin! Wait!

Just--wait--
here we go. Right here.

Perfect.
There. Done.

Down a little step.
Oh, no.

Wait till you see
my new invention.

I call this little
sucker a dirt sucker.

Watch.

Huh?

Is this genius
or what?

It goes in down there,

and comes out...

Looks like it still
has a few bugs.

Most of them
are in my mouth.

[Rumbling]

Stop, you hooligans.

What are these
infernal contraptions?

Arwin invented them.

He calls them...Television.

Why?

Well, because I saw
them in a vision

and I just had to
tell you about it.

We love 'em, arwin.

Yeah. Although we could do
without these helmets.

Well, look on
the bright side.

When you finally
get where you're going,

you can cook something.

Oh, good folk, I come
bearing important tidings.

The people
are revolting.

You're telling me. Have
you seen how they dress?

Well, am I wrong?

Oh, we dress
the best we can,

considering most of our money
goes to English Texas.

You mean taxes?

That's what I said.

He's right.

My take-home pay
is so small,

I won't even be able
to afford a used horse.

And I'm, like, getting
my license, like, this year.

She's a valley
forge girl.

Ah.

Boys, you need
to get upstairs

and study for your American
history test tomorrow.

Mother, there
is no history.

Yesterday, we got
off the boat

and today,
we bathed in the creek.

Well, we should make history by
rebelling against the British.

I've been working on a new
flag for our new country.

This will show the British we
are not to be trifled with.

Don't tread on me.

Love the saying,

but the bunny isn't
exactly scary.

It's supposed
to be a bear.

Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
Shh! Shh! Shh!

There will be no talk of
revolution in my inn.

Lord tipton and
king George are like this,

and I don't want
to end up like this.

Esteban: Fellow patriots.
Gather around.

Ok. I hear lord tipton
has a boatload of tea

coming in tonight
from england.

Let's dump it in the harbor
to protest high taxes.

The harbor?

Isn't that where all
those British ships are

with the big g*ns
pointing at us?

We can't
fight the crown.

What if I wrote
a strongly-worded letter?

Listen, quill boy,
paper may b*at rock,

but cannonball makes
huge hole in paper.

Well, you can sit here

and write all
the letters you want,

but if you want
to be free, then follow me.

I'm with ye.

Give me liberty...

Or give me death.

Is there a third choice?

Now remember, during
our raid on the tea ship,

these Indian headdresses
will disguise us

so the British won't
know who we are.

You know what?

Look, guys.

I care about liberty as
much as the next person,

but there is a reason
the British rule us.

England.

Us.

England.

Us.

It might not
always be that way.

In fact,
I envision a country

that will one day reach
from sea to shining sea.

Yeah. And someday man
will walk on the moon.

Yeah, right.

Actually,
I'm working on that,

but I am going to need
a very long rope.

Just think how wonderful
it will be

when we're all citizens
and can vote.

Can Zack and I vote?

No. You're only kids.

Can maddie and I vote?

No. You're only women.

So who can vote?

Those who
are qualified to.

Me and arwin.

Don't we have
any other choices?

Well, voting isn't the only
thing we're fighting for.

I'm fighting
for free speech.

I'm fighting
for free press.

Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Fighting?

I thought this was
arts and crafts.

Look, guys.

That all sounds great,

but it's not
worth it for me

to risk my hide
for a cup of tea.

Fresh pig's feet!

Hog fresh. They were walking
around this morning.

Hey, Zack, can you give me
a pack of fat-free feet?

Hey, one pack
of fat-free feet

and a large hot
chocolate.

That will be
three pounds sterling.

What?

That's triple what
it was yesterday.

Sorry, king George has
raised the tax on chocolate.

[Gasps]

Oh, no, he didn't.

Still think it's not worth
fighting the crown?

You're right.

King George has gone
too far this time.

Give me chocolate
or give me death.

[Cheering]

Death is kind
of harsh, isn't it?

Time-outs can
be very effective.

[Cheering]

Man, that was great.

I haven't hurled
that much stuff

since I ate my mother's
day-old possum pot pie.

Waaah!

This is a great day.

We've made history.

Oh, great.
More for me to study.

You were there,

and you're still
probably going to fail.

Aah! Indian att*ck!

All: Where?!

Aah!

Aah!

Moseby, get rid of them.

But first, buy some
of their cute beads.

London, we're not Indians.

We're revolutionaries.

All: Yeah!

It's me. Maddie.

Oh, that explains
why your moccasins

don't match
your headdress.

We just dumped all the English
tea into the harbor.

All: Harbor!

And a box
of hot chocolate.

All: Chocolate!

Although I saved
one packet.

How dare ye!

That was
my daddy's ship.

Oh, dear.
I could lose my job.

And I could lose
my allowance.

Well, to become a citizen
of this new country,

we will all have
to make sacrifices.

That's right, and some things
are worth fighting for.

[Bell rings]

You guys,
the town crier is here.

[Bell rings]

What news have you,
town crier?

Nothing's going right.

My cow ran dry,

my wooden teeth
have termites,

and my girlfriend left me
for the village fool.

Don't look at me.

I didn't even run
for fool this year.

But on the bright side,

we just won
the revolution.

[Cheering]

Wow, that was fast.

What do you expect?
This is a dream.

It is?

Yeah. It better be.

Next time, could you
dream I was a viking?

All: Whoa!

Little Bob peep
has lost his sheep.

Zack, wake up.

Zack! Zack!

Aah!

Oh, man.

I can never wear
pastels around you.

How long was I asleep?

Long enough for me to run
across the street to city hall,

read them my letter, and
have them laugh in my face.

You were right.

There's no use
in fighting city hall.

No. I was wrong.

You can fight city hall.

Dude, pick a side.

I just had a dream
that taught me two things.

No matter
how small you are,

if you're fighting for something
you believe in, you can win.

What's the second thing?

Bob looks terrible
in petticoats.

Wait a second.

I just thought of a
way to save our park.

Could they tear it down if it
has historical significance?

Probably not.

But your
double keg flip

over the water fountain
doesn't count.

That's not what
I'm talking about.

And by the way,
it should count.

Now, come on.

Esteban, don't worry.

You're going to do
great on the test.

Ok, ok.
Remind me again.

What's the president's
cabinet?

Oh, that's easy.

That's where Mrs. president keeps
all the cleaning supplies.

Ignore her and
you'll do fine.

It's ok.

I have
my lucky rabbit's foot,

although it wasn't
lucky for the rabbit.

[Chuckles] Esteban
doesn't need any help.

You are going
to be just fine.

Mr. moseby, where's
that old painting?

Hanging proudly on the wall,
where it will stay forever more.

Or not.

D-d-don't take
it down, please.

No, you can't stand
behind the desk.

Ok. That's it.
Tell me what's going on.

You see this little tree in the
back of the old tipton inn?

Mm-hmm.

That grew into the big
tree in our park.

That's where they planned
the Boston tea party.

That must be why they
named it liberty park.

That tree's
a historical landmark,

so they can't tear it down.

Cody, you're a genius.

How did you
figure all that out?

Zack figured it out.

No. Seriously.

I have my moments.

Now, please go down
to city hall

and get them to stop
the bulldozers.

You want an injunction?

Oh, no. I hate needles.

Just go get them
to stop it.

Maddie and London, I need
you to alert the media.

Well, how do
I get their attention?

Hello?

I walk outside.

And outside
would be that way.

When you throw it,

it makes a streamer
like an asteroid.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, guys,
what's all the hub-bub, bubs?

Zack figured out
a way to save the park.

Both: No. Seriously.

You know, I wish you people
would realize

that I'm a thoughtful
and intelligent person.

I realize that, honey.

Now, we're going to go lie down
in front of the bulldozers.

And I spoke too soon.

Don't mess with me
or the tree of liberty!

Don't mess with me
or the tree of liberty!

Oh, no.

Determined protestors

and all I have is
a two-ton bulldozer.

I'm going to tie myself
to this tree

so you'll have
to go through me.

Hey, that rhymes.

I got a cute poem.

Roses are red,
violets are blue.

I can't wait
to run over you.

Well, you are going
to have a long wait.

Heh!

Wait! Wait! We have
newspaper reporters!

Take pictures!
Take pictures!

Come on, London.

Sit down.

In this dress?

I don't think so.

Emotionally I'm with them.

But you know,
atore vitalli.

Excuse me, bricks
on the ground.

I just talked
to my supervisor.

He said if we don't
work, we don't get paid.

So, I'm starting up
the dozer.

Bring it in!

Don't mess with me or
the tree of liberty!

Don't mess with me
or the tree of liberty!

Stop!

If you get any dirt
on this dress,

daddy will take away
your bully-dozer.

Ok.

Stop the bulldozers!

I got the injunction!

Did you hear that?

He got the injuntiaahhhh!

Ok. There it is.

Go ahead.
Read it and weep.

It's all there
in black and white.

All right, guys.

We're done here.

[Cheering]

Oh, Zack, I am so
incredibly proud of you.

As am I.

Who knew you'd be the one
to fight city hall and win.

Thanks, guys.

Well, I think my letter
softened them up.

Hot dogs!

Get your hot dog.

Hot dog!

Hey, hey, hey.

Got any pigs feet?

I'm not allowed
to say what's in them.

Bill.

Bill. Bill.

Hey, bill,
your mail's here.

Mr. moseby,
anything for me?

No.

No.

Ooh!

This looks official.

Peoples, the results of
my citizen test is here.

Oh, aye, aye, aye.

I passed!
I passed!

I am so happy
for you, Esteban.

Oh, gracias.

I am now a citizen of
these United States.

No, no, no.

states.

You're lucky you
were born here,

although your hair does
look a little foreign.

I call it a faux-hawk.

And just like
your hairdo,

well done!

Well, this
is a dream come true.

I'm now an American,

with all the perks and
privileges that come with that.

Ooh! Here's
your first perk.

You got jury duty.

Ooh, too bad.

Tough break.

Oh, no.
This is wonderful.

I get to serve
my country already.

I need two weeks off.