06x06 - A Warning from Warren

[bunniefuu]

[Whistling]

looks bad, andy.

Huh? Real bad.

What looks bad?

Same old trouble.

Tired hair.

No life, it's listless.

It's all tuckered out.

It just lays there.

What's the matter with that?

Well, hair is just like your body and it needs exercise.

Up, down, up, down, up.

, , , Up, down.

[Clearing throat]

what are you gettin' at, floyd?

Hmm. Scalp treatment, $ .

No, thank you.

$ ? No vibrator. No, thank you.

$ , Just fingers.

Floyd, I don't want a scalp treatment.

Ok, andy.

[Sniffing]

it's your hair.

Hmm. Won't be for long, though.

Hey, andy. Hey, floyd.

Oh, hey, goober. Hey, goober.

Andy, what am I thinkin'?

[Chuckling] I don't know what you're thinkin'.

Well, guess. I can't guess.

You ain't got it.

I ain't got what?

E.s.p.

E.s.p.? That's right.

You mean extrasensory perception?

Yeah, you know, where you read folks' minds

and predict the future and things.

Warren's got it.

What are you talkin' about?

Warren's got e.s.p.

He gave me this article to read up on it. It's real interestin'.

Wait a minute.

You mean to tell me, warren told you

that he can read folks' minds and predict the future?

That's right.

He's too much.

Yes, he is.

He was in here yesterday.

He told me otis would come in for a shave before I closed.

He predicted it, andy.

He predicted it right before my eyes.

What happened? Uh, well, I saw otis stagger by.

So I went out and asked him if he wanted a shave.

I'll be dogged. Did you shave him?

I helped him in, put him in the chair

and I shaved him.

[Whistles] wow!

Oh, well, that doesn't count, floyd.

Otis didn't come in. You went out and got him.

Well, I say warren's got a gift.

Hmm, I was wonderin'

what he was acting so strange about.

Well, what do you mean? He's not acting strange.

He's got a gift of e.s.p.

And he can predict the future.

It says right here in this magazine people can do them things.

Uh, floyd, warren's been doin' a pretty good job

as my deputy since he's been here.

He's a winner.

And I know how he's your nephew

and you must be proud of him and everything.

Yeah, he's a real lawson.

But he doesn't have e.s.p.

[Door opening]

(andy) hey, warren. Hey, goober.

Hey, uncle floyd.

Andy, I knew you were here. Thought waves.

Uh-huh. Oh, remarkable!

I knew that he was here.

Image of my sister,

same high forehead, same pointy nose.

Hmm.

What's this about e.s.p.?

Well, andy, it's, uh,

somethin' I'm just blessed with, I guess.

Somethin' over which I have no control.

It's like the book says,

"the powers of extrasensory perception

come and go of their own volition." Hmm.

But you don't have powers like that.

Oh, no? Well, what about yesterday, andy?

What about yesterday? Well, when I told you to think of a number

between and , then I picked it.

Well, it took you tries.

I got it, andy. I got the number.

Hey, listen to this. About a little girl on the mountain...

Oh, yeah, let me read that, goober.

Warren, I'm readin' it.

Goober, that happens to be my magazine.

Gee whiz.

And, goober, in the future when I lend you my magazine,

I would appreciate it very much

if you didn't turn down the corners.

Gee, I hate that.

Andy, this particular incident about the girl on the mountain

happens to be a very significant case.

Ooh.

It happened in poland in .

" -Year-old sonia walachacka of warsaw, poland,

"while walking down a city street

"saw a vision of an avalanche.

"The following evening there was an avalanche at a nearby mountain.

This little girl's warning saved the lives of people."

That's documented, andy. That is documentation.

Well, just because she did it doesn't mean you can do it.

Boy, you know, andy,

I don't know how to put this to you,

but you are what we call a skeptic.

Sonia, uh, wala... Walachacka.

Chacka.

I'd like to shake that little girl's hand.

Oh, warren, could you do somethin' like she done,

or do you just know about otis needin' a shave and things like that?

[Laughing]

oh, I see. Uh-huh, uh-huh. All right.

All right, let's clear the air around here once and for all.

Andy, there happens to be a test in this magazine.

I am more than willing to submit to it. Ok.

All right. Now, it's very simple. Here's what we do. Uh-huh.

I leave the room. Yeah.

Of you pick out an object, any object in the room,

mmm-hmm. And I come back in

and attempt to identify said object.

Miraculous!

Ok, but if it doesn't work,

that proves that you don't have e.s.p., Right?

All right. Agreed.

[Laughing] ok. Anytime you're ready.

Fine.

All right, now, let's pick something.

Yeah. Well, oh, say. This brush.

No, no, no. You'll wave that around

and point to it and everything.

Hey, how about this table?

Yeah, the table. Ok.

Ok, warren.

Anytime you're ready.

If you will all please concentrate

on the object of your choice.

Hey, this is scary, ain't it?

[Tapping]

uncle floyd.

The mirror. Oh, wonderful! Wonderful!

Floyd, it was the table.

Uh, uh, oh, yeah. Oh.

Oh, it was the table, huh?

Well, andy...

Andy, come here. Look in the mirror, andy.

What do you see? The table, right?

That's what we call reflected thought waves, andy.

From your mind into the mirror back to the table

back to the mirror and into my thought processes, you see.

It's unbelievable what I have, isn't it?

I mean, it's absolutely unbelievable.

You want to go to myers lake then, huh?

Well, let's do. You haven't been

out of this office for months.

I know. Look, warren can take care of the office.

Few hours out in the fresh air, you'll be like a new man.

Hmm. Ok.

Oh, good.

Hey, uh, hey, warren?

Here, andy.

Oh. Listen, helen and I are goin' on a little picnic tomorrow.

You think you can handle things here in the office while we're gone?

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.

You just have a good time, that's all.

Ok. I'll call sheriff mitchell

over in pike county and tell him.

If you get in trouble give him a little ring, huh?

What you reading, warren? Hmm?

Oh, oh. Just a book.

Well, what is it?

Well, it happens to be on a subject

that your boyfriend and I don't see eye-to-eye on.

Oh? Mmm.

{\I }the fundamentals{\i } {\i }of extrasensory perception.{\I } yeah.

E.s.p. Well... That's right.

Warren, I didn't say it doesn't exist.

That's ok, andy. It's ok, it's ok.

See, warren thinks he has e.s.p., And up to now

I just haven't seen any proof of it, that's all.

Andy, I don't want to discuss the matter anymore.

As a matter of fact I never intend to mention it again.

I'll just proceed with my research and, uh, keep it to myself, all right?

Helen.

[Sighing] you notice he didn't know

we were going to myers lake.

Oh, andy.

[Sighing]

just won't come through.

[People chattering]

well, maybe you just think it's there, but it ain't.

Oh, no, goober.

Believe me, there is a vision out here before me somewhere.

See, I see blue, I see masses of green,

I see a man and I see a woman,

and I see danger.

Warren, you tryin' too hard.

Why don't you just take it easy for a while?

Hamburger.

Peanut butter and tuna.

Well, have you got any ketchup?

[Thudding]

where's my milkshake?

How's your hamburger, warren?

Blue, green,

danger.

He been eatin' your sandwich?

[Shushing] he's got exsensor perceptive.

I'm sorry.

I see a man. I see a woman.

Warren, why don't you eat your hamburger?

Maybe your thoughts don't work too good on an empty stomach.

It's there. It's there.

You think maybe you got a line on another avalanche?

No.

Well, why don't you just take it easy for a while?

Hmm.

[Potato chips rustling]

[crunching]

mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

[Panting] it's comin'.

It is?

It's c... That's it.

Come on, goober. We gotta get of here.

No, I ain't finished my sandwich yet... Come on, goober!

[Tires screeching]

(warren) andy! Yo, andy! Andy!

Get up, andy! Andy!

[Banging on door] (warren) get up, andy!

Yo, andy! Andy!

Coming! Get up, andy!

Coming! Andy!

Just a minute!

Get up, andy! Just a minute. I'm coming right now.

Andy! Get up, andy!

[Groaning]

coming!

[Crickets chirping] I hear him comin'.

I'm coming! I'm coming!

[Thudding] I'm coming! I'm coming!

What happened? Now, andy, calm down. Calm down.

Well, what's the matter?

Andy, you can't go on that picnic.

What?

Andy, I had a vision. Danger at the picnic.

I saw it. I saw the grass, I saw the trees,

I saw you and helen.

Something terrible is going to happen if you go on that picnic.

It was all in the vision, andy.

He's not kiddin', andy, I was with him when he had it.

Andy, I am begging you.

As your friend, as your deputy, as a fellow human being,

please don't go on that picnic.

You mean to tell me that you got me up in the middle of the night,

made me stump my toe, nearly k*ll myself,

to tell me I can't go on a picnic?

That's right, andy, and if you go on that picnic, I'm...

Andy. Andy! Come on...

I'll assume no further responsibility for your safety!

Oh, hi, warren. Helen.

Hello, goober, how are you? Helen, now listen to me,

I am pleadin' with you. Please do not go on this picnic.

[Birds chirping] now, warren, andy already...

All I know is that there is danger ahead.

We don't exactly know what it is, though, do we, warren?

No, but...

Mornin', andy. Hey, andy.

Warren, what are you doing here?

Andy, andy, this is my final plea.

Look, have the picnic in your backyard,

but don't tempt the fates, andy.

Warren.

Let's go, goober.

Sure looks like a lot of food for people.

Here's a chicken leg.

Thanks.

[Sighing]

well, now, let's see.

Let's move these, yeah, blankets over,

over there, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Grunting] this basket

like that, and, uh...

This isn't gonna work. It's just not gonna work.

Let's put the thermos over there.

Ok. And, uh... Yeah, yeah.

[Grunting] now, let me get this basket in there.

(Both) whoop.

[Laughing] it's all right.

Ok? All right.

[Sighing]

take it easy now.

Come on. Andy, be careful.

Oh.

What is it?

Oh, well, it's hard to tell now.

We've got to act and we've got to act fast.

Now, I've got several plans in mind, but I'm gonna need your help.

You can count on me, warren. Yeah, me, too, boy.

All right, now, listen. Andy's gonna be going by the courthouse

in a few minutes to check out with sheriff mitchell. Right.

Right! All right, now.

Here's plan "a." Listen and listen carefully.

We are going to have to work like a team.

I mean, precision timing all the way.

Uncle floyd, I'm gonna count on you a lot in this.

Goober? Yo.

All right, now, let's work this out and here's the way it goes.

Oh, I think I'll go get some napkins.

Ok, I'll meet you back here in a few minutes. Fine.

All right, he's inside.

It takes seconds to get behind the desk.

He's behind the desk.

All right, now he's gonna make a phone call

to check out with sheriff mitchell. Stand by, uncle floyd.

Seconds for the phone call to sheriff mitchell.

, , , , , ...

Ah, wouldn't you know it?

That's right. I told him to call you

if he gets into any kind of trouble or needs anything.

Right, sheriff.

Thank you very much, and I'll do the same for you sometime.

Right, bye.

Uh, now let's see.

Uh, , , ...

Just call him, uncle floyd, please.

[Muttering] yeah.

[Phone ringing]

[clearing throat]

hello. I got a tip for you, flatfoot.

Uh, hello? Sp... Speak up, I can't hear you.

He says he can't hear me.

Now, listen carefully.

The mob's moving into mayberry today.

They're gonna knock over the bank.

To of 'em and they're all packing gnats.

Gats. Uh, gats.

Well, what do they want to rob our bank for?

We don't have that kind of money.

Uh, how about the jewelry store?

Uh, I think I got him hooked. Yeah, he's hooked.

Uh, hey, floyd, thanks for the tip.

I got a tip for you, too, floyd.

The penalty for giving false information

to a law officer is years.

What's going on over there?

[Stammering] just kidding, andy.

Uh, he's not hooked anymore.

Nice going, uncle floyd.

All right, goober, plan "b."

I'll go stall andy.

[Door closing]

well, you know what to do, warren.

Oh, sure. Oh, hi.

Come on. You got the napkins? Mmm-hmm. Thank you.

I'll see you.

Now, just take care of things here at the office

and if you get in trouble, just call sheriff mitchell.

Number's on the pad.

Don't worry, andy. You two just have a good time.

Bye.

[Engine faltering]

warren!

Andy, don't get excited. We have a licensed mechanic right here.

Goober, go fix andy's car

so he can get on the road, pronto.

Gotcha. Yo.

Now, andy, andy, you just keep calm. Goober'll fix it.

It's the carburetor.

He ought to know, andy. He's an expert.

The distributor cap's missing. Who's got it?

Search me. I'm thinkin' about that.

Now, andy, don't jump to conclusions.

Helen's right, andy. A man's innocent until proven guilty.

That's one of our basic freedoms.

Now, goober, you have another one

down at the garage, don't you?

Uh-uh. Have to send to raleigh.

It won't be here till tomorrow.

Oh, andy, isn't there something we can do?

(Warren) that's a rotten break, andy.

I mean, your day off and everything, huh?

Well, i, guess that spells {\i }fini{\i } for the picnic.

Yeah, I guess.

Thanks anyway, goober.

Sorry. I did my best.

You always do, goober.

Thank you.

Yeah, when it comes to cars,

you know what you're doin'.

Thank you.

Anybody comes in, wants somethin' done to his car,

I say, "you'd better go see goober." Thank you.

You're not using your truck, are you? No.

You don't mind if I use it? No, go right ahead.

I always say my truck's your truck.

You know, your car is broke down.

Well, now you have... [Tires screeching]

uh-oh.

Sorry, warren...

Andy? Hmm?

Do you believe in e.s.p.?

Hmm. I suppose there's something to it.

[Birds chirping]

you know, that warren really is something.

I thought something was bothering you.

Bothering me? Oh, don't be silly, andy.

I was just wondering if you believed in it.

Well, I suppose there might be something to it in rare cases,

but warren's not a rare case.

Rare bird, maybe, but not a rare case.

No.

[Both sighing]

oh, yeah.

[Whistling]

[leaves rustling]

what was that?

Hmm?

A rabbit or somethin'.

[Twigs crackling]

andy, I don't know if I believe warren or not,

but there is something out there.

Well, I'll take a look.

[Clearing throat]

won't be anything.

I don't see anything.

(Goober) dang!

[Goober groaning]

hey, andy.

Goober, what are you doing here?

Well, i... (Andy) warren!

Right here, andy.

[Grunting]

andy, whether you want to believe it or not,

you're in danger on this picnic.

So are you. (Warren) oh, andy, please.

Listen to reason, andy. Th... Th... There's danger.

I don't know where it is yet, but it's all around us.

I got this image of something shiny.

I can't make it out, but that's where the trouble's coming from, andy.

Helen, please, make him...

Warren... Listen, we're stayin',

but you're leavin'. Now go back to the office.

Andy, it's something shiny. You heard me.

[Sighing]

goober.

Bye, helen. Bye, andy.

Have a nice time. Wasn't my idea. I...

Goober!

Well, at least we ought to get a little privacy here.

Oh, I think it's cooler here, too. There's a little breeze.

Yeah.

[Birds chirping]

you over your mad, yet?

I suppose.

That warren beats everything. You know that?

Oh, well, he means well, andy.

Why don't we just forget about everything?

Yeah, ok. Here.

Hmm, all right.

[Sighing]

[sighing] oh, yeah.

You just forget about everything out here.

Hmm. So peaceful.

Everybody seems to be enjoying it.

Hmm?

Hey, andy.

Hi, andy.

We, uh, seem to have lost our way.

Goober, I told you we should have gone another way.

You stay there!

Come on, helen. Ooh.

Observation post, huh?

I told you to stay behind the leaves.

Well, you took the best branch.

Warren, are we goin' to follow them all over the place?

We're not turnin' back now. Come on.

Hey, warren. Don't that lake look nice?

Goober, we are not here to admire the wonders of nature.

We happen to be on a very important mission.

Wait a minute. What?

The lake. It's shiny, goober.

That's the missing link. Come on!

Andy! Andy! The lake. It's shiny, andy. You can't go.

Warren, warren, go back to the office.

Warren, warren.

Andy, something terrible's gonna happen to you.

Will you turn me loose?

[Helen screaming]

[coughing]

are you... Are you all right? I'm all right. Are you all right?

Uh, I think I sprained my wrist.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Andy, I didn't have nothin' to do with it.

Hold on. Now, warren said, "come out here"

and I told him, I said,

"warren, I don't want to come out here

because I'm not going to have anything to do with..."

And I said...

Well, that proves it, andy, my vision came true.

Shiny, grass, picnic, danger.

You sprained your wrist. I warned you, andy. I warned you.

(Goober) warren, I told you I didn't want to come out here.

Now, I'm telling you I ain't gonna get run around with you no more.

So you just stay away from me.

And I ain't never gonna help you order a hamburger again.

Well, I'm afraid I can't help you out there, goober.

Well, can't you get any visions about me and lydia?

No more visions, no more vibrations.

Predicting the future is to much responsibility for a mortal man.

I, uh, I'm all through with that stuff, goober.

I think that's a wise decision, warren.

Sure is.

Andy, I'm terribly sorry about spraining your wrist.

Hmm, that's ok.

I should have ordered soup though.

Oh. Oh, well, let me help you with that, andy.

Oh. Oh, no. No... No... No... No.

Andy, andy. I'll... No, I'll handle it. Warren...

How's your steak, andy?

Spilled, andy.

Waiter, check please.

It's on me, andy.

Helen.