05x08 - Chapter Eighty-Nine

Episode transcripts for the 2014 TV show "Jane The Virgin". Aired October 2014 - July 2019.
"Jane The Virgin" revolves around a devout young Latina woman, who must decide what to do after her doctor's error causes her to be artificially inseminated. Based on the Venezuelan telenova Juana La Virgen.
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05x08 - Chapter Eighty-Nine

Post by bunniefuu »

we last left our Jane saying goodbye

to Michael and telling Rafael
she loved him. Only problem...

It's just, it's too late.

I just don't trust you anymore, Jane.

NARRATOR: Also too
late on the love train?

Alba and her ex-boyfriend Jorge.

See, she married him so he
could get his green card.

Only problem: she still loved him.

I know, straight out
of a telenovela, right?

Well, imagine this.

Rogelio was starring
in the American remake

of The Passions of Santos.

And they finally sh*t the pilot.

And Petra? She almost got sh*t as well.

But J.R. saved her.

Who is it? Who did I just sh**t?

My ex-husband Milos.

NARRATOR: And the happy couple
were on the up and up, until...

I didn't e-mail Milos.

It's right here, Petra, how
you said you won't testify

against him if he gives you the hotel.

I didn't write this. I'm being set up.

NARRATOR: And then this happened.

Scary man. He was just in our room.

NARRATOR: And speaking of scary people,

Rose, aka Sin Rostro, was up to no good.

We need to move up the timeline.

- I live just down the hall, and...
- Would you like to come in?

NARRATOR: Poor Luisa. I can't watch.

But you should. So let's
see what happens next.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva
was nine years old,

she first fell in love with...


And because Jane loved love,

she also fell in love with...

historical nonfiction.

(CHUCKLES) Just kidding.

Come on, guys. You know this by now.

Romance novels.

What are you still doing up?

It's bedtime. Put the book away.

Five more minutes, please?

Nicholas is about to
propose to Francine.

He's been in love with her forever.

And finally he won her over.

You know that's not
really how it works, right?

NARRATOR: But actually, friends,

for a long time,

that is exactly how it worked for Jane.

With him.

I'm a fighter.

And him.

I'm proposing.

And even him.

I am crazy about this woman! Yeah.

And then him again.
With a different name.

I'm coming a-courtin'.

And, yep, him again, too.

All I want is to put
this ring on your finger.

NARRATOR: So, yes, friends.

Love always came easily to our Jane.

That is, until it didn't.

I just want to see how Rafael is doing.

He's completely avoiding me.

- He is.
- NARRATOR: I'll let you be the judge.

Hey! Where's your daddy?

He said I'm a big boy and
can walk to the door myself.

Hey there. Where's your daddy?

Oh, he's avoiding you.

It's so frustrating.

How long is this gonna go on?

But he's gonna come
around eventually, right?

NARRATOR: He has to, right?

But this is a telenovela!


Okay. I know.

NARRATOR: Which brings us...

Wait. What is Jane doing at Rafael's?

Remember, Jane, boundaries.

Well, at least she's not texting him.

Oh, come on.

- Oh.


JANE: I'm so embarrassed.

I made a complete fool of myself.

But it's an impossible situation.

I mean, he can't just

- cut me out of his life completely.
- I agree...

We're co-parents, you know?
What if there's an emergency?

- Well, then...
- You know, something serious

with Mateo. We got to
be able to communicate.

Can we communicate?

Let me talk.

He's a great father.

I-If there was an emergency, he'd call.

Yeah, based on how he's acting?

How can I be sure?

Hon, you're just looking
for a hole to crawl through.

NARRATOR: Better than crawling
through one of Rafael's windows.

I really think you should
back off for a while.

ROGELIO: No! d*ad?

- How could that be?

(SIGHS) Why, God, why?

Oh, no.

Who died? I-Is it your mom? Your dad?

My pilot.

NARRATOR: To be fair,

Rogelio has spent much
more time with his pilot

than with his parents lately.

What happened?

Well, I don't know.

The network passed.

It's crazy...

but I'm going to confront
those executives.

And I'm going to give
them a piece of my mind.

And I'm not going to hold back!

In telling you how much I respect you

and your opinions, because I do.

But I just don't understand
why don't you like

the future Emmy
award-winning masterpiece

that is The Passions
of Steve and Brenda?

Look, we loved the idea

of doing a big, broad telenovela.

But at the end of the day,

well, it was a little too
conventional, actually.

Let's make love and
then invade Switzerland.

They've been neutral for far too long.

It feels like a puffed-up soap opera.

NARRATOR: Your point?

In today's -show peak TV world,

it just doesn't stand out.

Viewers today want something edgy,

just a little confusing, shadowy
and dark with shocking twists.

Sci-fi elements are also big.

Right. And assassins.

Okay. Done.

- What's done?
- All of that.

I'll do it.

I will come back with a new proposal,

with every single one of
your ideas incorporated.

You don't need to pay me.

Just promise me you'll read it.

Please. This is my passion
project, as you know.

(CHUCKLES) Look, the-the
truth is, there's one more note

we haven't told you.
And this one's, um...

well, it's, it's definitely the biggest.

Whatever it is. I'll make it so.

It's about the stars.

What about us?

We actually need them to be younger.

How young are we talking?

You're six years old. It's
time to start eating broccoli.

NARRATOR: Ugh. Broccoli.

If I eat my broccoli, can
I have ice cream after?

Uh, no bargaining.

Daddy let me trade.

Oh, yeah?

How's your daddy doing?

Better than me 'cause he
doesn't have to eat broccoli.

But I mean, does he seem happy or sad?


I bet he'll bring me
some ice cream tomorrow

when he comes to school.

Oh, he's coming to school tomorrow?

For the book fair.

Oh. Good to know.

NARRATOR: Uh-oh. Looks
like Jane's wheels are spinning.

GPS VOICE: Turn right on Fremont Avenue.

Make a U-turn.

Why would I make a U-turn?

Because you need to
turn around and go home.

You have no business
driving to Mateo's school

for the book fair.

I'm serious, Jane.

You need to take your
mom's advice and back off.

You're acting cray.


Good. Now head on home.


Seriously? What are you doing?

Oh, no. You can't turn me off,
sister. You're stalking him.

You need to turn around
because you're steering

into restraining order territory.


- Hey there.
- RAFAEL (ON PHONE): Hi. Listen,

I'm at Mateo's school for the book fair,

and when I got here,
there was a problem.

What kind of problem?

He had a meltdown

and had to be taken out of class.

I think a kid said
something mean to him.

He was crying,

saying that he was a dummy.


I know.

I'm gonna talk to the teacher,

but I just, I wanted to tell you.

Uh, yeah, you know, um, I happen
to be close by, so wait for me.

I-I'll come by and talk to her, too.

Okay, sure. What's your, uh, ETA?

NARRATOR: Oh, about seconds.

I'll be there really soon.

The good news is Mateo calmed
down. He's back in class.

He told us that Simon called him a dummy

and said that he was stupid.

I know, and I spoke with Simon,
and that won't happen again.

And I'm also gonna speak
to Simon's parents as well.

Thank you. Maybe Simon was insecure

about his performance in school,
so he took it out on Mateo?

Mm, that's one possibility.

NARRATOR: But judging by
her tone, not the right one.

Look, I actually think this incident

might have stemmed from the fact

that Mateo is really
struggling with his reading.

He is quite far behind
the rest of the class.

Mateo's behind?

NARRATOR: Wow. Jane really
read that situation wrong.

Uh, so most of the
class is reading by now?

Yes, most are. But there's
nothing to worry about.

Most kids eventually catch up.

But I like to see a little
more letter recognition

and, uh, you know, a few
sight words at this point.

Okay, so what do we do? How can we help?

I wouldn't pressure him.

Just read a lot to him.

Play word games. Just engage him.

Okay. Got it.

Yes, absolutely. Thank you.

I had no idea that Mateo was behind.

Me neither.

How could we have missed this?

Well, things have
been a little... crazy.

You know, with your husband coming back

from the d*ad and all.


Look, I'm sorry for creeping
around your apartment before.

- That was...
- Oh, don't worry about it.

We should put it behind
us and focus on Mateo.

We're a good team. We can get him there.


Plus, I think it's better that we know.

You're right. We couldn't help
him if we were in the dark.

NARRATOR: Although some
people prefer being in the dark.

Okay, this is super hot,

but I have to ask:

why are we in a closet?

NARRATOR: Yeah. These
two came out a while ago.

I got new security cameras,

so, unless you want to give
the security guy downstairs

a peep show, this is
the only blind spot.

All right, so you put
cameras in your own bedroom?

I need to find out which
one of Milos's g*ons

is harassing us, so life
can just go back to normal.

ELLIE: Mommy? Where are you?

(SIGHS) sh**t. The girls are back.

They're early. I'm sorry.



- Mommy, we missed you.
- Can we sleep here tonight?

Oh, not yet, girls. You'll
stay with your daddy

until we figure out who
was out on the balcony.

Can you come, too?

To your father's? What for?

So the scary man doesn't get you.

Oh, no, I'm perfectly safe.

Look, J.R.'s here.

Girls, say hello.

It's okay. Um, I think
the girls could use

some alone time with their mommy.

I've got some things to do anyway.

NARRATOR: Yeah, she couldn't
get out of there fast enough.

Slow down, Ma.

I'm feeling better, but
I'm not ready to sprint.

NARRATOR: Can I just say it's
nice to see Xo on the mend.

Let's sit for a minute
so I can catch my breath.

So, what's going on?

Are you guys studying?

You also nervous about spending
all that time with Jorge?

I know, right? She is not
used to being turned down.

NARRATOR: No way. Can't be.

I don't know.

You got this, Mom.


I got this.

Again, way too fast.

Again, take your time.

But this is so boring.

Well, if you focus we'll be done sooner.

Now, come on, what's the first letter?

- "R."
- Great.

Now stretch it out like a rubber band.

Hey! What was that?

I'm being a black belt.

No karate-chopping the card.

Now, can you stretch it out?


Okay, I'll give you a hint.

The word rhymes with "Ted."

Come on, rhyming is fun.

You like Dr. Seuss, right?

He's got a black belt in rhyming.

Yes, karate. Hi-yah!

NARRATOR: Sorry, but you
kind of asked for it, Jane.

Okay, the word is "red."

Red, Ted, said. See how they all rhyme?

I can't do it.

Yes, you can.

You just have to believe in yourself

and keep trying, even if it's hard.


What rhymes with "sit"?

I quit!

I thought I could take
the network's notes,

but it's impossible.

How come he gets to quit?

He doesn't.

- I did.
- Well, that's ridiculous.

You're not gonna quit, Dad,
and neither are you, Mateo,

because the

aren't quitters.

But what they want is too hard.

Nothing is too hard.

Mateo, I know reading seems hard,

but when you learn to do it,
it's gonna be as fun as karate.

I promise.

And, Dad, you've worked
too hard to give up.

This isn't The Passions
of Steve and Brenda.

This is the passions of Rogelio!

You know, as hard as it seems,

we have to rise to the challenge.

Do you really think it's possible?

Of course.

So, will you write the proposal

for the new version of Steve and Brenda?


One that incorporates all of their notes

and still stars River and me,

and also younger people
who think they're the stars.

Dad, I don't think I'm
the best person for that.

Come on, who's better than
the father-daughter dream team

who got me a Paloma nomination?

NARRATOR: And no one
else would take the job.

What do you say, Jane? Will you do it?

You know what, yes.

As hard as it seems,
I will write the proposal,

because I rise to a challenge.

This is gonna be great.

NARRATOR: That's up for debate.

boundary-respecting, Jane.

well, that's just kismet.



NARRATOR: I'd say that's
impressive at your age,

even if it's make-believe.

Do what, Mom? What's wrong?

You won't screw up.

Then don't do it alone.

I'll help you guys.

And whenever your feelings
begin to take over, just...

squeeze my hand... okay?


ROGELIO: Together, we are unstoppable.

So, here's what I'm thinking, you know.

The network wants younger leads,

so the obvious solution would be to hire

the best CGI guys in
Hollywood and age me down.

Like Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button.

River can play my mother.

America's first
mother/son co-presidents.

That is definitely an... an idea.

NARRATOR: But, judging
by her tone, not the right one.

But you know, since we're spitballing,

in the book that I'm
writing, I go back and forth

between the past and the present,

with younger and older
versions of all my characters.

Yeah, flashbacks just
don't have the "wow" factor.


I'm not talking about flashbacks.

I'm talking about multiple timelines.

You and River can play Steve
and Brenda in the present,

and the two younger leads
can play you guys in the past.

We'll cut back and forth
between the past and present.

I guess it could work in a novel,

but I don't want this
to be a boring book.

No offense.

Some taken.

And it's not gonna
be like a boring book.

It's gonna be more like that
TV show This Is Us.

Oh, I love This Is Us.

And I'm good friends
with Justin Hartley.

ROGELIO: You know, I am also a big star,

so I know how hard it is to go out

and constantly get noticed,

and have people talk to
you like they know you.

Justin, right?

Rogelio De La Vega.

Just wanted to say hello,
one celebrity to another.

You know, I find a nice,
full-body wax in advance

really helps a tan soak in.

Sugar wax or resin?

Maybe Hartley can make a cameo.

right. Hartley doesn't do cameos.

I'm in. Let's get started
on the proposal.

Oh, actually, I have to
be at Raf's in minutes

for Mateo's study session.

Why don't we get
together tomorrow night,

and I'll give you a rough draft?

Okay. Well, go forth. And remember...

you're training the third generation

of De La Vega geniuses.


Uh, bat.

Uh, "T" sounds like "tuh."

- Mommy.
- Hmm?

What rhymes with bat?

Bat, cat, sat. Okay, your turn.

Skip my turn.

No, come on, Mr.
Sweetface, you can do it.

Just one rhyme, and then
we'll take a break, okay?


What other word sounds like heart?



- Art?
- Art!

- Yes!
- Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

We have a winner!

And fart.

Fart! Yes, yes!

Heart, art, fart.

Farty poopy pants.

Well, that doesn't
rhyme, but farty party.

And goopy poopy.

And penis-teenis.

Not really a word, but it still rhymes.

And now is a good time to take a break.

- Cookie?
- Go ahead.

So, maybe tomorrow we
can... grab breakfast.

Just, um, us. And talk.

I work the morning shift
tomorrow. Can you do lunch?

Can't. I have to get ready
for the open house on Fuller.

(WHISPERS): We'll find another time.

XIOMARA: When, exactly?

It was January,

and I'd been working at the
gift shop for three months

when Alba walked in.

In English, Ma.

(SIGHS) Yes.

Uh, Mrs. Cohen was a mean old lady,

but Jorge

actually got her to smile.

You have to hear this. Magical.

Clearest ocean sound
you ever heard. Come on.

ALBA: He charmed us both that day.

Good job.

Jorge, how often are you
intimate with your wife?

Two to three times a week.


NARRATOR: That's what I said.

Alba, what would you say
is Jorge's greatest flaw?

His pride.

He won't admit it,

but last week, he loaded
the dishwasher wrong

and broke my favorite dish.

He's a very prideful man.

Great answer, Ma. Very specific.

You guys are really nailing it.

NARRATOR: Or finger-nailing it.


- Oh, hey, hon.
- Hey.

We're just finishing
up our study session.

- Oh.
- How did yours go?

Really good, actually.

Uh, turns out, flatulence is key

to maintaining Mateo's
interest. Now we know.


And Raf and I are making
plans to get together.

And it was his idea.


That's really great, but be careful.

Oh, I've been careful,
Ma, my whole life.

I don't want to be careful,
I want to be with Rafael.

I love him and he loves me, I know it.

That doesn't just go away.

PETRA: Stay over tonight?

NARRATOR: Plus side of having
a psycho on the loose at the hotel?

The girls are sleeping
at their dad's again, so...

maybe come back, or
I'll come to you and then...


I-I'll call you back.

NARRATOR: What language is that?

Let me check. Oh, it is Czech.

Oh, sorry. You don't speak Czech.

Hurry, Petra.

Looks like our psycho's
been caught red-handed.

Or, I guess, red-feathered.

Call the police, now.

We're back!

Oh, my girls, I'm so happy you're home.

So are we.

We missed our silk sheets.

And our lavender bubble baths.

(WHISPERS): Daddy's isn't organic.

So, Pammy the Parrot?

- Really?
- Yes, the bird was compromised.

NARRATOR: Total cuckoo.

She denies it, but her time
cards put her at the hotel

when each of the incidents happened.

I had her arrested.

I guess you could say,
she clipped her wings.

Put her in a cage, on
account of her fowl play...

- Yeah, but enough with the bird.
- Noted.

The point is, the danger
is gone, thank God.

- On to the next disaster.
- ANNA: Mommy!

Can we order room service?

Of course. Whatever you want.

The world is your oyster today.

BOTH: Ooh, oysters.

You know who else loves oysters? J.R.

And she's coming over
for dinner tonight.

All right, say goodbye to your daddy.

Come on.


I want to spend time
with you alone, Jane.

Just the two of us.

NARRATOR: Get back
to the telenovela, Jane.

Telenovela, telenovela, telenovela.


Okay, the big epic gesture.

Think, Jane.


Hey, Dad.

Jane, my sensational scribe.

Just wanted to check in and
make sure you got my text

about how important
the romantic gesture is.

- Yep, I got it.
- Good.

Because it has to be the
thing that changes everything.

So think epic. Huge! Monumental.


But also make it small and personal.

Huge but small. Got it.

Of course you do.

Now, go forth and write,
my talented daughter.

- Oops.

You're also my talented daughter.

Bye, Dad.



NARRATOR: Ah, her own romantic hero.

Talk about worlds colliding.

Jane knew exactly what she had to do.

I remembered where you
said you hide the keys

from when I helped you
stage that apartment.

I know tomorrow's open
house is a big deal,

so I thought I'd help again.

And I wanted to make a gesture

to say I love you, Rafael, so much.

And I want to remind
you of what we have,

and how we can't just give up on...


Jane, this is my boss, Garret.

Our clients weren't available tomorrow,

so we're showing them
the property today.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Let
me just get out of your hair.

Do you have romantic
dates in all the houses

we're trying to sell?

No, sir, I-I promise that I would...

You and your girlfriend need to
leave. I'll take it from here.

- I am so sorry.
- What the hell were you thinking?

I thought that you were gonna be alone,

and I just wanted to make
a grand romantic gesture

- because there was an opening.
- What opening?

Well, we were texting,
and you invited me out alone.

Because I wanted to talk about
Mateo without him overhearing.

NARRATOR: Guess Mateo isn't the only one

reading things wrong these days.

I'm so sorry. I misunderstood.

I-I'll fix this.

- What's your boss's name?
- Stop, stop, stop.

It's not for you to fix.

Maybe I wasn't clear before,

but let me be perfectly clear now:

breakfast was never
supposed to be a date.

And today? I was just
trying to do my job.

And when I said that we're a team,

I didn't mean romantically.

I am trying to be a good co-parent.

But you and I?

Jane, we are through.

So you need to move on.

NARRATOR: We last left Jane
having made an epic gesture,

which turned out to be an epic failure.

Just mortifying, for both of us.

Oh, I feel horrible. I don't
know what to do, Mom.

Well, you don't really have a choice.

Leave him alone.

But I love him.

And he's making a mistake.

Can you even hear yourself?

Just because you love someone

doesn't mean you get to have them.

Imagine if the roles were reversed

and you were a man acting like this.

NARRATOR: Ooh, yes, let's.


Oh, come on.

I just wanted to say hi!

Maybe a quick peek?

I'm never giving up!

Yeah, okay. I-I guess
when you put it that way,

- I was a little...
- Creepy?


I know how hard it is,

but you can't force someone
to feel something they don't.

I just don't believe,
in my heart, that it's over.

You don't have to believe it,
but you have to accept it.

You're right.

I'll leave him alone.



NARRATOR: Okay, friends, let's do this.

All right. Tell me about
your husband's family.

Well, uh, he has an older sister,

and he's very close with...

God. He's always been

a big presence in my wife's life.

She loves...

Spicy cheese puffs.

I think they are disgusting, but
Jorge can't get enough of them.

I don't think there's anyone else...

Who I could work with
all day, and live with,

and still feel like I never
have enough time with.

And she can read me so well.
She's not afraid to call me out

on my stubbornness, like when
I load the dishwasher wrong

and won't admit it.

And she's the most
generous person I know.

She always puts her feelings aside,

even when other people
are just being prideful.

I never imagined

I would be lucky enough
to have a wife like her.

I cannot wait to read what you wrote.

Should I be prepared
to have my mind blown,

my socks knocked off?

- Oh, uh...
- Oh!

Both! Should I read the proposal aloud

to maximize dramatic impact?

I do a great Brenda.

Actually, I haven't written it yet.


I'm so sorry.

It's just been a crazy day.

What happened? I
thought you were writing.

I was. But then I decided to
make a grand gesture to Rafael

which went horribly wrong.

So you just blew it off?

I'm so sorry. I'll write
it by tomorrow, I promise.

Jane, this show is everything to me.

My entire American
career is riding on it.

The passions of Rogelio.

That's what you said.

I know.

I'm so sorry, Dad.

I'm just really disappointed.

PETRA: I feel bad.

I wish we could go out to eat,

but I don't want to be
too far from the girls.

No, it's understandable.

- It's not like we're slumming it here.

I'm just glad we can
finally get back to normal.

Me, too.

- Oh, my God. Get down! Run!
- What? What?!

I got to get to the girls.

Oh, thank God.




Mrs. Solano? There's
something you should see.

Yes. There's a sn*per.

Did you see them on
your cameras? Who is it?

This is from one of the new
cameras on your balcony.

Oh, my God.

It was my daughters?

I want you to know I am not angry.

I just need to know what happened, okay?

We wanted you and J.R. to break up.

So you pointed a laser at her head?

We were trying to scare her away.

What about the scary
person you saw in your room?

That was us.

Anything else?

We sent fake e-mails from you to Milos.

Why would you do all this?

To save you from her.

Who? J.R.?

She's a bad guy, Mommy.

We do g*n drills in school
in case bad guys come in.

And we saw her with a g*n.

And that guy all bloody.

You weren't asleep? You saw that?

NARRATOR: Looks like we
all read the situation wrong.

Oh, girls.

JANE:I'm so sorry.

You're right.

I really messed up.

And I hate the idea that
my terrible judgment

screwed things up for
you professionally.

And I love you.

And if you'll give me a chance,
I promise I'll make it up to you.

Starting with this.

It's my Ro-morse basket.

Thank you.

I really appreciate this.

Consider yourself forgiven.

You can make me work a
bit harder, I deserve it.

Well, you feel bad enough.

Plus, you made a
perfect Ro-morse basket

without the help of a props department.

I know how hard that is.

Well, can we please get back to work

on the proposal? I have some ideas.

- I would love that.
- Great.

First of all, I really
think the story should be

just as romantic for the old
people as it is for the young.

NARRATOR: Speaking of
romantic old people...


Actually, I'm sorry.

But can we just stop referring
to them as old people?

How about "slightly less young people"?

NARRATOR: Note taken.

Now back to our slightly
less young people.




NARRATOR: Looks like Alba
was reading Jorge right all along.


those slightly less young
people really are romantic.

I like it.

- Hi-yah!
- Oh. Whatcha doing?

Practicing for my belt test.

I'm the best. Where's Daddy?

Oh, he'll be here soon, Mr. Sweetface.

Actually, I should text Raf.

Make sure he picks up Mateo
here instead of Abuela's.

(STAMMERS) Do you think
that's a good idea?

It's a legit parenting issue. I promise.

I'm not just looking
for a reason to text him.

Okay, but this time allow me

to assist you with
your writing assignment.

The text must be informative

and not overbearing.

think we can all agree

is another word for "creepy."

Another emoji.

Even after what happened.

Okay, I rarely say
this, but less is more.

Are you okay?

I just keep thinking if I'd
done things differently...

Well, you can't change the past.

You can only move
forward into the future.

And who knows what that will look like.

That's it. The future.

- I know, it's full of possibility.
- And it's how

we make the slightly less
young people more intriguing.

What if our young leads' story

is in present day and you and River

are living in the future?

I like it, but is it big enough?

Let me finish. In the future,

- in outer space.

On Mars!

It's brilliant.

NARRATOR: And also
just a little confusing.


We can call it...

This Is Mars.

I have to call Justin
Hartley immediately.

NARRATOR: Also feeling triumphant?

I've never seen a man so smitten.

Jorge barely took his
eyes off you all afternoon.

Oh, did you tuck Mateo in?

He rhymed two more words.

They both rhyme with "tush"
but still progress, right?


Ugh, it's just...

of all the things Mateo
could struggle with.

The fact that it's reading
is really hard for me.

I'm a writer, you know?

I wanted him to love it.

Oh, Ma...



- Oh, sorry.

You are just making me
so emotional. (SNIFFLES)

NARRATOR: Speaking
of emotional mothers...

They saw everything.

I can't believe it. Of course
the girls are terrified of me.

(GROANS) And you had
that poor parrot arrested.

The bird's been set free.

Turns out she was
learning Czech so she could

connect with the girls better
when they were at the Kids Club.


What is it?

What's wrong?

I love you, J.R.

But my children are my priority.

- Of course.
- And right now, they're traumatized.

And they're scared to be around you.

Which is why I need to end things.

- I know this isn't fair.

None of this is your fault.

No, it is my fault, actually.

Since we got back
together, I haven't been

putting in any effort with the twins.

I mean, the parrot
has been trying harder

to bond with them.

Let me try, at least.

It might not work.

I know.

But you fought for us.

Time and time again.

Now it's my turn, let me show
the girls I am not a bad guy.

I want that more than anything.

But I have to be a mother first.


And if it seems like I am
hurting the girls in any way,

I'll walk away.

PETRA: So, J.R. and
I are working it out.

But we need to consider
therapy for the girls.

To really... address the trauma.

Of course. I agree.

NARRATOR: Geez. How many
stalkers does this lady have?

Thank you for being so supportive.

NARRATOR: Oh, no. It's his stalker.

Please don't be Jane. Anybody but Jane.


Hey, my favorite person in
the world. Are you almost home?

Ugh, no, still at the laundromat.

NARRATOR:He definitely
has some dirty laundry.

BOBBY: Just folding
that t*nk top you got me.

Love it, girl.

Hey. Have you thought any
more about asking Rafael?

If I can meet the kids? I don't know.

I want to, but we have
such a rocky history.

Girl, don't doubt yourself.

You are sober as a judge.
We go to yoga every day.

You are ready to be a loving aunt

to your nieces and nephew.

You're right. I'm gonna call him.


Oh, sh**t. Got to go, laundry's done.
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