♪ Here's the story ♪
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
♪ Like their mother ♪
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
♪ Till the one day when ♪
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
♪ That this group ♪
♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
I won it! I won it!
What happened?
What is all the excitement?
GREG: What's going on
here? We were playing bas...
Look what I won, Mommy!
Look at that! Oh!
Hey! That's some trophy!
Look at that. Look, Daddy!
How did you win it?
For being the best jack
player at the playground.
( all clamoring encouragement)
Congratulations!
That's very good.
That's great!
Oh, it's so pretty.
Nice going, Cindy.
Yeah. It's really neat.
PETER: Wow.
MIKE: Looks like we're going
to have to build a trophy case
for all the Brady
trophies, right?
PETER: Hey, Bobby,
where are you going?
Now everybody's got
a trophy... except me.
I'll never win at anything.
Hi.
CAROL ( chuckles): Hi.
What are you doing in there?
Thinking.
You want to do some talking?
Okay.
You want to come out,
or should we come in?
I don't think there's
anything you can do.
Well, you never can tell.
Why don't you try us, honey?
Well... well,
it's... it's nothing.
Oh, listen, if it
takes that long
to say it's nothing,
it's something.
Bobby, if you don't tell
us, we can't help you.
Everybody's won
a trophy except me.
Even the girls.
But, Bobby, they're
older than you.
Well, Cindy isn't.
And boy, if she can win
one and I can't, I'm nothing.
Well, son, you know, you
haven't entered that many contests.
Sure, I have.
The last one was the
swimming race at the Y.
I came in fourth.
Well, I think
that's pretty good.
There was only
four guys in the race.
Look, how are you
going to win at anything
if you don't keep trying?
Your father's right, you know.
You really think so?
I'm positive.
Just pick something
you're good at...
Just one thing...
And stick with it.
And then I'll bet you'll win.
One thing, huh?
( laughing)
Triple jump!
You can't win now.
You want to play another game?
No. Dumb game!
( giggling)
Okay, come on.
You got it!
I can't believe it!
That's a cinch.
Anybody can do it from there.
If it's so easy,
let's see you do it.
Yeah.
Hurry up.
You can have all of them.
Okay.
That was a good try, Bobby.
Do it again.
Hey, where you going?
I thought we were going
to sh**t some baskets.
I thought so, too, but
Bobby doesn't think so
and it's his ball.
So what?
So I b*at him at free throws
and now he won't let us use it.
Dad, Mom, can we
see you for a minute?
What's up?
Well, we've all
talked it over and...
All of us except Bobby.
Yeah, except Bobby, and
we think you should know.
Know what?
Well, Bobby's
been a real stinker.
Greg, you know I
don't like that word.
It's the only word
that really fits, Mom.
Well, what's the problem?
Everything. No matter
what any of us are doing...
Well, he's just a real stinker.
Marcia, I just told Greg
I don't want to hear that word.
I'm sorry, Mom, but
that's what he's been.
He blows his cork every time
he doesn't win at something.
Well, that's it.
Bobby's still upset.
What's he upset about?
Well, all the rest of you kids
have won trophies for
one thing or another, and...
Bobby's the only one who hasn't
and it's got him down.
Gee, I never thought about that.
Me either.
It's really got him bugged, huh?
Sure. That's the reason
he's being such a... a...
Stinker. Stinker.
Stinker.
Well, I hope he wins
at something soon.
It's the only thing
he seems to have on his mind.
( sighs)
ANNOUNCER: It's the last
game of the World Series
and it's up to Bobby
Brady... Two out in the ninth.
The series is all tied up.
Can he do it? Can he pull it out
of the bag for the Dodgers?
( fans cheering and applauding)
Bobby Brady did it!
He hit his fifth home run
of the game... A
World Series record!
The Dodgers win!
Bobby Brady, we present you
with this trophy
for the greatest performance
on the baseball field
in the history of the game.
That was nothing.
Wait till next season.
ANNOUNCER: Can
Bobby Brady do it?
Can he come from last
place with a hole in his boat,
not enough gas and
only a hundred yards left?
Bobby Brady is making his move.
He did it! It's fantastic!
Believe it or not,
Bobby Brady won!
MAN: Bobby Brady,
congratulations.
You're the world's
greatest speedboat driver.
Sure looks that way.
( wind howling)
ANNOUNCER: The last
jumper of the day is Bobby Brady.
Here he comes.
He takes off like a bird.
He's flying...
flying... still flying...
He broke the world's record!
Bobby Brady wins!
MAN: Bobby Brady, we
present you with this trophy
for being the greatest
ski jumper who ever lived.
I just got to get a trophy.
I just got to get one.
All right, all you
kiddies out there,
this is Kartoon King
reminding you to be sure and
wash your ears good tonight
before you go to bed
because in case you dream,
you can hear what
you're dreaming about.
( laughing)
You get it?
You can hear what you're...
Oh, I made that up myself.
Oh, and I want to remind you
be sure and tune in tomorrow
to Kartoon King
because I've got a real
wonderful announcement to make.
A big special surprise.
Well, so long, kids.
( doorbell ringing)
Bye-bye, now.
Bobby, can you catch that?
I can't leave the kitchen.
( show theme playing)
( turns off TV)
If you don't time
noodles just right,
you've got a pot
full of rubber bands.
( doorbell ringing)
Hi.
Hi.
Your mother home?
No.
Your father home?
No. What do you want?
I'm selling magazines.
Magazines? What kind?
All kinds.
You want to buy a subscription?
No.
Okay.
Boy!
You sure don't know
how to sell anything.
I do, too.
Then how come
you give up so easy?
Why waste my time on you?
I'm trying to win a contest.
Contest? What kind?
For selling the
most subscriptions.
What's the prize?
First prize is a
college education,
but I'd rather have the
second prize: a minibike.
Then there's this trophy.
All you have to do to win
is sell dumb old magazines?
Uh-huh. And I'm going to win.
Oh, yeah?
Bet I could sell more
subscriptions than you.
Bet you couldn't.
I'll prove it.
How do I get in?
You got to send
in an application.
Well, where do I get one?
Out of one of these magazines.
You want to have one?
Sure.
Thanks.
That'll be cents.
Guess what I just bought.
Whatever it is, I would
gladly exchange it
for a plaster screw.
I'm going to have to go
down to the hardware store.
What's that?
A subscription to a magazine.
Another magazine? Carol,
this place is beginning
to look like a dentist's office.
Well, I'm sorry.
I just couldn't
resist the salesman.
Oh, really, Carol... hmm.
Yeah, he's, uh, got beautiful
brown hair and big green eyes
and he's four feet three.
The only person I know
who's four feet three is...
Bobby.
Bobby?
Yeah, he's in a
magazine-selling contest.
We do know an
awful lot of people.
You mean, between
the two of us, we could...
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
( chuckling)
I really enjoyed lunch, Cathy.
Yeah, I'll have
to get the recipe
for that salad dressing.
Listen, Cathy, um...
I'd love to ask
you a little favor.
Yeah. Well, you know,
Bobby is selling subscriptions
to a magazine and...
Yeah, next Saturday's great.
I'll meet you on the
tee at : sharp.
Oh, uh, George...
Listen, I might just give you
two strokes aside this time.
Yeah, yeah, that's
right, two strokes aside.
Yeah. By the way, George...
my son Bobby is
selling magazines...
You, too?
How many subscriptions
did you take?
Just one.
For the sports magazine.
That's all I could afford.
I ordered three magazines.
Three? Where'd
you get the money?
Dad raised my allowance.
Marcia, will you
lend me a dollar?
Lend me cents.
What for?
What else? I'm going to order
one of Bobby's magazines.
I'm taking two subscriptions
to the same magazine.
Why would you take
two subscriptions
to the same magazine?
Guess Bobby's a good salesman.
CAROL: Alice?
Yes, Mrs. Brady?
I'm very angry with you.
You are? What did I do?
Really, Alice, six
subscriptions from Bobby?
Oh, that. I'm sorry, Mrs. Brady.
It's all I could afford.
Oh, Alice...
Bobby?
Yeah?
Can I trade one of
my comic magazines
for a beauty magazine?
Okay.
What are you doing?
Straightening out my orders.
Boy, am I a salesman.
Wait till I tell Mom and Dad
I sold magazines to
a lot of their friends:
Mrs. Jackson and Mr. Morton...
They know that.
How?
Because they told
all of them that...
Well, they just know.
They told all of them what?
Nothing.
I think I hear
Marcia calling me.
They told all of them what?
Well, don't you look pretty?
Oh, thanks, Alice.
We should be home fairly early.
MIKE: Carol!
I'm coming, dear.
Now, listen, Alice,
if you need us,
the Baxter's number
is in the book, okay?
Okay. Good night, dear.
Good night. Have fun.
Honey, we're minutes late.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
Mom, Dad, these
subscriptions belong to you.
I don't understand.
You called up all your
friends and told them
to buy subscriptions from me.
( sighs)
Well, I suppose that's true.
But you sold the
magazines to them.
No, I didn't.
You did, cause you don't think
I can win anything on my own.
Oh, Bobby, yes, we do.
I'll win something on my own,
or else I won't win at all!
( sighs)
( sighs)
You know, Mike, I... I
think we made a mistake.
Well, honey, parents
can be human, too.
KARTOON KING: Okay, all you
kids out there in my Kartoon Kingdom,
who likes ice cream?
Now, if you do, shout, "me!"
Me!
What's your favorite flavor?
Strawberry.
Oh. Well, everybody who
said chocolate, raise your hand.
Chocolate?
( blows raspberry)
Oh, no matter.
Whether you like
chocolate or what flavor,
you like ice cream,
and you are going to enter
our contest of eating ice cream.
Now, that means that we're
looking for the boy or the girl
who can eat ice cream
faster than anybody else.
I can eat it fast.
( chuckling): What fun!
And the winner will receive my
Kartoon King golden scoop trophy
plus all the ice cream you
can eat for a whole yummy year.
( laughing)
Wow. A whole year?
Now, the first
six kids out there
who call me here at the station
are going to get picked for
our great dee-licious lick-off.
Ha-ha! Here's the
telephone number.
Are you ready, kids?
Yeah.
Listen.
- .
And if that's a toll
call, it's still - .
Get on those phones
and make 'em hum.
( hums goofy tune)
You like it, oh?
( theme music playing) (
whispering): six... one... six... one.
Five... five... five...
six... one... six... one.
Kartoon King Show?
My name is Bobby Brady,
and can I eat ice cream fast.
Come on, Bobby, honey.
We're going to be late.
GREG: Come on!
Hurry up, everybody!
Good luck, Bobby!
JAN: Yeah! Have a good time!
You'll win.
You can out-lick them, Bobby!
You'll do it, Bobby!
JAN: You sure can!
Don't worry. I'll win.
( all shouting encouragement)
Have a good time!
STAGE MANAGER: Seconds.
Don't worry.
My-my water.
Take-take my water.
Oh, my scepter.
Bring me my scepter.
Thank you. Ten seconds.
Ten seconds? Whew!
Ew, yuck! Oh!
Oh, well, that's okay, honey.
Good luck, honey.
( trumpet fanfare plays)
Hi, there, boys and girls
out in Kartoon Kingdom.
It's time for our
ice-cream-eating contest.
You're going to have a
lot of fun today, I know.
And the one who finishes
his dish first is going to win
this great big Kartoon
King golden scoop trophy.
What fun!
Ha-ha! How about
that, kids, huh?
Well, now,
and for one whole
y-u-u-u-mmy year,
all the ice cream
the winner can eat.
Okay, kids, are we ready?
Are we ready?
All right, then.
On your mark.
Get ready, get set and...
Hold it just a minute.
Where'd you get those spoons?
No spoons allowed
in this contest.
Ha-ha. No, sir.
Right, kids?
Ha-ha! Oh, yeah.
Well, no spoons allowed
in this contest at all.
Why, it isn't any fun eating
ice cream with a spoon.
How are we supposed to eat it?
Well, now, that's
a good question...
and I've got a good answer:
With your mouth.
Ha-ha-ha! With your mouth.
Right, kids? Ha-ha!
All right, here we go, then.
Everybody ready?
Get on your mark.
Get ready.
Get set.
Get ready and...
Oh, hold it, hold it, hold it.
I forgot again.
And hands behind
your backs, everybody.
That's it.
All the way behind
your backs. That's it.
Put your hands...
that's good. All right.
I think we're ready now.
Shh. Shh. Shh.
Are you ready? Here we go.
On your mark. Get ready.
Hands behind your back.
Get set.
Hold it just a minute.
I really forgot
something this time. Oh.
( chuckling)
Look at this. Oh.
Oh, and look at this.
Oh, look.
Isn't that beautiful?
What, oh.
That looks just good
enough to eat, doesn't it?
Oh. Ah, yes.
Oh, isn't that great?
All right, then.
All right now, kids,
are you all ready?
Are you ready?
All right, here we go, then.
On your marks.
Get ready.
All your hands behind your back?
Good. Get set.
Go!
( show theme playing)
Get in there now.
Let's go!
Yeah.
Hold it! Hold it!
We have a winner.
Wow, hey!
You are some eater, huh?
You're all mouth.
Right, kids?
( chortling)
I lost... again.
CAROL: Hey, that's strange.
Looks like everybody's
out of the house.
BOBBY: They didn't want
to stay home to see a loser.
MIKE: Now, that will do, Bob.
Anybody home?
Gee, I wonder where
everybody went.
Alice?
Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise!
Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise!
ALL: Surprise! Surprise!
( all shouting)
JAN: Congratulations, Bobby!
GREG: Congratulations! Hey,
Bobby, you looked great on the TV!
Yeah!
That was great!
Don't you know I lost?
Didn't you watch?
We know. We saw the show.
Then what are you
congratulating me for?
Well, we've got this for you.
A trophy?
What for?
Read what's on it.
"To our brother Bobby
"for trying harder
than anyone we know.
"We're proud of him.
Greg, Marcia, Peter,
Jan and Cindy."
You really proud of me?
ALL: Yes!
Boy, this is the best
trophy in the world.
Can we start the party now
before the ice cream melts?
Ice cream?
Yecch.
Well, we managed to
survive another crisis.
That should take
care of the trophies
around here for a while.
There's one more
I'd like to contribute
to the household
collection, Mr. Brady.
Hey, Alice, that's a beauty.
Where'd you win that?
High school.
Hey, let me see.
"Westdale High School. ..."
I can't make out the date.
I know.
It was easier before I
used the steel wool on it.
Let's see.
"To Alice Nelson. First place."
School modern dance contest?
Hey, Alice, that's great.
Why didn't you tell us you
were such a good dancer?
Well, actually, I
didn't know it myself.
But you'd be surprised
at the moves you make
when the elastic breaks
in your gym bloomers.