01x03 - Translate This

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

[screaming]

Meteors are sh**ting stars.

We shouldn't be running.
We should be making wishes!

-I wish for a pony.
-I wish you'd take cover!

Ah!

How come your wish came true?

Should I use
my meteor defence system?

You have
a meteor defence system?

I have them
for all sorts of junk.

Wildfires, people trying
to read my thoughts.

Start with the meteor one.

"People trying to read
my thoughts" is the same,

but with tinfoil trim.

-Someone left this at my house.
-Yeah. The mailman.

-It's a letter.
-[sniffs] A letter, huh?

I don't know.
Paper folded over itself.

What's it hiding?
What's it hiding?

[gasps]

Sticks, you've been nominated
for an Awardy Award.

They need a better name
for that thing.

Ooh, let me see!

-Oh, wait, I can't read.
-Give me that.

"In honour of saving
our village,

the mayor cordially
invites you to the Awardies."

"Conveniently, you may also
bring your four closest pals."

Sorry, Comedy Chimp.

[sighs]

Now, where was I?

"The Awardies will be
at the mayor's mansion."

"You'll dine on elegant food

and mingle with elegant guests."

"After which the Awardy Award
will be awarded to the winner,"

-which could be you!
-I can't make it.

-What? Why not?
-Well, you know...

I'm slammed this week. See?

Tomorrow and Wednesday,
rummage through garbage.

Thursday, get tetanus shot.
Rummage through garbage.

-I'm booked solid!
-It's the honour of a lifetime.

Yeah, you might even win
a shiny trophy.

You love shiny things.

I do love shiny things.

But... no, no. Uh-uh.

Sticks, are you afraid to go?

Afraid? No. Of course not.

No way. Uh-uh. Nope.

-A little.
-There's nothing to fear.

Look at me. I'm a feral badger.
I'll embarrass myself.

-Who cares what people think?
-Yeah.

Everyone at these parties
is a windbag anyway.

What a robust moustache
you have, Colonel Grumpkin.

Why thank you,
Madam Stinkbottom.

[laugh]

Don't worry. You'll be fine.
I'll teach you to be a lady.

A lady? That's the thing
that holds garbage, right?

No. A lady is a polite,
sophisticated member of society.

And you can be that. Lesson one,
don't discuss garbage.

-I'm out.
-Come on! You can do this!

Hmm. OK, I'll try.

Great! A proper lady
requires an escort for the gala.

Why do I even bother
with you guys?

No.

Please? I don't wanna embarrass
myself in front of fancy folk!

Ugh, fine.
But I'm not wearing pants.

Thank you. Thank you!

If you want to be a lady,
you'll have to train hard.

-You up for it?
-Yes!

I only have one question.

Can I take this snail with me?

When meeting someone new,
start with a compliment.

Try saying something nice
about their perfume.

[sniffs]

You don't stink.

And go!

This is my male consort.

If you don't like him,
I'll knock you out.

No, Sticks. Ladies don't fight.

When in doubt, pinkies out.

One, two, step. One, two, turn.
One, two, step.

One, two, dip.

Why is the music controlling us?

I'm not your puppet,
music master.

I'm not your puppet!

Yeah, I think she's ready.

[chamber music]

It's my pleasure to introduce
the Lady Sticks and her escort,

Sir Sonic of Hedgehog.

Go ahead. You can do it.
Start with a compliment.

[sniffs] What an elegant scent.

Oh!

Finally, some chow!

Asparagus crostini?
Hempseed quiche?

Goat cheese
with red radicchio spread?

The hoity-toity stiffs
love these tiny nibbles.

[shocked cry]

Uh-oh. Gotta go.

Ugh! More like goat cheese
in a red crud-icchio spread.

[raucous laughter]

Dear chap, what a marvellously
comical witticism.

Uh... red crud-icchio spread?

[raucous laughter]

Sir, you have the audacity
to say what we're all thinking.

-You simply must join us.
-Me?

OK!

Red crud-icchio spread.

[riotous laughter]

You seem prepared for winter.

-That's some healthy blubber!
-Well, I never!

-Sticks!
-What? It was a compliment.

It's not like I said
she wasn't prepared for winter.

Welcome to the Awardy Awards,

where we award an Awardy Award
for Award-winning service.

Tonight, one of you nominees
will be awarded

your very own Awardy Award.

That's it,
I'm firing my speechwriter.

Check out that ridiculous hat.

That, sir, is the official hat
of the Jackalope Lodge,

of which I am president.

But upon closer inspection,
it does look asinine.

[laughter]

-What is this?
-It's your pre-salad,

post-soup, mid-appetizer,
post-post cocktail

tertiary thimble fork.

Excuse me. Pardon me, pardon me.
Evil genius coming through.

Move it, shell-boy.

-Eggman? How did you...
-Get nominated?

Let's just say I had
a loyal base of... supporters.

Finally, a use
for my ballot-stuffing robot!

You look familiar.
Do I know you?

Start with a compliment!

You have healthy hindquarters!

Why, thank you! I just started
taking spin classes.

[slurps]

See that, Shelly? That's how
a lady slurps soup from a bowl.

[slurps]

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're ready to announce
this year's winner.

And the Awardy goes to...

Leroy the Turtle!

Yes! Yahoo!
Score one for Leroy!

Leroy the Turtle?
That award was mine!

Something smells fishy here.

I have irritable bowl syndrome.

[growls]

If you won't give me the award,
I'll take it!

With my ballot-stuffing robot!

Stuffer Bot,
stuff their ballots!

This is not quite as menacing
as I'd hoped. Minions, attack!

[screaming]

Sticks, get him!

A lady doesn't fight.

That's how I know you!

Sticks, we could really
use some help!

No! Must... remain... ladylike!

That's it.
I'm sick of being proper.

Time to get primal!

Yah!

Give us a pound, dear chap.

Eat garbage!

I'll be back. And next time
I'll bring more ballots.

More ballots!

Leroy, you may have
won the Awardy,

but I think we can
all agree that, today,

I was the real hero.

Yes. But I won the award.

Gimme the shiny!

Stay cool
and keep rocking that bow tie.

[laughter]

Thanks for saving our skins,
Sticks.

I guess it isn't always proper
to be proper.

Just following
the old instincts!

Can you teach me how to do that?

-Sure!
-Argh!