01x06 - Fortress of Squalitude

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

[Knuckles] Yeah!
Who's gonna take it downtown?

Knuckles, that's who.

Gonna pour Sonic a hurt tonic.

And the pain
is gonna be chronic.

OK, we get it.

Tails.

You flip it.
I'm not sure I trust this guy.

[groans]

Heads.

[growls] Lucky.

[grunts]

[rattling]

Don't give me that look.

[grunts]

One-nothing, Sonic.

Oh, come on! You saw
the wind blew that, right?

[grunts]

What?

You gotta factor in
bird migration.

That's Gopher Ball .

[groans]

[grunts]

[groans]

[grunts]

[breathes deeply]
That's totally unfair.

Maybe you need
to work on your swing.

You kidding me? This has
nothing to do with my swing.

It has everything
to do with luck.

[groans]

[grunts]

Grrr!

Grrrrr!

Knuckles,
I see you're upset, but--

Don't try to get me
to talk about my feelings.

I was gonna try to get you
to stop k*lling my grass.

Sonic the Luck Monkey beat me
in Gopher Ball by getting lucky.

So you want to talk
about your feelings?

I don't. I just wanna yell.

We all get into a slump
now and then.

I'm not in a slump.

Really? How many times have you
lost to Sonic this week?

I said
I don't want to talk about this.

Maybe there's a disturbance
in the universe's luck balance.

That could happen?
Stupid universe.

You need to burn through
the rest of this losing streak

by bringing yourself bad luck
as fast as you can

to speed up
shifting the luck balance

back the way it was
before this happened.

Yeah, that's right.
You heard me.

Shift the universe's
luck balance? Really?

I am so there.

I can't believe I never
thought of this before. [grunts]

[groans]

When the universe's
luck balance shifts against you,

get it all over with as quickly
as possible to shift it back.

It's one of those things.

When you hear it you're like,
"Duh! That's so obvious."

[groans]

Plus it plays to my strengths
of taking horrible...

...painful...

[crash!]

...brutal punishment.

[crash!]

Agh! I can almost feel my luck
changing already!

Oh, man, Knuckles. You OK?

Am I OK?
Are you OK, you mean?

Or are you getting too nervous

about the Gopher Ball beat-down
headed your way?

[wheezes]

Give me a minute.

It's hard to trash-talk
with a punctured lung.

Looks like you're not in
much condition to play anything.

You only think
I'm not in much condition to...

whatever you said.

But in fact I've finally tipped
the universe's luck balance

back in my favour.

Your lucky streak is over,
Sonic.

Brace yourself, my friend,

cos there's nothing but
sunny skies ahead for this--

Even with a mind
as powerful as mine,

it's important
to keep the reflexes honed.

You robots will be my opponents
in this training exercise.

On your marks, get set...

Go!

Ow! Ow!

Someone's stepping
on my moustache.

[Orbot] Wait,
no one's stepping on your...

Ugh!

If I didn't know better,

I'd say there was a shift
in the universe's luck balance.

Hmm...

Come on, meteors,
take your best shot.

We've got to do something.
He's going to hurt himself.

What do you suggest?

You could lose to him
on purpose.

What else you got?

[sighs] I'll talk some sense
into him. Leave it to me.

Knucks, you're wasting
your time with this luck stuff.

I've been beating you
entirely due to skill.

-Luck!
-Skill.

-Luck!
-Skill.

Like the way I beat you
in this argument.

You didn't win yet because I'm
still saying the word "luck".

Luck!

Can we discuss this
somewhere else?

Sonic and his friends
always defeat me

by the slimmest of margins.

But with the universe's luck
balance shifted in my favour,

there's never been
a better time to attack.

So let us attack! This instant.
With everything we've got.

Bring the Mega.

Sticks, you gotta help us
make Knuckles stop right away.

He's gonna get hurt.

Not if he shifts the universe's
luck balance in time.

What if he doesn't?

He'll probably be eaten
by a carnivorous plant

and slowly digested
over a period of months.

And we agree that's not good,
right?

I can think of worse.
But I've got confidence in him.

Confidence in a guy
who believes your crazy theory?

Did you just call my theory
crazy? Grrr!

Knucks, I was hoping we could
get you to stop this nonsense

before an asteroid
pulverises you into baby food.

Any suggestions?

Admit that luck
is the only reason

you've been beating me
all this time.

How about we have a rematch
right now? Skill versus skill.

Go ahead, take your shot.

Don't you feel
the ground rumbling?

Nice try, Lucky.

[grunts]

OK, that was a little weird.
I'll give you that.

A little? Are you kidding me?

[all gasp]

Magnificent!

[all laugh]

The invasion
is going swimmingly.

And me without my floaties on.

[laughs]

Note to self.
Need hipper diabolical banter.

What makes you think
this stunt will go any better

than the last dozen or so
you've pulled?

The universe's luck balance,
that's what.

What?
You believe that stuff too?

Sorry I'm late.
What can I do to...

I'm unscathed! I'm a little
shvitzy, but no matter.

It's also laundry day.

Today is my lucky day.

[groans] You guys OK?

Wow, that was nuts.

I can't believe that.

We had him cornered.
What are you doing here?

Helping.

You're not helping,
you're just bad luck.

I have an idea.

Since you and your bad luck
just hurt our side,

why don't you just join Eggman
and make it official?

Fine! If that's how
you're gonna be about it,

I'm gonna work with someone
who appreciates me.

Knuckles, come back.

Hold up.
Let's let this play out.

Attention, village.

Your panicked screaming
and fear-addled hysteria

have so charmed and delighted me
these past few moments

that I wish to extend
my appreciation

by debuting for you

my most extravagant
ode to destruction yet.

Behold... the Mega!

[all gasp]

I call him that because he's
% bigger than my other robots.

Eggman, I'm through with Sonic.
I'm joining your side.

Ah! A defector has come
to join the winning team.

More good luck.

Pretty cool robot. New?

Yeah. Nice, right?
Safe to say my best ever.

[villagers gasp]

Though it's basically
a prototype.

Never really tested it
in the field before

but the designs
looked really sound.

So I figured with this
good luck I've been having...

But hey, now it's tested and I
don't have to clean up the mess.

Good luck with that, suckers.

Wow. My bad luck follows me
wherever I go.

Or is it good luck?
After all, our side won.

But I was on the other side.

No, you weren't. I sent you
on a secret mission for us.

It was so secret
even I didn't know about it.

Yeah, you see,
you switched sides

and your bad luck
overpowered Eggman's good luck,

but you were really on our side,
so by losing you won.

Wow. Yeah.

You know what I've been
wondering, though?

Where crazy luck theories
come from?

When the bad luck leaves me,
where does it go?

Ugh!

There's a perfectly good
explanation for this.