01x13 - Unlucky Knuckles

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

-[laughs]
-[beeping]

Oh, that is so true.

Everything OK?

Nothing a little solder
and a kind word couldn't fix.

Not you, you idiot.

I feel better already.

Quit clanking your bolts.

I'm chatting with my new buddy

who, unlike you,
is very intelligent.

Hey, you told me
you forgot the Wi-Fi password.

Were you also lying
when you said

cartoons would rot
our head... think... boxes?

Nominatus, meet
my hopelessly incompetent robots.

Wave at him.

Pathetic. [laughs]

[laughs] LOL!

I'm sick of being unappreciated.

It's time to venture out
on our own.

Yeah! Can we venture out
on our own together?

Of course.
We'll make new friends.

Moto Bug, stay strong.

Titanium Bee-Bot,
keep buzzing the good buzz.

And, Robot Crab, see a doctor
before that thing spreads.

A real doctor, not Dr Eggman.

So I said, "Reprogram you?
I hardly know you!"

[laughs]

That story gets funnier
every time you tell it.

I know, right?

Ooh, before I forget,

I'll show you the schematics
for the new lair defence system.

Prepare to be impressed.

Goodbye, boss. We're leaving.

Don't try to talk us out of it.

Huh? No, I'm fine.
No lunch for me.

So where were we?

Oh, it's all controlled
from the central hub.

I painted the access panel
purple. Is it too much?

Hey, dudes!

What are you two doing here?

We're hoping for service,

despite the fact that
we have neither shoes nor shirt.

What's Eggman up to?

Oh, we're done with Eggman.
I swear!

We'll prove it by revealing
something about him.

Yeah, let's see...
He sleeps with an evil night light.

He sings in the shower.

There's a hole
in the lair's defences.

-Stop.
-He's bald!

They're telling the truth.
I knew about that hole.

-And I knew he was bald.
-All right, you guys can stay.

-Yes!
-So... who's up for charades?

[groans] That reminds me,
I've got to chop my arm off.

Sonic, you forgot your axe.

I have to build traps for when
you ultimately betray us all.

Sorry, guys, I've got to go
think of an excuse

not to hang out with you.

Uh-oh.

Oh, look at the time!

I got to go... do something...
somewhere else.

What shall we do
in your absence?

Yeah, and what will we do
when you're gone?

Try this video game.

You run, roll and collect rings
as fast as you can.

Oh, that sounds terrible.

[door shuts]

[both grunting]

Rock, doughnut, Thursday?

[both]
Rock, doughnut, Thursday, sh**t!

I win. Rock smashes doughnut.

No, no.
Doughnut makes rock delicious.

[both grunt]

[beeping]

[computer] Virus detected.

Virus detected.

[laughs crazily]

[laughs crazily]

[laughs]

[Eggman exhales]

You were right.
I did need an evil nap.

No...
We've got to go warn Dr Eggman.

Dr Eggman, your friend is evil!

Yeah? So am I.

Goes with the territory
of being an evil genius.

[both laugh]

He's plotting against you.

And he stole your coffee mug,

which I then found

and am not lying about
right now.

Who fired my laser?

Your underlings are correct.

You should never
have trusted me.

Now I've taken complete control
of your lair.

But I love my lair. It's where
I do all my lair things.

Your world is so illogical,
so messy.

I'm eliminating all life forms

and I'm using your tech
to do it.

Robot Crab,
I told you to see a doctor.

Now you've got pink-eye too.

[beeping]

[laughs crazily]

Wait! Come back!

I'm in
a vulnerable emotional state.

[laughs crazily]

An evil virus has
taken control of Eggman's lair

and is about to destroy
the entire world.

And why should we believe you?

[Eggman] Aargh!

That'll work.

[gasping]

How many of these things
are there?

Too many. We need
to go directly after the virus.

-You mean like a cyber attack?
-I can do it from my computer.

Hold them off
as long as you can.

Yeah! And no slacking.

I'll be back to check on you
when the battle's over.

-Ooh, I've got mail!
-And you're the smart one?

It's no good.

I can't neutralise the virus
from outside your firewall.

We need
to get inside the computer.

There's no way to do it.

There is
if you have an artificial brain.

[squeaks]

They're artificial but they
don't have a brain between them.

Yah! Brrr!

Is this massage
Swedish or deep-circuit?

Ugh! Brrr!

Oh, shiatsu!

Cubot, might I say
you look dashing in -bit?

Actually, it's -bit.

Hi-yah!

Ugh! Next time
you should "bee" more careful.

That wasn't funny
the first times you said it.

Hi-yah!

Next time
he should "crab" more careful.

You're just trying to annoy me.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah. What if the princess
is in another castle?

Get in the plane!

Button!

Any last words, friend?

Yes. Up, up, down, down, left,
right, left, right, B, A, start.

[rapid beeping]

[bang!]

[laughs crazily]

-I ain't fighting him.
-Neither am I.

[laughs crazily]

Ha! Hm?

Rock, doughnut, Thursday?

[both]
Rock, doughnut, Thursday, sh**t!

I win. Doughnuts
are half-price on Thursday.

No, the doughnut store's closed
on Thursday.

This game... it makes no sense!

[both]
Rock, doughnut, Thursday, sh**t!

Rock smashes Thursday.

You can't use Thursday.
It's not an object.

Ooh, nice move.
But you forgot about leap year.

Logical reasoning impossible.

Game... incredibly stupid.
Too stupid.

Fatal error.

[both] Wow!

[both whistle]

Once again
I've led us to victory.

Hey, there's no I
in multiplayer.

So I guess we should... fight?

Oh, I'm all fighted out.

Me too.

I'm going home to prepare
a new diabolical plan

while you give me a sponge bath.

[both whimper]

As for you,
I will destroy you...

Hm... let's see...

How about next week?
Does next week work for you?

-Yeah, I'm open.
-Great. Destroy you then.