Gob had been preparing
for a parade illusion...
- Here it is.
-...to allow him to reunite
with Tony Wonder.
Christian magician
goes into one closet,
gay magician into the other,
they spin around,
then you come out of the
opposite closets, okay?
Except now, he's straight
and you're gay.
You could go back and forth
the whole parade.
- I love it.
- Yeah.
But the big question is:
will Tony? I mean, sometimes,
I'm really into something,
and he hates me.
Well, there's
only one way to know.
And so Gob called a man
he had tried to forget
by purchasing
a closet conversion store
in the first place.
It's hard to explain.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Sure.
- He's in.
Yeah!
And breathe a word about this
to anybody and you're fired.
Now the story
of a wealthy family
who lost everything, and
the one son who had no choice
but to keep them all together.
♪ ♪
It's...
Lucille was visiting Buster
for the first time
since his incarceration.
Five minutes.
Well, I'm not going to be
the one who apologizes,
if that's what
you're waiting for.
- Well, I'm sorry, but...
- Apology accepted.
Uh...
No, you said it.
You said "I'm sorry."
You said the words.
Did I exaggerate about her?
She really is just like the
mother in Two and a Half Men.
No, you did not.
Start watching that show?
Yes, I did, Mother.
And you lied to me.
There's no scary half-man
that I couldn't handle.
I don't approve of that show.
Well, there's a lot
of stuff I've done
in this prison that you
might not approve of.
I touched a mouse.
I read an illustrated Qur'an
for kids, and at recess once,
I sat in "Blacks only."
Yard.
Oh, I keep doing that.
But maybe what you really
don't approve of is... me.
If you must know the truth,
I'm not thrilled with you.
- Okay.
- The last time I saw you,
you told me
you didn't need me anymore.
Okay... So I'm to believe
that's what you're upset about?
Not that you think
I'm a m*rder*r?
Or that I touched a mouse?
I happen to know for a fact
-you're not a m*rder*r.
- What?
Lucille 2's fine,
but she can't
come back right now.
You know where she is?
- I know who she's with,
and that's all I can say.
Why don't you say it to someone
to get me out of here?
I can't do that right now.
You'll just have to
sit tight and trust me
for a little while longer.
So it's like that again.
History repeats.
You remember that?
I remember you paying me off
by letting me go
to the Fourth of July parade,
but I'm a man now.
Paying me off
isn't gonna be that easy.
You'll need the warden's
permission, and then
you'll have to sponsor me for
my furlough, and they probably
won't let me on the float again,
but that's just...
Oh, God, it's still
the parade, isn't it?
We're still talking about...
Oh, we're talking about it!
Buster, please.
The parade's in two days.
The whole city will be there.
The last thing
this family needs right now
is a Bluth in a chain g*ng,
picking up trash.
Well, it's either that,
or I'm gonna start spewing it.
And your job's not gonna
be easy since,
of course, I got dinged because
I screamed, "Turn it off!"
after they showed the half-man.
It's like they need another
reason to call me...
- Half-man?
-...Jon Cryer.
Oh.
Soon, George Michael
sought out Maeby
where she was living
-as the sexagenarian Annette...
One minute!
- It's me. It's me.
- Oh, where are my glasses?
Oh, they're right on top
of my head, for God's sake.
It's me. It's me.
- Hey.
- In. Come in.
...who wasn't feeling
very sexagenaric.
So, you're not gonna
believe this...
What are you doing?
I'm doing another scrub and run.
My sex date is tonight,
and there's no
other way out of it.
And honestly,
if I wanted a hairless lover,
I'd probably go underage rather
than overage, you know?
- What's that?
- No, I mean, not
that I would do it on purpose.
I'm just saying if I had a g*n
to somebody's head.
- If you had a...
- What do you want me to do?
You want me to sh**t a kid?
What kind of monster are you?
I'm not sure how I became
the monster there,
but what happened to your plan
to make Annette forgetful?
Like, she can't keep track of
things, to get out of the date?
Well, it ended up having
the opposite effect.
Because when Maeby
showed up late,
she saw something troubling.
Oh, what a relief.
I thought you disappeared on me.
Mwah. Thank God.
Before I could
even act confused,
he had already called the cops.
Well, not exactly.
- They weren't cops.
- This is wonderful.
I've always wanted
to be a Keystone Cop.
It would be my honor to wear
this handlebar mustache
-in the 2nd of July parade.
That's right.
It's your first parade
not playing the jailbird.
So you should know,
those can be tricky to stick on.
Hey. I think I know
what I'm doing.
Kind of what I'm doing.
And these were, like,
senior guys, you know?
Long coats. He's not
gonna let her go,
which means I have to.
Good-bye, Annette.
Good-bye to our teeth that
make it look like I'm smiling
so I don't have to.
And you,
I'll miss you most of all,
neighbor's pain medication.
I never even got the chance...
Nah, I'll just take you with me.
So, now that you found out
your dad's sneaking around
with your girlfriend, looks like
you need a roommate, too, huh?
No, that's what I came
to talk to you about.
He wasn't going
to see Rebel in Mexico.
The whole thing was just
a crazy, paranoid idea.
Who knows where we get
these ideas from, right?
Well, you. I got that from you.
It's always from you.
Oh, yeah, I was gonna say
that sounded like one of mine.
Yeah, so I was going down there
to catch my father in this lie,
and it turns out that I was
the one caught in a lie,
because there's a picture
of the stair car in Mexico.
Something
George Michael discovered
while trying to be honest
with his father,
on the way to purchasing
12 new tires.
So, George Michael,
-why did you follow me
down here?
- The truth?
I-I thought you were coming down
here to meet Rebel.
Come on, I'm so over Rebel.
You were lying
about so many other things,
Pea Soup Andersen's
and being at the barbecue...
No, no, you're right.
How about, starting right now,
no more lies.
That doesn't include me,
though, does it?
No, no, no. You'd be
out of business, and by the way,
Barry, you had
the best lie of all,
saying that they had a picture
of-of Lucille 2 and Oscar
in the stair car.
That is not a lie. You said,
"Keep it as real as possible."
Prismo, texting mode.
Self-drive on.
This was real?
If they've got this,
there's no reason for them
to hold Buster and they know it.
- Did you know about this, Dad?
Are you kidding?
Thanks to your mother,
I can't even feel
-your son on my lap.
- Can I see that, Dad?
Ugh, so Lucille 2
is alive? Great.
Another reason I got to get
the hell out of here.
No, it wasn't her, it was us.
From when we went to Mexico
with Steve Holt.
Don't you remember
how we got there?
It was just after Cinco
when Maeby suggested
fleeing the country.
Screw it.
No rules, anything goes.
- Just the cousins.
- Hey, why don't we take that?
Primos!
So anyway, now my dad
and everyone else
thinks that they have proof
that's gonna exonerate Buster
that I know isn't true.
And I'm not sure
whether I should...
Lie to him.
What do you think?
Oh, okay. You just told me.
Really?
Even though we just left
the stair car there
when it broke down?
I mean, what if they find it?
I'm sure somebody got it working
and it's long gone.
And it's not like you're
actually lying to your dad.
You're just letting him believe
something that isn't true.
You know? Like how people
think the world's melting
because people drive cars,
or that Hillary should
continue to roam free.
And Maeby realized
she had something else
to say good-bye to.
Good-bye, Fox & Friends.
Meanwhile, Lucille
was growing concerned
that her daughter Lindsay
wouldn't be back in time
for the parade.
Sally, Sally,
where are you headed?
I think the more important
question here is:
where is my opponent,
Lindsay Bluth?
Maybe she's hiding behind
this wall she wants to build.
If she does indeed
show up at the parade,
I will be very surprised,
though I may not look it.
- No further questions.
- Hey, hey.
Oh, George,
I've been worried sick.
About Buster being stuck
in-in that jail.
They are making him a patsy,
parading him around,
frightening the masses
before the Fourth of July.
It's on the second this year.
And being in the parade was
his idea, like it was in 1982.
We're trying to get
Lindsay elected,
and Buster wants everyone
in the world
to see him in
an orange jumpsuit.
- So he'll be out in public?
- I don't want to tell you
what I had to give the warden
to make that happen.
I don't want to hear it.
Meanwhile, we still
don't have a Lindsay,
and Sally is calling us
out about it.
We've got this elaborate float
to help distract from the fact
that there's
no stair car this year,
-and nobody to put on it.
- Ugh, God. -Fortunately,
Tobias was finally calling.
Oh, thank God, it's Tobias.
You better have found
my daughter.
Sally is now in the race,
and she's pointing out
that no one has seen
Lindsay in a week.
Yes. I didn't want
to get your hopes up,
but I'm in Mexico
and I have found Lindsay...
- Oh, thank God.
-...to be very stubborn.
Oh, damn it,
I just did exactly
what I said I wouldn't do.
Anyway, I'm at Ma Bark's,
and she tells me Lindsay
should be back this afternoon,
before I'm out of my
postal plumage. Of course,
when she does come back,
I'll still need to get her
into the car.
Well, say whatever you need to.
Yes. I was thinking
I would just say,
"Your mother is so sorry
she upset you."
Out of the question.
Yes. It felt
a little out of character.
How about I just
make it about me?
"It's incredibly important
to me and my life..."
Where is this going?
"...and if you do this for me,
"I'm sure Lucille
will make me permanent member
of the Bluth family."
That way, you're not
lying to Lindsay...
You are. Well, that sounds
like the best
of our diplomatic options,
but you're in Mexico,
for God's sake.
Please tell me you prepared
a few "against her wills."
Oh, my gosh.
I do miss that wit, Mother.
It's Mrs. Bluth.
I wasn't joking.
And you're right,
we need her standing,
and dressed and ready
for the parade.
On it. In the meantime, wow,
what a trip!
Murphybrown saw an armadillo,
men held us up at gunpoint,
and I got to dress up
-as an os...
It would be five
minutes before he would realize
she was no longer on the phone.
And, as Tobias awaited
bringing Lindsay home,
Maeby was reluctantly
leaving hers.
You're Annette's granddaughter,
aren't you?
Yeah, I am.
I'm getting out of here.
Saying good-bye to her.
Well, she's in good hands.
Stan would do anything
for your grandmother.
If that woman told him
to jump off a bridge, he would.
He would, wouldn't he?
And she found herself
feeling reflective.
Nah, I love this place.
I'll just tell him it's over,
and kick him out.
It was the 2nd of July,
and the Funkes
had just finished
working off their water
and phone debt.
I guess you earned your shower.
Ugh. This thing
does not breathe.
I'll tell you who doesn't bitch
like that, your son.
I'll give you 500 bucks cash
for this youngin' right now.
And maybe that's
when Tobias learned
what it meant to be a father.
My son is not for sale.
Thanks, Dad.
Then shower's off.
There's your wife.
Now you can both go.
Lindsay?
- Tobias?
- DeBrie?
No, you were right
the first time. Uh...
I've been
pretending to be Lindsay
the past few months, on account
of Marky's face blind.
But Marky's buying it.
You should hear him: "Oh,
Lindsay, you've let yourself go.
Oh, Lindsay,
why'd you stop showering?"
You're missing
some back teeth, there.
Yeah. Just like that.
But I don't think
I can be Lindsay anymore.
They're so critical.
And...
I fall apart at criticism.
And Marky doesn't see me
for who I really am.
I see you for who you are.
DeBrie Bardeaux.
A first-class Lindsay Bluth
impersonator.
Now, let's go to Newport Beach,
and you can be Lindsay there.
- Oh, I can't go back to Newport,
'cause that's where Marky's
headed right now,
to protest the 2nd of July
parade with a paint b*mb.
- You know what?
I could go to Newport.
- Let's do it.
- NARRATOR:
And soon, preparations
for the 2nd of July parade
were underway.
We're 20 minutes from float-off.
Ugh, but at least
nobody's noticed
that the stair car's not here.
And that's when Sally
arrived in a float
that would make sure
they did notice.
Oh, hello.
What do you think
of the new stair car?
I had to make one,
because yours disappeared.
Sally Sitwell.
Well, you're no stranger
to stuffing tissue places
when you don't have the goods.
Well, what we don't have
is the candidate
that would've been
Lindsay's opponent.
But we made one,
and put her up top.
Although, she's not
as hollow as your candidate.
Uh, where is she?
Uh, she went off somewhere
to pretty herself up
for the parade.
Aren't you in it, too?
Ticktock.
The sun is nobody's friend.
Speaking of which, where is that
friendless son of yours,
Buster?
Is it true he's in prison?
Well, yes,
in the Keystone Cops skit
in your father's old role.
Something Buster
had only discovered
-moments earlier. -Mr. Bluth,
you're not on cleaning detail.
What?
Is this because I accidentally
choked Ron Howard?
Because they already
made me pay for that.
They chopped your hand off?
No, they just downgraded me
to a manual.
Listen,
I don't mean to namedrop,
but Mother was supposed to have
already arranged for me
to follow the parade.
Sorry.
I got a note
from the warden himself.
You're in a cage
on a Keystone Cop float.
What?
You mean I'm in the parade?
Are there dressing rooms
for the talent?
Oh, well, at least
Buster's being held.
Which is more
than he had as a child.
Sally wasn't
that sweet after all.
When this is all over,
let's get coffee.
And Tobias made sure his son
was occupied
while DeBrie prepared
for her role as Lindsay.
I will leave you here
and what could be more exciting
than to be backstage
♪ At a parade? ♪
♪ ...ade. ♪
♪ Being watching the parade. ♪
No. With the curb huggers? No.
I meant, for one whose dream
it is to be a clown.
Oh, yeah, 'cause he'd be, like,
"This is the one place where I'm
not embarrassed of my dream."
Hey, no. Never apologize
for your dream.
No. I was-I was
making fun of the guy.
What guy?
Whose dream...
whose dream it is.
It's your dream.
We just talked about dreams,
and you said you could unicycle
and juggle.
Oh! That's because my uncle,
he taught me that stuff,
when he used to come over
to cheer me up on Father's Day.
Robbie knows how to juggle?
Who's Robbie?
Oh. Yes, of course.
You wouldn't know my brother.
Are you one
of our parade clowns?
Me? No, I'm too shy.
No... yes, yes, he...
yes, he is. Yes.
T-This is, uh, Relucto,
the apprehensive clown.
No, I'm not, where do you...
There's the catchphrase.
Let's get you into a chair.
Well, I-I bet right now,
there's a very, very jealous fan
out there who would-who would
give anything to-to trade places
with you and get up on that...
No, I can't,
because I have to be her husband
in that stupid Lindsay float.
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
Meanwhile, Gob was
second-guessing his float,
as he waited for Tony Wonder,
who had yet to show up.
- Aw, damn it!
- Hey, Gob, have you seen Mom?
No. Um, hey, how would you
like to help me
in a double-closet
sexuality switch
two-hander float illusion,
no credit, no money?
Oh, and you turn gay.
- I'll pass.
- Yeah, that's what
I thought of you.
Look, we're gonna pull out
of here in five minutes,
and Tony's not here;
what if he doesn't show?
Gob, you'll be fine.
Do you remember
high school commencement,
when they asked you
to represent all the kids
that were being left back,
and then you had
to quickly find
a replacement for Buster
who was too afraid
to be sawed in half?
So you're saying nothing's worse
than the sound
of the dog screaming?
No, I just meant you're not
a very good magician.
And that's when Gob noticed
a less discerning brother,
who also happened to be his
former magician's assistant.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Oh.
- Sup. Listen,
I'm glad you're here.
- Sup...
I might need you to fill in
for Tony Wonder
-in my illusion.
- Mm.
It's gonna involve you
being put into a small,
confined space,
and you come out gay.
If that's a swipe about me being
in prison, I understand it.
Oh, right, you're in prison.
What are you doing here?
Well, Mom arranged it.
Although, it is nice
to be able to see family again,
because, not to be rude,
-but you didn't visit me in...
- Oh, there's a dog.
And Tobias and a nervous DeBrie
approached Lucille
to pitch their deception.
Tobias, and if it isn't...
what is it again?
- LeTrasha?
- Hello, again.
Those last few teeth aren't
going without a fight, are they?
- Mm, thank you.
- So where's Lindsay?
- You said you had Lindsay.
Yes.
But it turned out to be the
professional actress DeBrie.
The only acting this one's
good at is feigning interest
in her drug dealer's hobbies.
You do see a lot of aquariums.
But she was coming off
a three-month run as Lindsay
in front of a sold-out audience
of one face blind man.
The point is, if she can fool
him, why not have her violate
federal election guidelines
by fooling
the entire electorate
as the next representative
of the great 48th congressional
district of Californ-i-ay?
Upon a float where, unless
she gives a perfect performance,
she goes to jail for fraud.
Fine. You've left me no choice.
Maybe if you turn away
from the bleachers
and cover your face
with your hand...
I'm sure that's not the first
time you've been told that.
Oh, God, no.
I can't do this. T-This is...
No, no, no.
-...why I gave this up.
DeBRIE: Shy.
- No. No, you can.
- You can do this.
- No.
- No, no, no. Shy.
- You can't be this critical.
Not too shy, not shy.
No... happy, good.
(announcer
Good, happy, not sad.
Don't worry, Lucille.
I've got this covered.
I... no, no, no. Shy.
- Sad, shy. Sad...
- Just get her up there!
And so, the parade
finally began.
Although, "finally" might
not be the right word,
because it was still two days
before the Fourth of July,
and one day before the big
fireworks show on the 3rd.
Welcome to the third annual 2nd
of July Fourth of July parade.
To start the festivities,
please welcome
the Milford Academy
marching band,
known throughout the state
as California's
quietest marching band.
Let's all be perfectly still
and see if we can hear them.
("You're a Grand Old Flag"
There you are.
And Michael finally caught up
-with his mother.
- Hello, Mother.
Michael.
Please tell me you're back,
no one new has been arrested
and that your father is on
the way, but first, a kiss.
- Hmm.
- There are cameras everywhere.
Well, that... something
you ought to have thought of
with regard to Lucille 2
and Oscar in Mexico.
I can't believe they
were so stupid as to flee town
-in the stair car.
- Mm-hmm. Mom?
Come on, you knew
that Lucille 2 was with Oscar,
and you let your son sit
in prison
instead of telling anyone.
Knew? Michael, I can't...
I mean, the thought
that I wouldn't run to the D.A.
the moment I...
- Mom. Please.
Do you have a tissue?
You haven't needed a tissue
since Nixon resigned.
I think that you asked Oscar
to take her out of town,
didn't you?
I think that you needed her
out of the country
so that you could, what?
- Plunder her business?
- Now, listen,
nobody was hurt, everybody's
getting what they deserve.
Buster's in prison.
No, he's in a parade.
He's just playing a prisoner.
At least, that's what it looks
like to everyone here.
Look, I did what I had to do
to save this family.
There are things
you don't understand.
But he'll be out soon.
I did three years in prison
because of Buster.
- He can do a few weeks for me.
- Well, guess what?
He's gonna be out a little bit
sooner than you think,
because I'm gonna go
to Lottie Dottie,
and I'm gonna call her
on this photo.
Michael, you stay away
from that D.A.
She's a k*ller,
despite what she may seem.
So, there's nothing you can do.
The D.A.'s office is closed
until after the 5th.
Now, please. We're family.
You stay out of my life,
I'll stay out of yours.
Hmm.
Thank you! Thank you!
I guess there is nothing
that I can do, Mom.
You know, I-I have to believe...
I'm-I'm not sure that, uh...
Yes?
I've just been given
the signal.
Uh, the band
is finished playing.
Ah, well, that's terrific.
I'm sure they were great.
Let's-let's give them
all a big hand.
Oh, it might be
too late for that.
Looks like their van
just pulled out.
They will be neither
seen nor heard next year.
As it turned out...
Lottie Dottie
was heavily guarded.
And that's when Michael,
who had done some light
unicycling in college,
came up with a plan
that just might make it
seem like he was part
of the parade.
Hi. Excuse me?
- Do you mind if I...
if I just...
- Aah!
- Although a less complicated
plan emerged. -Um...
Looks like the D.A. guards
are leaving their post
to tend to him.
This is gonna be
less humiliating.
- Hi. Excuse me, Lottie!
Mrs. Dottie, I'm Michael Bluth.
Do you mind if I just parade
with you for, uh, just a minute?
Oh, you must be
Buster's brother. Hop in.
I am Buster's brother. Yes.
Oh, so how can I help you?
And please make sure to wave.
Huh? Yes. Hi.
Um, so, does the D.A.'s office
make a regular practice
of holding people under
suspicion of murdering victims
that are clearly still alive?
- Huh?
- We're not holding him
on m*rder charges.
It's a tampering case, right?
Yeah, well, if there's no crime,
then what has he tampered with?
Lucille Austero's clearly alive
after the moment
that she disappeared.
You know?
That-that's my uncle Oscar.
My-my mother just confirmed it.
Oh. And we couldn't
find him, either,
so the missing victim
and the alibi
and what we thought
was the scene of the crime.
Yes. All here.
All in one picture.
Oh, my God.
This is so embarrassing.
I mean, what can I do?
How can I make this right?
Well, you gotta, you gotta
release my brother from prison.
- We did.
- Hmm?
- You did?
- I mean, it has
to be processed out,
but he wanted to be in a parade.
Oh. Well,
he looks to be enjoying himself.
Okay, well, I'm glad that
we talked this through, though.
You know? This...
I'm so glad to have met you.
- Yeah?
- I guess I should say I'm lucky
I didn't have to face you
in a court of law.
Maybe someday we will.
Yeah, I mean, if it turns out
that's not really Oscar
and Lucille in the picture.
- Right. Yes. And you find
a crime scene.
I-I've injured a clown.
You don't want to hurt a clown.
So I'm gonna go back
and I'm gonna help the clown.
- Good-bye
- Be careful.
Oh!
Next up is a double-closet
sexuality switch
two-hander float illusion,
brought to you by our friends
at Laguna Closets.
But with Tony still missing,
Gob, hurt and alone,
was forced to use
his weakest talent:
Hey, does anyone
have a dog? I...
...thinking on his feet.
No?
Oh, forget it.
So, I guess, happy 4th.
Nah, well...
Well, the magician
seems to be
just standing there,
doing nothing.
Ah... you get used to it.
It appeared that Tony had
missed the parade,
but whether he did so
intentionally was something
Gob was just beginning
to wonder.
Did somebody say...
- "wonder"?
Tony?
You sinner.
He's Gob,
the Christian magician.
And he's Tony Wonder,
the hot gay one.
And as a Christian magician,
I know that gay people
can change.
And as the hot gay one,
I know we can't, "girlfriend."
I love you, Tony!
Except, in the world of...
-magic.
- Magic.
And so, the two men began their
double-closet sexuality switch
two-hander float illusion,
surrounded by paid protestors
meant to depict
both sides of a culture w*r
that kind of ended
a few years ago, didn't it?
-♪ ♪
Tony...
Here we go.
♪ ♪
Well, it looks like
the straight magician
is going into a messy closet,
and the gay magician,
well, he's going into one
that's neat as a pin.
Kind of thought
you weren't gonna show.
Hey, man, look.
I know you're still upset.
All right?
I screwed up, okay?
I know we were supposed
to hang out
and see each other
on the Fourth of May
and take Forget-Me-Nows and...
I just chickened out, man.
Plus, there wasn't
a fourth of May this year.
Crowd.
-♪ ♪
Look, I felt bad
about the whole thing.
I mean, you said
this was an important gig
and I figured I had to show.
Yeah, well, the truth is
this was never about the gig.
I did this whole thing
just to see you one last time.
Wow.
Well, the truth is, for me,
I kind of did
the same thing for you.
I mean, I just wanted the
chance to see you one last time
and say good-bye.
Crowd!
♪ ♪
If you really feel that way,
maybe we don't have
to say good-bye.
What do you mean?
I mean, the problem was,
like you said,
that we couldn't be together
without branding
each other's taint.
No, it's, uh, tainting each
other's brand, but same dif.
Dif.
Same.
- Same dif.
- But if this...
Oh, I thought you were gonna...
You're gonna say one more?
Nah, it's okay. We don't have
to always be in sync all of...
Crowd!
♪ ♪
Look,
what I'm saying is,
if this trick goes off
like I think
and the yahoos in the stands
don't realize that
all we're doing
is just folding some clothes
and slipping
through our trapdoors
and crawling under the float
-to switch closets, then...
Right.
When you come sashaying out
like Ms. Berry Zuckerkorn...
And you're as straight
as Bob Loblaw at
- a high school prom.
- I don't know who that is.
Oh, he's an attorney we were
forced to use one year and he...
I guess he likes them young.
But, uh, we pull this off
and we got a show, man.
We could hit the road together.
You know?
Hotels and... share a room...
Yeah. Um...
there's only one problem
with your plan.
I don't have a trapdoor
in here.
What? Oh.
Oh, come on!
So we're just two men
who went into a closet
and changed coats?
All right. Well, this is
an audience of people
too stupid to get out of town
on a holiday weekend.
They're not gonna expect
the thing to take a twist.
But another twist
had been planned
-that Gob knew nothing about.
So we'll just, you know,
we'll pull one from
the old magic playbook.
We'll sell it with our smiles.
By the way, I can't wait
to see you out there.
Same!
♪ ♪
Who's straight now?
I wonder if my friend
straightened out his act.
-♪ Free ♪
-♪ Free ♪
♪ Free at last ♪
-♪ Free at last ♪
- Tony, get out here, man.
♪ Talking 'bout freedom ♪
- Tony.
-♪ Freedom... ♪
- What the...?
-♪ Free, free at last... ♪
Laguna Closet Conversion
wants me to make it
clear that, well,
their conversion service
is not what you think.
They convert closets...
And George Sr.
caught up with his wife.
I'd offer you a seat,
but this is a new purse.
I'm actually good here.
And, after talking politics...
So did we-we get Lindsay?
If you squint.
We may just get away with this,
George.
You know, it might be
the-the last drop
of the estrogen speaking,
but I, uh...
I lost the land
in Mexico.
- What? How?
- I...
I missed some payments and then,
uh, the-the Mexican Romneys,
they showed up
and they took it back.
And they said, "No refundo."
And they speak English.
They're-they're Mexican,
but they are Romneys.
- George, without that land our
whole plan falls apart.
- I know.
The Chinese will expect Lindsay
to support a wall
-we can't afford to build.
- Right.
She has to lose.
- She has to lose.
- Yeah.
Damn it, George. Why didn't you
tell me that at the cottage?
It happened in Mexico.
I mean, when you came back.
I just, I just came back.
I was parking the Winnie.
Do you have any idea
how hard it is
to find five open spaces
-on parade day?
Well, here now
is congressional candidate
Lindsay Bluth.
Oh, no. Here comes her float.
People are going to love it.
In fact, DeBrie,
fearful and self-conscious,
was hiding from the crowd,
ironically embodying the person
she was meant to impersonate.
She does capture Lindsay.
I'm not sure what she's,
uh, trying to say, John.
She wants to keep Muslims
out of America?
Or in?
Well, they're certainly getting
a rise out of this crowd.
It was message
that was easily interpreted
through the lens
of one's particular bias...
She's a Muslim.
She's disrespecting Muslims.
She's a ghost.
She's disrespecting ghosts.
...but equally hated by all.
We may just get away
with this, George.
And George Michael arrived
looking to finally be honest
-with his father.
Oh, George Michael.
- George Michael. Hey.
- Dad, hey.
- Hi, hey.
- Hey, hey. Listen, um...
you know that picture of
the two people in the stair car?
Do I know it?
I just used it
to get Buster out. Okay?
I didn't go through channels.
I didn't ask Barry.
I just fixed it, you know?
You got to be straight
with people.
Nothing bad
can ever come of that.
That's me and Maeby.
What is "me and Maeby"?
In the picture.
This is a bald man and a woman
with spiky, black hair.
Well, I'm not proud of this,
but we...
we were wearing
the Ron Howard/Brian Grazer wigs
from the Imagine gift shop.
♪ ♪
That's you?
Why would you do that?
Uh, we were playing.
What were you playing...
Ron and Brian?
- Go to Mexico.
- What's that?
Ron and Brian Go to Mexico.
Was the name of the game?
We were bored. You don't get it.
Well, I knew it was a bad idea
to spend my Imagine bucks
on those wigs.
You've got the stair car,
though.
The cops were looking for it.
You found it?
It was right next to the house
after Cinco.
Dad, listen. I think you
better go to the D.A.
and be straight with her
about this.
Should I tell her
that my son and my niece
were playing Ron and Brian?
Go to Mexico.
Go to Mexico? No.
I'm not telling her that.
She seems, uh, very happy now
and-and Buster is almost free.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I shouldn't have told you
the truth.
No, no.
But I do think that we should
make a one-time exception
to the rule "Always be straight
with everyone," hmm?
I mean, honesty is always
the best policy, but, uh...
It's just not the only one.
It's one of a bunch.
But unfortunately for Michael,
the man who is supposed
to be with Lucille 2 in Mexico
wasn't that far away after all
and had a plan of his own
to make it seem like he, too,
was part of the parade.
A plan that we've decided
to present in the style
-to which it harkens back.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
It was.
Maeby finds the man
she had previously tried
to get away from
horribly injured.
I never even got the chance
to tell him.
It's over.
I'm breaking up with you.
Oh, and I need your keys.
Buster, unaware that he has
only a few days left in jail,
- What's happening?
- Is also unaware
he's part of a prison break...
- It's, uh, part of the act.
- Oh.
Anything for the kids.
...and risks 30 years
for the crime.
The parade really starts
thinning out around here.
Gob, abandoned and confused,
can't get back in the closet.
It seems as if
the Christian-y fellow
is now a gay man,
and by the looks of things,
-he'll be staying that way.
- Tony. Tony.
What a surprise.
- Yeah, not to me.
Tony!
Sally, all but sure to win,
visits Stan in the hospital.
It's called safety hair.
Practically undetectable.
They tell me
John Travolta wears his
even when it isn't hailing.
No, no, no. Some clowns throws
so much as a peach pit at you,
it clanks and everybody knows.
No, you want to keep me safe,
let's build that wall.
Those Bluths are dangerous,
I'm telling you.
Yeah, I guess they do have us
by the short wigs.
And Tobias desperately
tries not to lose
-his most recent Lindsay.
- Help! Please! We need a doctor!
It's an emergency.
Hi. It's us again. Help!
Did you redo the floors here?
Help, we need a doctor.
Oh!
It's okay.
She's usually on pain pills.
Ugh. I'm gonna call it.
Looks like she's been stiff
for about 18 hours.
Oh, no, no.
She's very much alive.
She just crashed through
a papier-mâché wall.
DeBRIE:
I'm under the impression
that if you're carried in
they put you immediately
on the morphine drip?
- That's what we've been
told before.
- Okay, look.
- We prioritize according
to need.
- Of course.
- Here.
- Oh, okay. All right.
Help! Please! It's
a higher priority emergency!
Help!
Oh, bullshit you didn't redo
these floors.
They look amazing.
Help!
I got to stop
coming out this way.
05x08 - Premature Independence
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Michael finds himself forced to stay in Orange County and run the family real estate business after his father, George is sent to prison for committing white-collar crime.
Michael finds himself forced to stay in Orange County and run the family real estate business after his father, George is sent to prison for committing white-collar crime.