07x23 - Come on Over for Dinner

[bunniefuu]

One clear, moonlit evening,

There was a dinner
party on Wisteria Lane,

And everyone would agree that
it was a night to remember.

They would remember
the crisp Chardonnay...

The tangy salad...

And the savory chicken.

But the most memorable
part of the evening...

wasn't the food.

In the year since she had left the lane,

Susan Delfino had missed many things...

The laughter of happy children...

The smile of the cheerful mailman...

The smell of wisteria in bloom.

But what Susan missed the most...

were her friends.

Dishes are done. Can I go now?

We just started unpacking.

Oh, come on. It's been a whole year

since I could walk
outside, knock on a door,

- And hang with the girls.
- Can we at least finish the kitchen?

Fine.

Susan.

Go play with your friends.

Just... be home by dinner.

Wow. I win. Ha!

You... are in great shape.

Did it ever occur to you that
a mere woman could outrace you?

Did it ever occur to you
that I'd rather run behind you

than in front of you?

That... is so... sweet.

Ohh. I have to take a shower.

What a coincidence. Me, too.

Really?

We're doing this?

I thought we couldn't have

- sex until your divorce was final.
- Yeah, I know,

But I thought about it a
lot these last seconds,

And I think I'm done waiting.

Hey! Can you spare a cup of
coffee for a new neighbor?

Susan! I just finished a
run, but tomorrow, for sure.

I'll race you to the shower. Whoo!

Wait.

Wait? What?

I think there's a reason why
god sent someone to the door

That exact moment.

I don't, and I know him
a lot better than you do.

Hey, I don't wanna wait either.

- I'm just so close to getting out of my marriage.
- How close?

Doreen and I meet with
the lawyers tomorrow.

Now as long as she
shows up in a good mood,

We could wrap it up in no time.

So our sex life is dependent
on your wife's mood?

Her little boutique
isn't doing so great,

And the worse business
is, the crankier she gets.

Crankier she gets, the
more she drags this out.

All right, then I guess
we'll be showering separately.

You go first. Just don't
use all the hot water.

Don't worry. I won't be using any.

So... the kids are gonna want dinner.

Should we just order pizza?

Fine.

You want me to unpack for you?

No, that's okay. Just... leave it.

What are you doing?

Never mind.

What do you mean, "Never mind"?

Why are you keeping
your suitcase packed?

The--the company has an
apartment near the office.

I think I should move
in there for a while.

No. No.
Tom--

You don't think some time
apart would do us good?

Time apart? Come on. We both
know what that means. It means

If you walk out that door,

- you'll never come back in.
- You don't know that.

We just had a -hour car ride
and didn't say a single word.

I do know that.

Guess who just moved back on the lane!

Oh! Oh, my gosh! That's so great!

I'm so happy for you!

I'm just right in the
middle of somethin', but I--

I'm gonna call you, all right? Yay!

So what are you saying?

You're done trying to work things out.

We've been trying.

We can't give up.

We have to keep
fighting for this--

Fighting to save our family.

Are we fighting to save
it, or are we just fighting?

It happens.
That just ha--

Lynette.

Leave the suitcase where it is.

Hey! Gaby!

Hi, neighbor. Invite me in for wine

So I can get out of unpacking.

Susan, hi. I was just
about to go out. Rain check?

Hey. What are you doin'?

Thought you missed your friends.

Yeah. Still do.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just back
from a run and on my way out

And kinda busy right now.

Would you believe that? I told
you she was mad. She's mad.

Susan, we are so sorry.

We didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

We should have made time,

Especially after everything
you've been through.

It's just... to be away so
long and be totally ignored...

I was home all day. My bell never rang.

Who wants coffee?

So there's Paul, and he
is struggling to get loose,

And Felicia is right on top of me,

Holding the needle
just inches from my...

It's Doug, my ex. Third time this week.

I bet you anything that
bimbo of his walked out,

And now he wants to hook up with me.

Will I say yes? Well.... depends.

If he really
asked me nicely--

Renee, this is Susan's moment.

Well, she could have told me
her story yesterday. I was home.

I'm just saying.

Susan, we wanna give you and
Mike a proper welcome home,

so we are having a dinner
party in your honor.

Aw. You guys don't have to go
to all that trouble. Whose house?

All of ours.

It's an old-fashioned
progressive dinner.

We're doing drinks and
appetizers at my place...

uh, salad at mine.

And for the entry, I am making
my famous roast poussins.

It's French for "baby chickens."

I'm serving cheesecake.
It's American for "dessert."

Well, you guys are so sweet to do this.

I don't want to get emotional,

but just being here in my own
kitchen with my best friends...

I'm just saying...

Aw. Honey.

Keep going. I'm not gonna answer it.

Uh, Renee, I was going to do a
little clothes shopping later,

and I was hoping you might join me.

Oh, thank god. Are we
burning your clothes

before or after we go?

I was hoping we'd try that
little boutique on Lake Street,

the one Chuck's wife owns.

What? You wanna go talk to the wife?

Oh, bad idea, Bree. Very bad idea.

No, Chuck's meeting with
her to work out a settlement,

and he's hoping she'll
be in a good mood,

which she will be if we go to her store

and spend a bundle on clothes.

I'm buying, so it's a win-win.

You'll be helping a friend
and getting a free new dress

for the dinner party.

I'm not sure these clothes
are quite the thing...

for a dinner party.

Dinner? I wouldn't wear
'em to a drive-by sh**ting.

Just smile, okay? Doreen's watching,

and we're here to...
lift up her spirits.

Oh. In that case... excuse me.

Miss? We just love your clothes.

Yes, they are... so expressive.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear you say so.

From the way they've been selling,

I was starting to think they
were... too edgy for fairview.

Not for us. I'm gonna take
these tops, and... ooh.

These beautifully
ventilated jeans and...

Oh! Look at this lovely skull purse!

Hey, don't you wanna try 'em on first?

Yeah, Bree, you really should.

You two just made my day.

And you made ours!

I just love this look on me.

Thank you so much...

Uh, Bree.

You're welcome, Doreen.

How'd you know my name?

I don't.

You just said it. You called me Doreen.

Oh. Well, it was on your name tag...

or would be if you had one.

That's why we don't check out the wife.

Uh, what?

Ohh. Oh, I get it.

You and Chuck are an item, huh?

So you came to get a good look

at the woman whose
husband you're screwing?

Hey, Bree here is a class act...

Not that you can tell at the moment.

For your information,
Chuck has not slept with me,

- and he won't while he's still married.
- Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously.

He has high ethical
standards, and so do I.

Sorry.

I guess I misjudged you.

Apology accepted, and
I hope for your sake

as well as for mine that you and chuck

come to an agreement soon.

You know what? I think we just might.

Wonderful.

Arthur?

Doreen. You know that
agreement I said I'd sign?

Tear it up. We can do better.

I thought you were dead.

That's the good thing
about a small town.

You start a rumor a hundred miles away,

nobody checks.

Okay, so you're a liar.

Then why are you here? What do you want?

You were in Las Colinas
stirring things up again.

Took me a long time to start
my life over someplace else,

and I don't need another witch hunt.

Don't come near me!

Gabrielle, please. Who are you kidding?

I'm not the little girl

who doesn't know how to
defend herself anymore.

What's going on here?

Trying to think of a
reason not to k*ll you.

I know we had
our problems--

I don't remember you having problems.

I remember you getting drunk on tequila

and coming into my room
and putting your hand

over my mouth and raping me! I was .

I was a... virgin.

What do you want, Gaby?

Get on your knees.

Unh-unh.

Get down!

Gaby, don't do this.

Don't do it?

I remember saying that,

And it doesn't work.

Think of something else.

I'm... I'm sorry.

For what?

For what?!

Raping you.

Get up!

Start walking.

Never come near me
again. Do you understand?

Go back to being dead.

So no because you don't wanna go,

Or no because you don't know
what a progressive dinner is?

Both. I've been on the road for a week,

And I don't feel like a party,
especially if that woman's

gonna be there.

Oh, "That woman." You mean Bree?

How long's this gonna go on?

As long as my mother's dead.

Well, that could be forever.

You go. I should
probably get to the office

And catch up some work.

Oh, forget Bree. You don't
even have to talk to her.

This is about doing
something nice for Susan.

Gaby...

Why the hell do you have a g*n?

Alejandro found me.

What? I thought he was dead.

No, he's alive.

What did that bastard want?
Did he lay a hand on you?

Why didn't you call me?

He's gone. I took care of it.

Gaby...
Did you--

I came close.

My finger was on the
trigger, but I didn't do it.

I guess it was enough
just to know that I could.

Wouldn't have been enough for me.

After what he did to you,

I would have sh*t him like a dog.

Uh... Excuse me.

Aren't you supposed
to be behind the bar?

I-is this a photo of you and
Doug Perry from the yankees?

Yeah. He's my ex-husband.

That is so cool!

What--what's
he like?

Okay, I usually don't talk to the help,

But in your case,
I'll make an exception.

Shut up.

Oh, good. The gays are
here. Let the fawning begin.

Heavens to cher! You look amazing.

It's good to see you holding up so well.

What are you talking about?

Oh, your ex-husband getting remarried.

It's all over ESPN.

Which you obviously do not watch.

Oh, my god. I am so sorry.

We thought you knew.

This is what comes from watching sports.

That's why he was calling
me. He's getting married.

Will you excuse me?

Uh, red or white?

Brown.

You look really pretty.

Aw. Thanks, sweetie.
Is your dad dressed?

He's not back yet.

- From where?
- I don't know.

He left while you were in the shower.

Hey, Penny, there was a
suitcase there. Have you seen it?

Nope.

Can I try your lip gloss?

Uh, sure.

Hey, guys. How's the party?

Hi. Okay.

You might wanna stay out
of the living room, though.

-It's pretty brutal.
- Yeah, Judy's a little over the rainbow.

...change a hair for me

Not if you care for me

Stay, little valentine

Stay

Each day is

Valentine's

Day

Once more from the top.

No! No, no, no, no. "My funny valentine"

Not so funny the fourth time around.

Here we go.

Okay.

Look, Doug is a dog.

He's not even worth thinking about.

Trust me, you will meet someone else.

Yeah? When? Where?

All the good ones are
either married or... gay.

Aren't you sweet.

- I was talking about Bob.
- Okay.

Oh. There you are.

Everyone's dying to meet you.

You mind if I have a drink first?

I just finished talking
to Doreen and her lawyer.

- How'd it go?
- Horribly.

We were this close to settling,

And suddenly she asked
for the lake house.

- Oh?
- Even her lawyer says it's too much.

But it's like somehow she
knows I'm desperate to end this,

So she can ask for anything.

That's awful.

Mini cheeseburger?

Hey! Where's Tom?

Um, I don't think he can make it.

- He's got some work he has to do.
- Same with Carlos.

That's the bad thing about
being married to rich guys.

The good thing? We're rich.

Sorry.

You might wanna talk to Penny.

She was over watching M.J. today
and she seemed a little upset.

Oh, about what?

Well, I don't know if
you and Tom had a fight,

But she has it in her head
that you guys are splitting up.

Oh, my god.

No, no. No "Oh, my god."

I told her not to worry.

I told her nothing was ever
gonna happen to you two.

Oh, my god.

Tom left me.

It's not like I didn't see it coming.

I just didn't see it coming tonight.

Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry.

How are you even keeping it together?

Right now I'm just... thinking
about making salad for .

I know how hard this is.

You know, but trust me,
however it turns out,

You're gonna get through this
because you've got your friends.

And Tom.

Look, Lynette.

It's... Tom.

Well, obviously, you don't need
three people to make a salad,

so I'll head back to Renee's.

And I'll see you in a bit?

You wanna set out the forks?

Forks?

Where the hell have you been?

The recipe called for mandarin oranges.

You told me to get mandarin oranges.

Yesterday, and I went
and got them myself.

Well, I didn't know that,
so I guess we have extra now.

But...

I didn't see your suitcase.

It's in the closet.

People will be coming soon.

I'll get the forks.

I don't know if I've told you this,

but it's nice having you
back on the lane, kid.

Aw, thanks, Karen.

You know, in the
year I was gone--

Okay, okay. You're holding up the line.

Talk and serve, huh?

Where's Renee?

I don't think she's coming.

She just found out that
her ex is getting married.

Doug?

Yeah, she's pretty devastated.

I don't think you'll
be seeing her tonight.

Hello, everybody!

This is my date Edgar.

- The bartender?
- Not just a bartender.

- Bartender/model.
- Uh, print ads, mostly.

Maybe you saw me in last
Sunday's "Fairview herald"?

I was "Guy checking watch."

Oh, show 'em!

All right.

Isn't he good?

It's like, he really needs
to know what time it is.

Drunk off her ass and
not afraid to show it.

My kind of gal.

Chuck?

About, um, those new
demands your wife made...

there's something
you should--

Hey, hey. You know what,
Doreen? I don't care.

Take the money and the lake house.

It's worth all that and more

to finally be free of you. Good-bye!

You didn't have to do that.

I did. I couldn't let
that drag on one more day.

But to give up your vacation
home just so we can have sex?

That's not why I did it.

That place is full of memories of her.

Now why would I want to hold on
to those when I could be making

- new memories with you?
- Oh, Chuck.

Also I wanna have sex with you.

Mmm. And we will...

as soon as this dinner party is over.

How many more courses?

I guess we could skip the salad.

Good evening.

Evenin'.

It's a really funny story, how we met.

You tell it.

No. You tell it so much better.

You don't have to tell it.

We were there when you met an hour ago.

Excuse me.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

What are you doing with this guy?

"This guy"?

This guy is the best thing
that ever happened to me.

And you better be careful,

or you might not be invited
to the wedding. That's right.

I could easily see myself
being the next Mrs. Renee...

I'll be right back.

You want one?

Want one? Uh, no.

Need one?

So you wanna tell me

why it took you two hours
to find mandarin oranges?

What were you doing?

Leaving.

What made you come back?

I couldn't do it that way.

I kept thinking about you at the party,

people asking you where I was,
and you having to make stuff up.

It wasn't right.

My biggest fear about marriage

was that someday you'd leave me.

I...

I grew up in a home where people left,

and I had to clean up after,

and I just couldn't
go through that again.

And so... when I didn't
see your suitcase,

I thought, well, here it is.

My worst
fear--he's gone.

And then I thought, oh!

Damn!

Paige's car seat is in Tom's car,

and I'll have to get a new one.

You had just left me, and I
was thinking about a car seat.

It was so weird. I
kept waiting to feel...

devastated, but instead, I-I felt...

I didn't know. I...

Ugh. I couldn't put a name to it.

Then, when...

I walked in, and you were back...

I suddenly realized
what I had been feeling

the whole time you were gone.

It was relief.

I... was relieved.

Hey, if you guys don't
put out more croutons,

- You're gonna have a riot on your hands.
- We'll be right there.

What are we gonna say to people?

Nothing.

It's Susan's night.

Yeah, and we shouldn't tell
anyone until we tell the kids.

Oh, god. The kids.

Oh! I'm sure a year of
celibacy was tough on you,

but as the person who benefited from it,

all I can say is...

- Oh, my god.
- Thank you.

No, no, no. The chickens.

I should've taken them out
of the oven minutes ago.

I hope they're not...

Oh, no! The smoke alarm!

We're moving again?

Now we go to Bree's for the main course.

I don't get it. Is
this supposed to be fun?

Not fun, Roy. Just free.

So shall we go?

Yeah, I guess it's that... time.

Again with the watch bit?

I don't get it. You used to love that.

Oh, people change.

Stop it.

Open a window!

Oh, no! They're ruined!

Ah, god. Can't we just
scrape off the burnt parts?

There's nothing but burnt parts!

- Oh! Help me clear the smoke.
- Sure.

Hello?

- They're here!
- Anybody home?

Look at us!
Button--button your shirt!

- I don't have any buttons.
- What?

- You're the one who ripped them off.
- Oh, no!

...the salad to get ready.

What the hell would've happened?

Hello, everyone.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but, um...

my oven malfunctioned.

It's been very erratic lately,
and I thought I'd fixed it.

But, uh, Chuck and I

- went to the cellar to... choose a wine...
- Yeah.

And when we were done,

my... entry was smoking.

I'll bet it was.

Hey, Chuck, what happened to your shirt?

Well, as Bree's already pointed out,

it was very smoky in the kitchen.

And I couldn't find a
towel to wave it away.

So I, um, I used my shirt, and...

and I waved it so...

vigorously that, um,

all--all the--all
the buttons came off.

Should I offer to loan him a shirt?

Don't you dare.

Anyway, um...

We are going to go pick
up some roast chickens.

Chickens.

So, uh, enjoy the wine and...

Get my shoes.

Uh, and we will be
back as soon possible.

Let's go.

See ya.

What?

You really think you need another one?

Are you counting my drinks now?

I don't think I can count that high.

You knew I drank when we met.

You were the bartender!

Oh, baby. What's--what's
happened to us?

We never used to fight.

Listen,

I think this has been
over for a long time.

You're dumping me?

It's not you. It's...

It's me.

But it's mostly you.

Well...

Edgar and I are over.

I'm sorry.

But you'll always have the salad course.

Ugh. Who am I kidding?

This was all about Doug.

When he cheated on me with Tina,

I-I thought he was just
sick of being married

and just wanted to screw around.

But now he's marrying her,

which means what he was sick of was me.

Okay, um,

either you are the most
sympathetic friend of all time,

or something else is going on here.

Tell me.

Tom and I are separating.

No.

No. No, no, not you guys.

It's all right.

I think it's for the best.

Oh, absolutely.

Wait a minute. This should be about...

- More chicken?
- Mnh-mnh. No.

I should run and get dessert ready.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Yeah,
I have something I wanna say.

Mike and I just wanna thank you guys

for planning this
wonderful dinner for us.

Renee, uh, we really enjoyed the drinks,

and you seemed to enjoy the bartender.

And, Lynette, you and
Tom make a great salad,

and an even better team.

And, Bree,

for the first time ever,

you b*rned the main course...

which was the perfect tribute to me.

You know, um, living away from you guys

has been hard for me,

Because when friends live apart,

they sometimes grow apart, too.

But no matter how crazy
or busy our lives are,

something always seems to
happen to bring us back together,

and that started
tonight... with this dinner.

May we have... many, many more.

Aw, damn. Almost made it.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Cheers.

Okay, now I am leaving before I lose it.

I will call you guys when it's ready.

Okay.

Hola, Gabrielle.

Oh, god!

What are you doing here?

I know you told me not to come back,

but I'm bettin' you won't be so tough

without your g*n.

I told you to leave.

And I did. I go miles out of town,

but I just couldn't stop thinkin'
about all those things you said.

You made me sound like a monster.

- I only said what was true.
- You sure?

'cause when you said that
thing about being a virgin,

I almost had to laugh.

What?

Come on, Gaby.

Those short skirts you wore...

Those halter tops...

You were a little slut.

You sick bastard.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You
did all the talkin' before.

Now it's my turn. Sit down.

Stay away from me.

I remember those nights
in your room, baby.

Alejandro, stop.

And as far as me putting
my hand over your mouth,

that was so your mother wouldn't hear

how much you were enjoying it.

He came in. He came in,
and he was standing there,

And I was so scared, and
I couldn't do anything.

- I couldn't.
- It's okay.

I couldn't do anything.
I couldn't do anything!

Okay, okay, hey, hey, hey!

Let's call the police
before he wakes up.

Oh, god.

What?

There's no pulse.

He's dead. I k*lled him.

But it was self-defense.
I mean, he had my g*n.

Your g*n? I put that in the safe.

No.

He had it.

He had it right here. It was...

It was here.

I just k*lled an unarmed man.

Gaby, I thought you were gonna call.

Yeah, it's
been --

What... happened?

Who is that?

My stepfather.

The one who...

Is he dead?

Yeah. I k*lled him.

This is--this is bad.
This is really bad.

The man was in your house,

And you had every reason to be scared

after what he did to you.

I never reported him. No one knows.

They're only gonna
know that he was here,

and he was unarmed, and--
and Carlos k*lled him.

And now he's gonna go to jail
because he was trying to protect me!

Calm down. We just need time to think.

We don't have time.

Everybody's coming.

Including your boyfriend, the detective.

I k*lled the son of a
bitch who hurt my wife.

If I have to go to prison, I will.

That's not gonna happen.

Sorry, if these glasses were bigger,

I wouldn't have to keep asking.

Maybe you're not supposed
to drink a lot of blue.

Oh, excuse me. Pardon me.

Hey. This was fun.

I like your friends.

Oh, I'm glad.

This strawberry sauce gets everywhere.

There are many things that
bind friends together...

Sharing a laugh over an
embarrassing incident...

Comforting each other
in times of need...

Finding it in our hearts to forgive.

But the thing that binds
friends together the most...

is a secret...

that changes...

everything.