02x20 - Those Were the Days

[bunniefuu]

[camera shutter clicks]

Come on, Uncle Phil,
vogue!

♪ Express yourself ♪

♪ Oh yeah oh yeah ♪♪

Oh, no, oh, no.

Will, sweetie, you've been
snapping everything in sight

for days now.
What's goin' on?

Well, it's a photography
assignment, Aunt Viv.

I wanted to do something
meaningful and artistic

but wouldn't nobody
get naked.

Morning, all.

Carlton, the photography
assignment is due today

and you haven't snapped
a single picture yet.

Not to worry.

[camera shutter clicks]

Carlton, this is a photography
assignment

not a Prince video.

Madam, sir, there is a most
perturbing person out here

who claims to be
an old friend of yours.

- Who is it, Geoffrey?
- She didn't say.

She was too busy
calling me

"A pathetic servant
of the capitalist fat cats."

- Marge!
- Marge! Oh!

Marge Smallwood!
Girl, give me a hug!

- Look at you!
- Ah, woman..

Woman, the last time
I saw you

was at Antiwar Rally
in '71.

You stole my afro-comb.

Don't look like
you be needin' it now.

- Hi. I'm Carlton.
- Hi, Carlton.

Hey, hey, how you doin'?
I'm Will.

My God, you look just like
my old boyfriend El.

I take it
El was blindingly handsome.

Well, hold on. Who's El?

Eldridge Cleaver.

Oh, was he related
to Wally and the Beav?

[laughing]

Wait. Hold it. Look..
You knew Eldridge Cleaver?

Oh, we were all
in the movement together.

Me, El,
Olafemi and Adesimbo.

Wait, hold up.
Olafemi and Adesimbo, too?

Oh, my..
Man, that's unbelievable!

Who the hell are they?

Phil is Olafemi
and Vivian is Adesimbo.

Oh, okay, and I'm
about to busta gutta.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪

♪ My life got flipped
turned upside-down ♪

♪ And I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there ♪

♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

[music continues]

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground was where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

♪ And all sh**t' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're movin'
with your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab ♪

♪ And when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate
said fresh ♪

♪ and it had dice
in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say ♪

♪ That this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought
nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled
to the cabby ♪

♪ Yo homes
smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

(Marge)
'Well, you two
have come a long way'

from that fifth-floor
walkup you had

when Olafemi and I
were in law school.

Oh, boy, those were the days.

Oh, we marched on Washington

staged sit-ins,
held hunger strikes. Oh!

Would that have been between
breakfast and lunch

or lunch and dinner?

But we knew
how to part-ay, too.

Ooh! Did we ever!

Remember Woodstock, 20 of us
tried to squeeze into that tent?

Vivian and I jumped
into that lake naked!

[laughing]

I wasn't at Woodstock.

Oh, yeah.

Well, kids, did I tell you
that Marge and I

went to school together,
that she graduated

near the top of our
law school class?

So, Marge, are you with a firm
or on your own?

On my own. I'm still
in the struggle.

Oh, that's dope, Marge.

You never gave up on
what you believed in.

- Oh, I do my best.
- Hey, check it out.

Look right into
the camera and say

♪ Burn baby burn ♪♪

No, no, no.
You can't take my picture.

I mean, just wait for me
to freshen up a little.

But speaking of pictures..

...look at what I have here.

- 'Oh, no!'
- Oh, oh, come on.

Look at this. Ah!

Oh, my God.
Who are those two weirdos?

And who is that ugly little kid
in thedashikidiaper?

Well, those two weirdos
are your father and I

and that ugly
little kid is you.

The bone in your hair is
a good look for you, Hilary.

Yeah, you've got
sort of a Yabba Dabba Doo.

Mom, look at how short
your skirt is.

Oh, your mother's legs
made the miniskirt famous.

I have mom's legs. Can I wear
my skirt that short?

You have my legs
and the answer is no.

Marge, girl, you must be tired
after your trip.

Now you're staying with us

and I don't want to hear
any arguments.

Oh, you aren't getting any.

Just tell me where to plug
in
my 8-track.

Well, Geoffrey will take your
bags up to the guestroom.

I carry my own bag.

My brother, you have been
oppressed

repressed and suppressed
by capitalism.

Don't you know
you can be free?

I have known freedom.
Don't like the health plan.

Geoffrey is not oppressed.

He's, uh, more..
Our friend.

Aren't you, Geoff?

Whatever you say..

...Phil.

[instrumental music]

So you can see how Ansel Adams
created a work of genius

just by using light and shadow

which brings me
to your work, geniuses.

Alright. Let's see
those homework assignments.

I like that.

Will, that wouldn't happen to be
gum in your mouth, would it?

Yeah, yes, Mr. Knotts.

Oh, cool.
Do you have any more?

Thanks. That's good.

Carlton, this is..

It's a very..

It's..

What the hell is it?

Our assignment, sir.

You asked us to experiment
with shadow.

I call this
Bunny On A Wall.

And I'm going to call this
Midget At A Desk.

[bell rings]

oh, uh, everybody,
um, before you go

there's something
I'd like you to remember.

[exhales]
I think that there is
something very special

about every single one of you.

Class dismissed.

Oh, whoa, wait, wait,
hold up, hold up.

Oh, What about our trip
to the Mapplethorpe exhibit?

Uh, don't you want
our permission slips?

Mine ain't forged
this time.

Come on, cornflake,
where's your permission slip?

Are you kidding,
my parents won't let me

look at naked photos.

Look they thought
the "Little Mermaid"

was p*rn.

It turned me on.

I can't go see the Mapplethorpe
exhibit either.

[all clamoring]

Actually, none of us is going.

It seems that a lot
of your parents

just don't approve
of this exhibit.

And since going
was my bright idea

I've been fired.

What? Hold up.
They can't do that.

This is an outrage.

They can't give us
a new teacher now.

I mean, I've spent the whole
semester sucking up to you.

[instrumental music]

- Oh, hey, Marge.
- 'Hey.'

I still can't believe
they fired the best teacher

that Bel-Air Prep ever had.

You know, you've been talkin'
about this for past two days.

Move on it.

You know what Malcolm said.

"By any means necessary."

Yeah, you know, Marge,
you're right.

- I'mma move on it.
- Good.

I like having you around.

You get me all hyped
and everything.

Hey, I bet that's how you
felt
when you roomed

with Angela Davis, right?

Ooh, yeah. But we had a lot
of huge arguments.

Word? What? About her
political views?

No, about how she used
to always put her name

on everything
in the refrigerator.

Got on my nerves.

Yeah, and I bet with
that big old afro

she probably had a lot of
hair
and afro sheen

and stuff all over the
place..

Boy, don't get me started.

You know what?

I'm going to call you Hasani.

Oh, what,
you're gonna just dis me

right in my face
like that, Marge?

No, no. It'sSwahili.

It means, handsome.

Ah. I like how
you talk, Marge.

I like how you think, too.
Hey, you know what?

I got a name for you, too.
It's, uh..

It's Too Legit To Quit.

Hey, that's pretty clever.

Did you just think of that?

Uh..

Yeah. Why, you like it?

YourPerrier..

...my sister.

Hey, Marge, listen,
we just got tickets

to the Roberta Flack
concert tonight.

Come on, we'll grab a bite
to eat first.

No. I don't feel like
going out tonight.

Oh, come on,
you haven't been any place

since you've been here.

I mean, we'll make it
another time, okay?

Greetings, Sister Adesimbo.

Greetings, Brother Olafemi.

Power to the people!

Oh, Ash.

You kind of look like
Winnie the Pooh Mandela.

Mom, daddy

I am a depressed minority

and I want my
allowance increased.

No.

Then I'm staging a sit-in

and I won't eat my peas.

You will eat your peas.

Come on, daddy. Suppose Gandhi's
parents treated him like this?

Gandhi ate his peas.

Then I shall
spray-paint my demands

on the pool house wall.

We like to encourage
free speech.

[chuckles]
We certainly do.

(Vivian)
'Ashley! Girl, are you crazy?'

(Philip)
'Get your butt back here!'

[telephone ringing]

You're on the mic.
What's your beef?

Oh. Uh, no, sir.
He just stepped out.

Uh, yeah, sure.
I'll tell him.

Alright.

Ooh, that was the FBI

looking for Uncle Phil.

I wonder what they want.

They want me.

[instrumental music]

The FBI wants me.

- What?
- The FBI?

Really? Could you put in
a good word for me?

I'm thinking of applying.

[sighs]

She means they're after her,
Carlton.

She's a fugitive.

We're harboring a fugitive?

Look, no offense, Marge, but I'm
not going to prison over this.

No way am I sharing a cell

with a woman called Big
Mama.

Marge, I don't understand.
What do they want you for?

Take your pick, I helped a bunch
of migrant workers

bust out of an internment
camp

broke into some
federal buildings

shredded a few files

and made life
pretty damn difficult

for the South African
Embassy
back East.

Man, and I thought
I was doing my part

by going to Spike Lee movies.

Does the government know
where you are?

They probably know
I'm in the area.

And they're checking out
everybody I know.

Oh, no, it's cool, Marge.

We're gonna stand
right behind you, right?

Marge, you know we love you

but we've got a family
to think about.

Why don't you give us some time
to think this over?

I understand.

Marge.

We're behind you 200 percent.

Peace.

Operator, get me the FBI.

Carlton, what are you
doin', man?

Come on, Will,
we're harboring a fugitive.

She's not a fugitive.
She's our friend.

Yeah, and ever since
she got here

my diary has been
a lot more interesting.

Well, I agree, Ashley's diary
is a lot more interesting.

But it's not worth
going to jail over.

Okay, that is enough,
Carlton.

Your mother and I
will handle this.

I hate to sound paranoid

but do we really know

if mom and dad
are who they say they are?

Or if their names
are really mom and dad?

[sighs]

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

Gentlemen, we all agree

that Mr. Knotts'
dismissal is wrong.

But we have the rights
to redress our grievances

'which is why I urge you
to sign this petition.'

'Sometimes a man
has to be willing'

to put his name on the line

for what he believes in.

"Ricky Ricardo?"

Lucy, you got some
'splainin' to do.

Hey, look, fellas,
there ain't no point

in trying to reason
with the man

when the man is not trying
to reason with you.

Right on.

What we gotta do
is get up in his grill

and show him
that we got the power.

Yes. Power to the people.

Say it loud.
I'm black and I'm proud.

Alright. My man cornflake
got the spirit.

He a little confused,
but he got the spirit.

Hey, look. What we gotta do
is take over this classroom.

We gotta nail that door shut

and we gotta
chain ourselves together

to show them
that we mean business

each and every one of us.
Now, y'all with me?

Will, I think I speak
for all of us when I say..

Let's get the hell
out of here.

Don't worry, Will.
They'll never take us alive.

Hey, calm down, man. I already
bought my suit for the prom.

Hey, look, what we gotta do
is nail that door shut.

I-I I'll call the handyman.

Come on, man, we radicals. We
got to do things for ourselves.

You're right, my brother.

Where are the safety goggles?

Man, my butler
forgot to pack them.

Here. Here you go.

[breathing heavily]

No. Here, man.
It's easy. It's like this.

[breathing heavily]

[breathing heavily]

Yo, yo. You alright, man?

Yeah. I'm just hyperventilating.

This is so exciting. We're like
the "Mod Squad" without Julie.

Yeah, well, this ought to
show them we mean business.

Yeah!

- Will?
- Yo.

What do we do now?

Oh..

We-we-we-we chant.

Uh..

Attica!

(both)
Attica! Attica!

- Attica!
- Attica!

[sniffing]
Oh, man!

You smell that?

Damn! It's Chimichanga Day
in the cafeteria.

[instrumental music]

Yo, Marge, you should've
seen me. It was dope!

Me and my man, cornflake,
barricaded ourselves

in Mr. Knotts' classroom, right.

Took the football team
to break down the door.

And when they came in,
we was chantin'

"Make love, not w*r!"

Right on, Hasani!

But why were you chanting
"Make love, not w*r?"

Well, we was kind of hoping
the cheerleaders would overhear.

Sweetheart, this is not a joke.

Now, your antics got you
suspended for three days.

Now go to your room.

Looks like I've had quite
an impact on your kids.

You're proud of getting
a high school kid suspended?

If you mean, am I proud
to have told him

to do anything you have to

for what you believe in,
then yes, I am.

Marge, when you talked
to Will about when we

chained ourselves together
at sit-ins,

you're only giving him the
romantic part of the struggle.

Girlfriend, you're leaving out
everything that went before it.

The leaflets, the petitions

the years of trying to work
through the system.

Uh, the system doesn't work!

You have to blow
the door down.

Looks like you forgot that.

You talk as if I wasn't
there with you in Birmingham

facing dogs and fire hoses.

This is me, Olafemi.

The same Olafemi
that was with you

the night Harlem
went up in flames.

But now I have a family

and I choose not to fight
in the streets.

I have an office
to fight from.

And I have fought and won
cases for fair housing

affirmative action,
health care.

And I am not ashamed
to write a big fat check

for something I believe in.

And that doesn't make me
any less committed than you.

So don't you dare look down
your damn nose at me, Adebola.

Well..

...I guess I've overstayed
my welcome.

Marge.

You're welcome to stay here
until you can

figure out
where you want to go.

But if you ever want
to stop running

Viv and I
will be here for you.

[instrumental music]

Psst. Marge?
Where Uncle Olafemi?

He's in the study
with Adesimbo.

Oh, yeah.

Good thing he ain't in here!

'Cause if he was, I might just
have to run back up to my room.

Oh, what you doin'?

Oh, now that the man's
after me

I think it's best for me
to split.

Yeah, well, you know, you got
to get back to your work.

Hey, I heard that there was
an anti-apartheid rally in D.C.

Yeah. I may swing by.

I knew you'd understand,
Will.

Alright, I'll be ready
in about ten minutes.

- For what?
- Yo, I'mma go with you.

Man, if we are going to be
underground though

I'll probably need
another name.

How about, uh,
Akbar Shabazz Jenkins?

Will, you're a kid.
You belong at home.

You're only 17.

Oh, by the time
you were 17

you b*rned your first bra.

Baby, you can't do
what I did.

But I could go get
one of Hilary's.

What I mean is, you have to find
your own way, Will.

Do you know,
when I was your age

there weren't
many doors open to us.

Some of them
we had to blow open.

And because we did, you've got
more opportunities.

Uh, don't get me wrong. I'm not
saying that things are perfect.

It's just that now
you can fight our battles

in the boardrooms, too.

And in the classrooms,
the voting booths

and the courtroom,
just like your uncle.

Wait. Well, hold up,
hold up.

I thought you said,
"By any means necessary."

Right, but it's up to you

to figure out
what's necessary.

And, Will, when the courtroom
doesn't work

come find me.

You're a deep sister,
Adebola.

And you..

...are the future, Hasani.

[instrumental music]

Agent Marcus Collins
of the FBI.

If you need me, I'll be upstairs
saluting the flag.

Philip Banks.
My wife Vivian.

- Hello.
- How do you do?

I understand you're
acquainted

with a woman named
Margaret Smallwood.

I have reason to believe
she's been

in contact with you,
Mr. Banks.

Really?
What would that reason be?

We tap every
black person's phone

in the
United States of America.

Just a little FBI humor.

But seriously, folks.

Harboring a fugitive can
have grave repercussions.

Margery Smallwood is a very
close personal friend of
mine.

I consider myself
privileged to know her.

She was here, but she left
sometime this afternoon.

Do you have any idea
where she was headed?

As a matter of fact,
she said she was going

to a nuclear power plant
in Texas.

'Ah, but then again,
she did mention'

a migrant workers' camp
in, uh, Salinas.

No, honey, she said
she was going

to a voters' registration
drive in Biloxi.

Well, I thought
she was just going to Saks.

Oh, get the heck outta here.

Y'all mean she ain't
in the bathroom?

I must say, I'm disappointed
in you, Mr. Banks.

I would've thought
a man in your position

would be more aware
of his responsibilities.

I know exactly
what my responsibilities are.

Son, would you show
Agent Collins to the door?

Hmm. By the way,
I don't think we've met.

Ricky Ricardo.

[instrumental music]

Yo, Hil, check out my horoscope.

"You will become
a famous rapper

with your own TV show."
That's dope, right?

Those things are ridiculous.

What does mine say?

Uh, it says, "You are
headed for a fall.

Beware. Accidents can happen."

Oh, those things
are so stupid.

[Hilary screams]

I wonder what I'll call
my TV show.

[instrumental music]