04x24 - Papa's Got a Brand New Excuse

[bunniefuu]

[indistinct chatter]

Carlton.

Yo, man, you ever feel like
you was being watched?

All the time.
When you look this good

you have to get used to it.

When you talk that stupid

you have to get used
to this, man.

What is wrong with you?
Come here. Come here.

See that dude over there?

'He been scoping me
ever since he got here.'

'I think he's a cop.'

Turn yourself in, Will.
It's the only way.

You're right. You're right.

Wait a minute, man.
I ain't do nothing.

Hey, what's up, man?
Can I get you something?

No, I'm fine, son.

Um.. If you need..

So is he a cop?

He's my father.

[theme song]

♪ Now this is a story ♪

♪ All about how my life
got flipped ♪

♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪

♪ Just sit right there I'll tell
you how I became the prince ♪

♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪

♪ And all sh**t' some B-ball
outside of the school ♪

♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪

♪ And said you're moving with
your auntie ♪

♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪

♪ I whistled for a cab ♪

♪ And when it came near ♪

♪ The license plate said fresh ♪

♪ And it had dice
in the mirror ♪

♪ If anything I can say ♪

♪ That this cab was rare ♪

♪ But I thought nah forget it ♪

♪ Yo homes to Bel-Air ♪

♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo homes smell you later ♪

♪ I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

Uh...Will.

You don't remember me.

- But--
- Yeah, I do.

Hey, what's up?

- Long time, huh?
- Fourteen years.

Uncle Lou, it's me, Carlton.

- Did you bring me anything?
- Carlton?

My goodness, haven't seen you
since you were three years old.

I guess we all have
a lot of catching up to do, huh?

Let's see, where do I begin?

Well, when I was six,
we all moved from the hood..

And here I am today. Excuse me.

Hey, you-you want
some more coffee or
something?

That would be nice.

When did you get so tall?

Mostly during the '80s.

Thanks.

- So how'd you find me?
- Well, I..

I talked to your mother
about three months ago.

I guess she didn't mention it
to you. Yeah.

Well, anyway, I was driving
through L.A. on business..

I'm a trucker now.
Got my own rig and everything.

So I thought I'd stop by
and see how my boy was doing.

Hey, I'm doing fine.

Yeah, and, I'm-I'm busy, though.

You know, I got a lot of work
and stuff I need to do.

I understand, I understand.

- You take care of yourself.
- Yeah.

You too, alright?

Whoa, whoa. H-hold up.

Um, hey, you wanna stop by
the crib later

you know, and have some dinner?

Oh, well, I know you're living
with Philip and Vivian, and..

I don't think
I'd be too welcome.

You know what I'm saying?

No, t-they'll be cool.
So look, I get off at 6:00.

It's great.
I'll pick you up then, son.

Okay. Okay.

Good to see you again,
Uncle Lou.

Wow, 14 years.

You must feel like you're on
a roller coaster of
emotions.

You tell me, man,
that ain't no big thing.

Sure.

Look, I'm here for you,
my brother.

Let me hold you.

Hey, Aunt Viv.

Hi, Will. Hi, Lou. My God.

Vivian.

After all these years.

Still a stone cold fox.

Will, you should have told me.
You really should have told me.

I asked Geoffrey to tell you.

I thought it might
be more fun this way.

And I was right.

G, I-I'd like you to meet, um..

Lou Smith.

Show Lou to the family room,
please

while Will helps me here
with...something.

This way, sir.

How are you doing?

Oh, no, I'm cool, Aunt Viv.

I stopped on the way home.
I had a few drinks.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
No. I'm fine, I'm fine.

You think that Uncle Phil
is gonna be cool with this?

- I think so. Yeah.
- Alright.

If I can stop him
from coming home.

Who is this beautiful woman?

She's Hilary.

[both laugh]

- Hilary, this is..
- I'm Will's father.

Oh, come on.

Will's father is a deadbeat
who left him and his mom
flat.

- Hello.
- Uncle Lou!

Well, let's just sit down
and have a nice, quick visit.

- 'Vivian!'
- Oh, that was fun.

Why is there a truck
parked in my..

What are you doing here?

Philip, can I see you
in the kitchen, please?

- Uh, I should go.
- Don't be silly.

Who knows if we'd ever
see you again? Come on.

I must be an old man

because little Ashley's
all grown up.

Yeah, Ashley, um..

...this is your Uncle Lou.

Uncle Lou? You mean, he's your--

Yeah, that's right. He's my Lou.

- And this must be little Nicky.
- Uh-huh.

- May I?
- Sure.

Oh! Oh, yes, yes.

You know, Will, I used to
hold you just like this.

Then why'd you run out on him?

Well, Lou. It's been a while.

How long are you in town for?

A couple of days.
On some business.

Yeah, Uncle Phil, he owns
his own trucking company now.

(Lou)
'Well, one truck.'

But I am my own boss.
And I'm making a little
money.

Really? Why didn't you send
any back

to the wife and child
you abandoned?

- Hey, Uncle Phil, man.
- You promised.

Look, if you'll excuse me,
I think I'll skip dinner.

I don't have
much of an appetite.

Shall I call 911?

[Will laughing]

I ain't scared of no,
no kiddie roller coaster ride.

Oh, please, you was up there
screaming so loud

I thought I was sitting
next to Patti LaBelle.

[screaming]

[laughing]

Will, I owe you an explanation.

- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.

You see..

...the day you were born
was the happiest day of my life.

The first time I held you..

...I didn't think
I'd ever put you down.

So why did you?

I just wasn't ready
to be a father.

I started feeling trapped.

Well, one day
I just panicked and ran.

It was selfish and cowardly..

...but that's what I did.

I'm sorry.

Look, why are you telling me
this now?

Because you're my son
and I love you.

And I'm a different man now.

I'm ready to be part of
your life, i-if you'll let me.

- Part of my life. How?
- 'Yeah.'

Well, for one,
we can get to know one another.

And did you know your old man
was All City point guard?

- For real?
- Yeah, man.

I still hold the record for
the most consecutive foul sh*ts.

- You don't believe me?
- I didn't say nothing.

No, no, no,
I see you don't believe me.

Hey, come here. Come here.

Don't let this height fool you,
you hear?

I didn't say nothing.

No, you didn't have to say
nothing.

Don't hurt yourself now.

I don't want to take you
back broke.

- Yeah.
- 'Yeah!'

Anybody can make one.

They have little girls out here
that can make one.

- 'Yeah.'
- 'Yeah.'

Well, two, two ain't
nothing either.

He's really good.

He's my dad.

- Yeah!
- He's good.

- Alright, give me that ball.
- No, no, no, no..

Listen, Vy,
I told you last night

we're keeping a close eye
on Will.

He's doing fine.

Everything is..

What?

Yeah, Lou still looks great.

Hey, I'm sorry. He does.

Okay, fine.
He's puffed up like a blowfish

and bald as an egg.

Were your ears burning, sir?

- We're back!
- I have to go. Bye-bye.

Did you have a good time?

We rode every roller coaster
in the park.

Yeah, almost threw up
like three times.

That's my boy.

I'm glad you two
got to spend some time together.

We just getting started.
Ain't that right, daddy?

- Yep.
- What do you mean?

Oh, my dad has to hit the road
tomorrow.

And I'm gonna go with him.

Why should I spend my summer
wasting at the Peacock

when I can hit the road
with my dad?

Oh, hey, watch yourself,
watch yourself.

It's a great way for Will
to see the country.

- Forget it.
- Oh, come on, Phil.

The boy could use
a little adventure.

Excuse me,
but this is a family discussion.

- Hey, Uncle Phil--
- Hey, hey, hey.

It's okay. It's okay.

I'll wait in the pool house.

Uncle Phil,
that is not cool, man

the way you dissing my
father
like that.

- The hell with your father.
- Philip, for God's sake.

He waltzes in here
after 15 years?

- Fourteen.
- Excuse me, 14 years.

And acts like nothing
has happened. Wake up, Will.

This is the same guy
who didn't think enough of you

to pick up the damn phone.

He made a mistake.

I'm sorry that everybody
can't be as perfect

as you, Uncle Phil.

But if I can forgive him,
how come you can't?

Because he's doing this for you,
he doing this for himself.

If you think any differently,
then you're a fool.

Hey, hey, just cool it.

Just cool down. We can talk
about this another time.

You know what, Aunt Viv..

...ain't even nothing
to talk about.

I've been waiting for this
for a long time

my whole life

and ain't nobody
gonna stop me.

Come tomorrow, I'm out of here.

- Yeah, I don't think so.
- Who cares what you think?

You are not my father!

You know, sir..

...whenever I'm feeling blue

I think of the poem my dear mum
used to recite to me as a lad.

The master lives a life of ease

while we live life
upon our knees.

Waste not your tears
and save your breath

for soon
he'll die a violent death.

Works for me.

Daddy, I had a little accident
at the mall. I'm okay.

But...I totaled your MasterCard.

That's okay, honey.
Everybody makes mistakes.

Here, pick a card.

Well, I'll just take
this pretty gold one.

Thanks, daddy.

- What's with him?
- I don't know.

He's like a genie on Valium.
Make a wish, hurry.

Daddy, there's
a dance next Friday

but it's not over till midnight.

That's okay, Ashley, you can
stay out as late as you wish.

- Really?
- 'Mm-hmm.'

- Well, then, can I--
- Hey, save some for me.

Say, big guy--

Carlton...am I a good father?

Are you kidding?
You're the best.

Oh, thank you, son.

Can I have access
to my trust fund?

- Not a chance.
- I hate you!

Oh, yeah? Well, take a number.

Ah! Here comes Mr. Sunshine.

Shut up, Geoffrey.

(Vivian)
'Philip, stop moping.'

You know Will
didn't mean what he said.

Yeah, well, why'd he say it?

For four years, I treated
that boy like my own son.

Whether he needed, whether
it
was a pat on the head

or a kick in the pants,
I was there for him.

I worked my ass off
trying to keep him in line.

And yet, it's come back
with a vengeance.

I have done everything for Will.

Suddenly, it's like
none of that matters.

[scoffs]
I can't believe
he could be so selfish.

Philip, listen to yourself.

Somebody's being selfish
alright, but it isn't Will.

Uh, Will, do you mind if I move

one or two of your things around
while you're gone?

Oh, no, it's cool.
Knock yourself out, man.

You know, Carlton,
up until a few days ago

I never even thought
I'd see my father again.

'It was like I couldn't even
think about it'

'because I knew
it was never gonna happen.'

But I still managed
to-to keep the fantasy.

Now it's real.

I can't believe how lucky I am.

Yeah, it's a miracle.

Hold the tape measure.

Carlton, I'm only going
for the summer, man.

Hi.

Can I speak to Will alone,
please?

You're not gonna talk him
into staying, are you?

- Get out.
- Right.

Look, um, Uncle Phil,
I-I owe you an apology.

No, no, no, I'm the one.
I'm sorry.

I-I guess we both said
some things we didn't mean.

No, I meant what I said.

I was just out of line.

Uncle Phil, man, you know

I appreciate everything
you've done for me.

But this ain't about you, man.

This is something
I gotta do for me.

Yeah, I know.
I know, son.

And..

...I wish you the best.

Good luck. I'll miss you.

Me too, man.

Hey, Uncle Phil.

I mean, you know that this is
just for the summer, right?

Where's Lou? He's supposed to
be here an hour ago.

I knew this was gonna
happen.

- Maybe he got stuck in traffic.
- Yeah, on his way out of town.

- Mr. Smith has arrived.
- Sorry, I'm late.

Business. I talked to this guy
who's got this shipment.

Gotta go from L.A. to Maine
in 72 hours, if I can make it.

And I can make it
because I am the best.

And I'll make myself
a quick five grand.

- That's terrific.
- 'Isn't it?'

I guess you and Will
better get a move on.

Well, now, that's the problem.

Um, as good as I am, I can't
make the deadline by myself.

So I'm gonna pick up
an extra driver.

Oh, oh, so, uh, so there
won't be any room for Will.

Not this trip, no.

But, you know,
I'll tell you what, Lou.

I'll buy Will a plane ticket
to Maine

and that way
you guys could hook up

and still have
the rest of the summer together.

That's mighty generous
of you, Philip

but this job could lead
to another big one

and I gotta stay flexible,
you know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I know what you're saying.

Will is gonna be crushed.

Yeah. Uh..

That's why I was thinking

maybe you two
should break the news to him.

Vivian, would you take Nicky
upstairs, please?

You're not gonna hit him,
are you?

Because I don't wanna miss that.

No, I'm not gonna hit him.

Lou, if you walk out
of Will's life now..

...don't you ever come back.

Sit down.

I ain't got time for no lecture.

I said, sit down, Lou!

You know, Will was doing
just fine till you showed up.

But now that you're back, you
have responsibilities to him.

Look, we're still gonna
take the trip.

Oh, bull! Bull.

Will is not a coat
that you hang in the closet

then pick it up
when you're ready to wear it.

His life goes on. He's not
supposed to be here for you.

You're supposed to be here
for him.

You get off my back!

You think I want this?
It just happened.

Now, when Will was a baby,
I was scared--

Cut the crap, alright? Cut it.

Because I've been there.

But I didn't run out
on my family.

I was there every day for them.

Because that's what a man does.

Fine, Philip.

You win. You the man.

You a better man than me.

You happy?

Now you gonna tell Will or not?

I'm not gonna do
your dirty work for you.

Fine.

- I'll call him from the road.
- Yeah, do that.

- Yeah, I'll do that.
- Daddy-O!

What's up?

Will.

Man, I'm glad you're here.

Some business came up
I gotta handle.

So we're gonna have
to put, uh, our trip on
hold.

You understand?

Yeah, that-that's cool.

- Ju-just for a couple of weeks.
- I understand.

- Maybe a little longer.
- Yeah, whatever. Whatever.

Look, I'll call you next week
and we'll iron out the details.

- Okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

It was great seeing you, son.

You too, Lou.

Yeah.

Yeah. Um..

I'm sorry, Will.

Pssh! You know, actually,
this works out better for me.

You know, the slimmies this
summer come to class

wearing next to nothing,
you know what I'm saying?

Will, it's alright to be angry.

Hey, why should I be mad?

At least he said goodbye
this time.

I just wish I hadn't wasted
my money

buying this stupid present.

I'm sorry. You know,
if there was something that I--

Hey, you know what, you ain't
got to do nothing, Uncle Phil.

You know, it ain't like I'm
still five years old, you know?

Ain't like I'll be sitting
up
every night asking my mom

"When's daddy coming home?"
You know? Who needs him?

He wasn't there
to teach me how to sh**t

my first basket,
but I learned, didn't I?

hey, I got pretty good at it
too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?

Got through my first date
without him. Right?

I learned how to drive.

I learned how to shave.
How to fight without him.

I had 14 great birthdays
without him.

He never even sent me
a damn card. To hell with him!

I didn't need him then
and I don't need him now.

- Will..
- You know what, Uncle Phil?

I'm gonna get through college
without him.

I'll get a great job
without him.

I'll marry me a beautiful honey,

and I'm having me
a whole bunch of kids

and be a better father
than he ever was.

And I sure as hell
don't need him for that

because there ain't
a damn thing

he could ever teach me
about how to love my kids.

How come he don't want me, man?

[sobbing]

[theme music]