01x08 - Terms of Embarrassment

[bunniefuu]

Andi: Previously, on Andi Mack...

Both: Jonah and Amber broke up!

Jonah: I need to talk to you. Andi...

- Andi!
- Who's that?

It doesn't matter.
What were you gonna say?

I'll tell you later.

- Okay.
- Here she is. My kid!

- You met your dad?
- Your dad?

What's he like?

He's a really cool guy.

You and me are on, like,
the same brain-length.

Andi: I didn't know what
was gonna happen next,

but I knew that it would be fun.

But, then he had to go,
and now he's gone.

And Jonah's back with Amber,

so he's gone, too.

They're both gone.

Your life just keeps getting crazier.

Both: Aah!

Hey! I love your guest house!

- What is he doing?
- (laughs)

What? No.

No... Mom, come on.

- (sighs)
- Stay.

Mrs. Mack, y... you can't
pretend I don't exist.

I stand corrected.

He's not supposed to be here.

You're right, I'm not
supposed to be here.

I should be on a bus,
starting a -city tour

with a band that could
finally make my career.

Or not.

But, that dream was
all that mattered to me.

Until today.

Now I have this.

A new phone?

Mom, look at the screen.

Can you send this to me?

You understand my problem.

This girl versus Memphis?

Wasn't even a contest.

So you're stickin' around,
that's what you're sayin'?

That's the plan, Ham.

He's staying in AndiShack.

Or?

There is no "or."

Or?

He can sleep on the couch.

Not the "or" I was looking for.

It's just for a few days.

Three. And then I'll rejoin my tour.

Uh, four at the most.

I can give you one.

Two, and that's it.

And you can all stop looking at me

like I gave you socks for Christmas.

(laughs) Thank you, Mrs. Mack.

You're welcome.

You've got... hours, starting now.

- Score!
- It's better than I was expecting!

Both: Beow-beow-beow-beow... starfish!

(theme music playing)

♪ I'm standing on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I know
is blowin' away ♪

♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But anyway it goes, I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, here we go ♪

- ♪ One, two, three ♪
- ♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ All the way ♪

Have you talked to
Jonah since yesterday?

Yeah, we had a deep
and meaningful conversation.

I said, "Hey!" and he said, "Yo!"

I guess I'm never gonna know

what he was gonna ask me.

Sure you will.

Whatever that question was,

he is eventually going to ask it.

Do you really think so?

Definitely.

Like, years from now,

you'll be at a high school reunion,

and you'll say, "Hey, Jonah,

"what was that question

you were gonna ask me that day?"

And he'll tell you,
and you'll both laugh

about how different
your lives would've been

if he had asked it back then.

Is that supposed
to make me feel better?

Maybe this will: Future
you is gonna get a ride

in Future me's private helicopter.

I should get over there.

This is it right here. Game
time, baby, game time.

Do you know what I mean?

What is he doing here?

What is who doing where?

We're Space Otters.

- Give it to...
- What are you doing here?

He's our new coach.

Coach?

I'm not a coach. I just
came here to see you play.

Bex told me you had a game,
but Jonah and I got talkin'.

(both mimic expl*si*n)

(laughs) You two know each other?

Um, yeah. He's my dad.

Y... Y... Your dad?

Yeah, I should've mentioned that.

We got caught up talkin' plays.

He's new, and he didn't
come with instructions.

Cover blown.

Sorry, guys.

I didn't know you were a disc head.

I me... me, too!

It blows my mind
how much we have in common.

I know. Me, too, but you can't stay.

What? Why not?

You'd be the only one. Parents
don't come to our games.

Nobody comes to our games.

(clears throat)

Except Cyrus.

This is my dad.

Bowie.

It is very exciting to meet you.

(laughs) I like your vest.

You wouldn't if you were wearing it.

It weighs pounds,
but I wear it with pride

as the only official fan
of the Space Otters.

Is this the guy?

What guy?

The one you had to see yesterday?

When you made me
drop you back off at school?

- (laughs) Cyrus?
- Yeah.

No.

Will you point him out
to be me if he's around?

I will not.

- Let's go, guys!
- All: Whoooo!

Let's go, Andiman.

(both laughing)

You're stickin' around, right?

You bet!

But I won't cheer. I will be very quiet.

All: Go team!

(cheering)

I can't believe that's your dad.

He's docious-magocious.

Well, docious, sure, but magocious?

I mean, I just met him.

Something wrong?

No, it's just...

he records everything.

Great, we'll have our first game tape.

(speaks inaudibly)

You're using your milk shake

as a dipping sauce
for your baby taters.

Yup.

That is... genius.

- May I?
- Be my guest.

Milk shake is the new ketchup.

- (laughs)
- (phone buzzes)

It's from Jonah Beck.

Sorry, Jonah.
Still getting used to that.

What's it say?

"Ur"... "U R...

Girly"?

What?

Let me see.

That's what it says.

What does that mean?

I don't understand.

Do you think I'm girly?

So what if you are.

You do think I'm girly!

- Calm down...
- Calm down? Easy for you to say!

Nobody's calling you girly.

No one?

- What are people saying?
- It doesn't matter.

The point is, Jonah thinks I'm girly!

I wanna know. Because if there's
someone saying I'm not girly,

I will end them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's here.

I just wish he was a little less
full of surprises.

He shows up on our doorstep.

He's doing a headstand in AndiShack.

He's coaching my team.

Would it k*ll him to throw me a text?

I admit, he's a bit of a novelty item.

It takes some getting used to.

I wouldn't even care about any of it

if it wasn't so embarrassing.

What does he do?

He has to talk to everybody,
and he won't stop filming me.

And he's asking me personal
questions about guys

and if I like someone!

(high-pitched, softly)
Oh. That's so annoying.

You think it's cute, but it's not cute.

But it's what dads do.

It's their job to embarrass
their daughters.

(knocking on door)

Hey, guys, it's time for dinner.

Did he ever embarrass you?

Never.

Never?

Uh-uh.

He likes to dance.

That's not so bad.

At my piccolo recitals.

Well, that was your fault...

for playing Do the Hustle.

(music playing)

Oh, no. I didn't know
you could embarrass someone

who played the piccolo. (laughs)

Watch and learn.

(laughing)

Ah, dah bah, hah, hey! (laughs)

- Ooh.
- Smells good. What's for dinner?

It's a surprise.

But you hate surprises.

Apparently, not everyone knows that.

Ham: Oh, wow, look at that.

Andi: Wow.

Is that Lop Chung?

I used a recipe from that little
box behind the spice rack.

Hope it's okay.

Chopsticks, in case anyone wants them.

Where did you learn to cook?

Oh, you know, where
anyone learns anything.

Here and there.

CeCe?

Are you okay?

Those are my mother's recipes.

Oh, no... I'm... sorry
if I overstepped my bounds.

I just... Never much of a cook,
so I never made them.

Does that mean we can't eat this?

I don't know. I've never
seen this facial expression.

Of course you can eat it.
I'm just feeling sentimental.

Uh... This is astounding.

Y... You'll show me how to make this?

Sure. I still got hours
left on the clock, right?

Clock? What clock?

- Mom?
- What?

I changed my mind.

Pass me a pair of chopsticks.

(laughter)

- Wow. All right.
- Ah!

All right, I'm having some of...

Buffy: Okay, here's your next ones

Who is the all-time leading NBA scorer?

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

Correct.

Position: center. Height:
Seven feet, two inches.

Nice.

Formerly known as Lew Alcindor.

Signature sh*t: the skyhook.

Okay, okay.

There's no extra credit.

This is just so you can
have a conversation with Jonah.

I just wanna be completely prepared.

Right. And we still have to cover
Super Bowls, March Madness,

and spring training.

It's so hard to be boy-ly.

You can do it, Cyrus.

Just think of yourself like Rocky.

Who?

Adding Rocky to the list.

(laughs)

Are we headed somewhere
or we just wandering aimlessly?

'Cause I'm okay with either.

Oh, we're definitely goin' somewhere.

Back in time.

Yeah, I've made that trip.

Moving back home with my parents,

working for the kid I used to babysit.

Now... walkin' down
the street, with you.

Do you know where we are?

Is this...

The last place I saw you.

The night you left town.

We had a fight.

(exhaling)

I was worried you were gonna
do something romantic.

(laughs)

Can you be serious for a second?

I... don't know.

Bex... I was always planning
to come back to you.

If I have to be serious, so do you.

I wanted it to be when I made it.

And I never did.

Join the club.

Can I?

What?

Join the club.

Yours and Andi's.

Um, you're kind of a lifetime member.

I mean, like... really.

I wanna be a part of your lives.

How? You're a musician.

- You live on the road.
- I don't have to.

I can do something else.

Like what?

I have to figure that out.

But first, I wanna know
if you're okay with it.

- I can't speak for Andi.
- I'm not asking you to.

Just speak for yourself.

What do you want?

Honestly?

Yes. Honestly.

Pizza.

Aren't you starving?

'Cause I am.

Me, too, actually.

Is Vinnie's still here?

Yeah, of course.
Only it's called Tony's now.

- Hm, Tony's.
- Yeah.

- Mm.
- (laughs)

♪ Flying gets harder as you fall ♪

♪ Gravity holds... ♪

Buffy: Okay. Handshake.

Wrong handshake!

Right, right, sorry.

- Take it from the top.
- Okay.

Handshake.

Not quite.

It's fine. Okay. Handshake.

Lean in.

Just the torso.

Right, okay. This is... This is the one.

I can feel it.

Going again.

Handshake.

Lean in.

Wrap... and pat.

How was that?

If Jonah was a glass figurine, great.

Okay. Handshake.

(computer keyboard clacking)

Boom!

- (knock on door)
- What? I'm doing homework.

Jonah on computer: Boom!

- Is this a bad time?
- Jonah on computer: Boom!

Aaahh!

Boom!

Boom!

What are you doing here?

Your dad sent me up to get you, and
we're watching the game video!

He thought you'd wanna join us.

No, thanks.

Should I go?

Yeah! Yes, please, that'd be great!

(thuds)

He's ruining my life.

He's not ruining your life.

You two are just figuring
out how this works.

It doesn't!

Right. He can be very intense,

but his heart's in the right place.

I know, but I just need a break.

I need some breathing room. I just
need to sit here and do this.

(knocking on window)

Hey, can I grab you a second?

I'm working on a belt in here!

Okay.

Steppin' away.

Well, I am working on a belt.

(whispering) Don't wave. Do a guy nod.

And don't touch your hair.

(whispering) But my forehead is lonely.

You look really good.

Meaning what? I usually look bad?

No, just that I did a good job.
You're my creation.

Cyrus two point bro.

Jonah. He just walked in.

This was just supposed to be
a test drive. I'm not ready!

Guy nod.

- But he waved.
- Do it!

He's coming over.

You're on. Make me proud.

New look, Cy-Guy?

You know it, Jo... Jo-lama-jama.

Uchh...

(laughs) You cr*ck me up.

And I love it when you come to the

games in that vest with all the swag.

You got my text, right?

Y... You mean the one
where you said I'm girly?

- What?
- Your text.

You wrote... "U R girly."

That's some stupid auto-correct. It

was supposed to be "You're gnarly."

I'm gnarly.

- Now, when you say "gnarly"...
- You're cool, man,

and can we just leave it at that?

Cool. Yeah.

We can leave it at cool.

Did you see that?

I'm very proud.

(inhales) Ah. Ah!

They're still warm.

Oh my gosh.

Bowie?

He obviously feels really, really
bad about embarrassing you.

Where is he?

Around here somewhere.

Listening to us rave about his
incredible baking skills.

Well, if you see him,
tell him I'm in my room,

and I'm done with my belt.

I can't believe you
finished that already.

Yeah. I might have
a slight addiction to duct tape.

Nothing I can't handle.

What are you doing?

Uh, nothing.
I... W... I... I'm making a...

I'm sorry.

What's going on?

He's sitting there on my computer,

going through my pictures!

I'm sorry.

You invaded my privacy,
and you embarrassed me,

and I don't know
what you're going to say

or what you're going to do,

and it's too much!

I... I wanted to surprise you.

No more surprises!

Just leave me alone.

Okay.

What was he thinking?

What was he doing?

There's one way to find out.

Is it okay if I look?

Yeah, whatever. I'm gonna
burn it in a dumpster fire.

(sigh)

Here it is.

- (soft rock music playing)
- Hey, Bowie here.

Big news.

I just became a dad.

♪ No, I've never seen nothing like you ♪

Bowie: This is my little girl, Andi.

Gosh, she's beautiful, isn't she?

♪ I've searched across the universe ♪

♪ Seen many things
so beautiful, it's true ♪

♪ But I've never seen
nothing like you ♪

Are you crying?

No.

Bowie: I've spent a long
time in my life wondering,

was I ever gonna leave
my mark on the world.

Now I know... I am.

I've only known her two days.

But I honestly can't remember what
my life was like without her.

Bowie!

♪ No, I've never seen nothing like you ♪

Bowie!

♪ No one else makes
me feel like you do ♪

Bowie! Bowie!

♪ I've searched across the universe ♪

♪ Seen many things
so beautiful, it's true ♪

♪ But I've never seen nothing like you ♪

Andi: Next, on Andi Mack...

Did Jonah just pretend not to see me?

That was an actual ghosting.

I've never seen one in person.

You get a real sparkle in your eye

when you're overconfident.

I like it.

(heavy metal playing)

What?

My worst nightmare is happening.

Bex: What's happening?

She's turning into you,

and I can't watch.