04x20 - Liar, Liar

[bunniefuu]

And they all lived happily ever after.

Did you enjoy the story?

Yeah!

What makes a good story?

It sounds real, even if it's just made up.

Excellent answer. What else?

It's fun to listen to.

Mm-hmm.

You can learn something from it.

All excellent answers.

Well, this is Library Week, and your teacher has asked me to give you a little assignment.

I want each of you to create a story that you can tell the rest of the class here in the library tomorrow.

Just a short story.

No more than a couple of minutes.

And I'm going to judge which of the stories is best.

And the winner will have his or her name posted on the bulletin board and receive a cash prize of five dollars.

What story are you gonna tell? I don't know.

But lots of stuff happens around my house. It shouldn't be too hard.

Nothing happens around my house.

At least nothing I'd like to talk about.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll come up with something.

Just use your imagination.

It'd be a lot easier if I could just use your imagination.

I'm sure you'll come up with something.

And if you don't, I'll help you.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Sounds wonderful.

Okay, well, I'll look forward to hearing from you.

All right. Thank you for calling.

Yes! Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Annie, I'm home.

Thanks. Mm-hmm.

Guess what?

I knew there was a "guess what" coming.

We're gonna be featured in the family section of the newspaper.

We? All of us?

Yes. All of us.

Sam Robbins called me today, and, uh, you know that section of the newspaper where they feature a family?

Well, it's going to be us.

Unless you don't want to do it.

No! No, of course I want to do it.

Sam wants to take it from the angle of what it's like to be part of a minister's family, and he wants to show that we're just regular family folks just like anyone else, but, you know, that kind of image... just really helps draw people into the church.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hi, Mom. Oh, hi, Matt.

Hey, guess what? We're going to be featured in the Sunday section of the paper.

Wa-- by "we" you don't mean me, do you?

Well, yes, of course. You are part of the family.

The part that doesn't live there.

The part that doesn't sleep here.

Why wouldn't you want to do this?

I don't know-- because it's one of the perks of being out on my own.

Uh, again, uh, because, perhaps, I was too subtle.

You are not out on your own.

And even if you were, this is great publicity for the church.

Yeah, that depends on which way it goes.

It's going to go fine.

The newspaper could have chosen any family and minister in town-- they chose us.

Well, there's got to be a reason.

Well, I'm sure there is.

Well, you might want to find out what it is because you know how these reporters are.

You know, they have a way of digging up family dirt.

We don't have any family dirt. What family dirt?

I don't know and I don't want to know.

And I don't want anyone else to know either.

Well, do me a favor, just be available when this guy calls, and, like, answer a few questions.

If that's what you want.

Yes, that's what I want.

Oh, the reporter's name is Sam Robbins.

I called to talk to Mom.

Oh. Whoa.

Okay. Hi.

Hey, what's the best way to get a bloodstain out of a shirt?

Why? What happened?

You didn't get sh*t or something?!

Yes, and my first concern is my shirt.

That's not funny.

No, I've got a friend here who took the Band-Aid off from her blood test a little sooner than she should have, and now she has a little bloodstain on her shirt.

Well, a little soap and cold water should do it.

That's all? A little soap and cold water.

Yeah, that should do it.

Great, thanks.

All you have to do is put a little soap and cold water on it; that'll take it right out.

My Mom just told me the same thing.

Thank you. Thank you both.

I should've known better.

I'm sorry to have caused you such trouble.

Oh, it was no trouble.

You've both been very helpful.

Here, I'll walk you out to the parking lot.

Oh, that's okay, I'll take her.

I was going that way anyway.

Okay.

Oh, the patient parking lot is down the hall and off to the right?

Left. Down the hall and to the left.

Good-bye, Mrs. Bronstein. Bye, Matt.

So, I hear your husband is on the hospital board.

Yes, for 20 years now. Oh.

Matt Camden is so nice.

I think he's a lovely addition to the hospital staff, don't you?

It seems that way, but... well, I'm new here and I have heard some people say he's a little... unstable.

Unstable?!

He just insists on doing everything himself.

I mean, he just takes on too much.

Works too many hours and, as a result, he's a little... erratic.

I mean, you never know when he'll snap.

People are a little afraid of him.

Hey, guess what?

We're going to be featured in an article in the Sunday paper.

Guess what?

We don't want to be.

No, it'll be fun.

No, it won't.

Believe me, I have learned how to stay out of trouble, and this isn't it.

I agree. It's trouble.

Trouble.

Do you really want a reporter talking to me?

Think about it.

Why don't we wake up Sam and David.

They can't feed themselves yet, so maybe they'll feel obligated to see things my way.

Let me handle this.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey.

I have some bad news for the four of you.

You are going to do this newspaper interview for your father and you're going to it well.

Now I want each of you to think about what you're going to say ahead of time.

And make sure that whatever you say doesn't cause anyone any trouble.

Mom and Dad just have no idea what the real world is like.

Getting involved with the press is a bad, bad idea.

They must have been so busy with church that they just missed the entire White House scandal.

Yeah. Monica has sure lost a lot of weight.

So have women who have morals, but you don't see them held up as role models.

Do you?

And do you know why?

Because no moral women are on diets?

This conversation is way too adult for you to be included.

What? Who's Monica?

Well, she's a spokesperson for a diet company and she sells handbags.

Well, how do Mary and Lucy know her?

Because everyone knows her.

She worked for the government and she used to be in politics.

What's the difference between government and politics?

Well, the government is the law.

And politics is the way we get around the law.

I have to go.

I have crossed the line of which I had so long been dreaming.

I am free.

And you are here to welcome me to the land of freedom.

I was a stranger in a strange land.

That doesn't even make any sense.

Not to mention that there's something so wrong about that.

That's from Harriet Tubman, isn't it?

Yeah, it's Harriet Tubman-- misquoted, updated and completely ruined.

He's just trying to use her work to try to get the African-American voters, and it's so insulting that he would think that African-Americans can be so easily fooled.

You don't see the black candidate up there quoting Dr. Seuss.

Well, no, but white people can appreciate Harriet Tubman.

Appreciation is one thing, using is another.

Look, I'm too tired to argue about it.

I just got off a 12-hour shift and some new orderly, Elizabeth, keeps following me around and taking notes on everything I do.

I think she likes me.

So?

So, I don't want to be liked.

I just want to do my work.

Maybe she just wants to do her work, too, and she doesn't know how to do it.

Why are you being so selfish?

Why can't you just teach her what you know?

Isn't that what we're all here for?

To learn from each other.

You aren't dating Harriet Tubman, are you?

I know-- no longer living.

But a lot of your dates are like that.

Hon?

I-I don't know why you're driving yourself crazy.

I don't think the guy's going to go all around the house, he's just going to sit in the living room.

You never know. He may want to come in here for a picture.

Picture of what? I don't know, but when he does, it'll be all neat and clean.

Do you think the bed would look better over under the windows?

No.

Hmm? No. No.

I'm very excited that we're going to be featured in the paper, but I don't want any of us to make this so important that we make ourselves crazy.

By "crazy", do you mean me?

No, no, no, of course not.

It's just that I know you only rearrange the furniture when you're feeling anxious and I don't want you to feel anxious 'cause I know everything's going to be fine.

Of course it will.

Do you have any idea why the kids have been running back and forth to each other's rooms all night?

Oh, I told them to make sure they each come up with something nice to say to the reporter.

They're probably just letting each other know what wonderful things they're gonna say about you. Yeah.

Well, thanks. I hope you're right.

I need one more promise.

Promise that you won't say anything about my meeting a guy when I was doing community service for getting arrested.

I already promised I wouldn't say anything about the arrest.

And you won't say anything about you know who?

Promise.

Because that might not look good either.

Promise.

And besides, I don't need a reminder that the best place to meet a guy might not be community service.

Promise!

Promise.

Promise.

But don't say anything about the time I cut Sarah's hair.

Promise.

Or the time I gave the twins eggs for their birthday.

Promise.

Or the time I drew a naked man for art class.

Oops.

Promise.

Just don't mention anything about my boyfriends.

Promise.

Or Jimmy, or Rod, or Jordan, promise.

Or Rick, or Andrew Nayloss.

I promise.

I thought of something else.

And don't tell this guy I got suspended from school for giving the finger.

Promise.

Promise.

Get Ruthie.

Uh, get Mary.

I just wanted to make sure that each of you was thinking about what I said earlier.

And that you each know what you are going to say and what you are not going to say.

We've been doing nothing but that all night. Yeah.

All night.

Promise?

Promise. Promise.

Promise. Promise.

Thank you.

Help.

Oh.

Uh...

The brake stuck.

Thanks.

Are you on your way to pick up a patient?

Yes. You should swap this chair out first-- that brake might be a problem.

I don't have time.

Elizabeth, take the time.

You don't want to wait until you actually have a patient and have something go wrong-- It'll take you two seconds.

Weren't you supposed to get Mrs. Thomas down to X-ray?

Uh, no, Matt Camden was supposed to take her.

But, I saw him heading down to the room with this chair and I noticed it had a brake problem, so I told him I'd swap it out for him.

Then he yelled at me for making him late, and I told him he simply wasn't taking any patient anywhere in this chair.

Thank you Elizabeth, I appreciate that.

Maybe I should have a talk with Matt. Oh, uh, I'd be careful, if I were you.

He has a really nasty temper.

I think he's putting in a few too many hours.

Did you come up with a story yet?

Yeah, did you come up with one?

No, I didn't.

What's your story?

It's a good one.

My Aunt Julie used to drink a lot.

And she hid it from everyone.

And when she stayed at our house she hid a liquor bottle in her suitcase.

And, one day, when she was drinking she yelled at my brother, my Mom threw her out.

And then my Dad helped her to stop drinking and sent her to a place where doctors could help her.

And she got all better.

She got a job at a high school, teaching and met a doctor and fell in love with him.

And then they got married and had a baby at our house.

She decided to name the baby Erica.

Eric after my dad, and "a" after my mom Annie.

And they lived happily ever after.

Wow, that's a great story.

I sure hope Mrs. Beasley thinks so.

Why don't you tell me something about your life and I can help you come up with a story.

No, that's all right.

I'll think of something.

Really, I'll help you.

I'm good at this sort of stuff.

No, I should really do it on my own.

Hello?

Hello, Annie.

This is Sharon Peacock at Glenoak Hospital.

Oh, hi Sharon. Is anything wrong?

No, no, nothing's wrong, I just called to chat.

Um, I understand Matt is working for you now.

Well, yes, he is.

Are you sure there's nothing wrong.

Nothing's wrong.

But before something goes wrong, I thought I'd just give you a little friendly call to let you know that I'm a little bit concerned about Matt.

Well, have you talked to Matt about this?

Who wants to go next?

Chrissy, why don't you tell your story.

My Aunt Judy used to drink a lot.

And she tried to hide it from everybody.

But she came to stay with us and she couldn't hide it anymore.

'Cause, one day, she drank so much, she yelled at my brother.

You don't even have a brother!

Ruthie Camden, I don't want to hear anymore outbursts like that, young lady. But she...

Go on, Chrissy.

So, my dad, he's a doctor, he saved her life by getting her to quit drinking.

And she married a lawyer and they had twins and they lived happily ever after.

Isn't that a wonderful story.

I think that Chrissy may be a contender for the cash prize.

I kept the car today to run some errands and I was in the neighborhood so I thought I'd just, you know, drop by and see if we could have lunch.

Well, I... I don't have time.

What are you doing in the neighborhood?

Uh, trying to send something to Julie by way of Hank.

What? What?

What are you sending?

Hey, what is this, the third degree?

You know, I just thought maybe we could have a bite together.

Oh, I get it. This is about the reporter, isn't it?

Yes.

Don't worry, he called this morning, I set up an appointment.

He's gonna come by the apartment tonight.

Are you sure?

You're probably really tired when you get home-- working and going to school and everything.

No, really, it's okay.

I told Dad I'd talk to him and I'll talk to him-- I don't mind.

What?

Are you afraid I'll say something stupid?

No. No, not at all.

I just appreciate you doing this interview with everything else you have to do today.

Well, you didn't have to drive all the over here.

I'm happy to do it.

I'm-I'm not happy, but I'll do it.

Well, only if you feel like it.

Pre-med is a tough major and you are working full-time.

Should you be working so many hours?

I love work.

For the first time in my life, I really love work.

It's great. I'm doing really well.

I'm sure you are.

But it must be stressful working around so many sick people.

I kind of realized I'd be around sick people when I signed up.

It's a... hospital, you know.

Yeah. Okay, okay.

Just... please, don't work so hard.

You're young, you should enjoy your life.

Find time to relax a little.

Is there something else going on?

Am I dying or something?

No, no. I'm just being a mom.

Just... just checking in on you.

So I'll go now.

Just take it easy and, uh, don't work too hard.

Hi, Matt.

The guy's a zombie.

Which I prefer, by the way, to his other personality.

Hey, I just saw your mom.

She said I should keep an eye on you-- you all right? I'm fine.

That's what I told her.

What you doing after work?

I have class.

I have to do this interview for my Dad.

I was hoping you'd come with me.

I have a meeting with that crackpot politician we saw on TV yesterday.

Oh, yeah? Well, what are you going to say?

Just tell him how I feel.

Confront him directly.

About the poetry.

Not just about the poetry.

It's about laying claim to the black man's experience, all right?

Or the black woman's experience, as the case may be.

Well, sorry I can't be there.

Has there actually been a heated discussion about poetry in this century?

Oh, your mom gave this to me to give to you.

Oh.

I knew it. dr*gs!

He's on dr*gs, that's why he acts so crazy.

Sam, hi.

Come on-- Whoa.

Come in. Thanks.

Pull up a chair.

Glad you had the time to meet with me.

I know how busy you must be.

Well, you know, I'm...

I'm honored that you would feel that my family is worthy of the family section of the Sunday paper.

It's something I've always enjoyed reading myself.

I've run across person after person who knows either you or Annie or one of the kids.

It seems that everyone in Glenoak knows you.

And I want you to know that you don't have to worry.

This is... isn't some sort of expose.

I'm going to show you the story before it goes to press, so you'll have complete approval of both the copy and the pictures.

Well, that certainly puts me at ease.

Why's that?

Just with, uh, seven kids, five of them who talk, the odds are pretty good that someone will say something that, uh, might not look so good in print.

Kids are like that.

I cannot wait to meet them.

Yeah. Gosh.

Fortunately, my dad knew someone, who knew someone, and they got me into this work program so I didn't have to go to jail.

And that's where you met the boyfriend?

I knew he couldn't be trusted.

My dad told me that he couldn't be trusted.

Yet he let you date him.

He believes in letting us make our own mistakes.

And I make a lot of mistakes.

I went out with Rick, Mary's old boyfriend's brother, after Andrew Nayloss.

After Brad, but before Andrew Nayloss the second time, which wasn't really a date.

He just insinuated himself into the date with Brad.

How's Dad with all these boyfriends?

He can't stand them.

But that's not his fault... or their fault.

I'm the one that can't be trusted.

Wait, that didn't come out right.

Oh.

Thanks.

But your dad said you were just being one of the guys.

Exactly, but they kicked me out of school for it, anyway.

Of course, that gave us an opportunity to spend some quality time.

When were you expelled?

Uh, suspended.

That's practically the only time I ever gotten in trouble.

Practically?

Well, I tried smoking cigarettes.

T-That's normal for a guy my age.

Oh, yeah!-- and I gave Deena-- that's the girl I'm in love with-- a big hickey.

I had to stick around the house a few weeks for that one.

But Dad was pretty understanding about that, too.

I mean, why wouldn't he be? He has seven kids.

Why don't you reload while I talk to Sam.

Okay.

So, nobody told you that I cut Sarah's hair or I gave the twins eggs or I drew a naked man?

Nope. Good for them.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah. I wasn't even thinking when I told this Chrissy my story.

And even if I was thinking, I wouldn't think she'd steal my story.

I couldn't believe it.

She doesn't even have a drunk Aunt Judy.

But you do?

Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you.

My Aunt Julie is my Dad's drunk sister.

But he made her all better.

He stayed locked up in his bedroom with her for days.

That's how he sobers people up.

How did it go?

It didn't. I spent two hours down at that guy's campaign headquarters just to find out he was across town making a speech.

And if that speech has one word of Harriet Tubman's work in it, I'm going to hunt him down tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind.

I've got to do that newspaper interview.

The guy's going to be here any minute.

Oh, gosh, I don't want to be here to watch you screw that up.

Maybe I'll just go back down to the hospital and dig that tape out of the VCR in the waiting room.

Well, if you feel like digging, why'd don't you help me find the apartment that's under all this mess.

Well, it's our apartment, but I think it's your mess.

Too late.

Hello.

Hey, I'm Sam Robbins.

Matt, and this is my roommate John.

Hey, John. Mm-hmm.

Good night, you guys.

Wait, aren't you going to help me clean up here?

I didn't help you make this mess in the first place. Good night.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

No, no, no...

What are you writing?

He didn't spend five minutes with me.

I'm a little insulted.

Oh, you shouldn't be.

He didn't spend five minutes with me or any of the rest of us, either.

Well, how, how is he going to get his story out of five minutes with each of us?

I have no idea.

But, thank heavens, I get a first look at it.

Oh, when's that going to be?

Sometime tomorrow.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Beasley.

Yes, of course, I know who you are.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. I see.

All right, well, we'll certainly speak to her about that.

Thank you for calling.

Did you know anything about Ruthie getting in trouble in the library today?

No. I didn't even know the living room furniture had been rearranged.

Oh. Sorry about that.

Um, Sharon Peacock called in the middle of rearranging, and so I just left it and took off to the hospital.

She goes to our church.

She's Matt's new boss. Sharon, Sharon Peacock.

I know who she is. She called because...?

Because... Okay, I should have told you earlier.

But when I got home, you were with Sam, and I just didn't get a chance to tell you until now.

So anyway...

Well, Sharon thinks that Matt's showing some signs of stress.

She thinks he's working too hard with school and work and everything.

Did she talk to him about it?

She can't. She's his boss.

Ruthie, Mrs. Beasley just called to tell me about something that happened in library class today.

Do you want to tell me about it?

Nah, I was really mad about it, but once I talked to Sam, I pretty much got it out of my system.

Oh, we'd still like to hear about it.

Basically, I told this rat-fink Chrissy, the story I was going to tell in class.

And then this rat-fink Chrissy tells my story.

Just stole it from me and she didn't even tell it that good and she still won the five dollar prize.

Which you then tried to take away from her.

I didn't try to take it away from her for me.

I tried to get her to give it back to the library because she cheated and she shouldn't have won the money.

And what story is it that you think Chrissy stole from you?

The one about Aunt Julie being a drunk and Dad making her all better.

And her getting married to a doctor and naming the baby after you guys.

And you mentioned this to Sam Robbins?

He said if Chrissy were an adult, I could probably sue her.

But since we're both kids, he's afraid it's just tough luck.

So, what else did you say to Sam?

Nothing, except about Aunt Julie.

I may have mentioned getting arrested, and that I met Robbie when I did community service.

But I didn't say anything bad about Dad.

Oh. Okay.

Other than maybe he had connections who had connections who helped me out.

All I told him was that I had a million boyfriends and I got caught making out.

But I didn't say anything bad about Dad.

Other than maybe he doesn't trust anyone.

I told him I got suspended from school.

But I didn't say anything bad about Dad.

Other than maybe implied that he said all guys give the finger.

Uh, I'm going to go straighten out the furniture in the living room.

And, um, the kids are going to help.

We're going to put it all back.

All back, just the way it was.

Come on. Finally.

I have a dream!

You do not have a dream!

You do not have a dream!

You do not have a dream!

Where do you get off saying you've got a dream?!

You have no dream!

You...

What?

I warned them, your mother warned them, but still...

...they said all the wrong things.

Don't worry about it, the guy seemed pretty harmless to me.

You know, I stick to, uh, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Define "anything at all."

You know...

... um, okay, I might have mentioned that I had to move out of the house.

Because...

Because...

I'm grown up now, I'm a man.

I had to get out... to be, you know, a man.

A man doesn't live in a garage or an attic.

What manly things are you doing here that you can't do in a garage or an attic?

I don't know, nothing?

I entertain.

Entertain.

Women.

What women?

Women friends.

Friends who are women.

Friends.

So, you basically told him that you had to move out because you have to entertain the many women friends you have in your life.

Yeah, what's the big deal?

I don't know.

Does Shana have any women friends who might tell her about... your many women friends or any women friends who can send her a newspaper?

Yeah, but we broke up.

I mean, I mean, you know, we didn't break up but we're...

You're free to see other people.

This is all your fault, you know.

I told you they'd get the dirt.

No one wants to read about a squeaky-clean family.

Really, because I find that people generally look for squeaky-clean in a minister's family.

What's wrong with entertaining?

What's wrong with a good family anecdote?

Oh, like the other kids told?

I just got fired from the hospital.

Why? Why?

Because, evidently, Matt and I are on dr*gs.

I'm not on dr*gs.

And I'm sure not on dr*gs.

Well, so who said we're on dr*gs?

I have no idea.

Why would anyone even think we're on dr*gs?

Well, I kinda threw a tape at the TV when I saw that politician quote Martin Luther King.

Oh, George Orfield?

Yeah.

Why would anyone think Matt is on dr*gs?

I have no idea.

Your boss called your mother today.

Is that why she came to see me?

Yeah.

And Sharon didn't want to make it official business at work, so, she thought the best thing to do would be to have a casual conversation with your mother, and for your mother to have a casual conversation with you.

Why can't official business just remain official, i.e. my business?

If Sharon talks to you about it then she has to make a note of it on your work record and she didn't want to do that.

But she's concerned that you're working too hard.

Some of the other orderlies think that maybe you're losing your temper a lot or snapping at people.

I haven't snapped at anyone.

I don't understand this.

I am working hard, but I love it, and I'm good at it.

I'm so good at it that I have another orderly following me around practically worshiping me.

Worshiping?

Yeah.

No, no, not that you, in particular, aren't worship-able...

...it's just that everyone has their faults, and so no one is really worship-able.

Other than...

You don't think Elizabeth has something to do with this, do you?

I don't know.

Sharon Peacock wants to see you in her office tomorrow.

Oh, tomorrow should be an interesting day for all of us.

I'm sorry to even have to say anything about this, but I'm afraid I have to.

Some of your co-workers have been talking about the fact that you're working too hard, that you're starting to get short-tempered, and even more than that, someone saw you exchange some money with a possible drug dealer yesterday.

Wait, my mom asked John Hamilton, my roommate, to give me 10 bucks.

That wasn't a drug dealer, that was John Hamilton.

The one who got fired last night for throwing a tape at the television?

He was upset at a politician--

George somebody-- I don't even know.

Orfield?

George Orfield?

The guy who's always stealing words from black writers and making them sound like his own?

He got fired for throwing a tape at that man?

Well, consider him rehired.

Oh, just a sec.

Uh... you might want to hire him back tomorrow.

He's paying Mr. Orfield a visit today.

Well, good for him.

Now... about you, Matt.

What's got you so angry?

I'm not angry, I'm very happy to be here.

The happiest I've ever been-- honest.

Well, do you know anyone that might want to make you look bad?

I know someone who might, but I have no idea why.

Want me to ask her?

No.

I'm not even going to ask her.

Because I'm not the one with the problem.

I'm just going to keep working hard and studying hard and hopefully, one day, I can become a doctor.

Nothing else is really important to me right now.

Good for you, Matt.

And, uh... don't worry about having to make a note in my records about this.

It may be the first, but it probably won't be the last.

Not the first.

There's something in here about you climbing a tree to talk to a patient.

Right.

Hello?

Mrs. Bronstein?

This is Sharon Peacock.

What did you find out?

That you were right.

Matt Camden is a nice young man.

Oh...

I've got to pick up a pack of cigs for Dr. Moses.

Could you get this?

Sure, no problem.

Where's the speech? You got the speech?

I don't have the speech.

In fact, I came to make a speech.

What's the problem?

Kid wants to make a speech.

Mr. Orfield already has a speechwriter.

And a darn fine one-- university student.

Don't try getting in on the minority thing because the student we already have is black.

She's a woman.

I didn't know she was a woman.

A black woman writes your speeches?

Certainly seems that way, yes.

Does she get paid to write the speeches?

Of course she's getting paid.

She's getting paid very well.

What are you implying, anyway?

Nothing at all, honest.

Um, do either of you know who Harriet Tubman is?

Is that the speechwriter's name?

Is that the speech...

Hey, I could use your vote in November!

Stranger in a strange land.

Did you spend your five bucks yet?

No.

Mrs. Beasley called my parents, you know.

Why'd you do it?

Why did you steal my story?

I had to say something.

And you have lots of stories, you said so yourself.

Can't we still be friends?

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow.

Maybe never.

Unless you get some idea of how wrong this was.

But I couldn't help it, I had to do it.

I was pressured into it.

You saw the way Mrs. Beasley looked at me.

No, I just say the way you threw up your hand and volunteered.

But... But forget it.

I don't think you're a bad girl.

I just think you did a bad thing to me.

If you decide you want to apologize, let me know.

I'll be waiting for you in the library, so Mrs. Beasley can hear, too.

So, what do you think?

Do you want to see the pictures?

Sure.

Oh.

Honest, I wasn't trying to do some big expose, but your family is something else.

I take it you're not going to want me to print any of this, are you?

I would prefer not.

Is this your first experience with the media?

No, no, we had a camera crew in the church a couple of years ago, but before I could even start my sermon, Ruthie stuck a Tic Tac up her nose.

I had to rush out and take her to the emergency room.

You're not ready to go public.

Thank you very much for your time.

I hope you'll still join us for church on Sunday.

I'll be there.

Thanks. Thanks.

Thanks.

Bye.

So...

My family.

I'm sorry, I told them not to print it and they printed it anyway.

Honest, I did.

Anyone here get the morning paper?

I... I think most of you know me and my family well enough to know what you see in print there, well, that's...

...the truth.

Yeah.

We're not the perfect family.

I mean, we are far from being the perfect family.

But being the imperfect family that we are, gives us the opportunity to practice unconditional love.

'Cause how easy it would be... just to love perfection.

But to love imperfection, that's the challenge.

And the reward is that.. we learn to love and accept ourselves, and the many other imperfect people who we come across day to day.

Other than that, I have to say that I've virtually been rendered speechless.

Which is fortunate for all of you because we have a very special choir member who is visiting with us today.

And as she sings my favorite hymn...

I'm going to take my imperfect self down there and hug my imperfect family and I hope all of you will take this time to hug your wife and children and anyone else with whom you share life's... difficult challenges.

Wow! That was the best sermon I've ever heard!

Yeah. And the shortest.

And now, on behalf of everyone in Glenoak, I welcome Sandi Patty.

♪ Some glad morning ♪

♪ When this life is over ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ To a home on God's celestial shore ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away, oh, glory ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ When I die, hallelujah, by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ Just a few more weary days and then ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ To a land where joy shall never end ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ I'll fly away, oh, glory ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ When I die, hallelujah, by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ Oh, I'll fly away, oh, glory ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ When I die, hallelujah, by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly away ♪

♪ Oh, when I die, hallelujah, by and by ♪

♪ Hallelujah, by and by ♪

♪ I'll fly ♪

♪ Fly away ♪ ♪ Away ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh! ♪