10x17 - Sundancer Craig in: 30% of the Way to Crying

[bunniefuu]

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Is coloring boring, Dad?

Of course not.

It's so much fun to colorwith you, Megan.

[ Sniffs ]

Let's color some shit[bleep] purple.

Yay! [bleep] purple!

You like my hair, Nancy?

Most girls find it ridiculous.

[ Chuckles ]

Nancy, you cannotgo upstairs with him.

Barb, if I want to go upstairs,

and do stranger things
with Steve,

then you can just wait for me
here, so sober and so alone.

This is all so strange.

Oh, yeah. So strange.

You like my thing?

Your stranger thing.

Take my stranger thing, then.

It's too strange.

Oh, yeah.

Ugh. Totally gonna get
blamed for this, aren't I?

Yeah, I just ordered an Uber.

It's this new cheap
optioncalled "Uber Plow."

Just one more pick-up.

What's happening?

Are you Stephanie?

No! I'm Muriel Van Howl, III.

Okay.

Here we go.

Ah, my hip!

Man: Uber Zeppelin for Muriel.

Yes, that's me.

You like Led Zeppelin?
[ Chuckles ]

I'm just kidding.

I got my old mix
of Billy Joel dubstep.

Oh, shit.

Fun fact... Brothels
wereabundant in ancient Pompei.

Rome minted special coinsfor payments

with pictures of the sexual
actthat the person would pay for.

Some were worth more thanothers,
depending on the act.

Hey, could we get
a flashback on that?

You bet.

Anyone have change for an a**l?

Yeah, I got four missionaries.

Look at all these handjobs.

Sorry, you can't pay for melon
with a reverse cowgirl.

I'd like to buy
your finest orgy.

Okay. This is a missionary coin.

You just drew more people
on here.

That's how it lookedwhen I got it.

It's customary to tipafter a flashback.

A rim job!

Thank you, good sir.

I can't believe
we're gonna swim with sharks.

It seems so dangerous.

Oh, there's the human now!

Don't worry, Sharketta.

They can't hurt us
inside this cage.

Ah!

Ugh, God, Sharkjoe.
You [bleep] liar.

Humans truly are
the bloodthirsty predators

our shark movies
make them out to be.

Wow, that was cute.

Anything happen up here?

Nope.

Them damn space parasite,
yougot to stop taking over my body.

Venom: No. "Hamilton."

What?
What are you talking about?

I want to see "Hamilton."

"Hamilton," the hottest show
in history?

Come on. I'm Eddie Brock,
not the Great Mandrake.

You want me to get
house ticketsor something?

I can barely hold on
to my accent.

"Hamilton."

My God, what a great show!

I had no idea the founding
fathers could rap.

Alexander Hamilton
was not Black,

but it's still incredible.

Meet Lin-Manuel Miranda.

No. There's no way we can... Oh!

Yo, I'm so sorry,
Mr. Lin Miranda.

Lenny La-Mandolin. Oh, don't be sorry.

I'd be surprised if people
didn't sneak in to see me.

I want to touch him.

No, no, no, no, no! Hm.

You say, "I love you."

I love you, Lin.

I love me, too.

[ Screams ]

♪ I am Alexander Hamilton ♪

♪ Alexander Hamilton
is super cool! ♪

And also Venom...
Lin Venom Well-Menanda.

Badum!

Hey,
are you that treethat k*lled Sonny Bono?

Yeah, I got him.
What's it to you?

This is from Cher.

No, no, no, no!

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

Wasn't that fun?

Alright.
For the next part of our show,

we'll need a word
from the audience.

- Impotence.
- Damn it, Carol!

Thanks for taking
a chance on me, sir.

I'm ready to be a star.

Squidward, I'm telling you,
nobody has got what you got.

Okay. Tentacles ready.
And action.

Woman: Oh. Ooh.

Oh, yes, Squidward.

I'm a big, bright, shining star.

It's scared.

[ Cheering ]

Oh, yes. It thinks
it left the oven on.

[ Cheering ]

It's wondering if anyone
saw if the oven was off.

[ Murmuring ]

Narrator: Previously on
"Giraffe Cop"...

You sure this is a safe place
for a drug deal?

Bro, we're on the second floor.

The cops can't touch us up here.

Oh, no! It's giraffe cop!

I'm always sticking my neck
out for you guys.

♪ Who's the badge
who eats chutes and leaves? ♪

- ♪ Giraffe Cop - ♪ Who

♪ Giraffe Cop

Damn right.

Alright, Zico, deal is a deal.

You hand over that space nuke

in exchange for200 Zacdar crystals.

It was a pleasure doing business
with you, Captain Kirk.

The pleasure is all mine.

Oh, and one last thing...

I want to say that
you Zactarians

are the filthiest scumin the galaxy,

and I'm disgustedjust looking at you.

Beam me up, Scotty.

Scotty: There's a transporter
malfunction.

Did you really mean that?

No, no, no, no, no.
It was a joke.

It was what we do, you know,
when you, you know,

you make just friends, just friends.

Why would say that?

Fixed the problem, Captain!

Ha. Because it's true!

You're a planet ofgrade-A shit people.

Beam me up!

Oh, no.

Captain, there's a dingo
in the flip rotator.

Oh, God. Come on, Scotty.

You did mean it!

You think we're shit people.

No, no, no. No, no. It was all me, Zica.

Zica, look at me.
I'm a shit people.

I'm a shit person. I'm shit.

Forgive me. Okay.

I appreciate your apology.

All fixed now, Captain.

Psyche! Adios, shit baby!

Beam me up! Kirk out.

Where's the space nuke, Captain?

Well, uh, crap. It looks like I forgot it.

You'll have to go back.

Yeah, no. No.Um, I can't do that.

Man: Whoa, whoa!

♪♪

What's this?

Well, Solid Snake,
I'm afraid you have scoliosis.

Have you been puttinga strain on your back?

Well, when I want to
be sneaky, I do this.

Where did you go?
Where did you go?

Where did you go?

Where did you go?

Hm, since you didn't pay me
for pied-piping away your rats,

I shall now pied-pipe
away your children.

Oh, no, terrible.

Oh, no, not the children.

No, definitely
not my little Johan.

Oh, Johan. I miss you.

♪♪

Well, hello, there.

I'm Grandmother Willow,
sage spirit of the Earth

that gives advice to Pocahontas
of the Powhatan tribe.

Yeah, we gave them all smallpox.

Oh!

Then, I guess I can
give advice to you.

Oh, here's some advice... Don't be a tree

where I'm building my house.

Ah! Oh, no.

You know, I was thinking,
after dinner tonight,

maybe we could, you know?

Ugh.

She is angry that you only
speakto her when you want the sex.

I don't take advice from tables.

Stupid face in the wood!

I'm gonna stay at my mother's.

She wants you to go after her.

Listen to your heart, and paint
with all the colors of the...

Burn, you stupid face!

You're a real piece of shit,
you know that?

And she's been [bleep]
your neighbor.

Paint with that, assh*le.

And now, for a special
sponsored edition of

"Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,"

please welcome
the Disney Princesses.

"Ariel looks like a fish
with severe mercury poisoning."

Jesus.

Some of my friends died
from mercury poisoning.

"Cinderella is"... that's me...
"as interesting

as a sack of flour that married
into the right family."

Well, [bleep] I was abused.

That's interesting.

"I wanted to see her
make out with the bear."

That was me mum.

How dare you!

Now, you're dead!

So, healthcare...

Every time a bell rings,
an angel gets its wings.

Oh, that's right, sweetheart.

Oh, well, I'm finally
gonna be an angel.

Hold him. Hold him.

Oh! Oh, no! No!

Oh, God, no!

Oh, no! No!

No, no, no!

Oh, it hurts!

Way to go, Clarence.

[ Giggles ]

[ Clarence screams ]

Is there any warrior who wishes
to challenge T'Challa

for the mantel of
the Black Panther?

Very well.
If there is no challenger...

[ "Pink Panther" theme plays ]

♪♪

Pink Panther challenges
Black Panther.

Let the battle begin.

Ow.

[ Grunting ]

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Huh?

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What? Oh!

[ Cheers and applause ]

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What?

Oh, good idea.
I should look nice.

I've been building to thisfor a while.

♪♪

He's had enough.

He has to yield,
or the challenge is not done.

Do you yield?

He does not yield.