05x16 - Joanie's First Kiss

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes,
my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby I

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Happy and free I
- S Oh, baby I

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! I

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

- Of Mice and Men.
- John Steinbeck.

- Death of a Salesman.
- Arthur Miller.

- Canterbury Tales.
- Uh, Chaucer.

Boy, I'm really rolling now.
Go ahead.

- U.S.A.
- Uh . .. Huh'?

- Oh, uh, give it to me.
Give it to me. -Dos Passes.

I thought he did Don Quixote.

- No, that was Cervantes.
- Oh.

For Whom the Bell Tolls.

It tolls for me, Lori Beth.

Okay, Rich, this is it.

Your dream come true, buddy.

-(Alfred laughs)
- Hey, Al.

- Hi. Hi. Hi.
- Al. -Hi, Al.

Okay, what are you going
to have, huh? Richie?

Nothing for me, Al.

Me, either.

Oh, me, either.

Me, either.

Three "me, eithers"
and one "nothing for me, Al."

Okay, nobody eats, huh?

And I'm trying
to run a business.

So, you guys are going
to have a party, huh?

A party?
It's not just a party.

W: a parry party!

The biggest!

It's a Potsie and Ralph
extravaganza!

It's a "welcome Hawaii
to the statehood" party.

We sent invitations
all over campus, Rich.

- POTSIE: Yeah. -Yeah, but
I already gave a Hawaii party.

Who cares? It'll bring chicks
to the apartment.

Our own apartment,
wall-to-wall couches.

Lots of making out.

- Oh.
-(chuckling)

Well, that sounds, uh,
kind of Hawaiian.

POTSIE:
Yeah.

What do you think, Lori Beth?

- Uh, well, I guess it's better
than us sh**ting baskets. -Yeah.

Well, I-l like to sh**t baskets.

You know,
she-she rebounds for me.

I'm getting pretty good.

Yeah.

Listen, I got to go
to the sorority house.

- All right.
- Um, I've got kitchen duty.

- All right.
- Okay. -See you later.

- Bye-bye.
- See you, Lori Beth. -Mmm.

See you, Sizzle Lips.

I really like college life.

I'm thinking
about dropping journalism,

and just majoring in lips.

By the way, Sizzle Lips,
can we borrow a couple of bucks?

What for?

For refreshments.

Dip doesn't grow on trees,
you know.

(laughter)

- I still got it.
- You do.

Hi. What's so funny?
Did I miss something?

You sure did.
I told another side splitter.

Oh, good.
I didn't miss anything.

Rich, Mom wants you to
bring home a loaf of rye bread.

Oh, all right.
Uh, with or without seeds?

Seeds? We're going to eat it,
not plant it.

(laughs)

I've still got it.

Hey, Fonzie!

Good seeing you, Fonz.

All right, gentlemen.

All right, introduce yourselves
to Blossom here.

Hi.

She's a bunny
at Happy Harry's Hutch.

Well, I can certainly see
why Harry's happy.

(Potsie laughs)

A bunny?

I thought
she was a shapely Q-tip.

(laughter)

That's it, that's it.

Put your eyes back
in your sockets, all right?

I got a message
from your mother.

She wants you to come home
with a... a loaf of rye bread.

RALPH:
Fonz, this is your lucky day.

Because this Saturday, we are
having a blast at our apartment.

It's our "welcome Hawaii
to statehood" party.

And you and your friend
are invited.

- Saturday, huh?
- RALPH: Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you something,
gentlemen.

I'm very sorry I can't make it.

Saturday, I'm taking Blossom
to dinner.

I want to see just about
how much bunny she really is.

Order her a salad.

Come on, Fonz.
Our party's going to be better.

It's a college party.

- A college party?
Are you kidding? -College?

Oh, I just love
intellectual men.

Oh, please, Fonz, let's go.

Well, I'll tell you something.
I...

We're going.

All right, all right.

You know,
it's a come-as-you-are...

or less, party-

You're all set.

- Hey, uh, Ralph, Ralph.
- RALPH: She's all set.

Yeah, right.
Uh, stop panting, will you?

Because you're going
to wilt her ears from there.

Listen, why don't we hop over
to my place? You get it?

Hop over to my place?
Hop over...

Whoa!

RALPH: Come on, Pots, let's get
over to the fraternity house.

- All right. Bye, Rich.
- See you.

We got to borrow some things
for the party.

(indistinct crowd chatter)

Richie, Richie, guess what.

- What?
- Guess who asked me out.

- Who?
- David O'Dooley.

Oh.

He's a senior,

and, uh, he's an editor
for the high school paper.

He's such a hunk.

Oh.

Yeah, well,
that's-that's terrific.

He's got a car and everything.

- A car?
- Yeah.

This is going to be a car date?

Well, I don't know.

Dad's not going
to be thrilled about that.

- You know how protective he is.
- Oh.

He's no problem.
l-I'll think of something.

HOWARD:
You what?!

Definitely not!

You are too young to car-date.

But Richie was younger than me
when you let him go.

Tell him, Mom.
Get up and tell him.

Oh... yes, he was younger.

Well, they've
got you there, Dad.

Well, that's different.

I mean, Richard is
a-a-a... a boy.

Oh, what's that got
to do with it?

Yes, dear, she's right.

What has that got to do with it?

- Marion.
- Well...

Get over here.

Didn't you have a talk with her
about that?

Oh, that.

Well, I told her everything.

Everything?

Well, everything
I could remember.

That settles it.

You are absolutely not going.

I will not have
a daughter of mine

-out car-dating
with some... gigolo! -Oh.

Well, Dad, David's not a gigolo.

Uh, he's a senior.

Yes. And Joanie says
he is a hunk.

JOANIE:
Mm-hmm.

A hunk?

Oh, Howard, he sounds
like a very nice boy.

HOWARD:
A hunk?

And I wasn't any older
than Joanie

when you and I used to,
you know, spoon.

You were a hunk.

Well, you two talk this out.

I got to cram for an exam.

This isn't fair.

I mean, you let Richie go,
but you won't let me.

Now, when I was ,
you said I was too young.

When I was a freshman, you said,
"Wait until next year."

Well, it's next year,
and you still won't let me go.

Dad, don't you trust me?

Of course I trust you.

Okay, you can go.

But I want to meet
this young man first.

Is that fair enough?

- Yeah, you can meet him.
- Okay.

Thanks, Dad. Oh, wait until
Jenny Piccalo hears about this.

No, I don't know
where we're going, Jenny.

I was so excited,
I forgot to ask.

-(doorbell rings)
- Oh, my gosh.

Oh, oh, uh, he's here.
I got to hang up. Bye.

Mom, Mom, he's here.
He's here. He's here.

- Oh, oh, I'm so excited.
- Oh, no. Wait. Here. Here.

- Now, don't... don't act
so excited. -Okay.

Try to be a young lady.

Okay.

Oh, well...

Hello, Chachi.

It's always nice
to see that smile of yours.

Hi, Mrs. C. Here's
the prune pitter you ordered.

The prunes will be here
next week.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, yeah, the holiday season
is coming up.

And this prune pitter
makes the perfect gift.

Oh, I already have a gift
for Howard.

Well... maybe Mother Kelp
could use a couple of these.

Wah, wah, wah.

Thank you. I feel kind of...
wah, wah, wah.

I've got a big date.

Oh, yeah? Who is he?

His name is David O'Dooley.

That wimp?

What does he got
that I haven't got?

Well, he's older, he's taller,
he's a senior, and he has a car.

Besides that.

Come on, Chachi.

I'll give you some milk
and crackers.

I would give you some rye bread,
but Richard forgot it.

(Richie humming)

Party time. (laughs)

Hey. Hi, Joanie.

-(laughter)
- Uh,

well, I-I'm doubling
with Fonz tonight.

He's taking Blossom.

Only one girl?

Must be a slow night.

Hey, that's great.

Drink your milk.

All right, let's get this show
on the road.

Hi, Fonz.

Hey, Joanie, how come
you look so... so tonight, huh?

Well, it's my first real date...

in a car... and everything.

All right, hold it!

Did you say car date?

Are you old enough?

Look, uh, there are some tricks
of the trade

you got to know, see, and, uh,

I'm going to give them to you
right now.

Oh, I already know
all that stuff.

Jenny Piccalo has
an old car seat on the porch.

No, no, no.

(mutters)

Joanie, that is offense.

I'm going to give you defense,
all right?

Now, you drive, I'm Joanie.

I'm your date, all right?

- All right.
- Here we go. -Oh.

Plant yourself, plant yourself.

- I'm driving.
- You're driving. Here we are.

(imitates engine revving)

(imitates tires squealing)

Hold it! Hold it!

We're playing parked here.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I just... I always get
a little carried away

when I drive
these foreign couches.

(Richie laughs)

(Richie clears throat)

All right, we're on the date,
I'm Joanie.

Here we go. Let's try, uh...

Let's try, "It's, uh...
it's getting very warm in here.

- I got to roll down the window"
routine. -Uh-huh.

I want you to watch every move.

- JOANIE: All right.
- RICHIE: All right.

(Richie clears throat)

(Richie chuckles)

It's really getting
very warm in here.

(in high-pitched voice):
Yeah.

Excuse me.

I have to change the station
on the radio.

(imitating static,
radio stations changing)

(in deep voice):
Hey, this is Wolf man Jack,

telling you not
to touch that girl.

(laughs)

You understand?

That's called changing his tune.

(Richie laughs)

All right.

All right, let's try, uh...

Let's try the old,
um, stretch routine.

- Oh, right. Right.
- Do you know it?

- I always had good luck
with that one. -All right.

Watch every move.

(sighs)
Ah, memories.

Used to call me
Stretch Cunningham.

Yeah, right, just...
stretch, Cunningham.

(yawning)

(inhales deeply)

- Mmm.
-(high-pitched): Ooh!

(high-pitched giggling)

(Richie grunts)

(Richie groans)

Oh, boy, that-that does
bring back memories.

See, but that never stopped
old Stretch Cunningham.

Oh, please, sweetheart.

I was only trying
to give you a kiss.

All right, now, this is
your part, Joanie, all right?

(high-pitched):
Not on a first date!

FONZIE: All right,
you got everything there?

For every action a man's got,

-you got a counteraction,
you dig it? -Why?

BOTH:
What?

Well, I mean,
I've never kissed before.

I'm . I want a...

I want a real kiss.

I want to use... both lips.

(car horn blares)

Oh, there he is.

Mom. Mom. Mom, do I look okay?
Do I look okay?

- Hi. I'm David O'Dooley.
- Hello.

Well, I'm Howard Cunningham,
Joanie's father.

This is Joanie's mother.

Incredible. You look so young.

- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.

-(Joanie chuckles)
- Uh, well, actually,

- I am a few years younger
than Mr. Cunningham... -Marion.

I'm, uh, Chachi Arcola.

A very good friend of Joanie's.

Who is on his way home.

Well, good night, everyone.

If you need me,

you know where I'll be.

Well, we better leave, Joanie.

Oh, yeah.
(laughs quietly)

Uh, we're going
to a Hawaiian party.

- Oh.
- Oh.

Hawaiian.

Well, aloha.

Say something
in Hawaiian, Howard.

Be home early.

Well, have a good time.

- Yeah, bye. See you later.
- Thanks. Nice meeting you.

- Bye. Good night.
- And drive carefully, now.

- Yeah, we will.
- We will.

Aw.

Well, there she goes.

Our little girl,
on her very first car date.

- Isn't it nice, Howard?
-(sighs)

I mean, think back to how it was
when you were young.

(car engine starts)

Stop that car!

Ralph, what's going on here?
It's freezing.

A stroke of luck, Rich--
the boiler busted.

There's no heat
for the rest of the night.

Great party, huh?

Why did you open the window?

Rich, it's called ingenuity.

It's too cold for
a "welcome to Hawaii" party,

so I made it
a "welcome Alaska" party.

I seized the moment. You get it?

Yeah, I-l got it.

Your brain is frozen.

Right, right, right.

Take off your coats, everyone.
Make yourself comfortable.

Alaska, Alaska.

Ralph.

Ralph, you're out of control.

Potsie, uh, are you
gonna let him get away

With this Alaska bit?

Want some ice cream?

You guys make great roomies.

You know, the nights
are six months long in Alaska.

(both laugh)

Good thing I slept late
this morning.

Oh, come on, guys,
it's ridiculous.

At least close the icebox.

(laughs)

I'm freezing.
Can I get inside your coat?

Oh, well, I, uh...

Oh.

Alaska is... nice.

(chuckles)

Oh, now I know why
you go to college.

Yeah, so you can freeze.

- It is cold in here.
- Hey, there's Richie.

(door slams)

Huh?

Oh.

Oh, uh...

Oh, I got it.

- I got it. Oh, good.
- What?

You see, we're, uh... we're
playing charades here, uh...

"Embraceable You."

Yeah, oh, that's a good one.

What a great clue.

Yeah. Yeah, see,
we're playing charades.

- Oh.
- Hey, uh, Potsie.

Potsie, come on,
there are little kids here.

Mm.

RICHIE:
Uh... Potsie. Lori Beth.

Lori Beth, what are you doing?
Come on.

I'm trying to keep warm.

Well, what do you think
the light's for?

- Oh, good idea.
- Uh... Uh, Potsie.

Potsie, come on,
let's-let's play. Let's...

Let's do the next charade,
okay? Come on, anything.

All right: lights, lips, action.

Oh.

- Joanie's here.
- Joanie's here.

Fonz, uh, this
is David O'Dooley.

- Hi.
- Hey, hello, car date.

This here is, uh, Blossom.

She just got off work.

She's a bunny.

Outstanding.

RICHIE:
What are we gonna do now, g*ng?

FONZIE:
All right, let's dance.

You want to dance?

In this cold,
we better keep moving.

(indistinct whisper)

What?

We have to.

We have to set a good example
for the kids. Please. Please.

We're just dancing.

For me.

-(sighs) -Ah. Oh,
that's good, that's good.

(chuckles)

Hmm? Huh?

Huh.

(clears throat)

(whispers):
Fonz.

Not now, Rich.

Got to set an example
for the kid.

Kid.

- Kid.
- Yeah, thanks.

(Snaps fingers)

Kid.

Joanie is ruining the party.

We can't kiss, dance, nose,
snuggle, nothing.

It's just like a regular date.

RICHIE:
All right.

All right, I'll, uh...
I'll talk to her.

POTSIE and RALPH:
Well, talk.

All right, I'm going to.

(clears throat)
Uh, excuse me.

Uh, I need to talk
to Joanie for a second.

- Do you mind?
- Oh, no, sure.

I'll be over at the lightbulb.

What is it now?
Was I dancing too close?

No, no.

Joanie, see,
I'm your brother, and I...

and I have to talk to you.
See, uh...

See, I'm in college now.

Good, Rich,
but I already know that.

What I'm trying to say
is this is a college party.

Now, you two are still
little kids. There's...

Rich, I get it.

You don't want me around.

Hey, that's fine
with me, big brother.

Come on, David, we're leaving.

Oh, yeah, no, uh, I was just
taking my bunny for a walk.

You know, uh...
♪ Da, da, da, de, da, da. ♪

All right, all right,
all right. Look, uh...

Hey, let me ask you a question.

Why you going?

I'm leaving
because of my big brother.

He doesn't want me around
because he thinks I'm a kid.

Well, this is for you.

(blows raspberry)

Did you see what she just did?

Did you see what she
did to me? She went...

(blows raspberry)

Can you believe she did that?
(blows raspberry)

Just like a little kid.

(blows raspberry)

What do you think of that?

(all blow raspberries)

-(car door closes)
- They're here, Marion.

Oh, I knew he'd
bring her back on time.

I wasn't worried.

No?

- Then why are you watering
artificial plants? -Oh.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Oh, you're back.
- Yeah.

Oh, did you have a nice time?

- Mmm, outstanding.
- Yeah.

How outstanding?

Howard.

Oh. Well, uh, I'm glad
everything worked out.

Well, it's time to say
good night, Joanie.

It's after : .

(short laugh)

I'll be up in a minute, Dad.

Well, why don't you
come on up with us?

Howard.

What? Oh.

Well, okay.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Good night. -Good night.
- Good night.

- Good night, dear.
- Yeah, good night.

- It was nice meeting you.
- Good night.

- Oh, nice to have met you, too.
- Thank you. -Good night.

- Good night. -Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night.

(laughs)

Parents.

Oh, yeah.

You sure are pretty.

I am?

HOWARD:
Joanie!

I'll be right up, Dad.

I think my dad was afraid
that you're, uh,

gonna try and kiss me.

He is?

Uh-huh.

- HOWARD: Joanie!
- Ah! On my way, Dad.

(quick laugh)

I guess your dad was right.

Well, uh, guess I better
take you home now.

L-I think I am home.

(both laugh)

- Yeah.
- I am.

Well, uh...

I guess I better go, then.

Oh, oh, uh, uh, yeah,

(laughing):
I'll open the door.

Yeah. Say, uh...

- HOWARD: Marion!
- Oh.

MARION:
Joanie!

Uh...

Thanks for the evening,
and, uh...

I'll see you at school.

- Okay, bye. (laughs)
- Bye.

He's such a hunk.

Oh, hi, Joanie.

I'm glad you're here.

I've been thinking
about this all the way home.

I'm really sorry about the way
things worked out tonight.

L-I realized something, though.

You're getting older,
and chances are

this is gonna be
happening more often.

You know, uh... us running
into each other socially.

So I think we're gonna be able
to... to just work it out.

But I am sorry that
this happened this way.

Joanie?

Are you listening
to my brother-sister talk?

No.

Oh, well, what's the problem?

He kissed me.

My first real kiss.

It was so romantic.

It left a lump in my throat.

A lump?
That-that sounds serious.

Oh, oh, it was.

I got so excited,
I-l swallowed my gum. (laughs)

Well, listen,
we better get upstairs

before we wake up Mom and Dad.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Rich, uh...

do you think I'm pretty?

Well, I think so, but,
you know, I'm your brother.

I'm not sure that counts.

I do know that a lot of guys
think you're very pretty.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Oh, thanks.
- That's okay.

Joanie...
(clears throat)

Do, uh, girls at Arnold's

think that I'm, uh...

you know...

handsome?

Well, yeah, some of them
think you're handsome.

(Richie chuckles)

But I can't imagine why
with all those freckles.

-(laughs)
.l-ley.

-(shrieks)
- HOWARD: Joanie!

Joanie, what's happening?

You gigolo, what are you
doing to my daughter?

- Let's go on upstairs.
- All right.

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby I

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪