05x18 - Richie Almost Dies

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Happy Days". Aired: January 15, 1974 – July 19, 1984.*
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Set during the 1950's, the series revolves around teenager Richie and his family who owns a hardware store and Fonzie, who would eventually become Richie's best friend.
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05x18 - Richie Almost Dies

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes,
my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby I


♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Happy and free I
- S Oh, baby I


♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! I

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

RALPH: Please, Fonz, please!
We've got an emergency here,

my car's got a dead battery,

so we thought
maybe we could hook up

the cables to Al's truck.

Yeah, please, Fonz,
we need the car.

We're taking the Drinkwater
twins to the drive-in.

Oh, yeah?
Well, then why don't you hook up

-the Drinkwater twins?
-(all laugh)

It's funny working with him!

All right, take the cables.

- You just bring 'em back
tonight. -Oh, thanks, Fonz!

All right, they're under there
over the table, by the table.

- You can trust us.
- Yeah. -Thanks, Fonz, thanks.

- Hey.
- No touch, no touch.

- RALPH: Hi, Lori.
- POTSIE: Hi, Lori.

I'd like to introduce to you,
the Wild One himself,

Richie "Wheelie" Cunningham!

Bravo!

Yeah!

You got a bike!

Hey, Rich, Rich,
this is a beaut!

Yeah, isn't it neat?

I just brought it down here
so Fonz could, you know,

check it out,
give me a few tips.

He's gonna love this!
It's the best bike in Milwaukee.

(clanking)

And, Fonz,
uh, what do you think?

It's-it's nice, huh?

First of all, bikes
are not nice, they're cool.

Second of all, you want
to be a big leaguer,

you talk like the big leagues.

Right, Fonz. Well, it is cool.

- I should have done this
a long time ago. -Yeah, yeah.

Richie Cunningham with a bike.

Well, I guess Milwaukee's
big enough for two Fonzies.

There's only one Fonz.
Right, Chach?

- Right, Ralph.
- We were just leaving, Fonz.

- Nice bike, Rich. See you.
- Yeah, great bike, Rich.

No, no, bikes are cool,
they're not nice!

Cool, cool.

Thanks again
for the cables, Fonz.

Follow those clowns,

make sure they don't knot up
my cables, huh?

Right, Fonz. Oh, uh, I forgot.

Rochelle called before.

Rochelle.

What a beauty mark.

I never saw a beauty mark.

And you never will.

Fonz, uh, how'd you like
to double on motorcycles?

Hey, great. Leather's in
the office. We'll triple-date.

Well, Chachi, I doubt if Leather
wants to ride on a motorcycle

that has training wheels.

(laughs)

He's a kid, training wheels...

It's not easy being
second mechanic.

- The cables.
- Right, Fonz.

All right.

Want your first lesson?

- Yeah.
- Man your bike.

Oh, right. Hop on, L.B.

L.B., the owner gets on first.

Oh, yeah.

Where should I put my hands?

Oh, just, uh, keep looking.

How's this?

Oh, yeah, that's cute,
that's cute, okay.

Okay, I'm gonna start it,
uh, key's on,

I, I already got it in neutral.
Here we go.

Not so good, Richie.

No, no, I'll get it,
I'll get it. It's...

Hey.

Do-si-do, and around you go...

We're not doing square dances
here, you understand that?

All right, now assume
it started.

- Oh, all right.
- All right.

(makes revving sounds)

Cunningham... I think you're,

you're exceeding
the speed limit here.

Oh, yeah.

- Now, you're just cruising
down the street. -Right.

Here comes a stop sign.
What are you gonna do?

Okay, uh, here comes
a stop sign,

I'm going to, uh,
put on the brake

and screech to a halt.

(makes screech sound)

(engine idling sound)

- Now what?
- Well, now the cop comes up

and gives you a ticket

'cause you just pulled
the clutch

and went right through
the stop sign.

What, that-that's the clutch?

That's right. Here's your brake
right here.

Son of a g*n, you know
they look exactly alike?

How are you supposed
to know which is which?

Well, one'll k*ll ya.

It'll be good
if I remember that.

Yeah.

Hey, g*ng.

- Hi, Leather. -Hi, Leather.
- How you doing?

I just talked to my agent.
I got a gig tonight.

- Oh, that's great. -That's
great. -Hey, that's great.

Oh, wow, Fonzie,
you got a new bike.

Hold it.

The Fonz don't get a new bike.

Do you think the Lone Ranger
would trade in his Silver?

No, no, no, this is my bike.

All cc's of it.

That's motorcycle talk.

(horn beeps)

That's horn talk.

Listen, Fonz,
the gig is in Waukegan.

Can you give me a lift
to the bus?

- Oh, sure.
- Oh, great.

And then I'll meet Rochelle and
play "Connect the beauty marks."

- Fonz.
- Yeah.

I think I'm gonna take this out

for just a little spin
around the block

before you look it over.
Is that all right?

Yeah, that's cool.
All right, just take it slow.

- Right.
- All right?

I'll be back, we'll spend
a couple of hours together,

you'll be zooming down that road
in no time.

- Oh, that's gonna be great.
-(horn beeps)

The first thing we do when I get
back: disconnect the horn.

Thanks.

See you later, huh?

- Yeah.
- Bye, Fonz.

- Now, you on?
- Yeah.

Okay,

I got past the first part
of getting the bike.

Now I got to get past
the second part,

telling my folks about it.

You didn't tell
your parents yet?

Don't worry.

Wheelie Cunningham
will win 'em over.

Oh, hi, everybody.

- HOWARD: Richard.
- MARION: Hi, Richard.

Hi. Oh, man,
I'm really glad to be home.

Mom, you're really looking good
tonight.

What-- did you do something
to your hair?

Uh-uh, no.

Oh, well,
it's just beautiful. It's...

Dad... Dad...

how was your day
at the store, huh?

Hey, Joanie. Hey,
cute daughter you got there.

You know something, Dad?

You have done an excellent job
raising this whole family.

All right, Richard,
what do you want?

What do I want?

Oh, no, I-l don't want anything.

I'm just full of love tonight.

You're full of something.

Mom, what are we having
for dinner, huh?

You know,
I'll tell you something.

Nobody makes a dinner
like my mom.

- Peanut butter.
- Peanut butter?

Oh, good, good,
I love peanut butter.

Your father ate all the chops.

That's okay, Dad.
I would have given them

to you if I had been here.

Now let's stop this nonsense.

Now tell us what happened, huh?

All right, all right.

I, uh...

(muttering):
I got a motorcycle.

(clears throat)

What, Richard?
I didn't hear you.

I, I just said that I...

(mumbling):
...got a motorcycle.

Will you take your hand away
from your mouth?!

It sounded like you said,

-"I just bought a motorcycle."
- I got a motorcycle.

Well, Richard, y-you should have
asked us first!

That is out of the question!

Now wait a minute.
I think this is pretty unfair.

You know, I'm always being
treated like a kid around here.

Join the club.

- All right, you want fair?
- Yeah.

You give me one good reason

why we should let you have
a motorcycle.

That's easy.
It's very cheap on gas.

- Good point.
- Thanks, Joanie.

But it evens out
with medical bills.

- Will you go to your room?
- Okay, okay.

If you don't want my advice...

Why do you want a motorcycle?

All right, number two,

it's always easy
to find a parking space.

All right, so it's cheap on gas

and you can find
a parking space.

But I absolutely forbid it!

Good, Howard.

"Forbid it"?

"Good, Howard"?

All right, all right,
all right, fine,

you're gonna treat me
like a baby, I'll be a baby.

You want a baby?
Here's a baby!

(subs)

HOWARD:
You want to be a baby?

MARION:
I can't believe this!

I've never seen you act
like this, Richard.

(overlapping chatter)

- That's terrible. -Spending
your own money like that.

L-I love this,
my little stepfamily,

full of spunk and vinegar,
you know.

Here's my bottle of rent.

I don't want to say anything,
but he's sucking his thumb.

Yeah.

That's right, that's right.

They treat me like a baby,
so I'm gonna be a baby.

I'm gonna suck my thumb.

L-I don't think
I'm ever gonna understand

a middle-class family.

Arthur, now Richard is getting
a motorcycle,

and we don't think it's safe.

Now, Mrs. C., wait a minute.
I checked it out.

He's a good driver,
it's in good shape, huh?

Yeah, but it's my son's shape
that I'm worried about, Fonzie.

You know, there are some people

that should not ride
motorcycles.

You know,
I totally agree with you.

Potsie is a good example.

And Richard, too.

No, Richie wouldn't ride right
in the middle of a fruit stand.

Potsie did that?

Yeah. He hit head-on,

right in the middle
of these, uh, honeydew melons.

It took us about an hour
to find his head.

(laughs)
That's funny.

MARION:
Oh!

You see, Richard?

Even Arthur says it's dangerous.

Oh, now wait a minute.
Fonzie did not say that.

He said it's dangerous
for Potsie.

Right.

Walking is dangerous for Potsie.

Now, look, Mr. C., Mrs. C.,
if it makes you feel any better,

I checked out the bike,
I took Richie for a ride,

he did very, very well, huh?

Of course, I suggest

he takes the thumb out
of his mouth, but...

Well...

Dad, Dad, look, I bought
the bike with money

that I saved working
in the band.

Now, you said
that I was old enough now,

you said I was an adult.

No, he just said
you were old enough

to make your own decisions.

Yeah! Well, that's my decision,
to buy a motorcycle.

You're not old enough.

Well, I did say
you were an adult, Richard,

so I guess I at least have
to let you try it.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Is your thumb dry?

Oh. Will be, Will be.

All right, all right,
there you go. That settles it.

Now just do me a favor,
you take it nice and slow.

All right.

And you wear your helmet
and never smile.

But never smile?
Why?

'Cause you get bugs
in your teeth.

(laughs)

Bugs in your teeth...
I don't think it's very funny.

Well, don't worry, Marion.

If Fonzie gave him
some pointers,

I'm sure he's gonna be
just fine.

(motorcycle roars)

(tires squeal,
motorcycle departs)

Man, did you hear that?
Wasn't that terrific?

I would never do that.

That's it, Al, keep it turned.
A little more.

Keep pushing, guys.

Come on, Pots, push.

We've got to get
to the drive-in.

I am pushing.
Chach, why aren't you helping?

Did you ever hear
of child labor laws?

Boy, Pots, you should have
been more careful

with that jumper cable.

Put the fire out, didn't I?

Boys, quit,
quit arguing and push!

We're here, Al.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

(grunts)
Thanks, guys.

Hey, you know, I had
the emergency brake on?

For blocks?

It holds pretty good.

Hey, Fonz! Fonzie!

He's not here.

You brought me to a garage
without a mechanic?

- That's right.
- No sweat.

Chachi, number two mechanic,
is on duty.

Oh, Chachi,
promise me one thing.

You won't take the truck apart
and sell it?

How much do you think
we can get for it?

That's funny.
Even tired, I got it.

I think I know what's wrong
with it, Al.

What a mess, what a mess.

Oh, no problem, guys,
it's in good hands.

Look, Pots, you had to hook
the cable to the carburetor?

I can't believe it.

We finally get a date
with the Drinkwater twins

and we blow up two cars!

(engine starts)

(whooping, shouting)

Drinkwater twins,
Drinkwater twins,

- Drinkwater twins...
- Keep it going, keep it going...

Help, somebody, help!

What happened?

- We crashed!
- What?

- You crashed?
- Are you all right?

Not me. Richie--
he's lying in the street.

He's not moving,
he's not moving!

- Come on!
- Let's go! -Let's go!

- AL: Chachi...
- Let's go!

...you stay with her.

DOCTOR: Your son is
in critical condition.

If he comes out of the coma soon
and regains consciousness,

he should be all right.


If?

No, no, he-he-he didn't mean
"if," Marion,

he meant when he comes
out of the coma.

You-you meant "when,"
didn't you, Doc?

He had a very bad fall,
Mr. Cunningham.

We'll just have to wait and see.

Dear God...

It's a good thing
he was wearing his helmet.

It could have been worse.

Now there's...

really nothing that
you people can do here.

Why don't you just go home?

Well, I-in just a minute.

Oh, Howard, this is all
like a bad dream.

All right now, sweetheart,
he-he's going to be all right.

He's getting the best of care.

Richie will be fine.

Yeah.

Come on, Mom.

Oh, Arthur...

Yeah, I know.

Hi, Red.

I'm right here with you.

How is he?

Well, he's...
not very good, Fonzie,

but there is a chance.

Is there anything I can do?

Nothing.

Come on, let's go home.

JQANE: Thanks for
coming over, everybody.


AL: Let's have something to eat
while we're waiting.


MARION:
Here.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi, Al. -Hi, Al.

Any news?

No change, so far.

No, but he's going
to be all right.

He's-he's a very tough kid.

Sure he is.

Well, I'm gonna
clean this house.

Marion, you cleaned the house
this morning.

Let's have some macaroni
and cheese, all right?

L-I'll have a bite, Al.

I could go for one helping.

- Oh, kids, how they can eat.
- Yeah.

I remember one time Richie...

Changed my mind.
I'm not hungry.

Now listen to me, everybody.

Richard's been in an accident

and he's been badly hurt.

Okay, people get badly hurt

and get sick every single day.

The only thing is,

we always think
it's only gonna happen

to somebody else's family.

Well, now it's happened to ours,

and we have to deal with it.

And right now
that's what I'm trying to do,

and I say that Richard
is going to be all right.

MARION:
Of course he is.

And we're just very grateful

that Richard has
friends that care.

(playing quietly)

II

II

(piano stops)

His condition is stable.

We'll just have to wait and see.

How you doin', Red?

They wouldn't let me stay
before, but I'm here now.

Chachi says hello.
"Hello."

He loves working down
at that garage, you know.

You can't do this, uh, Red.

A lot of people counting on you,
you know.

Your mother,
your father, Joanie...

Ralph, Potsie...

You can't go yet,

you got a whole lifetime
ahead of you, you know?

I mean, you didn't even make

the editor of that
college paper yet.

There's a lot of...
crummy journalism around,

you got to make it all straight.

They need you.

(scoffs)

(choked up):
I need you.

You're my best friend.

I know I never said that before,
but I'm saying it now.

You are my best friend.

And I don't want to lose you.

Hey, uh... sir?

Got to have a little chat here.

It's my best friend Richie.

Now, he's in really bad shape.

Yeah, I know you know that.

But, uh, the world is kind of
going a little wacko, you know,

and, uh, you need...

you need people
down here like him.

(sobbing):
And if you don't, I do.

Now... I can fix a lot
of things, but, uh...

this one is all yours.

So, uh...

let's make a little deal.

You do this for me...

and I'll owe you one.

Heyyy.

(sobbing)

Will you look at that?

He must have
stayed here all night.

Fonzie? Fonzie.

Arthur, it's morning.

Have you been here all night?

Yeah, I guess I fell asleep.

Doctor said it was
all right, though.

Well, you go home now.

Go on home, Fonzie.

We'll tell Richard
you were here.

I don't think
I'm going to leave here.

Well, Arthur, you just go home
now and get some sleep.

Yeah, Marion's right.

Yeah, you're both right,
but I ain't going.

- We're going to stay here...
- Fonzie, it doesn't

-do you any good...
- There's a lot of food at home.

Why don't you just go?
We're gonna be here.

HOWARD: You're not going
to do yourself any good

-by staying here...
- There's food there,

you can go and get some rest.

- HOWARD: Come on, now...
- Will you people quiet down?

You're giving me a headache.

Quiet, Richard,
and don't interrupt your father.

Thank you, Marion.

Now, look, Fon...

Richard!

- Oh, Richard!
- Richard?

- You're okay!
- Are you all right?

- Are you all right, dear?
- Doctor! Doctor!

FONZIE:
Oh, man, it is good to see you.

- Hey! -Oh, you gave us
a terrible scare.

I-ls... is Lori Beth all right?

- Oh, she's fine, just fine.
- Yes.

Oh, good.

Hey.

How do you feel?

Well, uh...

I feel kind of hungry.

Oh...

- That's a good sign.
- Yeah.

Oh, Richard.

Oh, I'm so glad
to see your eyes open...

Heyyy.

All right. All right.

Where there's a will,
there's a way.

All right, try this.

Hmm? Huh?

- Yeah. (laughs)
- Ah.

I told you he'd be
his old self before long.

(clears throat loudly)

- Oh, hello, Mr...
-(yells)

"Oh!
-(g roams)

- Oh, yeah. (laughs)
- Yeah.

- Hi, Mom... Dad.
- Hi, Lori Beth.

Richard,
your motorcycle's fixed.

No, no, I'm not keeping that.

I'm-I'm getting rid
of that motorcycle.

Good.

Yeah, you know, I wanted

one of those for so long,

and then when I got it,

I was scared to death
to ride it.

I don't know,
I-l just don't think

I'm suited for a motorcycle.

Well, it wouldn't
have been much fun

at the drive-in anyway.

I would have had to hold
the speaker the whole time.

(laughs)

Let's get something to eat.

I think they want to be alone.

Yeah.

I'll never forget this week.

Well, Marion...

no one said it was easy
being a parent.

I know.

But it can be so painful.

I'm just going to walk Lori Beth
out to her car.

Say good night for us, dear.

Yeah.

Say, uh...

I-I guess I must have
put you through

a lot this week and, uh...

with the accident
and everything...

Oh, don't worry about it,
Richard.

It's all part of being a parent.

Thanks.

I'll see you.

- HOWARD: Night.
- MARION: Night.

Quite a son.

LORI BETH (giggling):
Richie...

He's quite a Casanova.

Takes after his father.

That's right.

Eat your cookie, Casanova.

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These are such Happy Days!

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby I


♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days!
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