02x19 - Robot Employees

[bunniefuu]

Grr!

One chili dog.
I eat chili dogs now.

Seems cool and edgy. I'm
thinking of making it my thing.

Here. This is probably
close to what you ordered.

You know what? I don't want
a chili dog any more.

Now I just wanna
burn this place to the ground!

- Robots, att*ck!
- Not so fast, Egghead!

We won't let you
destroy Meh Burger.

Fine. I've got an even better
plan to get decent service.

First, I'd like to say
it's an honour to meet the man

who owns Meh Burger.

Your institution
is responsible for more evil

- than I could ever dream of!
- Uh... Thank you?

But there's still room
for improvement.

Orbot! Slideshow!

This is an artist's rendering
of the current,

inefficient Meh Burger.

Now, here's my proposal. A team
of efficient robotic employees!

A shiny, new Meh Burger!

And a place where you get
what you actually ordered!

I love it! I'm very suggestible!

These machines
will never be able to replicate

the customer service experience
that comes from a live employee.

- Could I get some ketchup?
- Get it yourself.

I'm on my break.

Your business is very
valuable to us, pink customer.

Come on! At least give me
a chance to show you

that I'm better
than a bunch of robots.

We can have a contest.

OK, but if you lose,
you're fired!

This is Soar the Eagle,

broadcasting live from Village
Centre where local flunky,

Dave the Intern, is about
to challenge a series of robots

in a fast-food throwdown!

Clearly, it's a slow news day.

The first event?
Burger flipping!

Ouch! Er, I mean,
round one goes to the machines,

with a final tally of Dave, ,
Machine, .

Next up, the Stop and Mop!

Mustard, easy!

Mysterious orange chunky goo,
piece of cake!

Piece of cake?
That one's a toughie.

Well, he earned that one.

And now for the final event,

the drive-thru
speaker translation!

This one's worth more points

than all the other events
combined.

That's to create
false dramatic tension.

Or this competition
would be over.

(Indistinct mumbling)

Two double Meh Burgers,
and an order of humdrum rings.

(Indistinct mumbling)

- Uh... One...
- (Buzzer)

And Dave goes down!
A devastating blow to humanity!

But at least they'll
finally get my order right.

Dave, it's difficult for me to
say this, but... you're fired!

Actually,
that wasn't so hard at all.

In fact, I kind of liked it.

In celebration
of my new good mood,

I hereby announce
a party tomorrow.

(Cheering)

Enjoy your tin death chefs.

I'm off to the woods
for something safe to eat,

like unidentified plants,
berries and mushrooms.

Gentlemen, today I was fired
from my part-time,

minimum-wage job.

This is an outrage!
Your boss shouldn't judge you

based on how ineffective
you are at work!

Tomorrow, Meh Burger's
going to have a big party

and the Lightning Bolts
are gonna crash it.

Here's how it's gonna go down.

Thank you all for coming

to the grand reopening
of Meh Burger!

In celebration, all
cheeseburgers today are free!

(Cheering)

Aw. Cheese?
But I'm lactose intolerant!

I also hate gogobas.

Once our operative gives
the thumbs up, we move in.

New intel!
Free cheeseburgers!

Abort mission! Abort mission!

(Sighs)

To the new Meh Burger, where you
get what you actually ordered!

(Cheering)

Not something wrong,

served by a lackadaisical
staff of slugs,

who don't give
a rat's patootie.

In fact, odds are, they
served you some rat's patootie!

Our lawyers have assured me
the percentage of rat's patootie

in these burgers
is well within the legal limit!

But we can forget those dark,
old days. Well, you can.

Not me!
Eggman never forgets!

So, I'm going to
exact my revenge

on this so-called restaurant
and all of its customers!

I'll break us out!

Ow!

The force field
goes underneath too.

- We're doomed!
- Not necessarily.

There's somebody outside
the force field we can call on.

Hi. This is Sticks.
I'm in the woods right now.

If this is a thr*at
or conspiracy, press one.

You don't have
an answering machine.

'Cause I hate machines!

You were right about the robots!
We're all trapped in Meh Burger!

You're doing
an I-told-you-so dance?

- Maybe.
- I need you

to get over to my workshop
right away!

Sticks, listen carefully.

I need you
to bring me some stuff.

A transducer
and a beam-concentration nozzle,

- the big one, not the small...
- Transfloozle, pocket wrench...

Yeah, I got it.

A voltage bridge,
a welding laser...

You can't keep us
in here forever!

I know! That's why I'm
launching you into outer space!

Wait. What?

Ta-ta! (Evil laugh)

Sticks here. Quick question.
Where's Meh Burger?

Right above you!

This is no good. The key
to a successful restaurant

is location, location, location!

You'll have to take out
the force field from mid-air.

You can borrow my plane,
but need a co-pilot.

Is there anyone left in town
who can fly it?

Why should I help save
lame-o Meh Burger?

You and I
have one thing in common,

unless you also believe
the government changes

word spellings and replaces
our dictionaries while we sleep.

- We both hate robots, right?
- Of course I do!

They took my job!

Keep your mitts on the wheel!

Don't tell me what to do!
You're not my mom's boyfriend!

It feels pretty sweet defeating
Dave the Intern, Meh Burger

and Sonic in one fell swoop!

And as an extra bonus, I don't
have to wait in lines any more!

I wonder if these come in husky?

Why is there never anyone
to help when you need it? Hello?

(Screaming)

First thing you need to do
is slow our ascent

before we get
to the vacuum of space.

You'll have to disarm
a couple of the thrusters.

Dave, we need to get closer!

Oh, that's really nice of you,
but I'm kind of a loner.

Oh, you mean the plane! Right!

Hey! It's working!

With half the thrusters gone,

the rest are struggling
against the weight.

They're gonna seize! We gotta
disable this force field, fast!

Time to even out my tan
without fear of scrutiny.

Everybody, grab a table cloth.
You can use them as parachutes.

Can I get another one?
This one has a mustard stain!

Mine has a hole in it!

I need you to make
an electromagnetic pulse

to jam
the force field's current.

- I don't know what that means!
- You can do it, Sticks!

You'll need a power supply.

Find something
that looks like a battery

with three squiggly wires
coming out of it.

OK, got the battery!

Now find
a beam-concentration nozzle.

It's like a small rubber traffic
cone with a clip on the end.

Attach that to the loose wire
and press the big, red button!

Nice going, Sticks!

Dive, Dave! Dive, dive, dive!

We're starting to get a little
close to the ground here.

That sound is never good.

Aaah!

A perfect one-point landing.

Ugh!

Pretty nice of Mr Slate to
promote him to Dave-the-Manager.

Well, he deserved it for helping
you save the whole town.

A meaningless title, though.

He doesn't have
any employees to manage.

Actually, I took care of that.

I salvaged one of the robots
and reprogrammed it.

This is a salad!
I ordered a chili dog!

I'm on my break.