03x08 - It's a Dog's Life

[bunniefuu]

Relax, Brandon.

Punky will be home soon.

She can take you
for a run in the park.

You've got cabin fever, huh?

Alright, you home
for wayward fleas.

But no squirrel chasing!

Henry, guess what?!

I'll guess later.

Right now, I want you to give
your dog some exercise.

But I can't. We have to get
to the store before it closes.

Actually, Mr. Warnimont,
they have to shop.

I, of course,
am already equipped.

Equipped for what?

Margaux's parents are gonna
take us on a boat ride tomorrow

on Lake Michigan!

Cherie dear, it's not a boat.

It's a yacht.

What's the difference?

More money than
you will ever earn.

Henry, I've gotta buy
some yacht stuff.

I need a sailing hat,

some new sunglasses

and a pair of deck shoes.

Okay?

Not okay.

Here's the deal.

You walk Brandon,
give him a bath,

and then if there's time,
you can go to the store.

A bath, too?

Yes, he smells like
a walking landfill.

I got a whiff of him
a few minutes ago,

and all my nose hairs fell out.

- Oh!
- Oh!

Well, Punky,
we're off to the store.

I really feel terrible that
you're stuck here with Brandon.

But I'll get over it.

Hey, wait a minute, guys.

How about if I go
to the store with you now,

then I'll run back here
and take care of Brandon?

Henry will never find out
which one I did first.

- Ooh, good idea.
- Good idea!

If I do this,
am I disobeying Henry?

- Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
- Yeah. You bet.

And you still think
I should do it?

- Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
- Yeah. You bet.

Let's go!

I'll be right back, Brandon,
to give you a bath.

Get out your rubber ducky.

Come on in, Betty.

Let's have some tea.

Henry, did you redecorate?

What in the...

We've been robbed.

Punky!

Brandon!

Brandon... did you do this?

Bad dog!

Stop right there,
you, you...

animal!

Calm down, Henry,
or you'll go bald.

What?

Hair can't live on a hot head.

Now, you know perfectly well

that if a dog doesn't get out
of the house once in a while,

he'll turn into
a four-legged wreckin' ball.

Well, Punky's in big trouble.

Obviously, Brandon
hasn't been bathed or walked.

She's ignoring her pet.

Eh!

Well, you know how kids are.

They love havin' a pet,

but they hate
takin' care of 'em.

Well, what bothers me the most
is that she disobeyed me.

I'll have to ground her
for this.

I don't blame you.

Oh, and by the way...

nice shorts.

Thank you.

I hope you're happy, Brandon.

I was being sarcastic.

You oughta feel miserable.

It's bedtime, Punky.

Hop into your pajamas.

I'm gonna sleep
in these clothes.

I wanted so very, very,
very much

to wear them on Margaux's yacht.

But I messed up bad...

and now, I have to reap
what I sowed.

If you're trying to con me
into letting you go, young lady,

it won't work.

I was afraid of that.

Punky, what have I told you
about responsibility?

That I have to have it.

That's right.

You see, Brandon can't
take care of himself.

He's not a human being.

Though he does bear a striking
resemblance to Mrs. Wopperman.

If you don't take care
of him properly,

feed him, exercise him,
clean him,

he suffers.

You don't want that, do you?

No.

I thought not.

Put yourself
in his place, Punky.

It's not easy being a dog.

Now, goodnight, sweetheart.

I have to go sew
what Brandon ripped.

Henry's wrong
about one thing, Brandon.

You get free rent...

free meals.

You don't have to go to school.

Your biggest problem

is trying to decide
where to bury your bones.

You're lucky, Brandon.

I wish I were a dog.

I'd love...

to be a dog.

I'd love...

to be a dog.

To be a dog.

To be a dog.

Morning already?

Weird. I dreamt
I was chasing a rabbit.

Wait a minute.

What am I doing down here?

I should be up in my bed.

I am in my bed.

What's going on here?

I see me,

but I'm not in me.

I'm acting like Brandon!

Hmm, but if Brandon's in me...

then does that mean that I...

Holy Macanoli!
I'm a dog!

Look at me.

Boy, talk about
needing a nose job.

How did this happen to me?

Last night,
I wished I was a dog.

I take it back!

Please, God! Un-dog me!

Punky! Rise and shine.

Henry can help me.

He'll know what to do.

It's morning, Punky.

Up and at 'em.

What's the matter with you?

I've left my body.

Henry, I'm over here.

Heh. I get it.

Last night,
I told you to imagine

what it's like to be a dog,

and you're pretending
to be Brandon.

Henry, I'm not pretending!

Tell you what,
since you promised

that you're gonna start taking
good care of Brandon,

I'm gonna retract my punishment

and let you go
on your yacht trip today.

Okay?

Oh, Punky, enough's enough.

Your breakfast
is on the kitchen table.

So you and Brandon go out
and eat while I get dressed.

I've got to figure
a way out of this mess.

Maybe I'll think better
on a full stomach.

Henry mentioned food,
and right away,

I feel like drooling.

Uh-oh.

Here's where I miss my thumbs.

Well, here goes nothin'.

Maybe I'll have better luck
if I start with the milk first.

I'll starve at this rate.

Boy, being a dog
is for the birds.

Easy, Brandon.

Who is it?

It's Cherie and Margaux.

Use your nose, Henry.

- Anchors away!
- Anchors away!

My, you two look resplendent.

Is that good?

- Very.
- Phew.

Is Punky ready to go?

Which one?

The two-legged Punky

or the four-legged Punky?

What are you doing, Punky?

Are you playing a new game?

She's pretending to be Brandon.

Stop it, Punky.

I want you to start acting
like yourself again.

I give up.

Come on, girls,
I'll drive you to the lake.

Wait, guys.

Look, there's
the Woppermans' cat.

Hi, Snowball.

Hey, come back!

I need help.

They deserted me.

This must be
what Brandon feels like

when I leave him alone.

Boy...

a dog is totally at the mercy
of human beings.

Let's see, what can I do
to pass the time?

Doo doo doo doo doo.

Now I know
why dogs chase their tails.

It's outta sheer boredom.

Maybe I'll listen
to some music.

Any Three Dog Night?

Hey! Something's crawling
on my back.

Ow!

It's a flea!

That sucker bit me!

That wouldn't have happened

if I had given Brandon a bath.

What's that noise?

It's my stomach.

I'm starved.

I'd k*ll for a pizza.

Kibble.

Stuff looks disgusting.

What the heck,
I'll try some.

Yuck! It's like eating
whole wheat dirt.

I need some water
to wash this gunk down.

Ew! There's a bug
in the bowl.

Grosseroo!

Hmm, sometimes, Brandon drinks
out of the toilet.

Am I nuts?

Double yuck.

Let's see.
Where else can I t*nk up?

Ah, that hit the spot.

Now, to find some decent food.

Hmm... the counter.

What's up there?

A cookie jar!

Empty!

Who ate all the cookies?

Oh, that's right, I did.

Well, what else can I eat?

Maybe I'll make some popcorn.

Brandon!

Henry, let me explain.

You are a bad dog!

Bad dog!

First of all,
I'm not a dog.

And second, I'm not bad,
I'm hungry.

Get down!

I'm sorry, Brandon.

It's not your fault.

I blame Punky for this.

Yeah, well, don't be
too hard on the poor girl.

I gave her fair warning.

If she won't take
proper care of you,

I have no choice
but to find someone who will.

What?

My cousin needs a dog.

You stay right there.

I'm going to Finland.

Finland?

Henry has a cousin
in Finland?

Ohh!

He must've
taken the Concorde.

Hello, Brandon.

My name is Lars Warnimont.

And I will be your new master.

Lars Warnimont?

But, but...

I don't want a new master.

Ah...

You will be a good sled dog.

Sled dog?

Your hair is long.

It will protect you

when the temperature hits
sixty below.

Sixty below?

Ah, I see you are strong.

You will need strength
to fight the wolves.

But, Lars,
I'm not a fighter,

I'm a lover!

Come along now.

No!

Henry, where are you?

Mush! Mush!

Please,
don't make me mush.

Henry!

Help me, please!
Henry!

Please, anybody!
Somebody, help me.

- Punky, wake up.
- It's freezing!

It's a blizzard,
I'm freezing my tail off!

- I'm gone!
- Punky, wake up!

Henry, where's Lars?

Who?

Your cousin, Lars Warnimont,

from Finland.

I don't have a cousin
named Lars.

I can talk!

And look, I've got thumbs!

Of course.
You went to sleep with thumbs.

I'm not a dog.

Of course not.

Everyone thinks
you're very attractive.

No, I had a terrible dream.

I dreamt that I was stuck
in Brandon's body

and Brandon was stuck in mine.

Ooh...

Heavy bummer.

Yeah.

I had fleas...

and bug water,

and I even wanted
to eat your socks.

Relax, Punky.

It's all over now.

You know, you have to clean
a dog's teeth regularly

or else,
he'll get Kibble breath.

Believe me, Iknow.

You know, Punky...

your bad dream
may have been my fault.

Perhaps, the punishment
I gave you was too severe.

Maybe I'll let you go
on your boat ride today anyway.

No way!

I'm gonna stay here
and take care of Brandon.

First, I'm gonna
give him a bath.

Then, I'm gonna get him
some better food.

Then, I'm gonna vacuum
his doghouse. Then, I'm gonna--

Well, you have changed
your tune, haven't you?

I sure have.

I'm sorry, Brandon.

I've been mean and selfish.

I promise, from now on,
I'll take better care of you.

I love you.

I don't wanna be you...

but I do love you.

Come on, let's go
and have some breakfast.

Oh, great.
I'm starved.

What would you like to eat?

Anything, except dog food.

For sure, that's a good one.

And I was going
to give you mush.