07x11 - Super Guitario Center

[bunniefuu]

[Thunder crashes]

[Laughs evilly]

[Sawing]

[Electricity crackles]

It's alive!

[Thunder crashes]

[Laughs evilly]

[Smooch!]

[Laughs evilly]

[Chitters]

Lucas, Darwin have
question for you.

What is it, Darwin?

Was this the only voice
left at the assh*le store?

'Cause Stephen Hawking wouldn't
tell your mom to suck his

d*ck with this voice.

Oh. Do you want to go
back to Seaworld?

No, no, no. We cool.

We cool.

Bobby, I think we're lost.

Well, you found us.

What the heck are those things?!

Why, them's the Boglins!

Joe's gonna sing a song!

Oh, I love when Joe sings!

♪ Well, there are some
creatures you might not know ♪

♪ Always burpin' and playin' ♪

♪ And splashin' to and fro ♪

♪ Sometimes troublemakin' ♪

♪ They're the Boglins ♪

♪ We're the Boglins ♪

♪ And they smell
like deep ass ♪

Wait. What?

♪ Picture the worst ass
smell that you smelled,

now multiply that by the biggest
number that exists in math ♪

♪ That's how the Boglins smell ♪

I think we're good on the song.

♪ They spend all day stewing
in their own pee and crap ♪

♪ They also eat and
f*ck their dead ♪

Oh, god.

♪ And on the eighth day,

God regretted giving
life to the Boglins ♪

And?

And we're legally
required to tell you

we're registered sex offenders.

I'm currently unregistered.

Turtles, strength
comes from within,

and you must find that strength.

[Munching]

Splinter,
are you eating garbage?

What?! Ew! Gross!

This shouldn't be
sitting around,

so I'm going to
take the garbage out

and you get back to your lesson.

You're taking it to your room.

You're taking it to your room.

Hey, guys.

Remember when I ate
garbage by accident?

So gross, right?

Yep. It was gross.

Dare me to do it again?

You'd have to dare me,
'cause... ew.

No. We're good.

TURTLE:
Splinter?

Are you okay in there?

You don't want to see this.

Those are used tissues, Splinter!

I know! I know!

I'm a f*ckin' rat!

Soak it in!

This is Splinter's rock bottom!

No, eating that used
tampon is your rock bottom.

It's April fresh!

[Twinkle!]

Magic mirror, tell me today,
have all my "Romper Room"

friends had fun at play?

I see Jenny and Tommy
and Alan and...

[demonic voice]
Fire...

Fire raining down
from the heavens!

[Normal voice]
And Sandy and Robbie.

Aaah!
[Alarm blaring]

Mantech, this place
is gonna blow!

The only way you'll make it
out is if someone stays behind

and keeps the core from
overheating.

[Blaring continues]

What's happening?

Sorry. I made a face that
I thought conveyed it,

but I guess you can't
see 'cause of my helmet.

I'm going to sacrifice myself.

Steve, you can't see
because of my helmet,

but I am crying right now.

I believe you, Ken.

Due to helmet and
armor mobility issues,

what I'm going to do
won't really translate,

but I'm going to give you
a subtle yet loaded nod.

[Clank! Clank!]

That was it.

Pat, that was beautiful.

You're like a father to me.

Don't do this!

Hey! Look at me!

Look... at... me!

I am.

What do you see?

An enormous helmet.

Do you see fear?

I don't think so, sir.

That's right, so you stay
strong, too, soldier.

We need our leader!

You are Mantech...

I'm gonna be sick.

[Vomits]

I'm so sorry.

Did some throw-up get
in your helmet vent?

Yes.

How much?

A lot.

I'm sorry. I know.

Go! You don't
have much time!

We are the men!

ALL:
The men of Mantech!

Heads up! Low beam!

Stupid helmet!

'Sup, Bob?

Walking straight today?

Yep! I'm a lemming!

Whoops! Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa.

Hey, Ralph!
What are you up to?

I'm holding a ticking b*mb.

Neat!
[Boom! Zap!]

Hey, Tom.

You building a bridge?

Yep. Not finished.

Sounds good. Here we go!

Great bridge.

I retire tomorrow.

Hey, the bridge is up!

Isn't that great?!

Hi, honey.
How was your day?

They're all dead!

It should have been me!

[Sobbing]
It should have been m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!

Hello. I am looking for a gift
for my grandson's birthday.

Do you carry sweaters that don't
fit and are f*cking stupid?

Hi! I'm Rick
"The Animal" Sanders,

and I f*ck trees!

I also designed and built

the most powerful monster
truck in history,

The Animal!
[Roars]

The animal has giant beast
claws jutting out of its tires!

That's why you should haul ass
down to Animal Discount Auto!

Drive drunk!

You'll get here faster!

Every car's an animal,
like this live possum!

[Snarling]

Hate traffic?

So does the animal!

I'm late for my
weekly baccarat game.

Eat a d*ck, traffic!

Whoo-hoo!

We've even got boats!

Aye, aye, m*therf*ckers!

So head on down to Animal
Discount Auto and remember...

Nothing can stop the animal!

Owning and operating
an animal is illegal.

I f*ck trees!

Look at me!

A flasher!

Wait. No, wait.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait! Wait!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

People of Mainframe, beware!

The evil virus Megabyte has

turned off the users'
computer spamware filter!

That's crazy!

Even bad news like this
can't get me down, though.

I just doubled the size of
my dong in four days with

New Dub-Chub male
enhancement supplements.

I've never seen this
man before, Bob.

I bet he's spam!

Hey, I'm just a normal guy who
values Dub-Chub's commitment

to increasing the girth and
length of my cream cannon.

Can I see your I. P.
Address, please?

Sure, sure, sure.

Hey, wait a second.
What are these?

A free month's trial
of Dub-chub?!

Holy moly!

You're about to seriously
upgrade your meatbag!

Flag as spam and delete.

Oh, no, bro!

Let that be a lesson to
any spam out there!

We will find you!

Looking for local sluts who
just want to bone down?

It's free.

All you need is a
credit-card number.

Oh, yeah.
She sounds definitely legit.

Awake, my Sleeping Beauty,
and we will...

Oh, my god.
I just had the weirdest dream.

I was in the house
where I grew up,

except it wasn't that house...
it was a different house.

But the furniture was still
from the house I grew up in...

Oh, that's...
that's great.

...and it had a patio, but it
was the patio from my first

apartment.

[Muffled]
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

And, also, I knew Spanish.

Ice Clan Warriors, we have
a new w*apon in our fight

against the Stone Clan!

Behold the beasts
of the Bone Age!

Uh, how is this happening?

I don't know.

They have no connective tissue!

Help us wrap our heads
around the mythology, man.

Honestly, these things just
came walking over a hill,

so let's ride 'em!

I call the pterodactyl!

[Screeches]

Okay. So, we're riding
these f*ckers bareback?

That's the plan?

Ohh, my coccyx is on pure bone!

I really wish we'd
discussed saddles!

Mother of god!

Why did I pick the stegosaurus?!

Faster! Faster!

This is glorious!

f*ck you!

You're smoothly flying!

Mud pits dead ahead!

Prepare to jump, riders!

Aah!

Aaaah!

Oh, god! My tailbone!

Why didn't we just go around?!

Oh, sweet mother!

It's impaling my anus!

We're here!

Ready your weapons!

Hey, Ptero, we have
a bone to pick with you.

[Laughter]

hours later,
The Bone Age warriors

all died from internal bruising.

Keep it steady, Baloo!

It's time for a
little cloud surfing!

Hey, that's not a real thing.

Yeah! Ohh!

Kit.

The Channel News Masquerade
Ball is the perfect opportunity

for me to kidnap April O'Neil.

She's the perfect bait
to catch the Turtles.

Wow!

Out of that bulky lesbian
jump suit, she's hot as shit!

- Care to dance, Mr. Potter?
- What?!

[Twinkle!]
And what's your costume?

Belle from "Beauty and the
Beast" but a d*ck slut.

Is your favorite
restaurant Taco "Belle"?

[Both laugh]

You are hilarious.

On the count of three,
say your favorite band.

, , !

BOTH:
Toad the Wet Sprocket!

[Both smooching]

[Twinkle!]

[Gasps]
Wait. Are you...

In love?

Yes. What?! Bye!

Shredder?

Think of something poetic
or real cool.

But soft!

You are total boner food!

Oh, Shredder.

My heart doesn't take sides.

People won't approve.

No one can keep us apart.

[Both smooching]

Oh, hell to the no!

Ugh!

We're soul mates!

We both love
Toad the Wet Sprocket!

Toad the what?!

Is that a sex thing?!

Have you guys had sex?

No... just dry humping
and ball play.

Ball play?! Ugh!

You must stay away
from Shredder, April.

He is dangerous.

Sleep here tonight.

Donatello,
grab the guest pillows.

[Gasps]
What are you doing here?

I came to say hi
and also have sex

after the whole "Hi" thing.

It's like Six Flags Hurricane
Harbor in my panties right now.

[Both smooching]

Mm-mmm! You really toaded
my wet sprocket.

When will I see you again?

Soon, I hope.

I should go before
the Turtles wake up.

Plus, I have some major
extenze farts coming on.

[Farts]

April, just go on one
date with Casey.

He's a good guy.

Casey is a jobless
loser in sweats!

Good start to my morning.

So I left.

What should I do,
Mr. Rat King?

I belong with Shredder.

I have an idea!

And my idea involves you taking
a lot of poison very quickly.

Go on.

It can't be.

April! No!

Why?!

Ow! Ow! Ow!
What the f*ck! Shredder!

April! You're alive!

The poison only
made me appear dead.

Didn't you read "Romeo and
Juliet," you f*cking ass clown?

Guh!

Noooooooooo!

Just gonna take my Toad the Wet
Sprocket bootleg back.

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

Ba-gawk! Bawk.

Stupid monkey.