04x22 - Wedding Bells for Brandon

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Punky Brewster". Aired: September 16, 1984 to March 1986.*
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Follows Punky and her dog, Brandon who have been abandoned by her parents.
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04x22 - Wedding Bells for Brandon

Post by bunniefuu »

Henry, can I leave
Brandon here with you?

I'm going to the library
and they won't let him in

'cause he hasn't returned
his overdue books.

What's happening at the library?

Well, next week
is Career Day at school

and I have to read a book
and give a report

on what I wanna be
when I grow up.

Punky, I have
all the information you need

for your report right here.

Really? Y... you mean, you know
a lot about being an astronaut?

Are you still
on that astronaut gig?


Oh, Punky,
you don't want to fly around

in outer space.

You'll get airsick
riding in the escalator.

Not if I don't look down.


outer space is yesterday's news.

The career of tomorrow
is photography.


Let me show you some examples

of quality
professional photography.

I took these pictures
at the Fenucci wedding.

Hey, these are
great pictures, Henry.

I know.

But why is Mr. Fenucci
wearing a wedding dress?

That's Mrs. Fenucci.

I haven't finished
touching up her mustache.

While you're at it, maybe
you can un-connect her eyebrows.

Oh, I didn't notice that flaw.

Punky, you have a great eye
for detail.

You're a natural.

You were born
to be a photographer

and someday
you'll follow in my footsteps.

Henry, I'm glad that
you love taking pictures...

I hear a but coming.

And I appreciate that you wanna
teach me everything you know.

Here comes the but.


I'm just not interested
in photography.

That's alright. I understand.

- You do?
- Of course.

You're very young and you still
have plenty of time

to decide that you do want
to become a photographer.

Thanks for understanding, Henry.

I gotta meet Cherie and Margaux
at the library. Bye.

Brandon, you want to learn
about photography?

Brandon, stop sneaking up on me.

Get down from there, Brenda.

You're bothering Mr. Warnimont.

Oh, it's alright, Myron,

he's just admiring
some of my work.

By the way,
his name isn't Brenda.

It's Brandon.
Isn't that right, Brandon?

Brandon, have you been cloned?

No, Mr. Warnimont.

This is my dog, Brenda.

Oh, that's a relief.

For a moment,
I thought I had double vision.

Well, I guess that's a real
problem at your age.

They make
quite an attractive couple.

Yeah, I... I haven't seen Brenda
like another dog so much

since Duke the Doberman
moved out of the neighborhood.

I bet they'd have
great-looking puppies.

I'm sure they would.

Well, what do you say,
Mr. Warnimont?

Oh, it's up to Punky.
It's her dog.

It may be up to Punky,

but I think Brandon's
gonna get the final vote.

Punky, would you put the sauce
on the table

while I check the spaghetti?


Henry, are we gonna eat
off the wall?

No. The spaghetti's stuck to the
wall, that means it's ready.

Brandon, dinnertime.


I have to talk to you
about Brandon.

What about?

Now Brandon...

is getting older.

And I think it's the right time
for him to have, um...


Henry, I don't know
how to break this to you...

but Brandon can't have puppies.

He's a boy dog.

Yes, I know that.

Your friend Myron...

has a female
golden retriever, Brenda,

who I think would make
the perfect mate for Brandon.

Oh, I've met Brenda.

- She's a real nice dog.
- Well, what about it?

- I think it's a great idea.
- Oh, good.

I'll call Myron
right after dinner.

you're gonna be a daddy.

I can't believe it.

Seems like only yesterday
you were a puppy yourself.

- Okay, cut the charade...
- Stop!

It's only fair warning
that this is an attack dog.

If you get near me,
he'll chew you to pieces.

Give me a break.
That dog couldn't chew soup.

Okay, the dishes are done.

Hey, Brandon. How's the
floor polishing coming along?

You missed a few spots,

but you did good
considering you're a dog.

I know
house cleaning's hard work.

But if we're gonna stay with
Henry until my mom comes back,

we're gonna have to earn
our keep, okay?


Brandon the Wonder Dog

will catch this ball with me.

Brandon, catch.

Brandon, jump!

Brandon, jump.

Brandon, jump.

This is what
it would have looked like

if he'd done it.

The only reason I call him
Brandon the Wonder Dog

is because you always wonder
when he's gonna do something.

Brandon, I'm so excited
about you being a daddy.

I'm gonna do something
special for you.

I've got it!

Brandon, I'm gonna give you
the biggest wedding

any dog has ever had.






What is this, Betty?

It's my bill for making
a wedding cake for Brandon

out of kibble.

I can't believe
that you'd go along

with this canine craziness.

Well, what's so crazy
about Punky

wanting Brandon
to have a wedding?

Betty, animals do not
get married.

Well, you did.

I'll ignore that...

the same way men ignore you.

Henry, this wedding will be
a lot of fun for the kids.

I don't see any harm in it.

I'm just concerned
that the whole thing

would get out of hand.

Now, Henry...

Henry, do you know
where Brandon is?

I can't find him anywhere.

Well, maybe he got cold paws

and decided to call
the whole thing off.

Well, he was a little nervous.

There he is!

Hey, what a handsome
well-dressed groom.

Brandon is always well dressed.

Well, someone in your family
should be.

The pets of the rich and famous.

I think Brandon's jealous.

Who wants a diamond leash?

Tonight Max is hosting
a gala gathering

for of his closest
four-legged friends.

For the last time, Brandon,
you can't come.

They've got fleas,
they're big enough

to beat you at arm wrestling.

Come on, Brandon. Mush. Mush.

Boy, Brandon,
you're a great sled dog.

I bet you're just dying
to go right back out.

You know,
it's true what they say.

After a while, people start
looking like their pets.

Aren't weddings beautiful,

Let's get this show
on the road, Betty.

I don't want the neighbors
to see me

participating in this farce.

Henry, don't you have
anything nice to say?

Well, these hors d'oeuvres
look good.

- Uh, Henry.
- Yes?

Never mind.

So Brandon's getting married.

It seemed like only yesterday
he was chewing on your slippers.

It was yesterday.


Brandon, I know
peanut butter is your favorite,

but it gets stuck
to the roof of your muzzle.

Okay, but when you're finished,
remember to floss.

Okay, Brandon.

Pick a card, any card you want.

Okay, now don't show me
which card you picked.

Okay, now put it back
in the deck.

Oh, alright,
I'll put it back for you.

Now I'm gonna show you
which card you picked.



three of spades?

Wanna know how I knew
which card was yours?

It's the only one
with doggy slobber on it.

You should learn
this trick, Brandon.

Might get you a date
with that lady beagle

you're always barking about.

I wish I were a dog.

I'd love...

to be a dog.

I'd love...

to be a dog.

To be a dog.

To be a dog.

Where else can I t*nk up?

Ah, that hit the spot.

Now to find some decent food.


. .

. .

This can't be right.

$ delivered to Lady?

I don't know anybody named Lady.

I don't understand,
the flowers we ordered

should have been here hours ago.

Don't they have
any decent candy striper?


How sweet.

Thanks, boy.
Thank you so much, guys.

- Hello, reverend.
- Hello.

I really appreciate you
doing this.

Oh, it's nothing.
It's a wedding.

I'm a minister. It's $ .

- Credit card?
- Cash.

Bless you.

Okay, Henry. Hit it.

I always cry at weddings.

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today

to join Brandon and Brenda
in doggie matrimony.

Who gives this fine canine
to be married?


Do you, Brandon, take Brenda
to be your lawfully wedded woof,

uh, wife?

And do you, Brenda, take Brandon

to be your lawfully
wedded husband?

The collars, please.

If there is anyone here
who objects to this marriage,

let them bark now
or forever hold their peace.

Who's that?

That's Fefe,
Brandon's old girlfriend.

She's taking it hard.

Brandon and Brenda, I now
pronounce you husband and wife.

Brandon, you may now
lick the bride.

May I present
Mr. and Mrs. Brandon Brewster.
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