02x44 - Vector Detector

[bunniefuu]

ts)

(soft music)

(chuckles)

Good morning, world!

(giggles)

Good morning, chair!

Good morning, plant!

Good morning, hammer!

(gasps)

Hammer? Hammer?!

(screams) Hammer!

I can't believe
my hammer's gone.

It's--it's who I am!

It's like Sonic
without his speed!

Or me without my fists!

(shrieks) Where are they?

They're on your hands.

(sighs) Oh, thank goodness.

I was as useless
as Amy without her hammer.

Who'd want to steal
your hammer?

(Eggman whistles)

Morning, losers!

Eggman! You stole my hammer!

If I wanted a hammer,
I'd make one myself.

Argh, I was having
such a lovely morning!

You got me all worked up!

What're you going to do?
att*ck us?

(fight)

(blast)

"What're you going to do?
att*ck us?"

Nice going, Sonic.

(crash)

(crash)

(efforts)

(spins)

Whoa!

(efforts)

What am I supposed to do
with my hands?

(spin)

(dash)

(efforts)

(spin)

(crash)

Knuckles was right,

I am useless.

(sobs)

What? I can't help
that I'm insightful.

We need to deal with this.

Sorry, Egghead,
this is a quick one.

(blast)

I completely understand!

Amy, your worries are over!

We didn't find your hammer,

but we found this crate
of hand-to-hand combat weapons!

(thud)

And the best part is

the serial numbers
have been scratched off!

I appreciate your help,
everyone,

but I called a professional.

(crash, electric guitar)

In this modest, some would call
tragically-small hovel,

I, Vector the Detector,

will begin my investigation

of "The Case
of the Missing Hammer!"

Vector? What're you doing here?

Cut!

No, no, no!

You're excited
that Vector's here.

Sonic, have you seen his show?

He'll find my hammer for sure.

When did you get a reality show?

When they paid me
big-time TV dough-re-mi.

(cash register)

You should see
an optometrist about that.

(sting)

I'm here
outside the vic's domicile,

looking for clues--

I'm looking for clues too,

and I can do it times faster
than Vector!

(spin dash)

Nope. That criminal
mastermind left no trace.

Yeah, no trace...

Except these footprints!

(sting)

(footsteps)

(sting)

A Meh Burger VIP card?

I've never seen one before!

They're reserved
for the cultural elite.

We have our first clue.

(sting)

We need this palooka
to name names.

Unlike these soft drink cups,
he won't spill easy.

Time for the old good cop -
bad cop routine.

I'll play bad cop.

This is my clambake
and I always play bad cop!

Can I take your order?

What's the skinny
on this VIP card?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

(slap)

(squeals)

My partner
wants to go easy on you.

He believes your fairy tale,

but something
smells rotten to me.

It's Meh Burger.

That's just how it smells!

(smash)

(gulps) Okay!

I admit it!

The Meh Burger VIP program
is a sham!

We give cards to angry customers
to make them feel special!

Nearly everyone in town
has one!

I don't have one.

Somebody has to pay full price

to offset the discounts
everybody else is getting.

(owl hooting)

(Amy/Sticks efforts)

(footsteps)

How'd it go with Vector?

(wham) Ah!

(zips off)

Dead end.

(groans)

Maybe a TV break
will take your mind off things.

(slump)

It's a singing competition show

where I, along with the wife
of an aging rock star

and a guy
you've never heard of

harshly criticize regular
people and crush their dreams!

Sounds great.

You know
what else sounds great?

Surgery without anesthesia!

(audience laughs)

I've used butter knives
that were less dull.

(more laughter)

I tried watching the show...

My TV pulled the plug
on itself!

(more laughter)

Whatever.

(laughs)

He can dish it,
but he can't take it!

Can it, Wolfie.

(hubbub)

Move along, nothing to see here.

(soft chatter)

Whoa! Look at that,

someone smashed up
this Comedy Chimp sign!

Hey everyone,
you got to see this!

(footsteps)

Whoever did this

must really hate Comedy Chimp.

(gasps) These marks
are from my hammer!

Your hammer's sentient
and hates hacky comedy?

That's one theory.

But my money's on Justin Beaver.

Comedy Chimp
clowned him last night,

the guy must've gone bananas.

Which means,

he pinched this tomato's hammer!

That's all well and good,
Vector,

but you're missing one thing:

any evidence at all.

That's why I propose...

A stakeout!

We've been waiting all day!

Stakeouts are never like this
on TV.

It's two lines of dialogue
and they see their guy.

Yeah, well, life's not like TV.

(click)

There he is!

(footsteps)

(knocks on door)

It must be some kind
of Beaver conspiracy.

(smash)

(spin dash)

The jig is up, Justin!

(gasps)

He's taken hostages!

We're not hostages.

We're a book club!
We meet here every night.

A book club?

I keep it on the clandestine.

If my vapid fanbase discovers
I enjoy fine literature,

they'd shun me.

I'd be anathema to them!

Hm. His vocabulary checks out.

And so does his alibi.

If he was here last night,

he didn't smash
that Comedy Chimp sign.

Well, keep your chins up.

Tomorrow we'll go back
to the crime scene!

See if we can't find
another clue.

Vector! I found something.

(beep, sting)

This must've been
the gonif's vantage point.

He was eating this pie, waiting
to cop that doll's hammer.

Who eats a pie from the middle?

I don't know,

but while you
were flapping your gums,

I formulated a fool-proof plan
to find out.

A pie festival?

Now all we've got to do

is see which one of these jokers
eats their pie

from the middle out...

(music)

(crunch)

(groans)

(footsteps)

Great idea, Vector.

That pie festival was a bust!

All we learned is that
our villagers don't tip.

You didn't come up
with anything, furball!

Who you calling furball,
leatherhead?

Now, Wolfie,

you weren't
at the big pie festival today.

We didn't want you to miss out
so-

(slap)

(audience laughs)

(sting)

Let's look at the clues.

Who has a Meh Burger VIP card,

a grudge against Comedy Chimp,

and is continuously
hit in the face with pies?

Old Monkey!

(sting)

No, the real culprit has
a hackneyed prop comedy routine

who could utilize
an oversized hammer.

Wolferton T. Sidekick!

Hi-yo! -- Wait, what?

(chest opens)

(sting)

My hammer!

(squeals)

(groans)

No! I didn't steal anything!

Maybe that joke about
airplane food

but I'd never do this!

(efforts)

Oh, thank you so much!

Nothing could replace my hammer.

It's one of a kind.

Great job, Vector.

Something that skirt said
has been rattling my chain.

Her hammer is one of a kind.

Why would he steal something
so easily recognizable?

Vec, baby. You did good!

You got the guy. Let it go.

(knock on door)

(groans)

Vector?
Where's your camera crew?

Things got a little dodgy.
I'm flying solo.

This goes much deeper
than I thought.

I need your help, Mac...

(funky music)

Now,

back to
the thrilling conclusion

of the case
of the Missing Hammer!

Amy's Hammer.

Found. By me.

But!
Was the wolf really the culprit,

or was he a patsy?

With Sonic the Hedgehog's help,

we're about to find out!

All clues pointed
to Justin Beaver.

But, when he had an alibi,

the clues mysteriously shifted
to Wolf Sidekick.

So, who had a grudge
against Justin

and access
to Wolf Sidekick's prop chest?

(knock on door)

(door creaks open)

You're not the pizza guy.

Dixon was the hammer thief!

He has a Meh Burger VIP card,

as well as a motive
to frame Justin Beaver.

After his failed singing career,

Justin eighty-sixed
Dixon as his manager.

But when Justin's alibi
checked out,

he had to frame somebody else.

As a TV producer,
he had access to the studio

and put the hammer
in Wolf Sidekick's prop chest!

What do you have to say
for yourself, mug?

(screams)

(efforts)

Pizza's here, Dixon.

And it comes with extra justice.

(screams)

We make
a pretty good team after all.

We nabbed the real crook
and nobody got hurt!

Hello?

Don't I get a phone call
or something?

Hi-yo...