01x10 - It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp

[bunniefuu]

ZOEY: There is no question
our generation is more open

than any other generation
that came before it.

And when it comes to dating,

it's like we have an open-door policy.

That's right... in our world,
anybody can get it.

♪ So back to what I was saying ♪

We've mixed things up so much
that in years,

we're gonna have this planet

looking like a bunch of Jesse Williams.

But it's not that easy for everybody.

Online dating sites
like OkCupid and Tinder

have proven that statistically,

some groups are more selective
than others.

♪ So back to what I was saying ♪

♪ This could be us, but you're playing ♪

While other groups...
well, they don't do as great.

[BUZZER RINGS]

And no group gets less love
than black women.

In fact, % of non-black men

show some bias against black women.

♪ Toss the money in the air, girl ♪

♪ Watch how your dreams hit the floor ♪

Ain't this a bitch?

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Ain't turnt up like me ♪

♪ Nah, y'all ain't turnt up like me ♪

♪ Ain't turnt up like me ♪

Okay, for real,

is there something
in the water around here?

Was there some event,
some movie, some Drake song

that said black guys should
stop dating black girls?

Maybe it was those Wendy
Williams vacation photos.

They were pretty devastating.

I'm just starting to think
this sh*t is a problem.

- Come on.
- It's probably just a slow night.

- Yeah.
- No, it's a slow semester.

Facts. In high school, dudes
were always checkin' for us.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, but didn't you go to like

South Central High?

I'm just saying that we're at
a primarily white institution.

There's a much smaller pool
of black guys here.

Yeah, and some of the pool are gay,

most of the athletes like white girls,

and we're left with very few options.

Who don't seem to be checkin' for us.

Oh, my God, are you guys telling me

that you haven't had any action
in six months?

I mean, we've had some action.

♪♪

These Firecracker Salmon rolls
are on point tonight.

Yeah, this is a really good batch.

♪♪

That doesn't make any sense.

LUCA: You know what else
doesn't make any sense?

How good the brown bread is.

Like, why do they even bring out
the sourdough?

Why don't you guys
just try dating someone

other than black guys?

I mean, college is the place
to open up and explore.

Yeah, I mean, Nomi's
basically been through

every Olympics-eligible country
since she's been here.

[LAUGHS] Yeah, it's crazy.

Can you believe Canada is the hold-out?

[LAUGHS]

But why do I have to open up?

Why should we have to change
what we want?

- I like what I like.
- Me too.

That's what I'm saying.

I mean, I'm all about black girls.

Don't take this wrong, Nomi,

but there's no way I could,
like, go there with you.

Mm. Yeah.

And hey, Aaron, don't take this wrong,

but I'd make you wear two condoms.

Okay. Look, I just could never
imagine not dating a Queen.

Word? That's how you feel?

Yeah, that's how I feel.

But from the way you said that,

I'm thinking that you feel differently?

No, I know you love Queens...

when they're Egyptian, not Nubian.

♪♪

You definitely have a type.

Type? Wait, those weren't
all the same girl?

- No.
- No.

I'm not colorstruck, guys. Come on.

No, dead-ass, all your girls
look like clones.

sh*t is weird.

I don't have time for weirdos.

And I also don't have cash,

so I'll pay you guys back in
retweets. You're welcome.

- Luca...
- Whoa, hold on, man.

- They're not all clones!
- Not cool, Luca.

All right? All those girls
just have mixed parents

and their hair is long and curly
and they have...

Oh, my God, am I... am I colorstruck?

SKY: All we're trying to say is,

sometimes when we look around campus,

it feels like we're really
at the bottom of the list.

- There's a list?
- There's no list.

BOTH: There's absolutely a list.

I heard about the list.

So after weeks of uncertainty

from relationships and guy drama,

I finally knew what I wanted...

to buckle down and focus

on the things that matter
in life... pockets.

So, I was thinking for our collection,

what if we took all of our pockets

and sewed inspirational quotes
on the inside?

Like a fortune cookie?

No.

Like a fortune pocket.

[LAUGHS] It's good having you back.

Thanks.

You know, you're the only person
who didn't get mad at me

or tell me I was crazy
during the whole Cash thing.

It's all good.

No, it meant a lot.

It's all part of your journey.
I mean, everybody has one...

like that braided belt
you keep trying to make work.

Wh... Okay, I thought you liked it.

How could you think that?

♪♪

I mean, seriously, I don't know
what I'm giving off

for you to think I like that belt.

I might be sending the complete
wrong signal to people

and I don't even know.

You know what? You might be.
Not important.

What's important is this sweater.

I know, the sweater...

Um... but do you want to hit
"Black Panther" real quick?

I want to hit this sweater.
Our collection is due.

Yeah, but the next showing's
in minutes.

We can make it if we leave now.

?

It's supposed to be fire.

And I heard Michael B. Jordan

wears his dreads to the side like I do.

Well, then I guess we have to
see "who wore it best."

Why you trying to hurt me?

♪♪

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay, so white girls hold the top spot,

but white girls with an accent
are above them.

Exactly.

Your Kylie Jenners
and Minka Kellys are number one.

But give them girls some broken English

and they turn into...

Gal Gadot.

Mm, she is Wonder Woman for a reason.

Mm, she's bad.

Okay, then you have your exotic chicks.

Those are the girls who constantly get,

"Girl, what are you mixed with?"

Yeah, that's Karrueches,
your Chrissy Teigens,

and your Cassies.

What about the Latinas?

Your Cubans. Hello.

Your Brazilians, your Puerto Rocks...

Chill out, Rosetta Stone.
You and J.Lo are way up there.

Okay, this is some BS, all right?

This list that you're talking about

does not speak for everyone.

I'd like to argue that
pop culture says otherwise.

I mean, you have your athletes'
wives, your rappers' girls,

and all those A-list actors.

[DING!]

I mean, what kind of message
do you think that's sending?

The message is... we're not it.

You are for me.

Black women are at the top of my list.

There is nothing sexier

than a strong, independent,
confident woman.

That's why I'd take
a Teyana Taylor or a Keke Palmer

over a J.Law any day.

Okay, Vivek.

Hey, how's your night going?

♪♪

Hey, what's good, mami?

You down for a little
Telemundo and chill?

♪♪

Uh...

♪ Hey, DJ, rub it all night long ♪

♪ Rub it all night long ♪

♪ Hey, DJ, rub it all night long ♪

You get it now, right?
The list doesn't lie.

I didn't put myself on the list though.

No, but your hips, your lips,
and your ass did.

Everybody's always checking for
the girl who looks black,

but no one wants the girl
who actually is.

Which is why everyone's
suddenly getting lip injections

and ass sh*ts.

And wearing cornrows and rockin' Timbs.

Yeah, but do you know
why it's like this?

Have you ever asked one of these guys?

No. The fact that we would
even have to ask is crazy.

It makes it seem like we're the problem.

Yeah, it's like Malcolm X said,

"The most disrespected person
in America is the black woman.

The most unprotected person in
America is the black woman.

And the most neglected person in
America is the black woman."

[Bleep] hero.

Wait, but I put him down on Malcolm X.

I literally sent him that speech.

Uh-oh, Aaron's got that
light-skinned look in his eye.

Huh? I've got a problem.

- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]

♪♪

Tonight has been crazy.

First we hit up "Black Panther,"
then we went to the skate park.

Then we hit up the grocery store
for eggs.

Then we egged the grocery store.

Finally.

- LUCA: What's up?
- Hey.

[CAR BEEPS]

Hey, Siri, give us directions
back to campus.

[CAR BEEPS]

Calculating route.

[CAR BEEPS]

Siri, stop playing
and take us to the nearest zoo.

- [CAR BEEPS]
- Recalculating route.

What? Dude, no. No more stops.

We haven't finished our project.
We have to go back.

Look, this is how I work.

You're not gonna get inspiration
from sitting inside a classroom.

You'll get it from
going outside and living.

So we'll go back after we hit
"Dingos After Dark."

[CAR BEEPS]

- Siri, take us to San Diego.
- No...

Recalculating route.

Siri, it's me or him.

I don't understand.

You really want Siri
to make that choice?

[SIGHS] I don't.

She's obviously gonna choose you.

Can you please have her play Solange?

Yeah, I got you.

Siri, play some Daft Punk.

Coming right up.

[CAR HORN BLARES]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Oh, hi. Sorry.

This drink isn't right.

Okay. What's wrong with it?

It tastes funny.

Well, what are you looking for?

A drink that doesn't taste funny.

Fine, I'll get you a new one.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

- What?
- Nothing.

Am I crazy for sending the drink back?

You often send your drink back.

So, what, am I not supposed to
get what I paid for?

♪♪

Okay, look, I'm just gonna say it.

We're all friends here, right?

We can be honest with each other.

Do you think this might have
something to do with the fact

that black guys are...

Don't!

No, no, Ana, it's fine.
We're all friends.

We're not that close.

You're about to insinuate
that this is why black guys

aren't checkin' for us, aren't you?

See, normally I would
call you a bitch right now,

but since you're questioning
my attitude, I will hold it.

And honestly, Nomi, no one
returns more drinks than you.

[GAGS] Oh my God, taste that.

No, I'm serious, taste it.

I want to record your face
so that I can show you

what it looks like
when you drink dog piss.

Well, it's like what Jazz said,
I'm paying for a drink.

Should I not get what I paid for?

Exactly. But when you do it,
it's how you act.

And when I do it,
it's how black girls act.

Right. We're difficult, sassy,
full of attitude.

I mean, for me, you're basically
rattling off a club sandwich.

What? I can't do the passive chick.

I see that with my mom and pops.

I need a little bit of danger.

Like, maybe I got to sleep
with one eye open

or wonder if she's gonna throw
a toaster in the shower.

That is sexy as hell to me.

I'm sorry. You just
lost your hero status.

Yeah, where is Aaron?

So... Shukura? I'm saying that right?

Mm-hmm.

Awesome. Where are you from?

Cameroon?

Cameroon. Dope.

Dope. No, I've played them on FIFA.

Look, I get it.

I get hit with Jewish
stereotypes all the time.

Like what? You're cheap?

Whoa, that was... that was quick.

Nomi, being called cheap
is not going to stop somebody

from trying to get to know you
or be with you.

And how are we supposed to deal
with that?

♪♪

You ready to work?

Yeah, let's go.

♪♪

♪♪

Where is it?

My vape pen? It's charging.

No, our project.

[LAUGHS]

I trashed that.

What?! Why?!

It was garbage.

I can't believe you did this.
Now we're gonna fail.

I didn't come to college
to get good grades.

I actually don't know why
I came to college,

but I'm definitely not handing
in anything I'm not feeling.

I am "not feeling"
taking this class again.

I mean, like, what is this?

♪♪

You don't like it?

Oh, no, it's... it's great.

Great if you're gonna wrap a body.

I mean, it's old, it's itchy,
and the color is uninspiring.

I know. That's why it's fire.

I'm always gonna pick the things
that people run away from

and look for the things that
people make assumptions about.

Then I make it as fire as I can,

and that's what I call art, so...

[CELLPHONE CLICKING]

[CELLPHONE PLAYING MUSIC]

You hear this music?

♪ I know I dream about her all day ♪

♪ I think about her
with her clothes off ♪

It's too real.

I mean, that's what we need
to show in our work.

The realness always need to
bleed through everything.

♪ I look for ways to say "I love you" ♪

♪ But I ain't into making love songs ♪

♪ Baby, I'm just rappin' to this LSD ♪

♪♪

♪ Another quarter to the face system ♪

♪ Make no mistakes, it's all
a leap of faith for love ♪

♪ It takes a place
in feelin' that you crave ♪

♪ Doin' love, sex, dreams ♪

What's up, guys? Uh, this is Shukura.

She's from Cameroon.

Well, I actually grew up in Denver.

But she was born in Cameroon...
the motherland, okay?

Birthplace of humanity. Mama Africa.

You know what I'm talking about.

A UN member since , right? Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Uh, where's Luca?

Because he needs to see this.

Is he still here?
He might still be here?

Well, I'm gonna go get you
a drink, but when I come back,

can you guys take a picture of us

and send it to Luca and make
sure you hashtag "motherland."

All right? Okay.

He's kidding, right?

♪ Yeah, baby girl,
you know you got the look ♪

♪ Baby girl, you know you got the moves ♪

Oh, my gosh.
You've got to be kidding me.

- Get out of here!
- I'm telling you.

Stop wasting your time
with "House of Cards"

- and watch "Ozark."
- Unh-unh!

Okay, no, Jason Bateman is
bullying people without a g*n.

No way. Really?

Oh! Oh, hey!

Chad, this is my sister, Sky.

- Sky, this is Chad.
- What's up, Sky?

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Uh-huh.

So, this is the move now?

You're about to start hooking up
with white dudes?

Well, I have no idea
because you just interrupted

when he was about to buy me
a summer ale.

I don't even know what that is.

And I also don't know
why you're trying to act like

all of a sudden you're into white dudes

when you weren't before.

Well, nobody cares
when black guys do it,

so I don't understand
why you're coming at me

for doing the same thing.

I'm just saying good luck
bringing Chad home to Daddy.

Okay, what are you talking about?

I just met him minutes ago.

He offered to buy me a drink,
and I'm sorry,

but I'm tired of closing myself
off from summer ales

because I don't wanna keep
buying my own mango Cîroc.

So, if you have a problem with
this, you can go kick rocks.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Can I ask you a question?

Um, okay?

What's up with you and white girls?

[LAUGHS]

You serious?

Yeah. I've seen you around campus,

and all I ever see you
is with white girls.

I wanna know why.

Okay.

Because I can?

[SCOFFS]

Wow.

♪ Party girl ♪

♪ Come on and move it, party girl ♪

♪ Come on out dancing, party girl ♪

You feelin' it?

Now that's real.

God.

I hate it when he's right

and that he took my braided belt
and made it work.

So...

I owe you an apology.

For what?

Well, you were right.

Hm, that usually happens.

[SCOFFS] No, seriously.

I mean, if it were up to me,

I would've turned in our old collection,

but you pushed us to do better.

That's the thing about you.

Every single time I think
I've got it figured out

and I know what I want,

you help me realize that I don't.

Bet.

I think we have something here.

We definitely have something here.

♪ You, you, you, you ♪

♪ Oh, you ♪

♪ ...for you ♪

What?

No Chad?

You're probably gonna think
I'm trying to be funny,

but, uh... he has a : a.m.
rock-climbing class

he has to get up for, so...

I'd be worried if he didn't.

[STIFLED LAUGHTER]

[SIGHS]

I'm sorry I came at you like that.

I shouldn't have said all that stuff.

Nobody on campus is gonna care

if you're a black girl
dating a white guy.

It's just... I only wanted you
to do it because you wanted to.

Not because you're settling.

I don't know what I want.

Actually, no, that's not true.

What I want is to have
the same college experience

as Ana or Nomi.

I get it.

I didn't know it'd be like this here.

[CHUCKLES]

But if we were going to college
just to meet guys,

we would've gone to Howard or Clark.

Mm.

This is one experience...

a jacked-up experience, but only one.

Yeah.

Don't let it define us.

♪♪

Come here.

♪ Whenever you're ready ♪

♪ Whenever you're ready ♪

♪♪

♪ Whenever you're ready ♪

♪ Whenever you're ready ♪

Hey, can I talk to you?

Why? Is there a white girl behind us?

[CHUCKLES] You got jokes.

Look, I've been thinking about
what you asked me last night,

and here's the deal... we're
in college, and I'm single.

It's not that deep.
White girls holla at me.

Mexican girls holla at me.
We kick it sometimes.

How is that better than "Because I can"?

I mean, what was I supposed to say?

Hold on one second.

All of it caught me off guard.

I'm in my bag, got a couple drinks.

They just played "Mask Off"
for the third time.

And then you come in through
with the interrogation.

Yeah, that's my sister... face
of an angel, heart of an MS- .

Yeah, I can see she has
that gear in her.

Look, I don't want her
or you or anyone thinking

I don't like black girls

'cause that's just not the real.

I don't know where y'all from,
but I'm from Queens.

When I came here,
it was a whole new world.

Everybody's so open,
so I figured I'd do the same.

Yeah, that's what I keep telling her.

It's not so bad to open up.

Yeah. I'm Doug, by the way.

I'm Jazz.

♪♪

I'ma go to class.

Take good notes, girl.

So, Doug, you don't happen to
rock climb, do you?

Nah, these are Air Max s.

I see.

- I can't do that with these.
- I feel you.

Dude, I hate to admit it,
but Luca was right.

I have a clear preference
for light-skinned girls.

I... This is not a good look.

Whoa. Who's that? She is by far
the star of the show.

Dude, fall back. That's my mom.

Okay?

Yo, wait a minute.

Huh?

What?

What?

You don't have a thing
for light-skinned girls.

You have a thing for your mom.

Huh?

So, is your dad still
in the picture or...