02x17 - A Star Is Almost Born

[bunniefuu]

Almost time to pick up Wilma and take her to the studio.

Well, let's see... Oh, Mr. Slate.

Who? Where?

Oh, Flintstone.

Mr. Slate, I don't have time to explain, but I have to take my wife somewhere and I'd like to take the rest of the day off.

Back to work, Flintstone, or you're fired!

Fired? I quit. Who needs your two-bit job?

[theme music playing]

[whistles]

[siren wailing]

Wilma, do you think Fred will like all those clothes you bought?

I hope not, Betty.

I might be tempted to keep them, and we can't afford the money.

My Barney can't, either.

But it's exciting taking things home on approval.

And bringing them back the next day. Yeah.

It's sad, but it gives us something to do with our afternoons.

You think it'll ever happen, Betty? Ever happen?

That we'll ever be able to buy expensive clothes and keep them?

Miracles like that only happen in the movies or TV.

Yeah.

Say, I'm starved, Betty.

Me too. I got so carried away shopping, I forgot all about lunch.

How's about dropping in here for a snack?

[Wilma] "Showbiz Drug Store."

Oh, I read about this place in a movie fan magazine.

Mm-hm. It's where young actors and actresses hang out hoping to be discovered.

Shall we go in, Betty? Why not? Maybe we'll be discovered.

[both laugh]

[Wilma] Oh, Betty, you're so funny.

Oh, certainly is crowded. Oh, Wilma, there's one down here at the end.

Well, you can have my stool, ladies, so you both can sit together-like.

Say, you act like...

On that TV show with the tall sheriff.

His deputy.

Could have had the part, too, but in the tryouts, I limped on my right foot and the part called for a left-footed limper.

Oh, too bad.

Well, that's showbiz.

We'd like a menu, please. A menu?

So we can order something. Order?

Nobody orders at this fountain.

All these people come here just to sit around, waiting to be discovered by producers.

[Wilma] Oh, we didn't know. Tourists?

Come on. We'll try some place else. Maybe there's a place down the street.

So sorry. My fault entirely.

Nonsense. I rushed in and...

Perfect. The greatest. Just what I need.

[Wilma] I beg your pardon? The search is over.

Madam, I have found what I need for my television program.

You're in television?

In it, madam? I am television.

You must be on my next show. Must, must, must!

Oh, a real nut. Come on, let's get out of here.

Believe me, madam. I mean what I say.

Go away. We can tell a phony when we see one.

Phony?

I'm the terrific, super-extra, great, world's biggest talented TV producer Norman Rockbind!

[in unison] The Norman Rockbind?

[Wilma] The famous producer, director, writer?

Also cameraman.

Rockbind trusts nobody.

My card.

[Wilma] "Norman Rockbind, genius." It's true.

And you really mean it, Mr. Genius... I mean, Rockbind, about wanting me for your next show?

Not wanting, needing.

I shall expect you at the TV studio next Friday at 3 for rehearsal.

I just can't believe it.

Me, Wilma Flintstone, on a TV show.

Oh, not just a TV show. A Rockbind production.

Every one of his productions get Emmy Awards even when he produced the weather report.

[humming]

Right on time.

And now, for the championship fight of the year, introducing the challenger, at 253 pounds, Rocky Rockiano.

And in the other corner, the champion, at 247 pounds, Ignets Rockyorgison.

All right, you guys.

When the bell rings, I want you to really fight hard.

And no stopping.

Except for occasional commercials, okay?

Here we go, lads. And good luck to the both of you.

Come on, champ. You got it, champ. Let him have it. That's the way.

[Wilma] Fred, the most wonderful thing...

Shh! The fight. I got 2 bucks on the champ.

Come on, boy. Come on now. But, Fred, this is very important.

Shh! It'll keep. I can't hear the crunches.

Come on, boy. But I have...

After. Later, Wilma, later. Nothing can be that important.

This is, to me.

You got him, champ! Got him!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. You're out.

The winner and still champion, Ignets Rockyorgison!

Yabba-dabba-doo! I won! I won!

Fred, guess what happened to me today.

Yahoo! I knew it! I knew it!

[Wilma] You did? You knew she'd be discovered?

[Fred] The champ had to win. He... Discovered?

Didn't you tell Fred the good news, Wilma?

I didn't want to interrupt my husband's TV program.

What's this all about?

As you said, husband, it'll keep. I've got to fix dinner.

What does she mean? Wilma and Betty were having lunch and...

Wilma will tell him when she gets around to it.

[Fred] Well, she'd better get around to it in a hurry.

Wilma, what's this all about?

Well, Betty and I went to a certain drug store because we were hungry, you know, shopping all morning for...

Get to the point, already. The discovery part.

I will. Now, don't rush me.

I know how you drag out stories.

Just for that... Well, I'm sorry, honey. Honest, I am.

So go on. Tell me.

Well, at this drug store...

The name Norman Rockbind strike a bell with you?

The star-maker of television? Yeah. That rings a bell.

Well, I was sitting at this counter and...

Yeah? Yeah?

[Fred] Yabba-dabba-doo!

Good old Fred. He sure takes things small.

My dear wife, a star. We'll have it made.

Be able to buy things the hard way, with cash.

I'm not a star yet, Fred. Put me down.

Oh, you'll be a star, Wilma, with Norman Rockbind directing you.

Can't miss.

I read where Rockbind makes stars out of nobodies.

Or was it the other way around?

We are on our way, honey. We'll soon have a mansion, a pool...

Two pools. One to rinse off in. Butlers, a private chef!

Our private chef isn't here yet and there's dinner to fix.

Oh, no, you don't.

We can't allow our star of tomorrow to maybe redden up her hands with detergents, which may, perchance, contain harsh irritants.

Oh, we're expecting miracles from Mr. Rockbind.

I have no talent. I can't even act.

Well, maybe your part will be in a Western, and you won't have to.

Now, will you stop with that losing complex, Wilma?

If a genius like Norman Rockbind says you got it, you've got it!

He's never wrong.

Well, maybe he's wrong this time. He can't be. It's in his contract.

Well, he's gonna have his hands full with me.

I can't sing, dance, walk right or talk right.

[Barney] Well, uh, nobody's perfect.

And you can learn all that stuff.

In a week's time? It's not impossible.

I saw a movie once on the early-late show.

This girl couldn't do nothing, but they brought out all kinds of teachers.

[Wilma] And did they succeed? Well, I don't know.

They cut the ending out because they had some commercials left over.

Oh, what's the difference?

All that costs money, to pay for teachers and stuff.

Yeah. We don't have it, Fred.

And where can we possibly get it? Yeah.

Say, what about you two? Betty? Barney?

[Betty] I gotta get home and fix dinner. [Barney] Me too.

Fred Flintstone, you can't ask them to put up the money.

They're our best friends!

And who else would you give the opportunity to help discover a new star, pray tell?

After all, it's an investment.

Betty? Barney?

Oh, Betty!

[Betty] I'm taking a shower.

Hmm. I don't hear any water.

[Betty] Oh, I forgot.

[water running]

Betty, for just a little money...

I can't hear you, and we can't spare any.

Barney. Barney.

Shh! I'm asleep.

May I use your phone? Yeah. Be my guest.

Hello, Mother? Fred. Your son-in-law.

No. Wilma's fine.

Going to be a big star on TV.

All she needs is the advance of some dough to get her ready for show number one.

That's why I called you.

For a couple of bucks, Mom, you will get 50 percent of Wilma's take.

You'll make a fortune.

What? What, Mom?

Why don't I let Barney buy a piece of Wilma's future?

Well, it's too much of a guaranteed thing for a comparative stranger.

Hey, what do you mean, "comparative stranger"? We've been friends for years.

Hold it, Mom. Sorry I woke you up, Mister... Mister...

You know very well who I am, Fred Flintstone. Barney Rubble.

And if anybody should be allowed to invest in Wilma's future, it should be me.

Well, this isn't no itsy-bitsy venture, chum.

Walking lessons, talking lessons. Stuff like that costs money.

How much? Well, just about this much.

Of course, everybody Rockbind works with becomes a TV star.

But there is no real guarantee.

That's right.

But if you're willing to gamble, I am too, pal.

Fred. Yeah?

You forgot to say goodbye to Wilma's mama.

Oh, yeah. Well, you do it, partner.

I got to arrange for Wilma's talent lessons.

Ain't much time left before the rehearsal.

Hello, Mrs. Mama. Barney.

Fred says to say goodbye.

Hello? Hello?

I guess she hung up.

No, no, no, Madam Flintstone.

Now, from the beginning again.

The ants in France stay mainly on the plants.

The ants in France... No, no, no!

"The ants in France," with the mouth open, "stay mainly on the plants."

Understand, madam? Um, yes.

Hey, I don't get it.

What's with these French "ants" with their mouth open?

That's culture, you dope. [teacher] From the beginning, madam.

Now, get it right, will you, honey? The TV rehearsal's this afternoon.

Boy, these lessons are costing a g*ng of dough.

It's worth it, Barney.

Hey, 20 bucks an hour for... Just to find out about "ants"?

Project the voice. Throw it out. Now, again.

The ants in France... Pear-shaped. Pear-shaped.

The pear-shaped "ants"... No, no, no!

Why always wrong?

Why do I continue to try to teach her?

Why? Why? For the 20 bucks an hour.

Yes. I guess that's it.

I hope Mr. Rockbind's feel about my talent is justified, Barney, so the money you and Betty invested in my career will pay off.

If I didn't think they'd get their dough back, I wouldn't have cut them in as a partner for a mere 200.

Two hundred? You said 150 was all you'd need.

Well, at the time, I didn't figure on the porcupine milk.

[Wilma] Porcupine milk? For your complexion.

Latest beauty aid from the film capital. All the glamour babes shower in it.

Shower? How could... Very tall porcupines.

I say, shall we have it again, madam?

The ants in France.

The ants in France. The words round, pear-shaped.

"The ants in France." Wider. The mouth, more open.

I can't open wider, not with these rocks on my head.

I'll take them off. No. You've got rocks in your head.

We're paying a posture teacher a fortune so she can learn to walk classy.

Sorry, honey, there are certain sacrifices you've got to make so someday, over your dressing room, will be a star.

The ants in... You're breathing.

Is that wrong too?

Wilma, time for room-entering practice.

Oh, can't I rest for a while? I'm bushed.

You'll be able to rest after the show tonight. When you're on your way to stardom.

I'll help you, Wilma.

My money, Mr. Treasurer. Sure. Here you are.

Hey, the hour isn't used up yet.

[teacher] I do not give refunds.

"The ants in France stay mainly on the plants."

We've still got 10 minutes coming to us, Fred, I ain't wasting nothing.

"The ants in France stay mainly on the plants."

Hey, Fred, I think I've got it.

[laughing]

Ready for room-entering practice, Wilma? [Wilma] Ready.

Okay. Come in.

Well, how was it?

Not bad, but let's try it again, and get a little more skirt twirling into it.

Oh, what's the use?

Maybe the part I play in Rockbind's show calls for me to be seated all during the program.

Yeah, we'll practice room-entering later when you've got a series of your own.

What's next on the schedule, Betty? Let's see now. Oh, here it is.

"Thank yous to TV audience after show is over."

Yeah, that's very important. I'll give you your cue.

And now, our latest, terrificest, and also great new television personality, Norman Rockbind's newest discovery, Mrs. Fred Flintstone!

Thank you. You've been a wonderful audience, and good night.

How was that, Fred?

[mumbling]

Either you put a little less energy in your kiss-throwing or get the band on your wristwatch fixed.

Almost time to pick up Wilma and take her to the studio.

Well, let's see... Oh, Mr. Slate.

Who? Where?

Oh, Flintstone.

Mr. Slate, I don't have time to explain, but I have to take my wife somewhere and I'd like to take the rest of the day off.

Back to work, Flintstone, or you're fired!

Fired? I quit. Who needs your two-bit job?

Oh, my. But I phoned Mrs. Flintstone three times, Mr. Rockbind.

There was no answer at her home.

She's holding up our rehearsal.

Phone her again at once, do you hear? Or you're through.

Oh, yes, sir. At once, sir. Yes, sir.

I wouldn't let him order me around like this, me, the sponsor, if he didn't have such a high rating.

Here I am, Mr. Rockbind. Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.

I was just about to try someone else for the part.

Now, Mrs. Flintstone, here's what I want you to do at the end of act one.

Hold it, Mr. Rockbind. Hold it.

And who are you?

This is my husband, Mr. Rockbind.

Also the gifted young artist's manager, script adviser and business handler.

Permit me to present our Mr. Rubble, Mrs. Flintstone's associate in charge of finances.

It's a thrill to meet you, Mr. Rockbind.

My wife and I enjoy every one of your productions.

Yes, I know.

We can't wait till the summer so we can see them again.

Now, you were saying, Mr. Rockbind?

About my part in tonight's show.

Well, what I want you to do, Mrs. Flintstone, for the commercial...

Our sponsor sells lotion.

When I first saw your wife's hand, I knew my search was over.

Oh, you're a lucky man, Mr. Flintstone.

Your wife has perfect knuckles.

Now, my dear, when the camera dollies up close on your hands, just turn your palms slowly, you know, for suspense.

[Fred] Hold it! Hold it!

The deal's off, Rockbind.

O-R-F, off!

[Rockbind] Off? Are you nuts?

I told my friends that my wife's gonna be on TV.

All of her, not just her hands. But, Fred...

I'm not gonna have them laughing at me in the bowling alley just so you can show off your glamorous knuckles!

[Wilma] And I say money is money.

I read where commercials for Rockbind pay $200.

Who cares? I do. That's $20 a finger.

We could pay the Rubbles back.

Big deal. And just break even.

An exposure on a Rockbind show could lead to other commercials using hands.

For detergent sponsors, nail polish sponsors.

All you need is lovely cuticles.

Don't laugh, Mr. Manager mine, I read in TV Magazine, that some people who work in commercials make as high as 50,000 a year.

Well, I... Fifty thousand!

Fred, where are you going? Are we going back to the studio?

Yeah, but I'll call from here first. For that kind of dough, I'll be glad to tell Rockbind I'm wrong.

Hello. Federal Television Studios and Sons?

Put me through to Norman Rockbind, please.

I don't care if he's in rehearsal. This is a matter of life or $200.

I mean, hurry.

Hello, Norman? Fred.

Yeah, that Fred.

Oh, Mr. Rockbind...

Oh, you did?

Oh.

He got somebody else? Yeah.

Didn't take hardly no time.

He must have looked in the yellow pages under "Lovely Knuckles."

I'm sorry, Wilma. So am I.

Now we'll have to pay back the Rubbles out of your salary.

Salary?

Maybe Mr. Slate can use you for overtime. You'd be able to pay it back.

Anything wrong, Fred?

My job at the gravel pit, it ain't.

Ain't what? Just ain't. I quit.

Quit?

I thought there was a future being manager of a television star.

Well, now that that's just a dream, you'll just have to ask Mr. Slate for your job back.

Uh-uh.

Uh-uh, you won't? Uh-uh, I can't.

When I resigned, I told Mr. Slate off in spades.

Stop the car, Fred.

You're not walking out on me, are you, Wilma?

No. I'll see you back home later.

[car door slams]

[Slate] Well, Mrs. Flintstone, I guess that explains your husband's attitude and it is quite commendable that he'd want to improve his lot in life.

Well, under the circumstances, I can be big about Fred.

Tell him he can come back to work in the morning.

Um, would you mind phoning him and tell him, Mr. Slate?

Of course. I understand.

A man doesn't like to think his wife saved his job for him.

Especially a proud man like Fred.

Thank you, Mr. Slate, very, very much.

[phone ringing]

Hello, Wilma? [Slate] Hello, Flintstone.

Oh, hello, Mr. Slate.

- Come back to work in the morning. What?

- Come back to work in the morning. Thank you very, very much, Mr. Slate.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. First thing in the morning. Bright and early.

Well, what do you know?

[laughs]

[Barney] Fred! Oh, Fred!

Guess what. About that TV business...

You'll get every dime you laid out, Barney. I got my job back.

Job? Mr. Slate just called, he wants me back.

I'm gone just a few short hours and his business starts going to pot.

Smart man, Mr. Slate.

Now he realizes he can't do without little old Freddie.

Yes, I'll go back. But under my conditions.

Conditions?

When you've got the boss over a barrel, you twist the screws.

He'll agree to my terms for coming back or else.

[laughing]

Fred! Oh, Fred! [Barney] He's not here, Wilma.

Barney, what are you doing here? I came to tell about...

Well, Mr. Rockbind got somebody else for the commercial...

I know, I know. But where is Fred?

Well, he went to see Mr. Slate to give him the conditions.

Conditions?

Under which Fred will agree to return to work.

Oh, no!

[Fred] ...and, Mr. Slate, I appreciate you'd like me working for you again.

However, before I do, there's something I must tell you.

Yes, Flintstone? Well, Mr. Slate...

I had to do it, Fred, so that you could keep your job.

And keep me from making a bigger fool of myself.

You know, honey, there's something I just discovered.

Yes? What?

You do have nice knuckles.

Oh, Fred, you're so romantic.

[Barney] Fred, Wilma, I just dropped over to tell you...

Shh! We wanna see the Rockbind show.

Just the commercial. We wanna see whose hands they're using.

But that's... Shh! Quiet! It's just starting.

And now Playhouse Rockbind.

Brought to you by Softie Skin Lotion.

The lotion that makes your hands so soft they're almost mushy.

Ladies, you, too, can have lovely hands like this.

[Wilma] That's Betty.

[Barney] Well, that's what I came to tell you.

When you wouldn't take the job, Rockbind saw Betty's hands and...

She's gonna make all that dough?

Well, that's one way of getting back the money that Barney put up for my TV debut, that didn't get to happen.

Yeah, Fred. Thanks. Thanks for everything.

Betty's getting exactly what it cost me for, you know, them French-ants-in-the-plants stuff.

You're kidding. Betty deserves twice that for filling in at the last minute.

And I'm gonna get Rockbind to cough up or...

[Wilma] No, you don't, Fred. [Barney] No, you don't, Fred.

[announcer] Ladies, do you have red hands?

Then watch this simple experiment.

[shouting]

I'm telling you, you're being robbed!

Let me up! Rockbind's a robber! You... You...

Steady, Fred, steady.

[laughing]

[theme music playing]

Wilma!

Wilma! Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!