03x18 - The Hero

[bunniefuu]

[Barney] Fred, it's a runaway carriage and there's a baby in it!

Oh! We got to catch it. Here, baby! Here, baby!

Whoa, kid!

[cooing]

He's heading for the amusement park!

How do you know? I can see, can't I?

I mean how do you know it's a he? Girls don't play with yo-yos.

Hey, baby, come on back!

[cooing]

Fred, look. He's heading for the top.

[Fred] What'll we do?

I don't know, but Barney to the rescue.

I'm coming, baby! [Fred] Attaboy, Barney!

Come to papa!

[caws]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

Step on it. We'll be late for the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos' meeting.

Isn't there some way you can get more speed out of this crate?

Lighten the load or something?

Sure, Fred. If you'd get out, we'd pick up another 20 miles an hour.

[laughing]

How would you like to pick up a fat lip?

No. Take it easy. We got lots of time.

Uh-oh.

Looks like we got a flat. At a time like this, you get a flat.

[Barney] Ooh. This is terrible.

I haven't got a spare tire. What you need is a spare brain!

Oh, I knew we should have taken my car, you bubblehead!

Sorry, Fred. We've got to move fast, Barney.

Run to the nearest gas station and buy a tire. I'll start jacking up the car.

Hurry up, will you? Okay, Fred. Don't despair.

I'll be back with a spare.

[laughing]

[groans]

Where does he keep his jack? Here it is.

If I miss this Water Buffalos' meeting, I'll never forgive Barney.

The lodge elects new officers tonight and I'm in the running.

There, that should do it.

Now where is Barney with that tire?

I hope he gets here soon. This thing is heavy.

Hey, Fred, there was a gas station right down the road.

We'll be ready in a flash.

There you are, Fred. That didn't take long, did it?

Okay. Let's go.

Did you tighten the lug nut, Barney? Lug nut? What's a lug nut?

[crash]

Oh, nothing important. It just holds the wheel on, that's all.

Bet we're the first guys ever to be towed to a meeting.

How would you like to be the first guy to show up with a fat lip?

Oh, uh, I wouldn't like that. Then keep it buttoned.

All right, boys.

Nominations for the Grand imperial Pooh Bah of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos are now in order. Yeah.

Go ahead, Barney. Oh! Yeah.

I nominate Fred Flintstone! Not yet, Brother Rubble!

I have something to say before we proceed.

Yeah. It's very important to select the right man to be your next Grand Imperial Pooh Bah.

Go ahead, Barney. Now! I nominate Fred Flintstone.

Brother Rubble, please. I'm not through yet.

Exalted Pooh Bah, we all agree that the next Pooh Bah has got to be fair and fearless, farsighted, faithful, friendly, and fortitudinous.

It looks like everything we want in our Pooh Bah begins with an "F," including my name, Fred Flintstone!

Yeah and so does fathead! Another wise guy.

All right. Now, let's get on with it.

The floor is open for nominations.

I nominate Sam Quartz! I second the nomination!

I nominate Gilbert Granite! Second it!

Get with it, Barney. I nominate Fred Flintstone!

Oh, gee, fellas, I ain't sure I'm worthy.

Will somebody second the nomination?

I second it. You can't second your own nomination.

Why not? It's a lot better than seconding yours.

All right. Now we have three nominations. We need one more.

Hey, Fred, why don't you nominate Barney Rubble?

Are you kidding? Nominate Barney Rubble?

[Poo Bah] Okay. Barney Rubble has been nominated.

Just a second!

Barney Rubble has been seconded. That makes four. Nominations closed.

Gosh, Fred, I sure appreciate your nominating me this evening.

Yeah, Barney. Sure.

You can show your appreciation for my nominating you by voting for me at the election next week.

Sweetiekins, I got to stop in the drug store. I'll just be a minute, and then I'm gonna get you home to bed. Be a good boy, you hear?

[babbling]

Fred, look what's coming down the hill.

Watch out, Fred!

Why don't you watch where you're going?

[Barney] Fred, it's a runaway carriage! And there's a baby in it!

Oh, we got to catch it. Here, baby! Here, baby!

Whoa, kid!

[babbling]

He's heading for the amusement park!

How do you know? I can see, can't I?

How do you know it's a he? Girls don't play with yo-yos.

Hey!

Kids under 12 not admitted without their parents!

Hold it, you guys! Where's your tickets?

[Barney] Hey, baby, come on back!

Fred, look. He's heading for the top.

[Fred] What'll we do?

I don't know, but Barney to the rescue.

I'm coming, baby! [Fred] Attaboy, Barney!

[cooing]

Come to papa!

Great work, Barney. You saved the kid's life.

It was nothing, Fred. You'd have done it if I hadn't.

No, sir. Not me. You're a hero, Barney.

[crying]

Heh, the baby don't think so either.

I guess he dropped his yo-yo and wants it back.

Here, Fred. Hold him a minute. I'll try to find it.

I think I know where he dropped it.

[crying]

No, little fella. Don't cry.

My baby! My baby! Is he all right?

Sure, he's all right. Not a scratch. Mamma.

You wonderful man. You saved my baby.

Wait a minute, lady. I... How can I ever repay you?

Oh, you wonderful man!

But, lady, I... I, uh... I...

All right. Step aside, everybody. What's going on here?

Officer, this man saved my baby. He's a hero, a real hero.

Yeah? That's nice. It ain't often I get heroes on my beat. Usually, I...

She's got it wrong, officer. It wasn't me. It was my pal here.

Barney? Where is he?

Isn't that just like a real hero?

Doesn't want any credit, so he pretends he didn't do it.

Lady, will you please listen? I'm trying to tell you...

I am from the Bedrock Gazette. I smell a story. What's up?

This darling man is a hero. He saved my baby.

Is that so? Great story for my readers. It'll be sensational.

Your name, sir? Flintstone. Fred Flintstone.

I was trying... All right. Get a shot of this.

All set up. But...

[reporter] Lady, a little closer, please.

Come on, hero, look heroic! But...

Fine. We'll run that on Page 1 under the caption:

"Hero Flintstone Saves Baby."

You mean my picture will be in the papers?

Yeah. Page 1.

Golly. All right. What's the story?

Yeah. Yeah, well, uh, ahem.

The fact is... Don't give me the facts, just highlights.

When we saw the runaway carriage, I said to Barney...

Never mind Barney. You're the hero. Tell us what you did.

Like with utter disregard for your own safety etc. and all stuff like that there.

Well, there was this runaway carriage. I got that part. What did you do?

Um, yeah, I only had a split second to make a decision, you see?

So, I...

Gee, it took me a long time to find this.

Hey, uh, I wonder what all those people are doing there.

Mister, what's all the excitement?

Too far back to hear. I think some guy just rescued 10 people from drowning.

No. Some guy just saved 200 people trapped in a burning building.

Uh, name's Flintstone, I think. Oh! That must be my buddy Fred.

He must be telling them what really happened.

[laughing]

Oh, Fred, I'm so proud of you.

[chuckles]

Yeah. I never thought I'd see my picture on the first page of a newspaper.

Fred, your picture's in the paper! Here. You've got a copy.

Everybody's talking about you. Gosh, Fred. You sure are a hero.

Um...

It wasn't exactly like the paper says.

Didn't Barney tell you what really happened?

What do you mean, "what really happened"?

Well, uh...

What Fred means is that the paper exaggerated a little but basically, the account is correct, huh, Fred?

Uh...

Yeah. The baby was saved, and the mother was grateful.

That's basically what happened, all right.

[ringing]

Hello. Yes, Mrs. Goldrock.

What? I'll ask him.

Dear, it's the president of the Women's Club.

She wants to know if you'll give a talk about how it feels to be a hero.

Well, uh, ahem.

Yeah, I guess so.

[Wilma] Certainly, Mrs. Goldrock. He'll be delighted. Thank you.

I never knew they had men speakers at the Women's Club.

I didn't think a man could get a word in edgewise there.

[laughing]

Fred, shall I leave this newspaper?

You might want another copy of your picture.

No. Take it. What do I want with another picture?

In fact, I'll probably throw away the one I have.

Here's half of the newspapers you ordered, Mr. Flintstone.

I'll bring you the other 100 later. Set them down anywhere, Arnold.

[Arnold] Okay. Say, Mr. Flintstone, our scout troop wants to make you an honorary member, and would you sign my autograph book?

Why, certainly, Arnold.

[ringing]

Hello. Just a minute.

Fred, it's the Chamber of Commerce.

They want you to speak at their next luncheon.

[Fred] Uh...

Yeah, sure! Why not?

Mr. Flintstone says he would be honored.

Let's see, what should I write? How about this, Fred?

"Three, two, one, zero. Good luck from Flintstone, the hero."

Hey! That's pretty good, Barney. Thanks.

Three, two, one, zero...

[Wilma] Fred! It fits, don't it?

[phone ringing]

Hello. Who? The mayor!

Yes! The hero is here.

Madam President, ladies, you may not believe it, but I wasn't always a brave hero.

I remember once when I was 10 years old, I had a toothache and I was afraid to go to the dentist.

[all laughing]

Oh, brother.

Of course, I wasn't always a hero.

Once, when I was about 10, I had a toothache and I was afraid to go to the dentist.

[scouts laughing]

Yuck.

Hi, Fred. Tonight's our bowling date.

Come on, let's go. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry, Barney, but I'm going to bowl with Jimmy tonight.

Jimmy?

Yeah, there he is now. Be right with you, Jimmy-boy.

Take your time, Fred, my hero pal!

Gee. No use going out with me if you can go out with the mayor.

[Wilma] Dinner will be ready in five minutes, Fred!

Okay, Wilma. I'll be in as soon as I make this practice putt.

Watch this, Dino.

Keep your eye on the ball, Dino.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

A hole in one! Nice shot, Fred.

Hi, Barney.

Look, Barney, you're not jealous, are you?

What about?

I mean those speeches, and bowling with the mayor, and fishing with the governor, and yachting with the president.

I mean, after all, I didn't save that baby all by myself.

No. I ain't jealous of you.

I figure we all get just what we deserve If I deserve to be a hero, I'll be one.

Fred, dinner's ready! Hello, Barney. [Barney] Hello, Wilma.

I better see about my own dinner. Bye all.

Yeah, sure.

Fred, why have you been avoiding Barney? Who, me?

Yes, you. There's something wrong between you two.

What is it? There's nothing wrong.

All right, Fred. If you won't tell me, I'll call Barney and ask him.

No! Don't! Don't! Uh...

I mean, maybe he went to a movie or something.

[Wilma] Fred Flintstone, I want the truth.

All right. I'll tell you. You'd better sit down.

So that's the story, Wilma. And, you see, it wasn't my fault.

Fred, how could you?

But I tried to tell them I wasn't the hero, honest, but nobody would listen.

You've got to make them listen. You've got to tell them the truth.

I can't. I'm a hero.

If I told them I was a phony, it would destroy their faith in human nature.

Why, it would be like telling them there's no Santa Claus.

Fred Flintstone, I don't see how you can live with yourself.

Come on, Dino.

[Fred] I can live with myself all right! Don't you worry.

I can live with myself fine!

Who are you? I'm yourself.

Myself? That's right, and I'll bet you can't live with me.

Oh, no? We'll see about that. Beat it. I'm gonna have my dinner.

Dinner! That's a good idea. I'm just as hungry as you are.

Oh, boy, roast leg of stegosaurus.

With French-fried cactus rings.

Yummy, yum yum!

All right, buster! I've had enough of you.

Now you go back where you came from before I bop you one.

Do you hear? Get out of here! Oh!

So you admit you can't live with yourself. Wilma was right.

Okay, I'll go. Wait a minute. Wait.

I was only kidding. I can live with you. Please.

Please.

Well, all right, I'll stay. But watch it, Freddie.

Another outburst like that, and I'll leave you flat.

I'll watch it. I'll watch it. Okay.

34, 35, 36, 37...

Come on, Wilma. Please turn the light out and go to bed.

I'm not finished yet. I have to brush 400 strokes.

But it takes so long.

Will you let her finish? I want to get some sleep, too.

Oh, for Pete's sake!

Boy, it'll be good to hit the sack.

Oh, no, you don't! This bed ain't big enough for both of us.

You park your carcass some place else.

Is that the way to treat a houseguest?

Or are you hinting that you want me to leave?

No! I didn't mean that! It's just that I'm all in.

I got to get some sleep.

And so do I. [yawns]

And I hope you don't snore.

Good night, Fred. Don't I get a good-night kiss?

Not until you straighten out this hero business. Good night.

But, Wilma, I can't sleep without a good-night kiss.

Okay. I'll kiss you. You get out of here!

What? Did you say something, Fred? Uh, uh...

No, Wilma. There's a mosquito in my bed.

Get out of here! Oh, pardon me.

Watch it, buster.

Oh, boy, I wonder what the penalty is for choking yourself.

[snoring]

[ringing]

Huh? 4:30?

Who set the alarm at 4:30?

Why, that no-good...

All right, wise guy, what's the big idea?

Early to bed and early to rise is good for all you hero guys.

Why, you...

[muttering]

Temper, temper, temper.

Fred, your breakfast is ready. It's on the table.

I'm coming, Wilma. Good morning, honey. Good morning.

Huh?

Hiya, Dino-boy. What?

That's a pretty cool reception.

I'm sorry, Fred, but there's a little hero matter you'd better attend to before you get any warm receptions around here.

Come on, Dino. We'd better leave.

This dodo egg better be hot, and I better eat it before my no-good self gets here.

Hey!

There is nothing here but the shell. The whole inside of the egg is gone.

Yes, and it was delicious.

Oh, no. Not again. Why can't you get lost?

I'm ready to go anytime you admit you can't live with yourself.

No, sir. I ain't going to admit it.

Suit yourself, Freddie-boy.

There's nothing like a good after-breakfast cigar.

You want one, Fred? Oh, no, you don't! I know you.

[chuckles]

It's probably one of those trick cigars that explodes in your face.

I'll take the one you're smoking. Okay, Fred. Sure.

It'll be a pleasure to let you have it. Thanks.

See, I'm not so dumb after all.

That does it! Out! Beat it! Scram! I've had it!

You mean you admit you can't live with yourself?

Yes! I admit it.

Nobody could live with you! You're impossible!

Get lost. I never want to see you again! Gladly, Fred.

Don't think being around you has been a ball, either.

Fred, what was all that yelling? Wilma, honey, you were right!

I just realized I can't live with myself and it sure is a wonderful feeling!

All right. Here are your candidates for Grand Imperial Pooh Bah.

[cheering]

Brothers, in recognition of the fact that one of these loyal men by his outstanding act of heroism has brought honor and glory to the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos, I say, I move we elect Fred Flintstone our Grand Pooh Bah by acclamation.

All those in favor, say aye.

[all] Aye!

Wait a minute. Wait, fellas.

I certainly appreciate this, but I have a confession to make.

I didn't save that baby. Barney Rubble did.

I just took the credit. Barney Rubble is the hero.

Go on, Barney. Tell them what a phony I am.

But, Fred...

He is the man who deserves to be Grand Pooh Bah, not me.

[man] Hooray for Barney Rubble! [all] Hooray!

Oh, Fred, I knew you'd come through.

I knew you couldn't go on living a lie.

Yeah, but I hate to think what it's going to be like living now, with all my friends knowing I'm a phony.

I don't know, dear. We do have some wonderful friends.

Looks like we'll have to move some place else. Start a new life.

[Wilma] Well, anywhere we go is all right with me, Fred, as long as we two are together.

[barking]

Excuse me. I mean we three.

[laughing]

[drum playing]

What's that?

Look! It's Barney leading a parade!

Yeah. It looks like he got elected Grand Pooh Bah and they're marching him home in triumph.

They're coming up our walk!

They've stopped in front of our house. And coming to our door!

[knocking]

[Fred] Come in.

Hail to thee, O Grand Imperial Pooh Bah!

I don't get it.

It's like this, Fred. Barney pointed out how only a real hero could face up and confess the way you did.

That took plenty of courage, Fred.

[Barney] Yeah. The kind of courage we want in our Pooh Bah.

Exactly, so at Barney's suggestion, we elected you Grand Pooh Bah unanimously.

Gosh, fellas, this really gets me right here.

And all I can say is, well, you made the right choice.

And being a hero, I promise you courageous leadership, and furthermore, as I said to the mayor...

Are you starting that again?

[stammering]

What I mean is I sure hope I can be worthy of this high honor.

That's better.

Three cheers for Fred Flintstone!

Hip! Hip! [all] Hooray!

Hip! Hip! [all] Hooray!

Hip! Hip! [all] Hooray!

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪ Wilma!