03x21 - Foxy Grandma

[bunniefuu]

[sirens wailing]

Hey. Hey, stop the car. Let me out.

Quiet or I'll blast you!

[stammering] But he ain't got a driver's license. He could get us into trouble.

[sirens continue]

We've got company, Sonny.

All right, coppers! Try this one on for size!

[screeches]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

Amazing. It's absolutely amazing, Barney.

Just look at Fred work.

Yeah. Ever since he found out Wilma's gonna have a baby, he's been a regular dynamo.

Cutting the lawn, trimming the hedges.

All the things Wilma used to do.

Mm-hm. Just so she can relax in her delicate condition.

Yeah.

It's like I always said, Betty. It takes a baby to make a husband a father.

I wonder whether my work would be done for me if I had a baby.

Gee, I don't know, Betty. Looks like Fred's got his hands full now.

[humming]

And just what do you think you're doing?

I'm gonna wash the dishes.

Oh, no, you're not.

The doctor said for you to take it easy, and that's just what you're gonna do.

But, Fred, washing a few dishes isn't gonna hurt me.

Honey, there'll be plenty of work for you to do after the baby arrives.

And until then, I do the housework and you don't lift a finger.

Now, go on into the living room and relax.

Well, all right, Fred.

But I hope you know what you're getting into.

Of course I know, Wilma.

Water, Egbert. Fill her up.

Wilma, where's the soap powder?

Under the sink.

Okay, thanks.

I don't see no soap powder.

I can't find it. It ain't here, Wilma.

Fred. Ouch!

Fred, here it is.

Please, Fred, let me do...

Wilma, we have been through this.

I'm taking care of the household chores.

But... No buts.

Now, give me the soap, sweetheart, and out of the kitchen like a good little girl.

Well, all right.

Remember, Wilma, with all the experience I had when I was in the Army, I'm an expert on kitchen duty.

Oh, no. No, turn it off, Egbert! Turn it off!

[sneezes]

[dishes shattering]

Fred, what on earth are you doing? Look at that mess.

[burbling]

[stammering] I'm sorry, Wilma, but accidents will happen, you know.

Don't worry. I'll clean it up as soon as you leave the kitchen.

Now, be careful. Don't step on those broken dishes.

Oh, Wilma, I know better than that.

[dish crunches] Ouch! Oh! Oh! Ouch!

Wilma! Ow!

I know you're trying to help, Fred, dear, and I love you for it, but you can't do the housework.

Let's call my mother.

No, absolutely not, and don't start that again.

But, Fred...

I'll go to an employment agency and hire a professional housekeeper.

You're being unfair to Mother, Fred. She's never done you any harm.

She's never done me any good either.

And you know something?

I can't remember her ever saying anything nice to me.

I can't either, and I got a memory like an elephant.

[phone rings] [woman] Bedrock Employment Agency.

We help help get help.

What? You want a silent butler?

The one you have talks too much?

Just a moment, please.

I'll check our lists.

So this is an employment agency, huh?

I never knew such a thing existed, Fred.

Where did you think people went when they were out of work?

To the unemployment office. [groans]

Now, what can I do for you, uh... gentlemen?

Uh, I'd like to hire a housekeeper, Miss, uh...

I'm Miss Keystone.

You've come to the right place, Mr... Flintstone.

Did you have anything special in mind, Mr. Flintstone?

Oh, no. No, I ain't fussy.

I just want one that will cook, and sew, and iron, and clean the house, wash the windows, polish the furniture, do the shopping, mow the lawn...

You know, just take over some of the duties of a wife.

Yeah. And I'd like her to live in.

Oh, don't worry, Fred, she will.

After all that work, who's gonna have the strength to go home?

Oh, quiet.

Ziegfried, send in our available housekeepers.

[bird squawks] Ziegfried, send in our available housekeepers.

Okay, will do.

[squawks] Okay, will do.

They'll be right out. [door opens]

Ah, here they are now.

Girls, this is Mr. Flintstone.

He's looking for a housekeeper.

[Fred] Hello, girls.

This is Peaches, Bubbles, and Bertha.

Hello, Mr. Flintstone.

Uh... [stammers] Hello, Bertha.

[Keystone] All the girls come very highly recommended, Mr. Flintstone.

Uh... How...? How are you at housework, Bertha?

Housework? What's that?

It don't matter. You're hired.

Hey, Fred, Fred, whoa, boy. Steady, now.

What about Wilma?

Who?

[Barney] Wilma. Your wife.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I'll take Peaches.

Welcome back to planet Earth, Fred.

It's just the old story, Bertha. Beauty versus brains.

His wife would take one look at your beauty and knock his brains out. [laughing]

[Fred laughs mockingly]

Good morning, honey. Good morning, dear.

Hey, what are you doing dusting? Where's Peaches?

In the kitchen having breakfast.

Well, when she gets through, let her do the dusting.

I don't want you lifting a finger.

Fred, about Peaches...

Tell me later, will you, sweetheart?

I gotta have my breakfast and get to work.

Good morning, Peaches. I'm ready for breakfast.

Really? Well, bully for you.

[Fred] Hey, uh...

Well, uh, just stay where you are.

I'll get it myself.

Hey, what happened to all the food? I filled this icebox just last night.

Well, you better fill it again before lunch, Mr. Flintstone.

My deal calls for three square meals a day.

Did you have any breakfast, Wilma?

Oh, yes. I nibbled on half a biscuit.

[Fred] Half a biscuit?

Dog biscuit, that is.

That's all I could get away from Dino.

Now, wait a minute. That ain't right.

I agree with you, Mr. Flintstone.

She needs plenty of nourishment now.

After all, she's eating for two. [gulping]

Listen, Peaches, I hired you to take care of my house, not to eat me out of it.

Look, a wishbone. Let's see who gets their wish.

Peaches, I'm talking to you.

Which end do you want, dearie?

The one with a little meat on it.

Go on, dearie. Let's see how strong you are.

[grunting]

[Fred groans, then mutters indistinctly]

Fred, what happened?

What are you bringing the icebox in here for?

So Peaches can't eat it.

It's just about the only thing in the kitchen she hasn't sunk her teeth in.

Fred, let me call Mother.

No! Positively, no!

Hello. Bedrock Employment Agency?

This is Fred Flintstone.

Flintstone!

F as in famished.

Is Miss Keystone there?

It's about changing housekeepers.

Tell her I wanna swap Peaches for Bubbles.

When? Right now!

Well, anyway, I got the icebox filled again.

[Wilma] Oh, Fred.

[Fred snoring]

[Bubbles] It's 5:00, everybody.

Up, up, up.

Hm? What? Who's there?

Time to get up, Mrs. Flintstone.

I want to wash the bed linen and get it out to dry before it rains.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Uh, good thinking, Bubbles.

Come on, Mr. Flintstone. Rise and shine.

I don't wanna go to school.

What? [mutters] Where am I? Oh. Oh.

What time is it? It's 5:00, and I'm already five minutes behind schedule.

Well, now that I'm up, I might as well take my shower.

Be careful, Mr. Flintstone. I just waxed the bathroom floor.

Yow!

What did you say, Bubbles?

I said, "Be careful, Mr. Flintstone.

I just waxed the bathroom floor."

Oh, my aching back.

Oh, good morning, Fred.

Morning. "Good Morning," she says.

[groans] That Bubbles is a prize.

Gets us up at 5:00, waxes the bathroom floor so I nearly break my neck.

What's good about it?

Fred, sit down and taste the pterodactyl egg soufflé she made.

It's out of this world.

Oh, yeah? That's for me.

Mm! Man, this is really something.

Boy, what flavor.

Well, still eating, folks?

I've gotta get these dishes washed. I'm way behind schedule.

Hey, I'm just starting!

I'll let the dishes soak while I get at the living room, Mrs. Flintstone.

[whining] I'm hungry.

You can stop off on your way to work and grab a bite, Fred.

That does it.

I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I can't take any more of Bubbles.

She has got to go.

Good. I'll call Mother.

Oh, no, you don't.

But, Fred, you can't seem to find the right housekeeper.

I'll find her. I'll find her.

Somewhere in the world there must be a housekeeper for us.

Now, wait right here, Sonny. I'll be right back.

Uh, yeah, Grandma, I'll wait.

Second National Bank.

Assets, $2,500,000 and 63 cents.

Good day, ma'am.

Uh, can you help a helpless little old lady?

"Have dynamite. You'll travel."

Oh, certainly.

Oh, dear me.

All right, buster.

Fill this with some nice, fresh money or I'll blow this joint sky-high.

You're Grandma Dynamite. [cackles] Right.

Say, you ought to go on Guess My Line.

Come on, come on, my fuse finger's getting itchy.

All right, all right. Don't blow me up.

Oops! "Assets $2,500,000."

Correction.

Assets now 63 cents. [cackles]

Okay, Sonny, let's go.

[car starts, then tires screech]

Stop her! It's Grandma Dynamite!

Help! Police!

[boy] Extra! Grandma Dynamite strikes again!

Extra! Extra! Grandma Dynamite still at it!

[man over radio] Calling all cars. Be on lookout for Grandma Dynamite.

She's robbed the First, the Second, and the Third National Banks.

Wonder where she'll strike next, Joe.

The Fourth National Bank. Where else?

[man] Holdup! Holdup!

It's Grandma Dynamite! She's getting away!

Stop, thief!

Help! Police!

She's heading for that car!

Freeze or I'll blast you!

Get going, Sonny!

[Grandma Dynamite] "Grandma Dynamite almost caught.

Police closing in."

Oh, yes, Sonny, I got to find me a new hideout.

Yeah. Uh, say, why don't you come and stay at my place, Grandma?

I got lots of room.

Thanks, Sonny, but I don't think I'd be comfortable at the YMCA.

So if I don't find a housekeeper by 6:00, Wilma's gonna call her mother.

Well, you got 22 minutes.

I can just hear Wilma saying, "It was a tough fight, Mom, but I won."

[laughing]

Yeah.

I don't know why it should be so hard to find a housekeeper.

The pay is good, she has her own comfortable room where nobody disturbs her.

Excuse me, boys.

Could you tell me where I could find work as a housekeeper?

Well, uh, you could try the employment agency or, uh, put an ad in the paper.

Right, Fred? Yeah.

Or, maybe you could...

Housekeeper? You're a housekeeper?

The best.

[Fred] Lady, you've been sent from heaven.

You can work for me.

Well, I don't know.

Oh, please, lady.

You'll have good food, good pay, easy hours.

Huh, Barney?

Easy hours is right.

In fact, you could call them bankers' hours.

Bankers' hours?

Well, now you're talking my language.

And besides, you remind me of my own dear Sonny.

Let's go.

Well, one minute to 6. I guess Fred didn't find a housekeeper, and I can go ahead and call Mother. Go ahead.

At a time like this, a girl needs her mother.

Four, three, two, one.

[Fred] Hold the phone!

Wilma, honey, meet, uh... Meet...

I'm sorry. I don't know your name.

Oh, well, just call me Dyna.

Wilma, this is Dyna, our new housekeeper.

How do you do?

How do you do?

This is our neighbor, Mrs. Rubble.

Pleased to meet you.

Wilma, our search is over. Dyna's gonna be perfect for us.

Oh, we've been looking for you for a long time.

Yeah? So have a lot of people. [laughs]

Now, if you'll just show me to my room.

Sure. This way.

I'll take your luggage.

I'll break your arm!

I mean, I can carry it.

Excuse me, ladies.

I have a lot of on-the-job planning to do. [cackles]

Boy, this is a perfect setup to operate from.

Let's see. What's the target for today?

A-ha! Brick's Armored Car.

Great.

They're delivering lots of nice, new money to the Fifth National Bank today, where it will be nice and safe. [cackles]

I'd better put in a call to Sonny. I'll use my shawl.

A.

N.

Uh, there it is. There's good old Grandma's signal.

It says "ankbay ayday ootay ayday."

Which means "bank day today."

"Love, Grandma." [laughs]

Good morning, Dyna. Good morning, ma'am.

Breakfast is all ready.

Uh, what's with the suitcase?

Are you expecting to leave in a hurry?

No, it's my lucky charm, Mrs. Flintstone.

Some people carry a rabbit's foot, I carry a suitcase.

[Fred] Good morning, ladies.

Good morning, Fred.

Good morning, Mr. Flintstone.

Your cactus juice is on the table.

Oh, thank you, Dyna.

[gulping] Ugh!

What's the matter, Fred? No cream.

She didn't put any cream in my cactus juice.

I'll get it.

Shall I make some toast, Mrs. Flintstone?

Please, Dyna. Yes, ma'am.

Boy, you've got some crust.

[grunting]

What's wrong with this icebox? It's stuck.

Oh, just a minute, Mr. Flintstone. I'll open it for you.

Stand back, everybody.

[Wilma] Look out, Fred!

I'm looking. I'm looking.

[expl*si*n, then Dyna cackling]

Didn't even crack an eggshell.

You can get your cream now, Mr. Flintstone.

[knocking on door]

Oh, that's the front door. I'll get it.

I think it's for me.

Are you sure it was a park you met her in and not a minefield?

All right, so she acts a little peculiar, but I'd still rather have her as housekeeper than your mother.

Come in, Sonny, and say hello to the nice people.

Uh, hello, nice people.

Folks, this is my only grandson, Sonny, come to visit me.

Hello, Sonny.

You sure you only got one grandson? He looks like more than one to me.

Sonny's going to drive his poor old grandma to the market, aren't you, Sonny, dear?

Oh, I'm afraid I can't, Granny.

Why not?

My driving license expired.

It would be against the law for me to drive.

Oh, dear, and I had my heart set on picking up some nice, fresh lettuce.

Well, I'll drive you, Dyna. I have to go to town anyway.

Oh, Mr. Flintstone, you are a dear.

Sonny, I hope you'll be like him when you grow up.

Uh, nice car you got here, Mr. Flintstone. How fast will it go?

Oh, it should do 80 in a pinch.

Well, that's when you want a car to go fast, in a pinch, eh, Sonny? [cackles]

Stop!

[tires screech]

What's the matter? We're here.

Yeah, but this isn't the market. It's the bank.

Really?

Oh, well, now that we've stopped, I'll just go in and see if my money is safe.

You wait here and keep that motor running.

Your granny picked a swell bank to save money in.

They got a wonderful Christmas club here.

Yeah? Yeah.

Your grandmother ought to join it.

You know, once she puts her money in, she can't get it out before Christmas.

Uh, you wanna bet?

[alarm blaring] [man] Help! Police!

[Dyna] It's a holdup!

What's going on? It sounds like the bank is being robbed.

Come on. Get moving.

[stammering] Grandma Dynamite.

Uh, you heard her, fatso. Get moving.

Step on it, Sonny!

[sirens wailing]

Hey. Hey, stop the car. Let me out.

Quiet or I'll blast you!

[stammering] But he ain't got a driver's license. He could get us into trouble.

[sirens continue]

We've got company, Sonny.

All right, coppers! Try this one on for size!

Take the next turnoff, Sonny. Okay.

[Dyna] All right, Sonny, back to the hideout.

[Sonny] Okay, fatso, in you go.

Wilma. Fred, what's going on?

Wilma, they're bank robbers.

She's Grandma Dynamite, wanted in six states.

Seven states, but who's counting? [cackles]

I guess we lost those coppers, all right, eh, Sonny?

We sure did, Granny.

We're staying here till the heat's off.

Now, behave yourself, you two, and maybe you won't get hurt.

You can't scare us, you... You horrid woman.

Oh, Fred, do something.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll do something.

Dyna, you're fired!

[cackling]

[knocking on door]

Answer that, Mrs. Flintstone, but ask who it is.

Who is it?

[Mama] It's me, your mother!

It's my mother.

Don't let her in.

Say, you've got your good side after all.

[Wilma] Fred. Of course I'll let her in.

Mother, am I glad to see you. Wilma, baby.

All right, Mrs. Flintstone, quit gabbing and close the door.

Who are these people?

[Dyna] Never mind who we are. Just sit down and be quiet.

They're bank robbers and they're holding us prisoners.

What? Are you serious?

Fred, what are you doing about this?

What are you? A man or a...

You talk too much. Sit down and shut your trap.

Don't you talk to my mother like that.

Yeah. Now you're going too far.

So?

So I'm gonna bop you one.

Why, you big brute. How dare you manhandle my son-in-law!

Open the door, Wilma, so I can put out the trash.

Yes, Mother.

Okay, Mother.

Keep the door open, Wilma. I got another load of trash!

All right, Grandma.

You're next!

No, no, no. I've seen enough. I'm going.

I forgot my luggage.

[door slams]

I don't think they'll bother you again, Wilma.

Oh, you were wonderful, Mother.

[Mama] Yes.

Well, maybe I'll take a little nap, then freshen up for dinner.

Uh, where's my suitcase? Oh, there it is.

[groaning]

[Wilma] Fred, are you all right?

Oh, my aching back.

He'll be all right, Wilma.

He must be tired from all that activity.

Yes, I guess so.

It's the car used in the bank robbery, all right.

Grandma Dynamite must be in there.

Hey, she's mighty dangerous. Let's sneak in the back way.

Well, I'll unpack first and then relax a little.

Good heavens. It's full of money.

Must be more than a million dollars. Whoo!

It's Grandma Dynamite, all right. We got her with the goods.

So when I saw how Dyna opened the icebox with dynamite, I knew she wasn't the housekeeper for us, and I called Mother.

[chuckles] Oh, honey, I'm glad you did.

I guess that's why I married you, Wilma.

Because you always know what's best for us.

Do you think your mother will stay until the baby is born?

Of course. Nothing could drag her away.

I tell you, you're making a mistake. I haven't stolen anything.

I want my lawyer.

You can't get away with this. I'm a taxpayer!

I'll have you pounding your flatfeet in Flat Rock if it's the last thing I do!

I tell you, you're making a mistake.

I haven't stolen anything.

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪ Wilma!