02x06 - Father Figures

[bunniefuu]

[intense music]

- Ugh!
- Ugh!

Ohh. Well, that was fun.
Good match.

Whoops! Almost slipped
there.
Got to be careful.

Whoa! Oof.

[theme music]

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
I was so starving.

Playing tennis really
works up an appetite.

I wouldn't know.

Hey, you two.

- Oh, hi, mom.
- Hi, Patricia.

Lola, don't forget, I booked us
for a pedicure at 1 o'clock.

Ooh, we better go.

Mmm. Mmm. Sorry, tennis.
Gotta fuel the machine.

- Bye, dad.
- Have fun.

- 'Bugs.'
- Hey, Walter.

Enjoying your little lunch?

Lola and I were playing tennis.
Well, she was.

Tennis. I didn't know
you played tennis.

I love tennis.

How would you like to play

in the tennis tournament
held right here

at the Royal Oaks Glen Oaks
Oakwood Oaks Country Club?

A tennis tournament?
That'd be great.

Well, then it's settled.

We'll enter the father-son
tennis tournament.

Father-son?
Uh, Walter, I'm not your
son.

Oh, Bugs, you really know
how to wound an old man.

I think of you as my son Ergo,
you are my son.

What do you say?

Hmm, getting to hit
the ball to someone

and having them actually
hit it back.

Let's do it.

Wonderful!

Got to fuel the machine.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

chomp chomp

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

[knock on door]

Oh, good, you're awake.
Let's go.

What? It's 4:00 in the morning.

We've got to start training.

The father-son tennis tournament
is in a few weeks.

I gotta say,
I like your enthusiasm.

What's up?

- Are you just getting home?
- 'Yeah.'

- Where were you?
- Out.

- What's in the bag?
- Stuff.

[door slams]

Well, training awaits.

How is this training for the
father-son tennis
tournament?

There's two parts
to the tournament.

Sure, there's the tennis part,
but what I think

we need to focus on
is the father-son part.

If we don't first bond
as father and son

then how will we bond
on the tennis court?

splash

splash

Oops. Ha ha.
Well, we'll just share.

Oh, would you look at us?
We're bonding.

[instrumental music]

- W-what's in the bag?
- Stuff.

I should get going.
I've got to pick up my kid.

Pfft!
You have a kid?

He's not my actual kid.
I-I'm just his mentor.

I j-joined the father figure
program.

What's the father figure
program?

It's a program for kids
who need p-positive male

role models in their lives.

What do you have to do?

You take them to fun places.

Out to lunch, to the movies.

Sometimes you take them
shopping.

You should join
the father figure program.

Hmm. Seems kind
of time-consuming.

But maybe it'd be good.

It's supposed to be
very rewarding.

- Huh. I'll do it.
- Eh, w-wow. I'm impressed.

I'm not always
the self-centered jerk

that people think I am.

Well, I better go.

[grunting]

What does that have to do
with me?

Ahh! Ahh! Ooh!

[instrumental music]

I just want to say
I-I'm so excited

to be your father figure.

I want you to know

that I take this responsibility
very seriously.

I want to make
a difference in your life

because I-I know you're about
to make a difference in mine.

Listen, piggy,
I go through father figures

like you go through
boxes of chocolates.

[whimpers]

I may look small,
but I can take care of myself.

So let's just make this
easy for both of us

and walk away
before anyone gets hurt.

And by anyone, I mean you.

Now, now, Henry,
I'm not going anywhere.

I'm committed to this
program.
I'm committed to you.

Now, let's get to know
each other.

I understand
you're seven years old.

Seven and a half.

- How old are you? 90?
- What?

Ha ha. No.

How come your skin
is so stretchy?

I d-didn't know it was.

Why do you wear that outfit?
What are you? A waiter?

Actually, I'm a caterer.

- Then make me some chicken.
- Eh, p-pardon?

I said, make me some chicken.

Henry, first of all, you
need
to learn how to say please.

And second of all,
I packed us a picnic lunch.

- Ooh, is it chicken?
- No, peanut butter and jelly.

And I might have put a
couple
boxes of chocolates in
there.

Well, can we get chicken
afterwards?

No. After our picnic, we're
gonna do something fun.

Have you ever been to the,
to the textile museum?

They have an exhibit
on early American tablecloths.

[intense music]

Or, um,
we could do something else.

Eh, what do you want to do?

I'm a chicken hawk.
I want chicken.

E-enough with the chicken.
I'm your father figure.

And I say we're going to the
textile museum, and we're gonna

see what those early
Am-Americans ate dinner on.

Henry!

[instrumental music]

See you later, piggy.

'I'm gonna find some chicken.'

Uhh.

I've always dreamed of this.

Tossing the baseball
around with my son.

Oh, you know, Walter

the tournament
is right around the corner

and it is a tennis tournament,
not a baseball tournament.

Don't you think we should
play tennis at some point?

Oh, Bugs, you're nothing
if you're not practical.

You must get that from
Patricia's side of the family.

My side, we're all dreamers.
Ha ha ha. Go long!

Touchdown! Ha ha ha!
Oh, that's my boy.

[instrumental music]

What are you doing?

I joined the father figure
program.

Wow, I'm impressed.

A little surprised

that they would
let you be a father figure.

Oh, I'm not the father figure.
I'm getting a father figure.

Yeah, that makes more sense.

I'm the one who needs
the mentor.

You saw me sauntering
home at 4 a.m.

Heaven knows where I was
or what I was doing.

I'm out of control, man.
I need guidance.

[car horn blaring]

Ooh, that must be my father
figure now.

Eh, I don't want to know.

Ooh, limo.
So far so good.

- Daffy Duck?
- Big fat rooster?

In all the time I say,
all the time

I've known you,
I had no idea you were a child.

Oh. Uh, actually...

That makes you,
I say, that makes you

all the more impressive.

Well, I've always felt
I was wise beyond my years.

Can I have one of these waters?

You can have anything
you'd like, boy.

Can I have four of these waters?

[Leghorn laughs]

Mr. Leghorn,
this is the same idiot

who ruined your movie
and destroyed your company.

Well, that's precisely why
he needs a father figure.

And why you need to mind
your own business, Carol.

So tell me, son, what I say

what do you feel
like doing today?

Amusement park? Putt putt golf?
Ice skating?

gulp gulp gulp

Great. All of it.

gulp gulp gulp

I got nothing on my schedule.
Mentor away.

[both laughing]

Henry!

(Henry)
'Give me my chicken.'

'Hold still, chicken.'

Put him down. I told you,
that's not a chicken.

Either you give me a chicken

or this thing that
looks like a chicken gets
it.

Henry.

This doesn't concern you, piggy.

Come on, lady.
Give me my chicken.

We don't have chickens.
This is a pet store.

Chickens are not pets.

I don't want to pet it.
I want to eat it.

[barking]

Henry, I-I've been looking
all over for you.

Are you this boy's father?

Well, I-I'm his father figure.

Well, you're not
a very good one.

That's the understatement
of the year.

I asked him for chicken,
and he won't give me chicken.

Why won't you give him chicken?

T-this is not about chicken.

T-this is about respect

a-and not always getting what
y-you want w-when you want it.

I'm getting chicken.

N-not as long
as you're with me, you're not.

Okay.

Henry!

[doorbell rings]

Walter, what are you, what
are you doing with a shotgun?

It's a r*fle.

I figured it's about time
my son bagged his first
buck.

What are you talking about?

We're going hunting.

It's an important milestone
in a father-son relationship.

Walter, enough with
the father-son stuff.

The tennis tournament's
next weekend.

I want to play tennis.

Look at you,
standing up to your old man.

That's an important
milestone
too, you're growing up.

Finally I'm gonna get
to play some tennis.

Okay, let's rally a bit
to see where we are.

Ahh!

No problem.
We're just getting warmed up.

Uhh!

swoosh

[car alarm blaring]

Oops. Sorry.

Is anyone ever gonna
hit a ball back to me?

You know what,
why don't you serve?

Alright, but you might
want to stand back.

swoosh

splash

Let me guess. Lola got her
tennis skills from you.

I taught her everything
she knows.

Henry, I-I know we got off
to a b-bumpy start

b-but I'm not giving up on you.

What are we doing?

W-well, the textile museum
doesn't open until noon.

B-but that doesn't mean we can't
have f-fun right here and now.

By staring at a wall?

It's not just a wall.

It's a f-freshly painted wall.

You see, right now
the p-paint is wet.

Soon, it'll be l-less wet.

And if we're lucky

we'll be here the-the moment
it's no longer wet at all

or d-dry.

We're watching paint dry?

That's the most boring
thing in the world.

That's why there's an expression

"Watching paint dry."

We're literally doing
the expression.

[chicken clucking]

- Chicken.
- Henry!

W-what is it with that
kid and chicken?

This is a wonderful moment,
sitting here with my son

about to play
in a tennis tournament.

Oh, I wish this feeling
would last forever.

Well, it's probably
gonna last about 20 minutes

because they're gonna
wipe the court with us.

Yeah. What say?

We've been practicing
every day for a week.

Your forehand hasn't
gotten any better

somehow your backhand
has gotten worse

you still can't serve,
you're afraid of the net.

Well, the closer you get,
the faster they come.

What are we going to do?

Whenever the ball comes to us

get out of the way
and let me hit it.

Brilliant. You know, that's
also from Patricia's side.

[instrumental music]

Huh.

Huh.

Ha!

Huh!

[crowd applauding]

Oh, Bugs, this strategy of yours
is working to perfection.

We've made it to the finals.

'And I feel like I've hardly
broken a sweat.'

Well, I can't complain about not
getting to hit the ball anymore.

[Leghorn laughing]

[Daffy laughing]

- Ho ho ho.
- Ha ha ha.

Daffy, what are you doing here?

I'm playing in the finals of the
father-son tennis tournament.

What are you doing here?

I'm playing in the finals of the
father-son tennis tournament.

Where's your father?

I'm right here.

You're not his father.

Ugh! What are you
even doing here?

Weren't you banned
from this club?

How dare, I say, how dare
you
speak to my boy like that?

Why he, I say,
he's just a child.

Thank you, father.

He's not your father.

I'm his father.
I say, I'm his father
figure.

Well, it's not the
father-figure-son tournament.

It's the father-son tournament.

Look, we could sta..

I say,
we could stand here all day

and quibble over the rules

or we could settle..
I say, we could settle

the matter on the court.

May the best fake father-son
team win.

[instrumental music]

Oh, no. T-the textile
museum's
closed on Sundays.

Oh, I'm so disappointed.

I was really looking forward to
seeing all those tablecloths.

I was too.

I was being sarcastic.

Now, can we please
go get some chicken?

- Henry, you don't want chicken.
- Say what?

T-the chicken,
it's just a metaphor

for what you're
r-really hungry for..

...g-guidance.

I-I can see from that
expression on your face

that's really
resonating with you.

N-now come on. I have one
more
thing planned for today.

D-do you like tennis?

We're watching tennis?

I thought we was gonna
play tennis.

Oh, I-I'm not very good
at sports.

C-chocolate?

[crowd applauding]

Just remember, I say, just
remember what I told you,
son.

It's not whether you win
or lose, it's how hard you try.

Just remember what I told you.

Get out of the way
and let me hit the ball.

[dramatic music]

(all)
Yay!

Ha ha ha!

thud

- Bugs, whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

- Uhh!
- Uhh!

Uh-ha!

Huh!

Uh-ha!

You gotta bring the heat.

They win this point,
and they win the match.

We've already won, son,
because we're having fun.

I can't see anything.
I'm gonna go get some chicken.

Henry, I told you,
c-chicken's just a metaphor.

Excuse me.

Would you mind scooting
over,
so he can see?

[instrumental music]

chomp

[screaming]

'Gosh, get this boy,
get him off me.'

'Aah!'

'Get him off, get him off.
Come on, stop!'

[siren wailing]

Huh. I guess chicken
wasn't a metaphor after all.

[siren wailing]

I'm sorry we didn't get
to finish the match, Bugs.

I know how much
you wanted to win.

[sighs]

Well, the tournament's over.

I guess that means we're
no longer father and son.

Ohh.

'I'll see you around.'

Hey, Walter

I heard there's a father-son
golf tournament coming up.

How's your golf game?

Even worse than my tennis game.

Well, then we better
play some golf.

I'll pick you up
tomorrow morning.

No, wait. You're the dad.
You pick me up.

You've got a big heart,
Bugs Bunny.

You get that
from my side of the family.

There, all fixed up

but I still don't
understand personally

what a chicken hawk
was doing at a tennis match.

(Daffy)
Look..

...I'm you.

[both laughing]

Hey, whoa, whoa.
What's the matter with you?

Fiddling with my stuff?
What are you, nine years
old?

He's seven.

There's something
I have to tell you.

I'm quitting
the father figure program.

But why?

I'm not really seven years old.

- You're not?
- No.

But I know there's
a seven year old somewhere

who would be lucky to have you
as a father figure.

You'll always be my boy,
Daffy Duck.

You sure you don't want
to keep up the charade?

We were having, I say, we
were having a grand old
time.

I can't.

I won't tell.

No, I mean I can't.

Carol ratted me out and got
me banned from the program.

He he he. Carol.

Always wanting to spoil our fun.

Mmm.

Oh, man, that's good.

Ahh, mmm. That's nice.

That's.. Ooh.

This is the best chicken
I've ever tasted.

It's my g-grandmother's recipe.

Maybe next weekend you could
teach me how to make it.

N-next weekend?

You mean, you still want me
to be your father figure?

You're the only father figure
who didn't give up on me

and that's better than
all the chicken in the world.

Maybe not this chicken.
This is pretty good.

You know, when we're not
watching grass grow

you can actually be pretty fun.

Aw, you're a g-good kid, Henry,
b-but that does sound fun.

- What does?
- W-watching grass grow.

I wonder where
we could see some.

Ahh, my front yard.

It's covered in grass.

[door opens]

'C-come on, Henry.
You're missing it.'

'L-look at it grow, Henry.'

'L-look at that grass grow.'

[guitar music]

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

That's my, I say, that's my boy.

[music continues]

[theme music]

That's all, chicken.

That's chicken, folks.

Chicken, chicken, chicken.

Just give me some chicken.