03x09 - Out in the Cold

[bunniefuu]

[Man] Order? [Man #2] Breakfast.

[Man #3] Good morning,
sir. How you doing?

Change? Anything?
Need a cup of coffee.

For God's sake,
don't look at me.

Yeah, I'm talking to you,

you corporate
hollowed-out soulless ghoul.

What did you say? Walk by
me like I don't exist. I exist, lady.

Doesn't mean you have to give me
anything. I ask for change, you can say no.

That is your right, but I exist.
I am not beneath an answer.

Fine. The answer is
no. Have a nice day.

Rich bitch, single,
lonely-heart lawyer.





What, you grow up in Weston?
Hmm? Did you study at Harvard?

This is probably the longest
conversation you've ever had...

with somebody not dressed
in Prada or Calvin Klein.

Hey, Ally, what are you doing?
I'm just on my way to work.

Good. I'll walk with you.
Freezing, huh? Hey, sport.

God bless.

Run along, lady. Don't
be late for Fantasyland.

Yeah.

I know you. I can
spot the dreamers too.

Here's a flash.

Yours aren't coming true.

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made
mistakes in my life ♪





♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has
to bring Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's so
much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know I
can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

♪ And all those friends ♪

♪ Where did they go ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ And all those friends ♪
[Blows]

♪ We used to know ♪♪

Ally. Everything okay?

My life's a fraud. And?

I walked by this homeless
man this morning.

With one look, he knew me.

He knew my whole
pathetic existence.

Is it that obvious? Yes.

I got to go find
this homeless guy.

What? I need to talk to him.

Ally, these people
have germs. Don't be...

I'll be back in an hour.
Push my schedule.

[Woman On Walkie-Talkie]
7290... Oh. Can I help you?

- Is there
a Ling Woo here?
- I'm Ling Woo.

Ma'am, we have a warrant
for your arrest. Excuse me?

What? Please put your
hands behind your back.

I'll do no such thing.
Wait. What's going on?

- These idiots wanna bind me.
- [Richard] What are the charges?

She's been running an escort
service for underage boys.

Ma'am, you have the
right to remain silent.

I have the right not to as well.

- Rhubarb.
- Ling.

You just can't come into a
person's office and arrest her.

[Sighs] The toilets
are hideous. I can't go.

I'm getting a bladder
infection from holding it.

Remnants. Uh, yeah. Never mind.

Ling, we have some
serious charges here.

They're bogus.

They have 21 high school
boys prepared to testify...

they bought dates
from your escort service.

Dates, yes. I
didn't sell them sex.

- What exactly
did you sell?
- Cute girls. Beautiful escorts.

You know how many high school
boys can't get a decent date?

- There's a market. These boys
are actually complaining?
- Some of the parents are.

One mother discovered her son
having sex with one of your employees.

- That's not part
of the service.
- Even so. Richard is right.

These are very serious charges.

How much money do you
make from this little enterprise?

80,000, 90,000 a year, tops.

It's a hobby.

[Both Muttering]

Ooh. Boy, I knew it.
You're also a narcissist.

Somebody sees into your life, and
you just have to come back for more.

Okay. Um...

You love your dad. You've always
been distant from your mother.

You probably went to law
school to half become your dad,

but you're still turning out
more like your cold mother.

That's got to be worth at least 50
cents, isn't it? Hmm? [Coins Clinking]

Lady, don't look
at me like I'm some

profound savant. You're
not that complicated.

How about instead of giving you money
for coffee, you let me buy you a cup?

Your Honor, we waive reading
of these ridiculous charges.

In all my years of practicing
law... The biggest travesty.

- [Richard] Outlandish.
- [John] Abusive governmental...

We're sick of this ongoing
oppression against women...

Successful women, beautiful
women, women who get punished...

for making the silly mistake that if they
venture forth into the American workplace,

they might do so free of
att*ck from a police state...

that only allows them to rise to a
place where they... [Judge] Mr. Fish.

I don't even wanna
see your lips move.

Your Honor, the
State has no interest...

in trampling Ms. Woo's right to
enter into the American workplace.

She's been running a prostitution
ring, a brothel, if you will,

servicing underage clients.

Your Honor, we move for an
immediate probable cause hearing.

2:00. The defendant's released
on personal recognizance.

Adjourned. [Gavel Raps]

What is this, your New Year's resolution?
Take a homeless person to lunch?

Hey, you verbally assaulted me.

You dared me to
recognize your existence.

Is this too much
recognition for you to handle?

I intimidate you.

This is what you do with people
who scare you. You try to bite first.

I don't bite people
unless they bathe.

I'm afraid of catching something
just by having a cup of coffee with you.

Why are we having coffee?
So you can feel charitable?

Oh, now you have a
problem with charity?

You sit on the street corners, begging
for change? You're the big fraud, Louis.

You sit out there with
an outstretched hand,

but you're too proud to accept a
hand-out, you cheap, unwashed, lying loser.

Well, okay.

So now we both know each other.

I'm a proud loser, and you're
a desperate lonely lawyer.

Why do you think that? Because
you came back, not to buy me coffee.

I hit some nerve.

What gave me away? I don't know.

Most professionals
when they walk by,

they have this cold, hard,
driven look on their faces.

It's like they're meant to be
lawyers, stockbrokers, whatever.

[Sighs] You had
this deadened look.

This "My life was supposed to
be different. How did I get here?

"How did I let myself just blend in
with the beige of the rest of the world?

How did I turn out how I promised
myself I wouldn't turn out?"

That kind of look.

[Silverware Clinks]

- Testify?
- Normally, I wouldn't
recommend it, but...

Since when does a defendant ever
testify at a probable cause hearing?

Look, you brought me in.
Do you want my advice or not?

Not. We brought you in because
you used to be a D.A., Renee.

We were hoping maybe you licked this
prosecutor's tonsils at an office party...

and you'd have some
kind of inside, you know...

Good-bye. Renee.

- What did I say?
- Why should she testify?

If the goal is to avoid trial,
that's the only way it will happen.

There'll be no real free
discovery to worry about.

Then testify. We have
to shut this down fast.

We can't have this hanging over our
heads. An associate running a brothel.

Everything this firm stands
for will be compromised.

Oh, please.

- He used to have sex
with call girls.
- [Coughs]

- Excuse me?
- [Gulping]

- That is such
a major bygone.
- You were with a call girl?

- It was before I knew
my character.
- John.

- Nelle...
- Excuse me.

Thank you very much, Renee.

Well, clearly, you're smart.

Do you choose to be homeless?

Yes, I choose to sit
outside in subzero...

I've read where some
homeless people choose it, okay?

They wanna live
outside of society,

and the dumb ones
do it in a cold climate.

I do not choose it.

Through a series of bad financial
decisions, I became bankrupt.

And yes, I am too
proud to go to a shelter.

And yes, perhaps, I'm
too dumb to head south.

Seriously, Louis, you
don't strike me as a wacko.

Well, you'd be wrong.

I have had some
manic-depressive problems,

which have made it impossible
for me to hold down a job.

If you can imagine, I was
once haunted by the Pips.

I... I beg your pardon?

You know, Gladys
Knight and the Pips?

I turn around and there would be the
Pips dancing, telling me to get in step.

I assume it meant get in step
with society or something, but...

Al Green.

Sorry?

I got haunted once by Al Green.

I almost took Prozac
to try to get rid of him,

but I eventually shook
him without medication.

What, you were
haunted by Al Green?

I like to think of it as my
inner psyche reminding me...

that there's music in my life.

And your inner psyche was probably
doing the same. There's dance.

And whether you know
it or not, you know it.

Know what?

That in some ways
you're better off,

that all these corporate drones with the
cold faces who pass by you every day,

they have no capacity to
hear Al Green or-or see a Pip.

They don't have
music in their lives.

There is in yours.

And there is in-in mine.

And the reason you're so sad...

you have no time to let it live.

How many girls do you have?

Forty or 50. All independent
contractors. Not on salary.

Can I get six? What?

I'd like six. I have a meeting
with a potential client.

Big client. He's coming here. And
you what, wanna give him women?

No. It's just for appearance. Some clients
you get just by pulling up in a Mercedes.

This guy, from what I'm told, I
wanna pull up with six women.

You were being honest?

In a way, yes. Oh,

I would love to hear how you...

Well, perhaps you could let
me talk then. Oh, fine. Go ahead.

Any man, when
he goes into a bar,

when he meets a woman,

underneath it all,
he's looking for sex.

Sex, sex, sex, sex.

I'm busy. I don't have time
to trawl the single scenes.

It just became easier
for me to move the

little mouse and click
on "Escort Services."

And it was consensual.
That was my thinking,

Nelle. Nevertheless,
I regretted it.

And I'd never do it again
because I'm a different person now.

But that was my
thinking at the time.

Leave it to you to admit
something was wrong,

but then, nevertheless, refuse
to take any responsibility for it.

I don't... You
defended it, John.

You threw the "it was wrong" tag
at the end of a staunch defense.

- Having sex with a hooker.
- It happened in the past.

I'd never do it again. So what?

- People are made up
by what they do in the past.
- Oh, bite me!

What? I got to go to court now.

Well, Ling wants me
there too. Well, fine.

- Just don't sit
next to me.
- [Blows] Not a problem.

[Stuttering] Peckerhead!

Excuse me.

Louis.

Ally.

Wha...

[Exhales] What are you doing
here? I work in this building.

What are you doing
here in those clothes?

Oh.

Research for a book? I'm sorry.

So you're not homeless.
I live in the North End.

I'm an insurance agent. That's
why I was in the building actually.

I've got a client on the sixth
floor. And this book you're writing?

Uh, it's a nonfiction.

Uh, a treatise on homeless
subculture in urban America.

Thought I should
live the life a little.

But I never meant
to deceive anybody.

It was you who invited
me to have coffee.

I am really sorry.

How long did you plan to
continue this little charade?

Ally, we had no plans to
ever see each other again.

Oh. Right.

Truth is, you kind of
skewed my whole premise...

To be actually invited for
coffee by a passing pedestrian.

Hopefully, you're one of a kind.

Otherwise, my anecdotal
evidence is worthless.

So your barking
those things at me,

that was all part of a-a script?

No. That stuff I
really saw in you.

It takes one to
know one, I guess.

So you were never
haunted by the Pips?

Wish I was.

[Inhales] Did you
really... Al Green?

Yeah.

Well, I'm jealous. At least
there's still hope for you.

Louis.

One more cup of coffee?

Yeah.

[Boy] I couldn't get
anyone to date me.

Even the fat, ugly girls
with facial hair said no.

Yes. Thank you for that. How did
you hear about the defendant's service?

A couple of my friends used it.

I think that they
found it on the Internet.

I logged on. They
put up the pictures.

I selected. It worked
kind of like pay-per-view.

How much did you pay?
A hundred and 75 dollars.

And for this sum, the defendant's
company supplied you with a date?

Yes. And do you see your
date present in the courtroom?

Yes. Over there.

Her name is Leslie.

How did you and Leslie
actually meet in person?

Well, she picked me up at my
house and drove me to the party.

A high school party. Yes.

And then I ordered her
again the next weekend.

For another party. Yes. And
then again the following weekend.

Which was homecoming.

It was after that party
that... That what?

That we made love.

Where did this take
place? At my house.

In my room.

That's how my mother
happened to walk in on it.

Marcus, did you pay
to have sex with Leslie?

I can't really be sure.

- What do you mean
you can't be sure?
- Well, I only paid the 175.

But it was the third
time, and I thought

maybe I was getting an
upgrade or something.

- Hmm.
- Like frequent flyer miles?

Okay. So all together, how
much did you spend on Leslie?

Seven hundred, plus incidentals.
I bought all the protection.

You better pick this
little bastard to pieces.

[Elevator Dings]

♪♪ [Rock]

- ♪♪ [Stops]
- He's in the conference
room waiting.

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Stops]

Mr. Hallen, Billy Thomas. Thanks for
seeing me. I won't take much of your time.

The median age of the lawyers
currently representing you is dead.

You're the C.E.O. of a
hip advertising agency.

You need to switch to a
younger, hipper law firm.

Hold on for a
second. Who are they?

- They're my assistants.
- Your assistants? What exactly do they do?

You're seeing what they
do. We all have our ways.

I do my best work operating
on a heightened sense of acuity.

Mine is best derived
from sexual energy.

Pretty women make me a better lawyer.
It's a fact. I won't apologize for it.

I like the way they
look, the way they smell.

The testosterone they
generate makes me a bigger ass,

and I've discovered the more of
an ass I am, the better I litigate.

Putting modesty aside, you won't
find a more gigantic ass than me.

She never quoted a
price for sex, did she? No.

She said she wanted to make
love to you because she liked you.

Isn't that right? Yes, but I wasn't
sure if they're trained to say that.

Wh-Who? Hookers.

Did you think that
Leslie was a hooker?

You tell me why you thought
she was a hooker, Marcus?

- 'Cause she slept with me.
- And you can't imagine
any girl wanting to do that?

No.

Because? I'm kind of a geek.

Marcus, what was the point
in hiring a woman to date you?

Well, you go to parties with a
beautiful girl, it makes you popular...

with the guys and
also with the girls.

They start thinking you must
have something really cool to offer,

and it gets you real dates.

Did you tell that
to Leslie? Oh, yes.

- And how did she respond?
- She thought it was sweet.

Well, in fact, didn't she tell
you that you were sweet?

Yes.

Did she say that she
found you attractive?

Yes. Did you believe her?

I wanted to. Well, Marcus,
when you were making love to her,

didn't you believe it was
possible she really wanted to?

Yes. Thank you, Marcus.

How did you really
know that I was a lawyer?

I just, um... I can read people.

That's all I can say.

Okay. So what else
can you tell about me?

Well, you love to hear
people talk about you.

[Laughing] [Chuckles] Okay.

Uh... For real.

Um, you have a lot of friends.

Of all the people
in your office,

who you're dating or seeing
probably most fascinates them.

In fact, they'd probably be riveted
just to see you here sitting with me.

Actually, th-th-that's
pretty accurate.

How did you know that?

Oh, that's very funny.

Can we go someplace
less fishbowl-y?

Let's.

I'm sorry.

[Clattering]

Looks like Ally
finally met somebody.

- He's cute.
- Bitch.

Supposedly, that's the
line he used to pick her up.

An insurance agent?

A frustrated one. There's
a difference, Renee.

It's not like he sits in his office
all day amortizing broken legs.

He's interesting, Renee.

And this thing
with the homeless...

That started when he was
asked to evaluate the cost...

of the Democrats'
proposed health-care plan...

and what it would mean
to insure the uninsured,

and he became obsessed
with the plight of the homeless.

He's compassionate, Renee.

Listen to you.
Yes. Listen to me.

I might have found a
decent guy who's cute even.

I'm sure that he's an escaped
criminal, or he used to be a girl.

Or worse, he'll ultimately display
signs of being a real insurance agent.

But... B-B... You know,
one night... one lone night...

I got to look at a
guy and go, "Maybe."

Do you know how
long it's been...

since I have met a
genuine legitimate "maybe"?

When are you
gonna see him again?

Any second. He's
in there showering.

What? Kidding.

And the answer to
your question is lunch.

I'm meeting him for lunch.

[Leslie] We never
discussed sex for money.

I certainly never quoted
him any price. I liked him.

- You were attracted to him.
- Yes. I thought
he was adorable.

So adorable you'd
have sex for free?

Yes. I'm att... But the next
date, you charged him again.

Is that your testimony? It's
date for fee, but sex for free?

Well, it's office policy. I had
to charge him for the dates.

And if his mother hadn't charged in,
you'd have billed him for the sex too.

- No. I liked him.
- For $175.

- Objection.
- Sustained.

Have you ever dated
16-year-old boys for money?

Yes. But 16 is as low as we go.

As low as you go.

Oh.

You were terrible.

Ling. Reese's cup.

Why didn't you establish
that it's office policy...

they're not allowed to
socially see the clients?

I am leaving that
for your testimony.

- You should have
gotten it in sooner.
- I can't do anything right.

- Excuse me?
- I don't need that kind
of negative input.

- I'm being constructive.
- [Richard] Lovebugs.

You're inferring negativity because
I couldn't support your hooker habit.

Bygones! Let's just concentrate
on Ling's case here. Can we do that?

At least I was an adult. She
peddles her little trollops to teenagers.

- John!
- Oh, that's constructive.

- Why don't you argue that?
- You're taking the stand next.

It's important you come off likable,
unlike the company you keep.

- Hated your
stupid frog too.
- [Sighs]

What happened to
lunch? He didn't show.

What? I got stood up.

I never should have admitted
to myself that I liked him.

This is what happens when
you... There must be a good reason.

Maybe he's dead. You think?

♪♪ [Rock]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Stops]

- B-Billy.

- It's a look. Like it?

No. And since I've heard...

that you've already landed the
client who does like it, what's the point?

It becomes me.

♪♪ [Continues]

[Groaning] See, I-I-I'm
lucky that I got stood up.

Th-The last guy I fell for,
look how he turned out.

[Louis] Ally.

I'm sorry. You're not gonna
believe this, but I was almost k*lled.

You see? Ah, you
were almost k*lled.

I'm walking across the street,
and this motorist runs a light.

It's like he was
aiming right for me.

Maybe it was some other
woman you stiffed for lunch. Elaine.

Excuse me? I called the restaurant.
I tried to give you the message.

The police, they made me fill out a
zillion reports. Do we still have time?

Um, well, I...

I have an idea. Let
me run for sandwiches.

You can eat here.

Take me five minutes.

Great.

Okay.

[Ling] Girls are so stupid.

Especially high school girls. They
want whatever other girls have,

whether it's clothes, shoes.

They don't choose on the
basis of their own taste...

so much as they like
what their friends like.

And this is the idea
behind your escort service.

Yes. Girl sees the boy with a beautiful
woman, and then they want him.

But the sex... Absolutely not.
I have a strict rule against it.

This is a dating service only.

You're saying this is
basically just rent-a-date?

[Sighs] Yes.

No implied offer of sex?

Mr. Tisbury, there's the
implied offer of sex on any date.

That's how we get you to buy
dinner. I said girls are stupid.

Men are more so.

So these boys, they're paying
$175, getting nothing in return?

They get company, conversation.

Typical for a man to
consider that nothing.

With you, it's all fruits
of the erogenous tree.

Your Honor, it's one thing for
him to think with his dumb stick.

I shouldn't have to
be prosecuted with it.

- Ms. Woo,
just answer his questions.
- Look, men don't get it.

If you walk into a
party with a date,

the women in the room are gonna
check her out before they do you.

It's not that they're
lesbians. Women are

vain, appearance-driven
animals ruled by envy.

And if a girl more beautiful comes
through the door, we wanna be her.

We want what she
has, including her date,

even if he's
funny-looking like Marcus.

That's the service, period.

We don't offer sex.
We don't provide it.

But you do sell dates
to boys, some underage.

Is this the part where we
backtrack and repeat ourselves?

Get me a real D.A. I'm bored.

So you just hear it in
your head like voices?

Yes. Except it's music. Hmm.

Do you wanna try it
or not? [Sighs] Okay.

All right. Here we go.

[Sighs]

♪ Dance with me ♪

♪ Hold me closer ♪

♪ Closer and
closer Much closer ♪

♪ While the music plays ♪

♪ My little darling... ♪♪ So you're
hearing the music in your head now?

♪♪ [Song Warps,
Stops] What, you're not?

Well, I'm new at this.
Well, Louis, concentrate.

You have an imagination.
You have an inner ear.

And this is not that difficult.

Okay. Let's go.

♪ Put your lips to mine ♪

♪ While the music plays ♪

♪ We're no longer strangers ♪

♪ Now we're more than friends ♪

♪ So dance with me ♪

♪ Hold me closer
Closer and closer ♪

♪ Much closer ♪

♪ While the music plays ♪

♪ My little darling won't
you dance with me ♪

♪ Hold me tighter
Tighter and tighter ♪

♪ Much tighter ♪♪

♪♪ [Song Warps, Stops]

Elaine.

Lunch is served.
And might I say...

No. Appish-snay.

[Clears Throat]

You could have at least
tried to be sympathetic.

I was under oath. Garlic.

If this thing comes
down to whether that

judge likes me or not,
Richard, then I lose.

He hates me. What is the
funny little man doing now?

I have to prepare my final
statement, you ungrateful little pimp.

[Gasps]

Aren't you gonna
defend my honor? [Sighs]

All right. Obviously,
this hostility is about me.

Do I judge you on your past?

Well, I don't have
a criminal record.

Neither do I. Because you weren't
convicted, but you committed a crime.

It was a victimless crime.
Who says it's victimless?

Do you know how some of
these women got to be call girls?

I'm not even gonna go there. How much
did they charge to let you spank them?

Yap-yap-yap... You did
spank them, didn't you?

I didn't spank them.
Her. There was only one.

The only woman I ever spanked
ended up calling me a peckerhead.

You keep turning the
att*ck on me. Why can't...

I don't know what's
going on. You're smart

enough to realize that
everybody has a past.

I also know for a fact you're
even open to legalizing prostitution.

We've had that argument before,
with me taking the other side.

So what is going on?
Why are you so angry?

[Sighs]

I'm not so much angry as I am...

[Sighs] hurt.

[Sighs] Why?

As open-minded as I am about
everybody doing their own thing...

[Chuckles] the man I marry,

the father of my children...

It hurts to think he's
been with a prost*tute.

I-I-I don't mean to get
ahead of this, John.

Marriage is far away.

But whether it's me or not, one day you
will be married. You will have children.

You don't think
they'd be devastated...

to learn their daddy once...

Yeah. I-I guess I feel
you have a duty to them...

even though they
don't exist yet.

And as for duty to
your future wife...

[Sighs] I don't know.

So what happened after dinner?

He walked me home. He kissed me
good night like a perfect gentleman.

He must have a wife and a child
in another state or something.

- I am not this lucky.
- [Elevator Dings]

♪♪ [Rock]

♪♪ [Continues]

This is ridiculous. How long
does he plan to keep that up?

[John] Life is about image.

You're not who you are so much
as what people think you are.

And having a beautiful woman on
your arm, it attracts other women.

It primes the dating pump. That's all
Ling Woo's service was designed to do.

Now, yes, some of the
girls ended up having sex,

but that was not my
client's intent, nor her doing.

Mr. Cage, it's
an escort service.

And there's nothing illegal
about it. Your Honor, if I may.

- Oh, dear God.
- Almost every woman is bought.

- It's good that these kids
learn that at a young age.
- Mr. Fish.

Tell me women don't become interested in
men because of the size of their wallets.

We see beautiful young
girls walking around

with 80-year-old men
on welfare all the time.

People in this country
are seduced by success.

Fancy car, big house,
beautiful woman.

It's the American way.

And it's become increasingly
difficult for me to just sit back...

and see this nation trashed by a district
attorney who probably married ugly,

when if he'd gone into private practice
could have afforded something prettier...

- Mr. Fish!
- [John] Your Honor, there
was no sex-for-hire here.

End of story. We may not like the
idea of high school kids buying dates.

- But it's not
against the law.
- Wait. Whoa.

[Tisbury] It's an
escort service,

where we know for a fact three
beautiful girls have ended up having sex...

with three not so handsome boys.

[Groans] Money's
exchanging hands.

Sex is being had.

This girl says she made love
to him because she liked him.

But then she charges
him for the next date.

Common sense is within
the court's discretion here.

A crime has been committed.

[John] No, it is not a crime.

Is it something Ms. Woo or these boys
should be embarrassed about? Perhaps.

Is it something that one day
they'll wish they can undo?

Probably. It'll comment
on them forever.

Might even hurt
their loved ones.

And I'm sure that they
will definitely regret that.

But that's for a
different court.

In this one, a court of law,

no crime has been committed.

May I help you? Uh,
yes. Um, I'm Ally McBeal,

and I'm here to
see Louis Walters.

I'm sorry. He no
longer works here.

Since when? You are?

Um, Ally McBeal. I'm
a... I'm a personal friend.

One second.

I have somebody here
looking for Louis Walters.

She says she's
a personal friend.

We'll be with you in one second.

What's going on?
Somebody will be with you.

Thank you. But can you tell me
why you're being so secretive?

I'm sorry. You are?

Um, Ally McBeal.
I'm Louis's friend.

He said that he worked here.

He used to, yes. How well do
you know Louis, Ms. McBeal?

Oh, we've-we've
been, um, dating.

Louis has a paranoid
personality disorder.

He worked here up until
about six months ago.

And the last we heard,
he was living on the streets.

[Door Closes] Surprise.

You have a paranoid
personality disorder, Louis.

I just came from the insurance
office where you used to work.

I also checked with the police.

You filed 73 complaints,

complaining somebody
wanted to k*ll you.

You live on the streets.

Did you steal these clothes?

Yes.

Why haven't you gotten any help?

Well, I took the medication.

I just didn't feel like myself.

It made me feel slower,
duller. Dulled my senses.

But after meeting you,
I started taking it again.

No, I wanna be healthy.

I can be healthy. I know I can.

I just wasn't gonna do it for
some stupid claims adjuster job,

but to be with you.

I followed you back here.

You're worth reentering society
for. You make me wanna come back.

I can be well
again. I know I can.

Look, can we, uh...

Can we still see each other?

I don't think it'll
work out, Louis.

I can get a handle on it.

The way you sometimes
hear voices, Ally. Al Green.

I... We get each
other. I know it.

Lou-Louis,
would-would you, um...

Why-Why don't you let me
help you get some treatment.

I know lots of... I'm not
talking about treatment.

Which I'm happy to
get. I mean you and me.

I don't think it'll
work out, Louis.

How many people...

can look inside
you the way I can?

Okay.

[Sighs]

I think the idea of high school
boys renting dates is disgusting.

Mr. Cage, I'm going to give
you the benefit of the doubt...

and assume when you first
heard of this, you took a moment.

That said, there's
been no evidence...

that sexual services
were provided for a fee.

The charges against
Ms. Woo are dismissed.

You're free to go with the
moral condemnation of the court.

[Gavel Raps] Adjourned.

Moral condemnation. Business
will go up. Thank you, Richard, John.

I'd like to sue for
malicious prosecution.

Let's-Let's-Let's...
Let's wait on that.

You coming?

I never meant to
hurt my children,

and I certainly didn't
mean to hurt you.

Hmm. Look, I, uh... I was
probably being a little irrational.

No. You weren't.

I'm sorry.

You did the right thing.

I did? Not giving him a
chance because he's homeless?

Ally, this had no real chance.

He's ill.

You did the right thing.

[Exhales] Yeah.

Thanks.

Buy you a drink at the bar?

Hmm, no. I think I'm
going to head home.

Thank you.

There was no other choice.

♪ Well, I hope that I
don't fall in love with you ♪

♪ 'Cause falling in love
just makes me blue ♪

♪ While the music
plays and you display ♪

♪ Your heart for me to see ♪

♪ I had a beer and now I hear ♪

♪ You calling out for me ♪

♪ And I hope that I don't
fall in love with you ♪

♪ Now it's closing time
The music's fading out ♪

♪ Last call for drinks
I'll have another stout ♪

♪ I turn around to look at you ♪

♪ You're nowhere to be found ♪

♪ I search the place
for your lost face ♪

♪ Guess I'll have
another round ♪

♪ And I hope that you
don't fall in love with me ♪

♪ Da-da-da, da, da
da, da, da, da, da-da ♪

♪ And I think that I just
fell in love with you ♪

[Woman] You stinker!