03x15 - The Good, the Bad, and the Alex

[bunniefuu]

Making my own... take
a lot longer than I thought.

Dude, that
was so much fun!

I don't remember the Wizard County
Fair being that crowded last year.

That's because this is the first year
they have the elf-stacking contest.

Demeaning, but fun.

Thanks for
taking me, guys.

I just can't get enough
of these corn dogs.

Those aren't corn dogs.
They're fried unicorn horns.

A fried unicorn horn
has all the nutrients

a human needs
for an entire year.

It's like eating , pounds of
vegetables without all the chewing.

Why are the prettiest
animals so delicious?

Hey, how come I didn't get to
go to the fair with you guys?

It was ladies' night, but
we did bring you something.

A lady,
possibly bearded?

Here.

It's a corn dog seed.

Go plant it, and you can
have your own corn dog tree.

I don't think
this is gonna work.

This obviously isn't
a corn dog seed,

it's a stick seed. Why
would I grow a stick tree?

- You could build a fort.
- I'm gonna build a fort. Thanks, guys!

Nice work.

You must've had some good times
messing with your brother.

Yeah. Before we stopped
talking to each other,

I used to mess with Warren
all the time.

Well, you are free
to mess with my brothers

any time you want, because
that's what friends are for.

Now come on, blow it up.

I've gotta get going.

She really doesn't like
blowing it up.

I think that was about
her brother.

She must really
miss him.

You know what
we should do?

We should help them
get back together.

That's a totally
nice thing to do.

We should do it 'cause you
never come up with those.

Yeah. Sometimes I think
them, but I never say them.

This one I did, so
let's see how it goes.

So, I was thinking that we should
help Stevie find her brother.

That is a very
nice idea, Harper.

No, Alex came up with
this one all on her own.

Then we should do it.

All right, now let's go
look him up on the Wiznet.

Sorry, we can't. The Wiznet's
down. It's over capacity.

Oh, that's it, we're done.
We tried.

Okay, I know you're new
to doing good deeds,

but let me give you
a piece of advice:

When things get harder,
you can keep trying.

It just feels
more natural to quit,

but, okay, let's keep
rolling with it.

Alex, being older than you,

I remember a time
before the Wiznet,

back when we had to use
things like this.

A jack-in-the-box?
Okay. Come on, Harper.

Let's go find Warren while
Justin plays with his baby toys.

Locate: Warren Nichols.

Warren Nichols is on the
west side of the wizard world.

Thank you very much,
old buddy,

and can I get
an address, please?

- Put me back in.
- Hey, you got it.

Okay.

Just tell us where he is!

He's located
at City Hall,

Mockingbird Lane.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

Why is everything in
the wizard world so confusing?

That's what wizards say
about the real world.

I didn't expect the Wizard City
Hall to just be one endless hallway.

Dude, we're never
gonna find Warren.

We don't even know
which room he's in.

Hmm, well, we could've
asked the jack-in-the-box

if someone didn't
get annoyed and break him!

Hey! The guy has a name tag
that says "Warren."

Maybe he knows
where Warren is.

People with the same names,

they tend to keep tabs
on each other.

Little Harper Adams, she got
her tonsils out last week.

Oh, she's adorable.

Excuse me, hi. You wouldn't happen
to know Warren Nichols, would you?

Let me check.

Mmm... Yep. That's me.

Hello.

We've been looking
everywhere for you.

We're friends with
your sister Stevie.

You guys know my sister
Stevie? Well, where is she?

Is she here with you?
Huh? Stevie!

No, no, no! No, no. No.

She... She didn't
come with us.

She doesn't even know
we're here.

You guys need
to get her back here.

Stevie skipped town when I b*at
her in the wizard competition,

right in the middle of the
Transfer of Powers Ceremony.

Is this where that happens?

Oh, no!
Not out here, in here.

That door!

So this is where I'll go
when I win my powers.

Oh! Outlets in the ceiling.
I like it!

So let me
get this straight:

She bailed on you in
the middle of the transfer?

Then that means
you're stuck here

until she gets back
to finish the ceremony.

Yes! She's evil!

- I knew it!
- Wait, wait, wait.

We've heard two
different stories here.

Well, maybe Warren is lying.

Let's see if he can stand up to
one of my uncomfortable stares.

Yep, he's a liar.

Quick! Quick, he fainted.

Someone give me a pen.

I love drawing mustaches
on people who can't stop me.

No, it makes sense.

He won, and a disgruntled family
member's trying to wreck it for him.

I'm seeing my future
in the present.

Stevie is my friend.

I'm sure she has a reasonable
explanation for what's going on.

Everyone is innocent
until proven guilty.

Come on, Harper,
let's go find Stevie.

I bet you he has
a pen on him.

Alex! Stop that.
It looks illegal.

The hour of victory
is near, my followers.

Very soon we'll have
enough wizards signed up

to start the revolution!

It's locked.

The door doesn't even
have a lock.

Someone must have jammed it from
the inside with a broomstick.

No, that doesn't make
much sense

because this is
the only broom here

and it doesn't even
have a handle, so...

Oh, okay,
I'm caught up now.

...their powers again.

If I get enough wizards
who are behind

in their family
wizard competition

to perform a spell
at the same time,

oh, it will melt down the power
distributor in the Hall of Transfers.

Then, no wizard will ever have
to give up their powers again.

Oh! I knew it!

Stevie was using you
for our lair

so she could start
a revolution.

Stevie is evil!

Yeah, I can see how you might
feel right about that.

I'm telling Dad.

How are we gonna tell Dad?
We can't even get in.

Stevie! Stevie!

Stevie, Stevie,
open up the door.

I have something
to tell my father.

Hey, is it true that you
bailed on your brother

in the middle
of the competition?

Did you just see any of that?

Yeah, the whole bit
about the holograms

and the revolution
and the bad stuff, yeah.

But I'm sure you have
a very logical explanation,

so just open the door and
you can explain it to us.

You want an explanation?
Here it is: Warren won.

But I don't want to
give up my powers.

Okay, it's not fair that only one
person gets to keep their powers.

Evil! It's in the eyes!
Look at her! It's evil!

Hey, if my plan works,

there will be no more
wizard competition.

I just need
a few more wizards

who have no chance of winning their
family wizard competition to join me,

so we can keep
our powers forever.

You can forget
about that, Stevie.

You're never gonna convince Alex
to join your stupid revolution.

Right, Alex?

Right, Alex?

Alex!

Well, I gotta admit

it does sound
kind of interesting.

What?!

Fortunado amontillado.

Alex, let us in!

Come on, Alex. The odds of you
b*ating Justin are very slim.

With my plan, your
powers are guaranteed.

Are you in?

I'm in.

- Seriously, let us in!
- Let us in! Alex!

She's not answering.

I knew Alex was bad,
but not this bad.

I still have
complete faith in her.

She always does
before she thinks

and when she thinks,
she undoes,

and blames it
on somebody else.

But this is serious.

I can't just sit around and
wait for her to change her mind.

I've gotta get in there.

Something's wrong.

Bricks made of plastic!

The natural enemy
of magic.

What are we gonna do now?

You wanna kiss a little bit?

Come again?

You know,
a little smoochy-smooch.

I won't tell anyone.

Alex is about to join
a revolution

to overtake the entire
wizard world,

and you're asking me to kiss?

Sure.

I mean, we all know she's gonna do
the right thing in the end anyway.

I don't think so.

Yes, hello, I'd like a
delivery to this wand location.

Terrific. I'd like one
order of Kung Pao dragon

and make sure to include
fortune cookies.

Thank you.

Yes, you have
a good day. Okay.

You're ordering
Chinese food?

Wizard fortune cookies give
you a glimpse into the future

and I'm gonna show you
that Alex is evil.

Now look,

I'm gonna tell people
we kissed anyway.

So don't make me a liar.

Let's just kiss
a little bit.

It's real... No!

Wow, you got a lot of
people onboard, Stevie.

I think this plan
can actually work.

I knew when we met that you would
want to keep your powers, like me.

And I knew
there was something

I liked about you,
but this?

This is genius.

You are my new role model.

Please, Alex.

I'm sure this is something you would
have eventually come up with yourself.

Yeah, no, that's true,
I take it back.

I'm my own
role model again.

Now...

...we just need to find
one more wizard,

and we'll have enough power
to overload the distributor.

If only there was somebody who
we could totally manipulate.

Hello, Laverne.

Oh, what are you guys
doing in here?

Nothing, Max.

Your sister and I
are planning something

I think you may be
interested in:

a wizard revolution.

I don't know about that.
Spinning makes me throw up.

We're talking about
doing something

that could let us keep
our powers forever.

We just need one more
wizard to help.

Powers and forever,
two of my favorite words.

But "pie" and "filankee"
are still up there.

Yeah, yeah, I know
"filankee" is not a word,

but it's gonna catch on.

Just be ready to cast a spell
when we tell you to.

All right, yeah,
I'm in.

Under one condition:
after the revolution,

you guys make me king
of the wizard world,

where I will eliminate
spinning forever.

- What?!
- Just play along.

You know,
you got it, Max.

You got it. Why don't
you go upstairs and,

make a list of all the things
you want as king.

Sweet! Thanks, guys.

Thank you.

You're wasting your money,
Justin.

You're gonna see that Alex
sometimes goes down the wrong path

but she always does
the right thing in the end.

Then let's take a little
look at the end, shall we?

You can't stand up
against , wizards

who want to be
wizards forever.

You're not really gonna
do this, are you, Alex?

Yes, Harper, I am.

I hope that when this is over
we can still be friends.

There. Do you need
any more proof?

I don't believe
in fortune cookies,

except for this one that
I got that said,

"People are talking
behind your back."

And then when I turned around,
they were.

But Alex is gonna come
to her senses, I know it.

That's not a bet
I'm willing to take.

The wizard world
has only one hope,

and his name is
Justin Vincenzo Pepe Russo.

We need to get back
to City Hall.

Fine, but I'm taking the
rest of these fortune cookies.

I know at least one of them
shows us kissing.

A car with root beer
kegs for wheels.

What are you writing, Max?

Just a list of demands
for when I become king

after the wizard
revolution.

Oh, I get it. It's for
a creative writing class.

Let me see
what you got so far.

"As king,
I shall be served pudding

for breakfast, lunch,
and dinner."

Jealous yet?

I do that now.

Hey, Alex, I think that you'll
be glad to know as king,

I've decided to let you all
keep your feet.

Thanks, Max.

Hey, Stevie, why don't we go
down to the Hall of Transfers

and get a picture
when it all goes down?

I like the way
you think, Russo.

Max, why don't you come with
us so you can take our picture.

I do love pressing buttons.
Yeah, I'll go.

Carry me to the Hall
of Transfers.

I'm the king.

You know, this would be a lot
more difficult without feet.

Okay, so we're here,

and there's one very
important thing missing: Alex.

This looks nothing like
your stupid fortune cookie.

Now that looks something like
your stupid fortune cookie.

Harper, Justin,
what are you guys doing here?

You're not supposed to be here.

Yeah. You guys are supposed
to be building my king chair.

If you're not gonna use those
arms you're gonna lose 'em.

You're not gonna
get away with this.

I mean, I might miss it
'cause I fainted

but you're not gonna
get away with this.

Hello, Warren.

Long time, no see.

And we are going
to get away with this.

You can't stand up
against , wizards

who want to be wizards
forever.

You can forget about your
stupid revolution, Stevie,

because we've thought of
something that you'll never defeat.

Say hello to our little
surge protector!

Hello, surge protector.

Goodbye,
surge protector.

I always forget about
other people with wands.

Alex, you're not really
gonna do this, are you?

Yes, Harper, I am.

I hope that when this is over
we can still be friends.

Stevie, let me get a picture
of you next to the power source.

We can use that to make
our revolution flag.

Max, will you take our picture?

Count to three and press
this button right here.

Now that's one
fun-looking button.

Come on, there's gotta be
something we could do.

I know! Let's tilt
this thing over.

- Yeah. Okay.
- Come on.

Darn these
smooth-soled shoes!

Keep this away
from your sister.

But... What, a pen?

All right. One, two...

Wait! Wait, wait, okay.

Okay, Stevie, put your hand
on the power source

as if you were about
to give up your powers.

Hilarious.

Say cheese! And...

Quick! Now I've gotta
hit the transfer button.

This is worse than I thought! Alex froze Stevie
so she can take all the powers for herself.

- Justin!
- Oh, my gosh, I get it now.

Our sister is truly evil.

And it's not just
fun evil, it's evil evil.

Dad said if this ever happens we
should run and change our names.

Run, Giuseppe, run!

No! We have to stop Alex
from pressing the button.

You guys don't get it.
She froze Stevie

so Warren could get his
full powers. She's on our side.

- Finally.
- Harper!

She just disobeyed the king!

I said no button pushing.
Give me your feet.

Power transfer complete.

I'm a full wizard!

This is everything
that I ever wanted,

plus a visor!

Alex, what
changed your mind?

Nothing changed my mind.

I set this whole thing up from the
moment I realized that Stevie was evil.

I knew it!

Just as I planned,
another Russo victory.

- Yes.
- Hold on.

You can't claim
Russo victory.

You thought I was actually gonna
go through with this. How dare you!

And you!

How dare you think
I'd make you king.

I'm not king?

Aw, man!

Only Harper eventually
figured it out.

No, I believed in you
the whole time.

Seriously?

Yeah. Yeah, she did.

See? This just proves
my theory.

People outside of the
Russos are better.

Ow! She's so cold.

Oh! Now that's a nice
brother/sister moment.

We should go celebrate
at the Wizard County Fair.

- Yeah, I'll drive.
- Oh, sorry.

It's Only People Who
Believed in Alex Day.

Come on, Harper.

Well, I guess there's
only one thing left to do:

draw a mustache on him.

I told him I wouldn't
give it to Alex.

Sorry things didn't work out
with you and your friend.

Oh, that's okay.

Sometimes people aren't
who they seem to be,

but I'll always
have my Harper.

Yeah.

And sometimes things are
exactly what they seem to be.

Like a bearded lady.

I got me some
pudding for dinner.

Are you jealous?

A bearded lady?
Oh, man!

Trade ya.

Take a walk, pudding face.