06x19 - Tabitha's Very Own Samantha

[bunniefuu]

- Mommy.
- How's your chin?

- It's better.
- That's good.

Maybe the next time I tell you
you're too young to fly,

you'll pay attention to me.

Mommy, can we go to the play park
this afternoon?

Not today, sweetheart. I have a lot to do.

But I want to go to the play park.

So do I, sweetheart.
But I told you, I have too much to do.

I have to finish feeding Adam,
then I have to give him his bath,

put him down for his nap,
and then there are diapers to fold.

Why can't Esmeralda do all that?

Because Esmeralda isn't here,

and because Mommy should do
those things.

Sweetheart, I just finished the revisions
on the Nickerson account,

and I've got a meeting with them at 2:00,
so I better run.

See you at dinner, big fella.

May I have a ice-cream cone?

Certainly, as soon as I'm through
feeding Adam.

That does it, young lady.

You know you're not supposed
to do things like that.

But you said I could have a ice-cream cone.

And mommy also said she'd get it for you
right after Adam finished his lunch.

That's not fair.

Sweetheart, don't you understand,
you have to share mommy

now that you have a little brother?

May I go to my room now?

I thought you wanted an ice-cream cone.

I don't want it any more.

Then you can go to your room
and stay there.

Women start to get difficult early in life,
don't they?

Well, really?

She'll be all right.
I'll look in on her later.

I better run.

Say hello to Mr Nickerson for me
and good luck.

Thanks, honey.

Oh, well.

Well, you want a bite, too?

You want a bite? It's cold.

I wish, I wish,

I wish I had my very own special mommy

that I don't have to share with anyone.

Hi, Tabitha.

Are you my very own special mommy
that I don't have to share with anyone?

I'm the mommy you wished for.
Come on, let's play a game or something.

Don't you have to take care of the baby?

What baby?

Oh, you are the most beautiful child.

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Here I come, ready or not.

Tabitha?

Tabitha?

You're such a good hider.
Where are you, my little blonde angel?

Such beauty and such brains...

Home free. Home free.
You didn't catch me. You didn't catch me.

You're so clever, precious.

Now it's my turn. Cover your eyes.

Okay. Only remember, if Mommy comes in

I mean, my other Mommy,
don't let her see you.

I won't.
Now close your eyes and count to 10.

Okay.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Here I come, ready or not.

You're not hiding.

Tabitha, what are you doing?

Just playing a game, Mommy.

Well, play a little bit more
quietly, will you?

- I just put the baby down for his nap.
- Okay.

Now I have to finish the laundry.
See you later.

We have to be quiet.
The baby's taking a nap.

All right, precious.

Why don't we go to the play park?

Goody! What a marvellous idea.

I have some tickets left
over from last time.

You are clever.

All right. Here we go to the play park.

Well, let's see.

What would taste good
after two hot dogs, popcorn,

candy apples, two boxes of peppermints
and cotton candy?

I don't know whether I want a snow cone
or a chocolate drumstick.

Well, that's easy. Have one of each.

You're the best mommy anyone ever had.

I want two snow cones
and two chocolate drumsticks, please.

Mrs Stephens! Mrs Stephens!

Tabitha!

- Hi, Mrs Kravitz.
- Hi, Mrs Stephens. Hi, Tabitha.

- You remember my nephew, Seymour?
- Hi.

Mommy's gonna take me for a ride
on the train. Come on, Mommy.

Mrs Stephens.

Do you realise
you haven't even said hello to me?

Oh. Hello.

Is something wrong?

- Where's the baby?
- What baby?

There's the train, Mommy. Come on.

Mrs Stephens.

Do you realise
that you didn't even say goodbye to me?

Goodbye.

Good job, Darrin. Good job.

But you know, I wouldn't be surprised
if we have Samantha to thank

when we finally get Nickerson
back on the old dotted line.

What's Sam got to do with it?

Well, last night's dinner
was a culinary masterpiece.

And to quote Nickerson,

Samantha was the most charming hostess
he's ever met.

That's very nice.

I couldn't agree with him more.
I'll tell her just as soon...

Never mind. I'll tell her
myself when I see her tonight.

Tonight?

Yeah. Nickerson and his wife
want a return engagement.

Can you blame them?

Larry, I think my campaign ideas
are enough reason

to get Nickerson to renew.

I said you did a good job, Darrin,
not a great job.

It's just one night.

They'll be going back to Chicago tomorrow.

And after another wonderful evening
with Samantha,

we'll have Nickerson
eating out of our hands.

I don't mind him eating out of our hands. I
just don't want him eating off our plates.

Darrin, if you won't do it for Nickerson,
do it for me,

the one person at McMann & Tate
who does the hiring and f*ring.

Okay, okay. I'll check with Samantha,

- and if she's not too tired...
- I knew I could count on you.

- Yes?
- There's a Mrs Kravitz calling

for Mr Stephens.

- Who?
- A neighbour.

I'll take it in my office.

See you tonight.

Hello? Hi, Darrin. How's it going?

Nothing much.
Just a few chores around the house.

Tabitha? She's still playing in her room.
I haven't...

Look, Sam, you may as well level with me.

Mrs Kravitz called me and told me
she'd seen you and Tabitha at the park,

and I think it's wrong for you
to give in to her so soon.

Darrin, that's ridiculous.

Why would Mrs Kravitz call
and tell you such a thing?

What do you mean, "What baby?"

Just a minute, Darrin.

Tabitha?

Tabitha?

Oh, good grief.

Darrin, Tabitha isn't in her room.
I just looked.

I think I better pop over to the park
and see what's going on.

Never mind the popping.

Mrs Kravitz said
she saw Tabitha at the park with you.

Not me. Would you believe Serena?

Why don't you pop over to the park
and see what's going on?

Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll call you
as soon as I find out what Serena's up to.

Bye-bye.

Esmeralda? Esmeralda, I need you.

- Aunt Hagatha. Where's Esmeralda?
- I'm covering for her.

She went south for
the Galactic Rejuvenation and Dinner Dance.

Well, just keep an eye on Adam for me,
will you? I'll be back as quickly as I can.

What goes up must come down, right?

I think I want to go home now, Mommy.

Excuse me.

Well, that was fast.

Now if you don't mind, I want to get back
to my metaphysical meditation.

Mrs Stephens, you're home.

I just thought I'd look in
to make sure the baby was all right.

What baby?

Mrs Stephens,
are you sure you're all right?

Oh, I'm fine.

Mommy and I are going up to my room
and play.

Come on, Mommy.

Would you mind if I looked in on the baby
to see if he was all right?

Do whatever you want.

Tabitha and I are going up
to her room to play.

You don't understand.
I'm looking for my little girl.

You're right, lady. I don't understand.

She was probably with someone
who looks a great deal like me.

There was a slight resemblance.

Then you did see her. Where did she go?

Back where she came from.

I don't think you're
being very cooperative.

Lady, look. If you'd like to get on
the wheel and go up and look for her,

I'll let you ride up for nothing.

But I'm not hanging around
to see who comes back down.

Now wait a minute. You mean my little girl
rode up on the Ferris wheel

but she didn't come back down?

You said it, lady. I didn't.

Well, thank you.

Excuse me. I'm in a terrible hurry.

But, Mr Stephens,
I think you better get home

as quickly as you can.

Yes, Tabitha's fine,
and there's nothing wrong with the baby.

But Mrs Stephens
is behaving very strangely.

She doesn't even know who I am.

Mrs Kravitz.

What are you doing here?

I think you better hurry
before it's too late.

Too late?

Mrs Kravitz, is something wrong?
Where's Aunt Hagatha?

Mrs Stephens, calm yourself.

The baby's fine,
and Tabitha's up in her room playing.

Remember?

Oh, yes. Of course.

Well, Mrs Kravitz, if you'll excuse me,

I think I'll go up
and have a little talk with her.

If you don't mind my saying so,
Mrs Stephens,

I think you ought to go and lie down
and have a nice long rest.

What for? There's nothing wrong with me.

That's what they all say.

But I want to have real food for
our tea party and real tea to drink.

All right, sweetheart. I'll pop down
to the kitchen and fix us lots of goodies,

then we can have a real party.

Tabitha, where have you been?

Oh, hello, Mommy.

Don't "oh, hello, Mommy" me, young lady.

What have you been up to,
and where's Auntie Serena?

Auntie Serena isn't here, Mommy.

She took you to the park, didn't she?

- Tabitha.
- She didn't, Mommy. Honest.

Sam?

Hello.

Would you mind telling me
what's going on around here?

Mrs Kravitz bugging me at the office
is not something that I look forward to.

Nothing's going on around here,
except Tabitha's waiting for her goodies.

And what was Tabitha doing at the park?

We had fun at the park.

But I thought you said she was with Serena.

Serena?

- Sam, are you all right?
- Oh, I'm fine.

Now I'm gonna give you a little time
to think that over,

and if you don't tell me the truth,
I'm gonna put you across my knee.

And that goes for you too, Serena.

And don't think I can't do it.

I have to take these up to Tabitha.
She's waiting.

Mrs Kravitz.
I didn't know you were still here.

I thought I should stay,
in case I could be of any help.

I really don't think it's...

I tried to get Mrs Stephens
to lie down and rest,

but she keeps insisting she's fine.

That's what they all say, you know.

Mrs Kravitz, I don't think
you need to concern yourself any more.

Believe me, Mr Stephens,
your wife has been behaving very strangely.

Darrin. What brings you home so early?

I just told you in the kitchen that...

That must have been Serena
you were talking to.

She's been keeping Tabitha
entertained all day.

Mrs Kravitz,
my cousin and I look very much alike,

- and she has a very weird sense of humour.
- Oh?

We appreciate your concern, Mrs Kravitz,

but as you can see, everything's fine,
so you can run along home and...

Mind your...
Mind your way going across the street.

After all, you have gotten yourself
a little overwrought.

You and your cousin certainly bear
a remarkable resemblance.

I could still swear it
was you all the time.

I know.
Serena even confuses me sometimes.

- You sure you're all right?
- Perfectly.

So, thank you very much, Mrs Kravitz.

Samantha, your freaked-out cousin
has done some wild, wacky things,

but this I don't understand.

Maybe she's upset
because we punished Tabitha.

You know she's a real softy, down deep.

Inside.

Sure. And it's none of her business

- what we do with Tabitha.
- She may still be hanging around.

I'm sure she is,
upside down from a rafter in the attic.

Darrin. Will you relax
before you make things worse?

- Speaking of worse, I've got to call Larry.
- Why do you have to call Larry?

To break a dinner date, I'm not surprised,
I forgot to tell you about.

He took the liberty of asking the
Nickersons over again tonight,

and they were supposed to arrive early
for cocktails.

Oh, honey.
Now there's no reason to cancel dinner.

I can whip up something.

Sure. So can Serena.

Don't worry about her. She's like a child.

Her attention span is highly limited.

She's had her fun for the day.
I don't think she'll be back.

And what about you?
This has been a hectic day.

Will you stop worrying? I'm fine.

You don't let me get started with dinner,
you will have something to worry about.

- Sam, you know something?
- What?

You're a witch in a million.

That's Daddy's big boy.

He's gonna grow up to be a linebacker,
aren't you, fella?

6:00 on the button.
Just our luck they're on time.

Well, we're ready.

I'll take Adam upstairs and check on
Tabitha while you answer the door.

Isn't that right?

What was that? Well, come on. Let's go.

Okay. Here we go. Here we go.

- Oh, Darrin. Here we are, right on the dot.
- Larry. Mr and Mrs Nickerson.

Good evening. Nice of you

- to have us back so soon, Stephens.
- It's our pleasure.

I hope it isn't too much of an imposition
on you and your wife, Mr Stephens.

It isn't an imposition at all.
It's our pleasure.

Well, Stephens, that's a very special
little lady you have there.

- I know.
- And a very special little baby boy.

He's the cutest little baby I've ever seen.

- And he's an absolute angel.
- Why, sure.

Any toofens in there? Show me.

- Let me see the little...
- About one and a half teeth, I think.

Well, as much as Adam is enjoying
all this attention,

I think it's time he went to bed.

Sweetheart, there's a tray of hors
d'oeuvres in the refrigerator. Night-night.

- Nighty-night.
- Good night, young fellow.

- Bye-bye, Adam.
- Goodnight, Adam.

Come on in. Make yourself at home.

Come on.

Come on.

You have to dress just like Mommy.

Yes, Tate. I'll be down to your office
early in the morning to sign the papers.

I fully approve of Stephens' new concept.

Well, that's good news, Mr Nickerson.

I'm particularly pleased
with the way Stephens worked up my ideas.

- Good evening, everyone.
- Well, that was fast.

Well, little Adam certainly
doesn't give you any trouble

when you put him down, does he?

- That little angel.
- I don't pay much attention to him.

I wanted Tabitha to come down
and say hello to everyone.

- She's my little angel.
- Hi, Tabitha.

- You remember Mr and Mrs Nickerson?
- How do you do?

Good evening, little lady.

It's nice to see you again, Tabitha.

Tabitha is the most perfect child
anyone could wish for.

- Thank you, Mommy.
- You're welcome, my little darling.

Okay, Tabitha. You run up to bed now.

Oh, look, Tabitha. More goodies for you.

Those goodies are for the adults.

I consider Tabitha an adult.

My, she is getting to be a big
girl, isn't she?

She's big, she's smart, she's pretty,
she's good as gold.

I am the luckiest mother in the world
to have a little girl like Tabitha.

I should say you are.

A pretty big girl and
a handsome little boy.

Little boy?

What little boy?

You're quite a kidder, Sam.

Take Tabitha upstairs, Sam.

This is not the children's hour.

I want to go up to my room now, Mommy.

My tummy feels like I've had enough.

Well, all right, my little precious.
Whatever you want. Come along.

Goodnight, Tabitha.

Tabitha, sweetheart,

are you sure you don't want to play
another game of hide-and-seek?

I don't feel like playing any more.

All right, Serena.
Just what do you think you're up to?

Serena? Serena, who?

I told you, Mommy. It's not Serena.

It isn't?

It isn't.

It's my very own special mommy
that I don't have to share with anyone.

I wished her.

- Why did you do that?
- Because you're so busy with the baby.

Oh, Tabitha. I am busy with
the baby because he's little,

just like you used to be.

But that doesn't mean I don't love you
as much as ever.

Mommy, my tummy hurts.
I think I ate too much today.

I'll get you something
to make you feel better.

Now, you wish your very own
special mommy,

who spoils you rotten, to go away.

And remember, real mommies
sometimes have to say no.

But it still means I love you, okay?

Okay, Mommy.

Oh, my...

Oh, my goodness.

- Sweetheart?
- Honey, your drink's on the table there.

Oh, thanks. Tabitha helped me feed Adam,

and helped me give him his bath,
and she did very well, too.

So tomorrow I'm gonna take her
to the play park,

and then we're gonna go shopping
for a new dress.

- Are you sure you're not overcompensating?
- Not at all.

I just want her to know that the women
around here still have equal rights,

no matter how handsome
and attractive the men are.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Hello, Mrs Kravitz.

How is she, Mr Stephens?
Does she still seem all right?

She's fine, Mrs Kravitz.
Of course, that's what they all say.

I hope you're watching
for any sign of a relapse.

And remember, Mr Stephens,
if you need me anytime,

I'm right here, just across the street.

Great news. Hurricane Gladys
is right off your starboard bow.

Thank you, Mrs Kravitz.
I'll keep that in mind. Goodbye.

That Mrs Kravitz is something else.

But thankfully the whole nightmare is over.

You have a lot more
than that to be thankful for.

- I know. I know. You, Tabitha, Adam.
- No.

That's not exactly what I had in mind.

You can be thankful that it was not Serena

who was entertaining Tabitha
all day yesterday.

- Why?
- Darrin.

If she had overheard some of the things
you said about her,

wacky, freaked-out,
hanging from her toes in the attic.

She's very sensitive, you know.
She might have turned you into a toad.

Sam, what would you do if one of
your family turned me into a toad?

That's easy.

I'd just turn myself into a toad
and hop right on your lily pad.