01x01 - Do as Planned

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Money Heist". Aired: May 2, 2017 - present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


A criminal mastermind who goes by "The Professor" has a plan to pull off the biggest heist in recorded history -- to print billions of euros in the Royal Mint of Spain.
Post Reply

01x01 - Do as Planned

Post by bunniefuu »

Stop or I’ll sh**t!

No!

"My name’s Tokyo.

But when this story started,
that wasn’t my name.

This was me.

SUSPECT'S WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN

And this, the love of my life.

ROBBER GETS sh*t DEAD

The last time I saw him
I left him in a pool of blood

with his eyes open.

We did clean robberies,

but mixing love and work never works.

So, when the security guard sh*t,
I had to change my job.

From robber to m*rder*r.

And that’s how I started to run away.

Somehow, I was dead too.

Or almost dead.

I had been hidden for days

and my photo wallpapered
police stations all over Spain.

I’d get a years’ sentence.

And I’m really not the type of girl
who likes getting old

in the cell of a prison.

I prefer running away.

Body and soul.

And if I can’t take my body there,

at least let my soul escape."

"I had no time left and there were
important things I had to do.

Just one, really."

Hello?

"Mum?"

Oh, my girl.

"How are you, sweetheart?"

What’s happening?

"Haven’t you seen the news?"

All those things they say about me.

Yes, of course I’ve seen them.

You know what?

I’m thinking about going on a journey.

"I may join a Chinese ship.

As a cook.

Didn’t you say
I couldn’t even make an omelette?

So I’ll learn. What do you think?"

I don’t know, sweetheart.

What if they only eat Chinese food?

What does that journey mean,

"that I won’t see you again?"

Don’t talk nonsense.

Of course you’ll see me.

"I’ll buy you a ticket
so you come to visit me."

Visit you where?

At the cemetery?

Are you alone?

"Mum, are you alone?"

Yes.

"Then go to the street,
as if you went to the market.

I’ll find you."

"And that day,
the day I was going to the slaughterhouse,

my guardian angel appeared.

But you never know for certain
what a guardian angel looks like,

and you’d never imagine
he’d appear in a Seat Ibiza

of ."

Excuse me, have you got a minute?

No.

Cooking in a Chinese ship
only has one advantage,

you don’t have to do the washing-up.

"For a moment I thought about the Chinese

and that I hate people who spit."

-Who are you, a policeman?
-Wait, wait.

You’re going to the slaughterhouse,
there’s a squad waiting for you

and they have a car since six days ago...

Why would I believe you?

"And that’s how I met the Professor,

pointing a g*n to his balls."

May I?

"The good thing about relationships

is that you finally forget
how they started."

May I?

They’re already in your mother’s house.

That’s why I came to help you.

I want to propose you some business,

a robbery, a robbery that’s...

singular.

I’m looking for people who...

Well, people who don’t have much to lose.

What do you think about...

, million euros?

"Nobody had done a job like that,

neither in New York,
nor in London, nor in Monte Carlo.

So if my picture was again in the papers,

at least it’d be due
to the biggest robbery ever."

WELCOME

I welcome you

and... I thank you
for having accepted this...

this job offer.

We’ll live here,
far from the worldly noise.

Five months, the five months
we’ll spend studying

-how to do the job.
-What do you mean, five months?

Are we crazy?

Look, people spend years studying

to earn a salary,
a salary which, in the best of cases,

is just a salary, a shitty salary.

What are five months?

I’ve been thinking about this...

for much longer.

Not to have to work ever again.

Neither you

nor your children.

Okay.

You don’t know each other yet
and I want it go on like that.

I don’t want any names,
or personal questions,

or, of course, personal relationships.

I want each of you to choose a name,
something simple.

It can be numbers, planets, cities...

-Like "Mister , miss ."
-That’s a wrong start. I can’t

-remember my telephone number.
-That’s why I said that.

-And planets?
-I can be Mars, and he Uranus.

I won’t be Uranus, so forget it.

-What’s the matter with Uranus?
-I don’t like the rhyme.

-It’ll be cities. Cities.
-So cities it is.

Okay.

"That’s why I ended up being Tokyo.

The one looking at my arse is Mr Berlin.

Under arrest warrant.

robberies.

Jewelleries, auction houses
and security vans.

His biggest job,
the Champs Elysees, in Paris.

diamonds.

He’s like a shark in a swimming pool.

You can swim with him,
but you’re never calm.

And he was the boss
in charge of the as*ault."

"The one who coughs is Mr Moscow.

The first thing he dug was a mine,
in Asturias.

MOSCOW

Then he understood
that digging upwards he’d go further.

Six fur shops, three clock shops
and the Caja Rural in Avilés.

He uses the thermal lance
and any industrial equipment.

The one sitting
behind Moscow is Denver, his son.

dr*gs, teeth, broken ribs.

He’s the king of fights in discos.

Pure hot blood.

In a perfect plan, a time b*mb.

Rio. He’s my weakness.

He’s like Mozart, but with computers.

He programmes since he was six and knows
everything about alarms and electronics.

For the rest of things in life
it’s as if he had been born yesterday.

And those are the Siamese twins,
Helsinki and Oslo.

Even the most sophisticated plan
needs soldiers

and who better than two Serbs.

Maybe they think,
but, frankly, we’ll never know.

Nairobi,

a hardened optimist.

She has forged banknotes since she was .

And now she’s our quality manager.

She might be crazy,
but she’s really funny."

Think that every day
they’ll talk about us in the news,

every family in the country
will be wondering

what we’re doing.

And you know what they’ll think?

They’ll think: "Bastards!
I wish I had come up with that idea."

"The Professor,
no criminal record, no register.

The last time he renewed his ID he was .

To all intents, a ghost,
but a very smart ghost."

We’re not stealing... anybody’s money,

because they’ll even think we’re nice.

And that is vital.

It’s vital we have the public opinion
on our side.

We’re going to be the f*cking heroes
of all those people.

But very careful,
because the moment there is

a single drop of blood,
this is very important,

if there’s a single victim,

we’ll stop being Robin Hoods
and we’ll simply become sons of a bitch.

Professor.

Miss Tokyo.

What are we robbing?

The Fábrica Nacional de Moneda y Timbre.

DAY OF THE ROBBERY
FRIDAY : A.M.

Who chose the mask?

-What’s up with the mask?
-It’s not scary.

In bank robbery films the masks are scary.

They’re zombies, skeletons,
the death, I don’t know, you feel...

With a g*n in your hand

I assure you a madman
is scarier than a skeleton.

-Stop it.
-Who was this guy with the moustache?

Dalí, son, a Spanish painter.
He was very good.

-A painter.
-Yes.

-A painter of paintings.
-Yes.

Do you know what’s f*cking scary?
Dolls for children.

They’re really scary.

What dolls?

Goofy, Pluto, Mickey Mouse, all those.

A mouse with ears is scarier,
that’s what you’re saying?

Yes, arsehole.
Do you want me to wallop you?

-Hey!
-I’m right. Listen to me.

If a guy at gunpoint
and wearing a Mickey Mouse mask

gets in a place,
the people will think he’s nuts,

there’s going to be a m*ssacre.
Do you know why?

Because g*ns and children

are two things
you never put together, daddy.

-Am I right or not?
-That way it’d be more dangerous,

more twisted.

So a Jesus Christ mask
would frighten more, he’s more innocent.

They say "It doesn’t suit you,
it’s like Christ with two g*ns."

-"Like a saint with two g*ns."
-It doesn’t matter.

"It was obvious
there was a lack of women in the g*ng."

"A woman can spend two days
choosing shoes for a wedding,

but she’d never use a single minute
to choose masks for a robbery.

Everything we had planned was starting now

and during those fractions of a second
I thought about all the innocent people

whose lives we would stop
in their tracks."

E- LOCAL ROAD

"The Professor knew
there was just one way to come

in the Fábrica de Moneda y Timbre
with three tonnes

of expl*sive devices.
It had to be done in the lorry

that entered the building every week

with the new paper money rolls
ready to be printed.

And that was what we were going to do,

getting to the very core,
escorted by the National Police.

In Spain, anything guarded
by two police cars

is something heavily protected."

"But if you inhibit any possibility

for their communication
through the radio or telephone

and if you point two -year-old kids
with five as*ault r*fles at their heads,

it doesn’t matter if they have g*ns,

and they feel just like it’d happen
to any of us."

I said get out of the f*cking car!

-"They’re scared shitless."
-You’ll do as I say!

"Courage and heroism have a price,

and it’s greater
than the , euros a month

-a kid with a uniform gets..."
-Open the lorry, do you hear me?

"...or a lorry driver."

Come on, damn it, open!

"If those men had had their daughter
on the back of the lorry,

they’d never have opened it,
but who cares about

some paper money rolls with a watermark?"

Hurry up, hurry up!

Jeez, man! Come on!

Come on, come on!

Sit down. Now calm down, the three of you,
otherwise, a blow with the r*fle.

You’ll drive with a g*n in your kidneys.

When you get the radio call
to know if everything’s all right,

you’ll answer coolly,
as if everything ran smoothly.

Am I clear?

"And in the middle of that chaos with g*ns

I remembered the night before
I had been asked for my hand in marriage

and that I’d have preferred other plans.

But if you think about it,
you never find a good day for a robbery."

Now you know what you have to do.

Don’t take your eyes off the girl.

There can’t be any mistakes, all right?

She’s .

I think I can handle her.

Can I sit by your side?

Sure.

Hello.

Hello.

Do you want to go out with me?

Okay. I’m leaving.

No, no.

I don’t have to think about it.

I mean, yes.

"Okay, children, we’ve arrived.

Let’s go straight
to the museum’s hall, where...

Pedro, please, don’t behave like in class.

Let’s go out in an orderly way,
using both doors..."

And this is the façade
of the Fábrica de Moneda y Timbre.

The little lamb is coming in.

Perfect.

Berlin, your turn.

And now, be careful what you do.

How are you, Javi? Where’s Rafita?

Shift change.

Very well. Keep calm.

Okay, children, get in.

Slowly.

This is important.
As soon as we get the accreditations...

Keep you accreditations
hanging from your neck.

They must be visible
during the whole visit, okay?

Don’t turn around.

When you’re next to me,
I can’t even breathe.

Well, breathe,

because in nine months
you will really be out of breath.

Go ahead.

Well visible during the whole visit,
children.

The accreditation in your neck.
Lower your voice.

Berlin, the first camera, on your left.

Aren’t you going to say anything?

I tell you I’m pregnant,
and you just keep calm?

What shall I do, call my wife,
tell her to pick up the children

and we all go to celebrate?
For God’s sake!

Go on, go on. Come on.

ACCESS TO SECURITY SYSTEM

Coming in.

Be alert, Tokyo.

ACCESS TO ALARM SYSTEM

Great!

-"Alarms disengaged."
-Now.

Go ahead, come on.

It was you who said yesterday
you’re in a bad situation,

-you can’t stand her, you have problems.
-Problems just like any couple, Mónica,

like any other married couple
with three children,

not that I want to get divorced.

Mónica, I’ve had three children,
all of them with in vitro fertilisation.

I’ve been having sterile intercourses
with my wife for over years

and now you tell me this.

You must be Shiva,
the goddess of fertility.

What are you insinuating?

I didn’t come here
looking for a pension, you know?

Or for a divorce,

and much less for a paternity test.

I thought you loved me.

And...

And I think it’s a nice idea.

Hard to make it fit in our lives, but...

but a wonderful idea.

Listen!

What? Do you want to know
what I’m going to do with your child?

-That’s what you want, right?
-Listen to me, don’t rush.

Don’t move!

Freeze.

Don’t move! Don’t move or I’ll k*ll you!

-What’s the matter? Do something!
-Stand up! Stand up!

Get out!

"Come on, come on!"

Hurry up! Don’t move!

Come on, come on!

Come on!

Yes, yes!

f*ck!

Come on, come on.

This way. Come on.

And this wonderful staircase,
made of marble and granite...

Don’t move!

Don’t move!

Don’t move! Come on!

Get back!

-Please, don’t!
-Professor, we have a problem.

I can’t see the little lamb.

I can’t f*cking see her!

Miss Parker, where have you gone?

Wait.

-Please!
-Let’s go! That way!

Stop. Stop.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

I’m going too fast. I know.

Let’s immortalize this, right?

Let’s take a picture with your phone.

Wait...

Jesus...

Here? It’s a bit seedy, right?

It’s our first day.

You look so pretty.

I can’t find the girl.
I can’t f*cking see her.

Open here. Open and look a bit sexy.

It’s your phone.
If you want, you can erase it.

This is for both of us, for you and me.

Come on, come on.

With this photo
you’ll be all the rage on the Internet.

Give me my phone! I said give it to me!

Give me my phone! Give it to me!

Give me the f*cking phone!
Give me the phone!

Give me the phone!

Give me the phone!

First of all...

Good morning.

I’m the person who’s in charge.

And, first of all, I want...

to offer my apologies.

Truly, this is not the way
to end the week.

Phone.

But you’re here as hostages.

Phone.

If you obey,
I guarantee you’ll be left alive.

-Name.
-Alison Parker.

-PIN.
- .

Phone.

Calm down, calm down.

Calm down.

PIN.

Why do you need the PIN?

Either you tell me the f*cking PIN
or I’ll blow you with my r*fle butt.

How long are you pregnant for?

Eight months.

Eight months.

-PIN.
- .

You look so smart,

but you’ve got that shitty PIN.
What an arsehole. Your name.

-Arturo.
-Arturo what?

-Arturo Román.
-Arturo Román, very well. Arturito.

You’re our safe-conduct here,
so I’m going to protect you.

Hey...

Give me your hands. Let go.

Let go. Let go.

What’s your name?

Ariadna.

Ariadna.

Come with me. Come.

Calm down.

Feel my hands.

-Are they the hands of a monster?
-No, no.

Because I’m not a monster.

I know perfectly how you feel.

The dry mouth, the shortness of breath....
You have to try to calm down. Breathe in.

Breathe in.

Breathe in.

That’s it.
Please, breathe with me, all of you.

Breathe in.

Easy, easy.

Make yourself responsible
for your breathing. Breathe out.

Very well. Very well.

Miss Mónica Gaztambide, please?

Don’t move. Please, don’t move.

-Be quiet.
-I said don’t move.

Be quiet.

Miss Mónica Gaztambide,

would you be so kind as to step forward?

It’s me.

You’re a star, dad!

You’re the best!

You can sleep very well here, dad.

You can sleep grandly here.

Oh! Dad, dad!

f*cking. Here, boom!

Boom, boom...

Come on, stop fooling around
and let’s get to work. Come on, jeez.

This smells f*cking great.

It smells better than roast lamb,
dad, that roast lamb.

-Lay down here, jeez.
-Come on, Jesus!

When have you had such a bed?
You didn’t have it in jail.

Have you seen where we are, dad?
We’re the best.

-We’re the best.
-Boy, don’t get this wrong.

We’re very small.

Can you do anything?

Have you ever had a job?

Have you ever left you CV anywhere?

Ah. Come on, jeez.

My CV.

My CV, what for?

To take you out of Alcalá-Meco?

Do you think I feel proud of that?

years of my life
coming in and out of prison.

And you know why?

Why?

Because I’m not very smart, son.

And neither are you.

But the brains of this job
is another person.

And if we’re lucky
and you don’t act like an arsehole,

you’ll leave this place
with your life settled.

-I’m not acting like an arsehole.
-Come on, jeez!

Fill them.

I want you to answer the phone

and convince whoever it is
that we are closed

-due to a technical problem. Understood?
-Yes.

I have no choice
but to point at you with a g*n.

-Can you feel it?
-Yes.

Good.

Now.

Fábrica Nacional
de Moneda y Timbre, tell me.

No, I’m sorry, I can’t put you
through Arturo right now.

The system is down.

No, I can’t bring him up here.

No, he can’t come here
to pick up the phone.

No, it can’t be.

No, because...

Just because,
I don’t know where he is right now,

I don’t know if he’s in the factory,
in the museum, in the canteen

or wherever he is!
And besides, that’s not my job, miss!

That was a performance worthy of an Oscar,
miss Gaztambide.

" minutes after coming in,
we started to wire

the analogue communication system
to talk to the Professor.

Without phones or radio frequency,
with nobody being able to hear us.

We had sealed the doors
and the alarms hadn’t set off.

We were like in a time limbo,
with nobody knowing

we had taken over
the Fábrica de Moneda y Timbre.

And in that sweet peace, before the storm,

it just seemed

an ordinary day."

You look handsome, right?

Who is it?

It’s me, let me in.

Rio, man. If the Professor sees us,
he’ll k*ll us, don’t you know?

I know, I know.
I have to talk to you. Sit down.

-What’s up?
-Sit down, jeez.

What’s up?

Tomorrow’s the robbery.

And we have no f*cking idea
what is going to happen.

That’s why I want you to know
I’m serious with you

and I understand perfectly that, well,
that you’re not a child any more and...

and you may be looking for...
a more serious commitment.

That’s why I want to give you something.

I didn’t buy you a ring
because we’re locked up here,

but as soon as I go out
I’ll buy you such a big gem

you’ll need to carry your hand
in a f*cking wheelbarrow.

What’s this?

An engagement badge?

Now at least you’ll know my real name.

Right, but we’re not allowed
to know each other’s names.

Well, don’t look at it.

But it’s yours.

How should I tell you this?

Our affair has been very well, okay?
Great.

We have slept together some evenings...

What do you mean, some?
Jeez, all of them. But four or five...

Sincerely, I don’t think
we’re the perfect couple.

-Don’t we f*ck well?
-Yes, we do f*ck well, wonderfully.

That’s a start, right?

But you need something more
than f*cking well to be a couple, right?

Are you saying that because
I’m years younger than you?

I’m going to have
million euros, right?

I’m not a child, my life is settled.

-Really, Rio, I wish we had...
-What do you mean with "had"?

There was love. There was, I was there.

There’s another man, right?

Not anymore.

Look, Rio,

when all this is over,
maybe you and I will go to Tahiti

and see if this works, but tomorrow
I only want to think about one thing:

not to get k*lled.

Rio.

Rio, don’t.

No, no.

You left a phone on.

Well, turn it off.

The vault is open.

Put on your vests and get ready to go out.

As soon as you’re ready,
we’ll activate the alarm.

Berlin, ready to open the doors.

Hostages, for your security,
all of you three steps back!

A little more over here. Very well.

Okay. Everything’s going to be all right.

A little closer.

Calm down.

Calm down. I can see the bags.
They’re full of money.

Now they’ll leave and it’ll be all right.

"There’s a - at the Fábrica Nacional
de Moneda y Timbre.

Z on our way.
We’ll get there in two minutes."

Two minutes.

Two minutes.

-Why did the alarm go off?
-I don’t know.

They’re just standing there,
I don’t understand.

-Why don’t they take the money and leave?
-I don’t know!

One minute, seconds.

One minute...

What’s your name?

Arturo.

-Arturo, right?
-Yes. No, I haven’t seen anything!

I haven’t seen anything, I swear,
I haven’t seen anything!

-Look at me.
-I haven’t seen anything.

Come on, Arturo, look at me.

Look at me, look at me.

Hey, hey, come on.

Hey.

Do you like cinema?

Do you like it?

I’m... I’m a big fan.

Have you realised in horror films

there’s always someone at the beginning,
like this, a nice guy like you,

and you think: "That guy’s going to die",

-and then it happens?
-No...

He always dies.

Arturo, believe me, you’re that guy.

"Z to headquarters,
we’ll be there in seconds."

seconds.

seconds.

"It’s vital that the police"

don’t have the faintest idea
about what we’re doing.

We’ll make them believe
we came in for a robbery,

they caught us by surprise leaving with
the money and everything was f*cked up,

we took out the g*ns, sh*t point-blank
and we had no choice...

but to go back.

"And then, not having hurt"

anybody,

we get inside.

"Let them think we’re trapped like rats.

Let them think we’re improvising."

Now!

Tokyo! Tokyo, wait, it’s too soon!

Tokyo!

"Go out, throw the money,
sh*t at the ground and go back.

I’d heard that more than times.

But what the Professor didn’t tell us

is that they would
also sh**t point-blank."

Rio, Rio!

Holy sh*t, man!

Holy sh*t!

This couldn’t have started
f*cking worse, man!

f*ck!

"Urgent support. We need urgent support.

In the Fábrica de Moneda y Timbre.

We’ve got hostile g*nf*re. Officer down.
I repeat, officer down."

"An M b*llet is fired at , kph.

It flies faster than the speed of sound.

So if you’re sh*t in the heart,

you won’t even hear
the b*llet that has k*lled you.

That’s how I knew I had f*cked it all up,

in a millisecond

and the same way as usual."
Post Reply