02x12 - Elsewhere and Elsewhen

[bunniefuu]

[sighs] You and me both,
buddy.

I can't figure out
what I messed up

when I made
that ding-danged door.

[clinking on glass]

It is so nice
to be surrounded

by all of Lulu's
dearest friends.

Yeah!
All hail Lulu.

We're here to celebrate the new
assistant curator

of the Supernatural
Museum of History.

Here's to you,
Lulu!

[all] Cheers!

[chattering]

Hooty, did I miss the toast?

Yes, but not
"the app-pellet-tizers."

[squawking]

You want a...
There's an extra one.

I'm working on it.
[coughing]

No, no, no.
That's okay.

Uh, where's Lilith?

We want to
congratulate her!

[whooshing]

Oh, I wish
I could stay longer,

but I must be off
on my next adventure.

It's such a delight to see
my little bookworm

back in the historical world
after all these years.

Uh, thank you,
Flora.

But it's just
a small job.

Only an assistant.

I'm surprised you even heard
about this.

The emperor wanted
to make sure

you weren't getting
into any trouble.

And to clear out
your office.

I left a box
of your nicknacks inside.

Wish you took more
from my tutelage, dear.

History's supposed to be
exciting after all.

[squawks]

[whip cracks]

[shrieking]

Who was that?

Flora D'esplora,
bad-girl historian, celebrity,

and my former mentor
in the Emperor's Coven.

I have questions
about that name.

And I have questions
about my life!

All I ever got to do
was desk work

while she goofed off
riding wild snake horses and...

- [gasps] "Snorses."
- ...and eating mummy jerky!

Well, I can be just
as exciting as Flora.

I'll come up with an exhibit
that'll knock the Titan's socks off!

Congratulations on your new job!

[Philip] After careful analysis during
this Deadwardian Era,

I believe the current
human year is .

[sighs] Or is it ' ?

The years are flashing by,

but it will all be worth it.

I've gathered all the portal ingredients
including Titan's Blood.

All that's left is to seek out
The Collector.

And he will tell me what I need
to complete my mission.

But first, my companions
and I must face...

[film reels spinning]
[squeals]

The Collector.
I've never heard that name.

Me neither.

What kind of jerk puts "The"
in front of their name anyway?

But The Collector may know how to make
a real portal door.

He may know why mine is
so unstable. I just...

I messed up so bad
last time.

I need to do better.

Luz, I've got leg hair older than you.

This Philip guy worked on
his door for years.

Try not to b*at
yourself up too much.

Yeah. I just wish
I could go back in time and talk to him.

- Eda. Is time magic a thing?
- Not really, but...

Back in the day,

I was a bit of
an urban-legend junkie.

[gasps] Twig Foot, Lender Man,
possums...

Those are real.

[snorts] Yeah.
Sure, kid.

Anyway,
there are stories about these things

called time pools.

Mythical puddles that act
as windows into the past.

But they're never
in the same spot twice.

Me and Lily used to search
for them.

She'd say I forced her
into it,

but I think she had
more fun than me.

Lilith! Of course.

Thanks, Eda.

Lilith!
[gasps]

I see you're dealing with
all this. [chuckles]

I'm plotting out
my first exhibit for the museum.

It's almost as if
the emperor wanted Flora to tick me off.

Well, I'll show her that she's not the only
bad-girl historian in town.

I'm thinking the architectural history
behind Deadwardian balusters.

This won't work, will it?

Don't let Flora
get you down.

I even started calling you
"Cool Aunt Lilith" in my journal.

Uh, oh, really?

You can be a
bad-girl historian.

- And I know how.
- [Lilith] Oh, I remember these.

"In the Premysteric Era,
it's theorized that coagulated Titan Blood

mixed with the magical algae
of the Boiling Sea

created temporary holes
in time."

Time magic, baby.

You can make
an exciting exhibit on time pools,

and maybe I can get
information on how Philip made the portal door.

I did cobble together
a device to find these with Eda.

It should be in the box
Flora returned to me.

But it was faulty.

It needed more power than I could ever give it.
[gasps]

Stay right there.

[footsteps departing]
[clattering]

[crash]

[footsteps approaching]

[shoes squeak]
Would Titan Blood do the trick?

Let's do it.

[whirring]

Don't worry, Luz. We're getting closer.
I can feel it.

[grunts]

Ha! Exactly what I thought.
These are wrinkling oaks.

They don't look
very wrinkly.

That's because something's
keeping them locked in time.

So, accounting
for local plague patterns,

the quake in the ' s,

and the switch from boiling units
to the empirical system,

the time pool should be...

here!

[birds squawking]

But I triple-checked
all my calculations.

My equipment is first-rate.
[grunts]

Stupid rock.

[whoosh]

Maybe the Titan Blood
was too dry.

[whoosh]
[gasp] Is it not algae-blooming season?

[rumbling]

[snarling]

Was it my tools?

Are they broken?

[sniffling]
Am I broken?

[coughing]

Lilith!
You did it.

You found the time pools.

[gasps]
In your face!

[roars]

A stone sleeper
from the Hecktaceous period.

Did you know that they have
a ticklish spot behind their ears?

[whoosh]
Luz, are you listening?

Come on, time pools.
Mama needs to commune with the dead.

[inhales]

[knight] Tonight I shall revel so hard,
I shan't stand any longer!

I shall revel mineself
to death!

No wonder
no one's found these before.

They're
completely hidden from sight.

Stupid rock!

Wow.

It's a little Babysborough.

Yo! What era is it?

'Tis the Deadwardian Era.

What ye be doing
in the sand?

Be ye a crab maiden?

Philip's time!
[gurgling]

And, yes!
I am a crab maiden.

Lilith!
Luz, look.

These are the oldest barnacles
I've ever had on my head.

I found it.
I found Philip's time.

Ooh, incredible.

This will be
a truly unprecedented exploration.

Now, before we dive in,

we must remember
if the tide comes in we could be trapped,

paradoxes will be a danger,
and don't get me started on the bloody fly effect.

[gasps, clears throat]
But a bad-girl historian like myself is

all about taking risks,
so let's boogie down to History Town.

[scats, imitates laser f*ring]

She really is
Cool Aunt Lilith.

[knocking]

Hello, witchlet.

Hey, Ma.
Why are you still in town?

Forget something
from yesterday?

Your father wanted
to swing by.

Well, tell him
I'm busy.

Maybe you could
tell him yourself.

Uh, he's just outside.

[gasps]
I get to meet my grandpa?

Yes. You know
the Clawthorne clan was once known

for their
Palisman-making skills?

And Dell?
Whoo, he was the best of them all.

[King] Cool!

[footsteps approaching]

Now, Luz,
we are technically in the Savage Ages,

way before Belos banished
Wild Magic.

These denizens
may be dangerous!

[screams]

Good tidings,
kind witches.

[squawking]

[wood creaks]

[cooing]

This doesn't
look dangerous.

This looks awesome.

Why did Belos want to banish
Wild Magic again?

Well, the Titan
supposedly doesn't like it.

Oh, my gosh.

Look at this thatch work.
[gasps]

Each segment looped by hand.
[chuckles]

But I bet Flora
would scoff at it.

Excuse me.
Have you seen a human around?

Round ears. Super smart.

Honestly, he's probably
a celebrity around here.

Uh-uh.
[squeaks]

I don't know.

Mm-mmm.

Mmm. Nope.

[Red Fang] Dance, human!
Dance!

[laughing]

Give that back!

I can't believe this,

after the bonds
of fellowship we forged.

Bonds? Ha!
You still owe us.

[grunts]
When I accomplish my mission,

I promise you,
you'll have your snails.

Listen to this.

"With my new
and bravest companion, Blue Fang,

I set forth."
[laughs]

"His strength should make
fast work of any task."

His pretty little words
should make pretty good kindling.

[gasps]

That doesn't belong
to you.

Witchlet?

Aren't you going to say hello
to your father? It's been...

Years! Yep, been years.
I know.

I'm, uh, just sharpening
my tooth.

Don't want Pops to see me
looking all blech, you feel?

What's with you?

Why are you so terrified
of seeing your dad?

It's not like
I'm scared of him.

I just haven't seen him
since I ruined his...

I mean since the Owl Beast ruined his...
[groans]

I'm just not ready, okay?

Now move it.

I gotta scram.

[squawking]

[screams]

Hiya, Eda.

Your pops is such
a nice guy.

Say, how'd he get
that scar on his...

[groans]
[laughs] Hey, Eda. Look.

Dear sister,
join the Emperor's Coven

and together
we could become gods!

Hmm.

Don't waste your time
on the kid. We should keep looking.

[Red Fang] Ask your friend
there what happened

to our brother, Blue Fang,
and his Palisman.

[grunts]

[groans]

[Luz] So he's already gotten
to the Titan Blood.

- Who's that?
- [Philip] Hmph!

That's private.

You're Philip Wittebane,
aren't you? The human?

Here to gawk?

I may not have a bile sac,
but I do have dignity.

Wait!

I've heard of your exploits

and I know what it's like
to be far from home.

Could we talk?

No.

Wait!
I can give you snails.

I can make you crutches.
Um, uh...

I can help you find
The Collector!

[Philip]
So, Luzura,

you and your aunt, Dirtrude,
started traveling together

after the Toe-gres
att*cked your castle

and covered it
with an impenetrable mist?

Yes, and that's why we, too,
seek The Collector.

We need him to tell us
how to clear the mists

so we can return home.

Snap, snap, snap.

[bird squawking]

Now...

Anyone bring a torch?

Astounding!

I thought I was the only one
who used picto-glyphs.

You use glyphs too?

How else could I have
survived here?

Plant growth,
ice, fire...

Took years to find them.

Almost as if the world
wanted to hide them from me.

I even found one
in a snowflake.

My dude, me too.

A warrior and a scholar.
Truly impressive.

Ah! I can't believe
I taught Philip something new!

[squeals]

[magical humming]

Line there, curve there...

Fascinating.

Absolutely fascinating.

Your niece
is very talented.

I'm sure she
takes after her aunt.

Oh. [chuckles]
Maybe I had a little something to do with it.

Now, I know
a few tricks as well.

What is this?

A shortcut...

to The Collector.

Really, Eda?

You won't be able
to run away this time.

Apologies, dearest Mother.

Dearest sister has flown
the dearest coop.

But worry not, for I,

the perfect,
prissy little Lily,

shall find her for you.

Does she seriously think
I'm buying that?

Just let her have this.

[laughs]
Not today, suckers!

[gasps]

Am I too late again?

Well, fly safe, witchlet.

Perhaps I'll
catch you next time.

Hi, Dad.

[Luz gasps] Whoa.

Where are we?

[gasps]

[birds caw]

We're in the head
of the Titan!

W-We're what?

But this is
sacred ground.

I suppose that's why
no one wanted to accompany me.

But every legend told me
that The Collector lies there.

Behind that door.

I just can't figure out
the mechanism to open it.

If I weren't so frail.
[groans]

It's okay.
We can help.

Puzzles are in my blood.
Literally.

My mom had to stop me
from eating puzzles when I was a kid.

You stay here and rest up.

Thank you for your kindness,
crab maiden.

Perhaps we were destined
to meet.

This mechanism
is unlike any I've seen before.

It'll make
a remarkable addition to my exhibit.

It's just...

Come on. We can't stop now.

We're getting everything
we could have hoped for.

That's just it.
Look.

Most of this puzzle
has been solved already.

And Philip...

The confidence,
the compliments...

He says everything
you want to hear.

It feels
uncomfortably familiar.

Some of this
is pretty weird.

But it's
the Boiling Isles.

Everything's
a little weird, right?

Hey, why don't you
keep working on this

and I'll go
talk to Philip?

"I single-handedly
defeated the beast behind the door.

Tragically, I could not
save my companions."

Philip, why did you
bring us here?

[rumbling]

Ah! I did it!
I solved the puzzle!

- I needed a sacrifice.
- What'd he say?

[monster roars]
[screams]

Lilith!

Well, with
the beast distracted,

I can finally
get through those doors.

- You tricked us!
- It was...

Destiny? Balderdash.

[laughs]
I was going to say, "Inevitable."

You two were easier
to trick than Blue Fang.

Hopefully you
and Aunt Dirtrude can last longer.

[Lilith screams]

- [roars]
- Lilith!

[roaring]

[roars]

[growls]

Hey! That better be your
own grave you're digging!

[roars]

[metal clangs]

Found you.

I know you want to get home,

but nothing
is worth hurting people.

[screams]

[roars]

Oh, I disagree.

It was nice making
a cat's-paw out of you.

Good luck with your
crab castle or whatever.

You witches come up
with the worst lies.

[roars]

[panting]

Is this how it all ends
for Lilith Clawthorne?

Her body lost to time?

You were right about
that jerkweed.

I'm so sorry, Lilith.

Oh, your humility
before death truly heartens me.

Yeah, I should have
listened to you.

[gasps] Wait.
I did listen to you.

Uh... Luz!

[roars]

Eda's gonna k*ll me.
Eda's gonna k*ll me.

Eda's gonna k*ll me!

[thuds]

[purring]

It's one of those
Stone Sleepers from the Hecktaceous period!

It must have been
hibernating in here for ages.

Aw. Do you like that, boy?
[purrs]

Aw, you're good boy.
You were listening.

And so I doggedly limped home,

but I had my prize.

How to describe you?
Oval? Oblong?

A round boy?
[stomping]

[stomping]

[roaring]

[gasps]

Tell me how that thing's
gonna help you

build a portal
to the human realm.

Oh. No, I need this
for something else.

No? What do you mean "no"?

I mean,
if it's information you want,

perhaps we can
make an exchange.

I'll probably require
another sacrifice sooner or later.

If you or your aunt
want to...

[grunts]

You hateable sorcerers!

Stay mad.

Come, Luzura,
we're finished here.

Cool aunt.

You know, Luz,
if some jerk like Philip can build a portal,

- then I'm sure you can too.
- Thanks.

Hey, we have a little time
before the tide comes in.

You want to do
something exciting?

Balusters, Luz!
Deadwardian balusters!

Sorry, I, uh, haven't
been in touch.

There's been a lot going on.
[sighs]

You disappear from Bonesborough,
you're fixing up my old tower,

and then suddenly
I see you on a wanted poster.

And your mother tells me
about the petrification.

I wish you'd let us help.

But I do hear
I have a grandson now.

[chuckles] Yep,
King's a Clawthorne.

He can be a handful, but...

It's been over years,
witchlet.

I can't chase you anymore.

Then stop!
I've ruined your life.

Have you even been able
to carve a new Palisman since I att*cked you?

Stop trying to forgive me.
I don't deserve it.

Don't worry,
I'm not here to try that again.

What is that?

It's a palistrom seed.

My Palisman-making days
are over,

but I've been helping
the Bat Queen replenish her forests

so someone new
can learn the trade.

Did you come all the way
here just to brag?

Yes. But also to say,
let the past stay in the past, witchlet.

It's okay to move on.

And give Owlbert my regards.

Carving him with you
is one of my dearest memories.

We got lucky today,
Luz.

Next time those
time pools show up,

they could be
on the other side of the world.

Hey nerds! How was your nerd quest?
You find that dead nerd?

Layin' it on a little thick,
there, Eda.

But yeah, we found Philip.

Whoa, seriously?

- Yeah, he stunk.
- I punched him in the face.

Groovy, auntie.

Uh, you guys...
You guys need to stop that.

[groaning]

[grunts]

[grunts, pants]

Those barbarians.
Those... Those witches!

[echoes]

[groaning]

[breathing heavily]

[inhales]

[sighs]

It doesn't matter.

I just need to live long enough
to see this through.

[bell tolls]

And you're going to help me,
Collector.