01x03 - The Good Life Is Bad for Louise

[bunniefuu]

♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ To the east side ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe
apartment in the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ To the east side ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got
a piece of the pie ♪

♪ Fish don't fry
in the kitchen ♪

♪ Beans don't
burn on the grill ♪

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin' ♪

♪ Just to get up that hill ♪

♪ Now we're up in
the big leagues ♪

♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪

♪ As long as we live
it's you and me, baby ♪

♪ Ain't nothin'
wrong with that ♪

♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ To the east side ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe
apartment in the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ To the east side ♪
♪ movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got a
piece of the pie ♪♪

Oh! Whoever it
is, don't go away!

Oh, hi, mr. Bentley. Come in.

Mrs. Jefferson, I wonder if...

No. On second thought, I couldn't
ask you to do a thing like that.

Mr. Bentley, what is it? No, no. I
shouldn't even have come over.

Why not? Because I'm
being presumptuous.

I don't think we know
each other well enough...

To, uh... To what?

Especially with prices
being what they are today.

Come on, mr. Bentley.
You can ask me anything.

May I borrow a cup of sugar?

I've run out of sugar and I
haven't had my morning tea yet.

I can't stand tea without... I
know I shouldn't have asked you.

Oh, you can borrow
a cup of sugar. No.

I'd feel easier in asking
to borrow a cup of money.

Except it wouldn't be enough
to pay for the sugar, would it?

I'm afraid the world
is in a sweet mess.

Ain't that the truth.

The oil companies have
got us over a barrel,

And the sugar companies
are giving us our lumps.

Well, I think president ford
will straighten it all out...

As soon as somebody
tells him how.

Well, you work at the united nations.
Can't they do something about it?

Thank you. No, I'm just an interpreter.
I don't tell them what to do.

I just tell them what they said.

Why don't you visit for a while,

And I'll make us both some tea.

The water's on already.

I couldn't put you to all that
trouble. You must be very busy.

Busy? Oh, sure. I'll tell
you my plans for today.

First, I plan to sit in this
chair for a half an hour...

And look in that direction.

Then I'll move over to the
sofa and look in that direction.

Then comes the
high point of the day.

I'll do something exciting like
filling the salt-and-pepper shakers.

Making tea will spoil
my whole schedule.

But so what?
Let's live a little.

Thank you. But I
insist we use my sugar.

Good morning, lionel.
Oh, hi, mr. Bentley.

Bye, mom. You going
to class already?

Yeah. Look, hey, mom. Could
you do me a really big favor?

Sure, lionel.
Anything. Just name it.

Stay out of my room.

But I was gonna clean it today.

Yeah, but you cleaned it
yesterday and the day before that.

Let the cleaning woman do
it. I can't let her go in there.

You keep your
room in such a mess.

Yeah, but it's my mess. You dig?

You gotta dig if you wanna find
anything in that disaster area.

You don't understand. You think
that's a messy mess, but it's not.

That is an organized mess.

See, I know where everything is and
I love my mess because it's my mess.

If I didn't see it was you, I'd
swear I was talking to your father.

Thanks, ma. I'll see you later.
But can I fix you some breakfast?

That's okay. I'll get something
out of the school cafeteria.

The next time you
need some mothering,

Try getting that
from the cafeteria.

It's unreal how fast these
kids grow up and away from you.

Still, it must give you a
marvelous sense of fulfillment.

I hate it.

He doesn't need me anymore.

How is it? I can taste the bag.

Oh, but it's a very good bag.

Oh, well, everything is lousy.
Maybe because it's monday.

You can't blame it on monday
because, you see, actually it's tuesday.

Well, one day looks
just like the other to me.

Really? I always think of tuesday
as sort of a yellowy orange.

I used to think that money
would be the answer...

To all our
problems, but it ain't.

Whereas monday has always
seemed to me a sort of a bluish green.

Wait a minute. This is monday.

Good lord. I'm due at
the u.n. In 15 minutes.

The mideast crisis again.
Does it look like another w*r?

It could be. If I'm not
there in time to translate,

They won't know what
they're fighting about.

It was very nice to
see you. Good-bye.

He's weird. Even for an
englishman, he's weird.

I'm so glad you're home early,
george. What can I fix you for lunch?

Nothing. I came home early to
tell you I won't be home for lunch.

What? I got a business
lunch to go to.

A business lunch?
You didn't tell me.

I can't remember to tell
you everything, weezy.

You're never here long
enough to tell me anything.

Well, I'm telling
you now, ain't i?

Now is no good. I
wanna know then.

Now or then, what's the difference?
I'm still not coming home for lunch.

Lunch is not the point. I want you
to start thinking of me for a change.

I am thinking of you. That's why I
don't have time to tell you nothing.

Huh? I gotta keep
building the business.

I don't have any time to be hanging
around partying and carrying on.

You don't know what the
competition is like in the cleaning game.

It's like a jungle out there.
Well, hear this, tarzan.

It ain't so hot for jane
in the tree house neither.

What's the matter with you?

It's this new life of
ours. Great, ain't it?

Yeah, for you, lionel
and the cleaning woman.

Nobody needs me anymore.

I got no reason for getting
out of bed in the morning.

Sure you do. Being
mrs. George jefferson...

Is all the reason any woman
could want for getting out of bed.

A person could take
that two ways, george.

And I do.

Look, why don't I go down to the
cleaning store and work part-time?

'Cause I don't want you to
work. You've worked long enough.

You've earned the right to do what all
the other high-class new york ladies do.

Nothing.

I've tried that. There's
not enough nothing to do.

There's plenty to
do. Go to a museum.

Go shopping. Go to a theater.

That's not my bag. Then
buy yourself a new bag.

Look, there's no use sitting
around and complaining.

You just have to learn
how to waste your time.

Okay. I'll start by wasting some
time in the cleaning store downstairs.

No way. What are my
employers gonna think...

If they see my wife
working alongside them?

I don't care what they think. Well,
I'll do the caring for both of us.

And you ain't gonna work.
I have spoken. George...

Now, here's $20. I want you
to go to a matinee today.

But I don't wanna go.
You're going anyway.

You're gonna learn how to enjoy
life whether you like it or not.

You wouldn't believe this
show george sent me to.

My eyes must have been
popping out of my head.

There this man was up
on the stage, stark naked.

He wasn't like this.
He wasn't like this.

He wasn't even like
this. He was like this.

Sounds like a spectacular show.

Only if you like a whole
stage full of raw talent.

And the audience. Two
thousand women from new jersey,

All wearing hats
and talking at once.

The only time they
stopped was in the funeral

Scene when the
priest said a few words.

But if everybody was naked,
how did you know it was a priest?

Well, I knew it wasn't a nun.

What's this sudden interest
in the theater, louise?

Oh, it's all george's idea. He's
trying to turn me into something I ain't.

- You mean like my fair lady?
- I don't even think george...

Could manage that trick.

Oh, I'm sorry to keep
bringing my troubles to you,

But there's no one
else I can talk to.

And you two seem to be able to
handle your problems so well.

- What problems?
- Well, uh...

You know... You and helen.

Oh, the biggie. That's
not our problem.

It's other people's. They're
the ones who can't handle it.

Not even our own parents. Remember
when you first told your mother about us?

I never heard such
yelling and screaming.

That was my father. My mother
didn't say a word. Because she fainted.

Then there was
the disinheritance.

The folks cut us
off without a cent.

Oh, that's terrible. Were
your folks that mad, tom?

Not my folks. Hers.

The point is, if you feel you're right,
you've got to do things your own way.

Try telling george that.

That reminds me. May I
use your phone? Sure.

I wanna find out what time
he's coming home for dinner...

If he's coming home for dinner.

Good evening, mrs.
Willis. Mr. Wexler, come in.

I'm sorry I'm late with the
cleaning, but my wife is still sick,

And you know my business is
just a mom-and-pop operation.

And at my age, when there's no
mom, pop doesn't have enough pep.

- Why don't you hire some help?
- Help? The last help I hired
helped himself.

Twenty-eight dollars
from the cash register.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I wouldn't have cared so much,
but it was my own brother-in-law.

It isn't easy for me to
work with somebody.

I'm fussy. In my own family,
they call me the old lady.

Oh, mr. Wexler.

No, it's true. I'm not so comfortable
with people. With me, it takes time.

Oh, mr. Wexler, I'd like you to
meet my friend, mrs. Jefferson.

Her husband is
in... How do you do?

When I've got something
to do, I do it fine.

When I've got nothing
to do, I do it lousy.

- And it takes you longer.
- That's right.

Well, I'd better get back and
see if my store's still there.

- I hope you can
hire some help soon.
- I'll look around...

Till I find somebody
who's comfortable.

- Where is your store?
- Right around the corner
on lexington avenue.

Good-bye. Oh, mr. Wexler.

Would I feel comfortable?

You mean you'd
like to work for me?

I don't think you want to
work for mr. Wexler. Why not?

Don't you have experience
working in a store?

- Plenty of experience.
- Louise, I think
helen is right.

I'm only doing what
she told me to do.

"If you feel you're right, you've
got to do things your own way."

That's a nice philosophy,
mrs. Jefferson. I like it.

We're going to be very
comfortable together.

Here's my card. You can
start tomorrow, 9:00 sharp.

Okay. I'll be there. Fine.

I'll see you all soon. We
should live and be well.

You I'll see
tomorrow, regardless.

How about that?
I'm going to work.

Helen, you were right. You've
got to do what you've got to do.

- I think there's something
else you've gotta do.
- What?

Read that card.

"Wexler's cleaning and dyeing."

A cleaning store.

Holy george, I've
signed up with the enemy.

♪ I'm sittin' ♪

♪ On top of the world ♪

♪ Just singin' a song ♪

♪ Just rollin' along ♪

♪ I'm quittin' ♪

♪ The blues of the world ♪

♪♪

♪ Glory hallelujah ♪

♪ I've just phoned the parson ♪

♪ Hey, pa get ready to call ♪

♪ Just like humpty dumpty ♪

♪ I'm ready to fall ♪

♪ I'm sittin' ♪

♪ On top of the world ♪

♪ Just rollin' along ♪

♪ Just singin' a song ♪♪

Hey, great, ma. It's good
to hear you singing again.

It's good to feel like singing
again. Any special requests?

Do you know ham
and eggs? I'm hungry.

Do you mind getting
your own breakfast?

I've got to get a move
on. I don't wanna be late.

- Late for what?
- Oh, nothing. Just late.

Hold it. Where you been running
off to these past few days?

- It's a secret.
- Oh.

Well, this is the first time I've ever
kept a secret from your father...

And I'm enjoying
every minute of it.

That's nice.

- Well?
- Well, what?

- Aren't you gonna ask me
what my secret is?
- Uh-uh. A secret's a secret.

Well, what's good having a secret
if I can't tell somebody about it?

Okay, mom, you can tell me.
If you really want to. Well...

Oh, lionel, you're driving
me crazy. I'm dying to tell you.

- Okay, I'm listening.
- I've got a job.

- Hey, no kidding. Where?
- Now, this is the real
secret part of the secret.

I'm working at
wexler's cleaning store.

Wexler's cleaners?
Pop's competition?

- He's gonna be mad as hell.
- I know, lionel. I know.

That's why I wasn't
gonna take it at first.

But then I thought, I'm tired
of being cooped up here all day.

- And why shouldn't I work
if it makes me happy?
- Right.

We may be married, but
your father don't own me.

Right on. I'm my
own person, right?

Right. And whatever I
do in my own spare time...

Is my own business and
nobody else's, right? Right!

Right! I'm going to tell pop.

I'm just kidding.

Well, remember, it's our own
secret, and don't tell your father.

Well, what good's a secret
if you don't tell somebody?

I'm proud of you,
ma. Have a good day.

Okay. Take care, hon. Okay.

♪♪

♪ Show me the way ♪

♪ Show me show me the way ♪

♪ Show me the way ♪

♪ Show me show me the way... ♪♪

What did you say? It's great
music. What did you turn it off for?

You're sure in a good mood
lately. What's happening?

Nothing's happening. I'm
just enjoying life lately.

It is kind of nice
around here, ain't it?

Kind of nice? This is
it. The cream. The top.

And I finally got your mother
acting like a new woman.

- I got her eating out
of the palm of my hand.
- How did you do that?

Well, it's the old george
jefferson method of woman handling.

It took me years
to figure it out.

You wanna turn me
on to it, pop? Sure.

If you want a woman eating
out of the palm of your hand,

All you gotta do is give her
freedom, a swinging apartment...

And all the money she can spend.

Ah. But what if you
ain't got no money?

Then it comes a lot harder. Then you got
to give her a lot of love and affection.

I'm gonna go upstairs and
try out your system on jenny.

Jenny again? Don't worry.

I ain't gonna spend no money. I'm just
gonna try the love and affection part.

- Oh, that was quick.
- Well, I couldn't wait
to see you, grandma.

- I'll see you later.
- Mama! Hi. It's good to see you.

Thank you, george. You
always make me feel so welcome.

Where's louise? Didn't she go to
the theater with you this afternoon?

Don't talk to me
about that woman.

Now, now, mama,
louise is my wife.

That's not my fault.

What you so mad
about? She never showed.

I waited outside that
theater for three hours.

My feet are k*lling me. You
were standing for three hours?

Well, no. Lucky for me there was a
place to sit down near the theater.

Out on the sidewalk?
No. In a cocktail lounge.

I sat there and had
to force myself...

To drink four bloody marys...

Before I realized she
wasn't gonna show.

Well, if louise wasn't there,
there's got to be a good reason for it.

I'm sure there is.

She's probably out shopping and spending
money, doing things I told her to do.

- Mm.
- Look, ma, if you
got something to say,

Just say it and stop
b*ating around the bush.

George, sit.

You know me.

If I can't say something
nice about a person,

I don't say anything at all.

That's why I seldom
talk about louise.

But... But I know
what's coming next.

- You're gonna say
she's found another man.
- Well, I have been calling...

Every afternoon this week
and she hasn't been home once.

There you go again. You always
think everybody's out messin' around.

Well, if you live
among the white folks,

Some of their ways
are bound to rub off.

We've only been here
a couple of weeks.

You've been talking this
same talk for 25 years.

Now, george, you
know that isn't so.

You know it is so. Every time
we have a family get-together,

You always bring up
that same old tired story...

About old man kirby
cheating with cousin mildred.

That's not a
story. That's a fact.

Old man kirby couldn't wait to
get home to his wife every night.

And who would want to be
with cousin mildred anyway?

Well, after all, she may not be
the prettiest woman in the world...

But she sure as hell is the
ugliest. Now, listen, george.

Listen. That kind of language
may be all right for louise,

But not in front of your mother.

Okay, I'm sorry.

But all the years
we've been married,

Louise has never done
anything suspicious.

Till now.

Come on, ma. I know
louise. I trust her.

All right. Where is she?

Yeah.

Where is she?

Oh, hi, george. Hello,
mother jefferson.

Where you been, woman?
What's wrong with you?

- Answer my question!
- I don't know where she was,

But I know where she wasn't.

Mother jefferson, the theater.
I forgot. I owe you an apology.

Never mind her apology.
What about my explanation?

I've never been
able to explain you.

Louise, let's get right
down to the nitty-gritty.

I wanna know where you
been. Where have you been?

George, keep your
voice down. Why?

- So you can hear me!
- All I wanna hear from you
is where you been.

You ain't gonna hear nothing
because I'm through talking!

So am i!

I am so glad you're home. I've got
the most amusing anecdote to tell you.

Let me ask you a
question, bentley.

What do you think of a woman who
keeps secrets from her husband?

Well, speaking as a
bachelor, I'm all for it.

I've been wanting to ask
you, how's the new job?

- New job? What new job?
- Nothing. Nothing.

- What's this about a new job?
- Stop interrupting, george.

- Mr. Bentley
is telling us a story.
- Yes. It was at the u.n...

And I was translating
from the russian.

And the ambassador was describing
the arrival of the chinese delegation,

And he used the phrase...

Which, of course,
means "without a hitch."

Did you get a job
without asking me?

We'll talk about it later. As
you were saying, mr. Bentley?

Well, I thought he said...

Which I translated
"without a bitch."

I don't wanna talk about it
later. I wanna talk about it now.

All right, george, you wanna talk
about it now, we'll talk about it now.

I don't think they quite
got the point. Shh, shh.

I wanna hear what
they're saying.

Sorry. Perhaps it would
be clearer if I write it down.

All right, george, I
think you should know.

I'm working at
wexler's cleaning store.

Wexler's cleaning store? The guy
that's trying to run me out of business?

Well, I was going to tell you...

Wait. That might be the
smartest move you've ever made.

Do you know how to break zippers
and tear off buttons? George!

That's sabotage. No,
it ain't. That's business.

- Well, I'm not gonna do it.
- Oh, you'd rather s*ab me
in the back.

And it probably
isn't the first time.

You stay out of this.

I'm only trying to help.

You already did. You
helped us get in this big fight.

Well, now, I don't have to
stand here and be insulted.

You are so right. You can
go anywhere and be insulted!

I'm leaving!

Now see what you've done.

Good. 'Cause I've
had it up to here!

And I've had it up to here!

Now. There. Now, just read this.

Hello?

Weezy.

You couldn't sleep either, huh?

It was terrible
laying there like that.

Yeah, both of us
pretending to be sleep.

But you pretended better
than I did. You were snoring.

- You want some cocoa?
- Love some.

Louise... George, I'm sorry
I went behind your back.

But I felt so
unhappy and useless.

Look, I was the one
who was wrong.

Too bullheaded to
understand your problem.

If you wanna work
part-time, it's all right with me.

But not for the competition.
I can work at the store?

Sure. Oh, thank you, george.

The new one I'm
opening, up in the bronx.

The bronx?

You don't think I want these local
honkies seeing my wife working?

All the way up in the
bronx? Listen, george...

Now, don't spoil it,
louise. We just made up.

You only think we made up! Look,

We're gonna have peace and quiet
around here one way or another.

You listen to me,
george jefferson.

You're not sending me to the bronx!
You're the one who wants to work.

As long as you've got a store
downstairs, that's where I'm working!

Now, I'm gonna work downstairs
or else! And that's that!

Hey, pop, I see you've got her
eating out of your hand again.

How can you eat a sardine sandwich
3:00 in the morning, with onions?

Fighting makes me hungry.

There's another good
thing about fighting, though.

What? The part where
you kiss and make up.

Uh, but in this case,
suppose we just shake hands?

♪♪

♪♪

The jeffersons was recorded on
tape in front of a studio audience.