I'm begging you, Sire,
don't step into this room!
It's the Throne Room!
I'll be damned if
I can't go in there!
But Attila awaits you, Sire!
- Attila! The Scourge of God!
- Ah, sure, he's no Jack the Lad.
Jack the Lad?!
But... They say where
he goes, grass dies!
There's no grass in
the Throne Room. Come on.
I'll destroy everything here! Me!
Kaamelott, Kaamelott,
only a pile of rocks will remain!
Like this!
I want gold! All your gold!
Or we're at w*r!
(whispers) Do I go get the gold, Sire?
What?! All of Kaamelott's gold?
Are you kidding me?
When Attila asks for gold,
you give it to him!
This isn't the time
to be greedy.
Hang on, do you realize
how much money that is?
It doesn't matter! I don't want
to be impaled on a hilltop.
Hang on… Erm…
You pretend to negociate, calmly,
Meanwhile I pretend
to go pee, through there,
When I'm close to him, tac!
I'll draw my dagger and
open him up from the bottom.
You'd be skinned alive
before you could strike!
Let's throw the gold to him and get out
of here before he burns the place down!
No, no, no! Nobody leaves!
So?!
So, sorry, we can't pay.
(screams)
There's no use getting angry!
It's not that we don't want
to surrender, but...
If we hand over all our gold now...
Then our only choice
is to close shop.
And that's enough!
We fought to get it, we keep it.
Why are you arguing about gold!
Don't you see we're
close to annihilation!
I'll get you on your knees,
Arthur of Britain!
On my knees or not,
I'm not giving you my gold.
- Why not?!
- Because it's ours!
For one, yes, and also...
We're no opposed to it,
but we do have a system here!
On this site only, between
the castle and the farms,
there's at least fifty hundred minions!
You guys can't understand!
You spent your life on horses,
a campfire, a rabbit,
and off you go!
Us, sedentary people...
Well, it looks cool
because we live in stone…
But it costs money!
We're doomed…
He'll demolish Britain…
Half the gold,
or everything burns!
Half the gold?
That's unexpected!
Take the deal, Sire,
before he changes his mind!
Wait, I'm not unwilling, but...
Half the gold is still
pretty expensive!
It's not that I don't want
to meet you halfway,
if you get
my drift, but...
If we lose half our stocks now...
- Then we won't keep up afterwards.
- Why not?
Because we have costs! Try to remember!
Or we'd have to ask
Rome for support.
- But, Rome, these days…
- Not as luxurious as Byzance.
Byzance does have money!
But me, I don't know
those guys.
The women, then!
The women?
What's with the women?
Give us the women!
Well... Erm... (sighs) Let's see.
Depends which ones.
All the women!
No. All women, no.
(screams)
The food!
The food?
And what are we supposed to eat?
No. Food is a no.
The silverware!
No, same for silverware, no.
Household linen!
Household linen?
Come on! Sheets, towels,
all of these go to us!
Sire, we can't give
away my guests' linen!
Superb fabrics with marvelous
celtic patterns! Top quality!
No, household linen, we keep.
Something typical.
Something typical?
What do you
mean, "typical"?
Anything typical.
Or we break everything!
Typical, typical… Erm...
No, sorry, i can't think
of anything to give you...
(screams)
Yeah, alright, but...
That's typical?
Well, there's nothing more typical.
That's stag meat
cooked up with honey...
Typical Breton dish.
Warm is better, but the kitchen is
busy making tonight's dinner.
They don't have time.
Victory ! (screams)
ATTILA: Forgive me, I'm making a mess.