Hey, Mom? Where's Pop?
I wanna say good night to him.
He's not home yet, Eddie.
He's working late at the parlor.
Why can't he get home on time
like other guys' fathers?
Now Eddie, you have to understand.
In his business, a lot of things
won't keep till tomorrow.
Good night.
Good night.
It's a shame Uncle Herman
has to work this hard.
They certainly take advantage of him
down there.
Well, that's because
he's so conscientious
and faithful and loyal and...
What's that word?
- Stupid.
- He is not.
He sure is stupid.
He's a big lummox...
I don't see any reason
why you should talk like that
about Herman.
Grandpa, how can you say that
about Uncle Herman?
[Door Closes]
- Hi.
- [Lunch Box Thuds On Table]
Why don't you
go on talking?
Why did you...
Why did you stop talking
when I came in?
[Stammering]
Never mind, Herman.
Well, when I come into a room,
and everybody suddenly
stops talking, it irks me.
It even makes me madder than
when you start spelling out stuff.
We were just all upset
about you working so hard.
Yes, dear,
and for such a low salary.
Do you know what
you're going to do
first thing tomorrow morning?
Why, of course I do.
I'm gonna wake up.
[Laughs]
You are going to wake up,
and you're going to march straight
into your boss, Mr. Gateman's office,
and demand a raise in pay.
Lily's right, Herman.
Down at the parlor,
why should you take things lying down?
Well, gee, I don't know.
[Clicks Tongue]
I mean, I can't impose
on Mr. Gateman.
He's been so kind to me.
He sent me that get-well card
when I was hit by
that diesel locomotive.
At Christmastime, he sent me
that big basket of rotten fruit
from California.
It was so thoughtful of him;
I ate it all.
Now listen, Herman.
You're going to look Mr. Gateman
straight in the eye.
You're going to pound on his desk,
and you're going to ask for
a raise in pay.
You're gonna be
a regular tiger!
Well, all right,
if you say so, dear.
I'll be a tiger.
[Growls Weakly]
[Growls Loudly]
[Wind Whistling]
[Door Creaks]
[Screams]
Grandpa,
don't scare a fella like that!
Never mind that. What are you doing
sneaking home in the middle of the day?
I was just hiding outside
till Lily left the house.
What happened with
Mr. Gateman?
I did just like Lily said.
I marched into his office.
I pounded on his desk,
looked him straight in the eye,
told him what a faithful employee
I'd been and demanded a raise.
And, Grandpa, guess what?
He fired you.
How did you guess?
'Cause I know my son-in-law.
You're a hard-luck guy.
If you found the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow,
there'd be a tax collector
sitting on the lid.
What am I gonna tell Lily?
She's been counting on a raise,
and if she finds out I've been fired,
she might get mad at me
and stamp on the floor...
and say mean things to me
and shake her finger at me.
She might even break
my Huckleberry Hound records.
Now listen, Herman, you're a grown man,
and you're going to handle this
in an adult manner.
You're gonna do what every
red-blooded American husband does
in a case like this.
Don't tell your wife a thing.
Well, Herman,
all through dinner
you haven't said a word about
what happened at the parlor today.
[Clears Throat]
Oh, uh, we were quite busy.
In fact,
we had a quite a turnover.
[Chuckles]
I mean about your interview
with Mr. Gateman.
Oh, that.
We're so anxious, Uncle Herman.
Did he talk to you?
Oh, yes,
he, uh, talked to me.
Well, is he going to
give you a raise or isn't he?
Well, you see, dear,
Mr. Gateman is a rather busy man.
I think he wants to take the idea
and sort of, uh, throw it down the well.
- Throw it down the well?
- You know, throw it down the well
and see if anyone salutes it.
What kind of double-talk is that?
Well, you know, Lily,
he wants to take the idea
and run it up the flagpole...
and see if it makes a splash.
All businessmen have expressions
like that to keep outsiders
from finding out...
that they really don't know
what they're talking about.
Well, I think Mr. Gateman
is giving you the runaround.
He may want to think it over,
but I want an answer
by the end of the week.
Well, I think you'll have an answer
by the end of the week...
if not sooner.
Marilyn, Eddie,
come and help me
take out the dishes.
Whew! Boy, Herman,
that was close.
But at least you've got
till the end of the week.
I'll tell you what, Grandpa.
I figure I'll leave the house
every day as if
I was going to the parlor...
and not break the news to Lily
until I get a new job.
Oh, I see.
You wanna keep the news from her
as long as you can.
Right. As we say in business,
let's not start scratching till
we know where the fleas are biting.
[Both Laughing]
[Wind Whistling]
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Man Screaming]
Well, here I go.
Off to bring home the bacon.
[Chuckles]
Of course,
I've always been a hog for work.
[Laughing]
Herman, it's been a week since
you spoke to Mr. Gateman.
Do you think I'll have
a little surprise tonight
when I open your pay envelope?
Oh, yes, I think you'll have
quite a surprise.
Oh, I just know
it's going to be
a real nice, big raise.
Well, Mr. Gateman
should appreciate
all the hard work you've done.
After all, anyone with his experience
and all his years in the business...
should recognize a live one
when he sees one.
Well, yes, dear.
Uh, good-bye.
I'll see you later tonight.
[Door Creaks Open, Closes]
[Exhales]
Well, Marilyn, we could certainly use
a little extra money around here.
For one thing,
Eddie needs a new cover
for his bed.
The old one is getting so warped,
he can hardly close it at bedtime.
Hey, Mom.! Mom.!
Pop went off to work
without his lunch box.
Oh, dear.
Well, thank you, Eddie.
Now go back to the kitchen
and finish your breakfast.
Would you like me
to drop it off
on my way to class?
No, Marilyn.
I'll just call the parlor,
leave a message for Herman
with Mr. Gateman.
Oh, uh, Uncle Herman
could eat in a restaurant today.
He says there's one around the corner
that usually empties out
whenever he gets there.
Hello.
Gateman, Goodbury and Graves?
This is Mrs. Herman Munster.
I'd like to leave a message
for my husband.
You see, he...
He what? When?
Are you sure? Well...
I see. Well, thank you very much.
Aunt Lily, what happened?
All the color's rushed
into your face.
What happened? Herman's going
to work every morning
this week has been a fraud.
The big goofball
got fired last Monday.
What I want to know is
what's Herman been doing
this past week...
after he left the house
every morning?
He's been out looking for work.
He's had five jobs in five days.
You can't ask for
a better record than that.
He's a perfect failure.
I'm sure, Mr. Tom Fong, sir,
if you'd consider hiring me,
I'd live up to all your expectations.
I advertised "Boy Wanted."
You sure number one
big boy all right.
Thank you.
Tell me, you ever work
in laundry before?
No. I, uh, I never have.
I thought maybe
you got caught in mangle.
Hey, I betcha I know what happened,
you rascal. You have fight over girl,
and boyfriend make you
chop, chop, chop on the kisser.
I don't think so.
Uh, I mean, if anyone had gone
chop-chop on my kisser,
I think I'd be
the first to know.
[Laughs]
[Laughs]
You know, I think
you're gonna be all right.
You come over here.
I go show you something,
learn you business upside down.
I go take you in the back room
and show you modus operandi.
"Modus operandi?"
Yeah. I "clue you in,"
Charlie. Watch yourself.
Oh, boy.
Come here now.
Now you see I got here
two machine.
That dryer,
that one over there a washer.
You take the dirty clothes,
you put in a washer.
When bell ring,
you take wet clothes
and you put in the dryer.
[Rings]
When this bell rings,
you take out dryer,
put in clean hamper,
get more dirty clothes,
put in washer.
You do same thing all the time,
back and forth, back and forth,
every time the bell ring.
You dig?
Uh, when bell ring on dryer,
put dry clothes in hamper.
That good.
When bell ring on washer,
put wet clothes in dryer.
Uh-huh.
Uh, then put more dirty clothes
in washer.
Boy, you very good.
Now come here.
I show you more.
When you get all clothes,
you bring over here and you iron.
Now, when you iron,
no goof off. You concentrate.
Don't worry,
I'll use my head.
Oh, I don't know.
I think more better use iron.
More flatter.
You keep on do that
till whole mess clean up.
You got it, Charlie?
Got it.
Now come here.
If you get in trouble...
any kind of trouble...
that emergency valve, you know?
And you turn emergency valve,
that shut off everything.
You got it, Charlie?
Gotcha.
Good. All right.
Oh, uh, excuse me,
Mr. Tom Fong, sir.
But aren't you
going to be here?
No, no. I go lunch now.
I go down the street
and get a enchilada.
Well, fine, but, uh,
what should I do
if a customer comes in?
Hide.
Grandpa? Grandpa?
What is it, Lily?
Where are you going?
Out. I'm just not gonna stand by
and see my poor Herman...
buffeted and submerged
by the cruel waves of misfortune.
"Waves?" What happened?
Did the bum get a job as a lifeguard?
No. He doesn't have any job.
And as his wife,
I'm going to do something about it.
What can you do?
I can do what women
have done for centuries.
"Women have done for centuries?"
I get it. She's going to butt in
and ruin his life.
♪ This is the way
we wash our clothes♪
♪ Wash our clothes
Wash our clothes♪
♪ This is the way we wash our clothes
so early in the morning♪♪
- [Ringing]
- The bell.
Uh, when bell rings on dryer,
put dry clothes in hamper.
- [Rings]
- Bell. But, l...
Oh. Uh, when bell rings on washer,
put wet clothes in dryer.
Now, put more dirty clothes
in washer.
There. That was easy.
Herman, you got it made.
- [Rings]
- The bell?
Boy, that was quick.
[Bell Ringing]
- [Buzzer Rings]
- [Rings]
- [Ringing]
- [Ringing]
[Bell Ringing]
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Ringing Continues]
[Ringing Continues]
[Ringing]
[Clattering]
[Hissing]
Sprinkler system?
[Frustrated Groan]
In other words, Mrs. Munster,
you're asking me to
reinstate your husband
in our employ?
Oh, yes, Mr. Gateman.
Think of it.
He's been here for years.
Why, your parlor has become
his home away from home.
Really, uh, I'm afraid
my mind is made up.
But you can't take
all this away from him.
Herman's always been so happy
among the flowers and the wreaths.
Surrounded by the restful strains
of the organ music,
doing the thing he loves best.
He was just saying to me
the other night,
"Lily," he said,
"that place really grabs me."
Well, that's quite a compliment.
But he demanded an increase in salary.
I'm afraid down here
we're not used to raising people.
♪ This is the way we quit the job
quit the job, quit the job♪
[Blows]
♪ This is the way we quit the job♪
[Sighs]
? So early in the morning??
[Bubbling]
Oh, Mr. Gateman.
You must give Herman back his job.
He thinks of you...
not only as just an employer,
but as a father.
I never told anyone
this before, but,
well, at home,
he often refers to you as
"Da-Da Gateman."
Really, Mrs. Munster?
Oh, I tell you...
I tell you, pussycat looks up to you...
the way Richard Chamberlain
looks up to Raymond Massey.
[Crying]
Mrs. Munster,
that's the nicest thing
that anybody ever said to me.
I'll take him back
and give him his raise.
[Crying]
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Please, go now.
I mustn't cry anymore.
There's a big affair
at the cemetery this afternoon...
I can't afford to show up dry.
Oh, thank you,
you dear, sweet, kind man.
Um, we won't tell Herman
that I talked to you, will we?
Oh, of course not,
Mrs. Munster.
It's no use, Grandpa.
I've lost six jobs
in the last five days.
I'm no good.
Even in the laundry business
I'm all washed up.
That's right, Herman.
Your next step
should be skid row.
But with PresidentJohnson
wiping out poverty, a bum like you
has got no place to go.
I shouldn't have been so cocky
when I asked for that raise.
Fate has dealt me
a deserving blow.
As has been said so many times,
"He who blows his own horn
only ends up with a fat lip."
After all, l...
[Ringing]
The bell! The bell!
I gotta get the clothes
out of the washer!
Will you take it easy?
It's only the telephone.
[Ringing]
[Ringing Continues]
Hello. Oh, hello,
Mr. Gateman.
Uh, sir, about the other day,
I'm very sorry. I had no intention of...
You want me to what?
Report for work in the morning?
You found you couldn't
get along without me?
Well, I'll tell you,
Gatey, old boy,
I've had a few other offers,
and I'd, uh, like time to consider
what's best for me in this situation.
Oh, boy. One minute
he's Little Orphan Annie,
the next minute he's Charles de Gaulle.
I can have my raise. Oh.
Well, I guess
under those circumstances,
I would be willing to resume
in your employ.
Mm-hmm. Thank you.
[Chuckles]
You're very kind.
[Laughing]
Oh, boy, Herman!
You got your job back
and the raise.
What did you expect?
Oh, you're home, dear.
Herman, I found out all about
your losing your job,
and I want you to know that
we're behind you a hundred percent.
Oh, yes, Uncle Herman.
We'll help you in any way we can.
Now, now, now.
That's not necessary.
It just so happens
Mr. Gateman has just called...
and has begged me to come back.
Herman, you don't mean
to tell me...
Of course, I insisted on the raise,
but I knew sooner
or later he'd come around.
Oh, Herman.
You're so forceful,
and you're such a marvelous husband
and father to your little brood.
You know, Herman,
we look up to you to guide us...
and protect us against
the trials and tribulations of life.
You have made... right here at home...
our own ponderosa.
Aw, shucks, girl.
Uh, on top of that,
I ain't never said
a discouraging word.