04x06 - Something Unpredictable, but in the End It's Right

[bunniefuu]

I mean, I can't believe I'm on
the road opening for Margaret Cho.

It's like a dream come true.

JOAQUIN'S MOTHER: We need to
talk about your sister, Jenna.

She sent me a postcard from
someplace called The Coterie.

JOAQUIN: This whole
time, I thought no one's

heard from her in eight years.

I think you're more upset
about your sister leaving

than you're letting on.

You should call your sister back.

MARIANA: How did you know
that my sister called?

Don't want to grow apart.

- I missed you.
- I missed you too.

And how's things with Angelica?

MALIKA: I'm falling for you.

Matt dumped me.

I needed to tell someone,

but please don't tell Dennis.

It was really hard to get
over you the first time.

SUMI: I'm still in love with you.

I just think maybe we're
better off as friends.

I'm sorry I had to bail on the doctor.

ISABELLA: It's okay.
Dennis went with me.

You're the one who wanted
to be part of this pregnancy,

and you're never even here!

If it wasn't for Dennis,
I would feel totally alone.

Why don't we get our own place?

So'd we live together?

Can we think about it?

I thought I might find you up here.

Hey, Dennis.

You... you got a boy.

Congratulations.

Congratulations to you too.

Um, thank you.

♪♪

♪ Now throw your hands up in the air ♪

[ALL CHEERING]

♪ And wave 'em around
like you just don't care ♪

♪ If you wanna party
let me hear you yell ♪

[ALL CHEERING]

♪ 'Cause we've got it goin' on again ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, eh ♪

I don't know if you're aware,

but Dennis' th birthday is coming up.

- ?
- Yes, I'm aware.

We should throw him a Coterie party.

Dennis isn't really into
celebrating his birthday.

Are you sure? I mean, I
think he would love it.

And I can take care of everything.

DAVIA: Hmm.

Actually, why don't you
and Davia do it together?

Oh! Wait, that... that's a great idea!

Okay, so I was thinking
it would be ' s theme

since that's when he was in high school.

And there should definitely be karaoke.

Oh, and it should
definitely be a surprise.

Okay, look, I think I know
Dennis better than anyone,

and the only thing he hates
more than surprises is karaoke.

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Rock your body ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Everybody rock your body right ♪

♪ Backstreet's back, all right ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa ♪
♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa ♪
♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa ♪

♪ Then we'll find our peace of mind ♪

♪ You and me, Bel Ami ♪

♪ Pa-pa-pa, pa-paaa ♪

Okay, everyone! Dennis is on his way.

He'll be here in a few minutes.

What, is she supposed
to be a Playboy bunny?

Were they even from the ' s?

She's a fem-bot from "Austin Powers."

Fem-bot. Makes sense. And you?

[IMITATING BRAD PITT]:
"First rule of fight club,

don't talk about fight club."

Aw, I used to love Brad Pitt

until he cheated on Jennifer Aniston.

Oh. And, uh, you are?

Ginger Spice?

Good guess. And you are...

[AS FORREST GUMP]: "Life is
like a box of chocolates."

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- Wow!
- What?

I just... I didn't realize
you had a sense of humor.

Oh.

I didn't realize that you
used to work for Evan Speck.

Was that him I saw leaving
your loft the other morning?

Hello.

Hey.

- Hi.
- Hmm.

- Who's that?
- Evan Speck.

- Mariana used to work under him.
- Hmm.

Sometimes on top of him.

You know, former boss,

former, but maybe still, lover.

What are you, the hall monitor?

I need a refill.

Cher. "Clueless."

[IMITATING TAI]: "You're
a virgin who can't drive."

Love it.

But who are you?

Be careful with those!

I'm Shelby Woo

from "The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo."

Asian characters were very
underrepresented in the ' s.

Mm. Still are.

So what's this I hear
about the two of you?

Oh! Yeah!

It's all true.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Oh, my God! Alice, you're back!

Uh, early!

Yep! Uh, Margaret had to cancel her tour

'cause she booked a movie.

You know, showbiz.

Oh, well, welcome home.

Um, I'll move out of
your loft right away.

Don't worry about it.

I mean, you can stay for as
long as you want actually,

because, um, I'm moving in with Sumi.

- Oh!
- We're back together.

So, Sumice. Ugh.

Alumi?

Nope. Not digging your ship names.

Not to mention, Sumi
cheated on you the last time

and broke your heart.

But though I've never
seen any evidence of this,

I guess people can change.

Mazel!

- Get in.
- No. No, no, no.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Both paramours in one
night. How'd that happen?

Mmm, how about Thursday night?

Mmm, probably working late.

- Again?
- Yeah.

Is this the new normal?

Lucia's got lots of notes on
my women's center proposal,

and it's important I get it right
before we take it to the floor.

But how about Friday?

I'm working.

How about Saturday night?

Ooh, um...

I have plans with Dyonte.

But... it's actually a
surprise party for Dennis.

So why don't you come too?

Won't Dyonte mind?

I don't think so. I'll invite Tanya.

Who's Tanya?

She's Dyonte's primary partner.

What's a primary partner mean?

She's like, you know,
his closest relationship.

The person he's most committed
to, usually long-term.

Sort of like his priority.

And you don't mind
not being his priority?

No. We're still new.
And it's less pressure.

Well, if Dyonte doesn't mind, I'll come.

Great!

So, um, are you in a
rush to get to work?

I got a little time.

Mm-hmm?

MALIKA: Busy schedules.

Only way to see them both this weekend.

DAVIA: Well, it's good they get along.

Angelica makes a hot Britney.

Girl, she makes everything hot.

Okay, I see you blushing!

Are things getting serious?

Maybe.

I'll be right back.

Look, I'm just sayin',
the princess of R&B

and rap's Hollywood crossover
king are a hard pair to b*at.

But Janet and Britney are straight fire.

I mean, I can get jiggy with it

and I can hit it one more time.

Oh!

Is Tanya coming?

What? What happened?

Didn't wanna bring it up
tonight but Tanya and I split up.

Dennis is coming! He's here.

- Everyone hide!
- Oh, where do we go?

Let's go! Let's go!

ALICE: Run, Forrest, run!

[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

Dennis, I'm not ordering for you.

Big boys speak for themselves.

If you want something to eat,

just go to the window
and order for yourself.

I'm too scared.

Hey, man.

Just had a hunch, but do you like pizza?

How would you like
to try my pizza toast?

Answer him.

Okay.

Excellent choice.

And I will have your
seasonal avocado toast.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You're going to love it. Tastes so good.

ISABELLA: What was that about?

Oh, just a kid struggling
to find his words.

I was like that at his age.

You? At a loss for words?

I used to struggle with social anxiety.

Well, looks like you got over that.

[SILENCE]

ALL: Surprise!

[ALL CHEERING]

[HEART b*ating RAPIDLY]

Oh, my God. This is amazing!

Aw, you don't hate
that we surprised you?

No. I love it.

MALIKA: We love you!

- DENNIS: Thank you.
- Happy birthday!

[ALL CHEERING]

SUMI: Let's get the party started!

♪♪

♪ I thought I saw a
man brought to life ♪

♪ He was warm, he came
around like he was dignified ♪

♪ He showed me what it was to cry ♪

♪ Well, you couldn't
be that man I adored ♪

♪ You don't seem to
know, seem to care ♪

♪ What your heart is for ♪

♪ But I don't know him any more... ♪

Hello.

Hi.

Sorry, it's, uh... early.

Um, can we talk?

Uh, sure. Um...

Uh, come in.

I like your slippers.

- Thanks!
- Are they new?

No. I... I just, um,

never... brought them to your place.

Uh, first off, I want to assure you

that I... I'm not going to say
anything to Jackie about you...

spying on Revitalize Beauty.

Thank you.

What's second?

- You're not gonna like it.
- Okay.

If I buy Revitalize from Jackie,

then you could merge
them with Bulk Beauty

and then be free from
your non-compete contract.

Thank you!

Um... but I... I can't let you do that.

And neither would the Fight Club girls.

I... I mean, they would never go for it.

Knowing that you might say that I, um...

I went to them first and they said yes.

They really want you back

even if it means, you know,
being back in business with me.

♪♪

♪ Nothing's fine, I'm torn ♪

♪ I'm all out of faith ♪

♪ This is how I feel ♪

♪ I'm cold and I am shamed
lying naked on the floor ♪

♪ Illusion never changed ♪

♪ Into something real ♪

♪ I'm wide awake ♪

♪ And I can see that
perfect sky is torn ♪

"Listen, I appreciate
this whole seduction scene

you've got going on here,

but let me give you a
tip: I'm a sure thing."

How does nobody know who I am?

"Pretty Woman." Julia Roberts. Hello!

Aah! It was on the tip of my tongue.

Big mistake. Huge!

And you are?

[IMITATING JEFF LEBOWSKI]:
"Relax, man. The Dude abides."

- That's "Big Lebowski."
- Yeah.

Nice gut.

It's all Isabella. She
picked out my costume.

You guys seem to be
getting really close.

She's been an incredible help.

I mean, with the food truck
and planning the party.

Both of you. Thank you.

Uh, sorry about the karaoke.
That was Isabella's idea.

What do you mean? I love it.

- So no Matt again?
- Uh, he's out of town.

Well...

speaking of karaoke...

- No. No.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- No!

♪ You pretend you're high ♪

Go, Davia!

♪ Pretend you're bored ♪

♪ Pretend you're anything ♪

♪ Just to be adored ♪

♪ And what you need ♪

♪ Is what you get ♪

♪ Don't believe in fear ♪

♪ Don't believe in faith ♪

♪ Don't believe in anything ♪

♪ That you can't break ♪

♪ Stupid girl ♪

♪ Stupid girl ♪

♪ All you had you wasted ♪

You're wasting your time
with this band of yours.

You're not going to be a rock star.

If you ever want to amount to anything,

you need to focus on your SATs,

get into a good college,

then get an MBA and go into business.

Hey, are you listening?

Yeah.

I'm listening.

♪ Don't believe in anything ♪

♪ That you can't waste ♪

♪ You stupid girl ♪

♪ You stupid girl ♪

♪ I can't believe you fake it... ♪

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

So how do you feel
about Dyonte and Tanya?

Uh, I'm a little thrown.

They seemed like such a solid couple.

Does this change
anything? Add any pressure?

Maybe he's gonna want more of your time?

Oh, no.

- I mean, I don't think so.
- Oh.

♪ You stupid girl ♪

♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪

♪ Let's talk about you and me ♪

♪ Let's talk about
all the good things ♪

♪ And the bad things that may be ♪

♪ Let's talk about sex ♪

♪ Let's talk about sex ♪

♪ Let's talk about sex ♪

♪ Let's talk about sex ♪

♪ Hey now, you're an all-star ♪

♪ Get your game on, go play ♪

♪ Hey now, you're a rock star ♪

♪ Get the show on, get paid ♪

♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪

♪ Only sh**ting stars break the mold ♪

♪ I know what's good for you ♪

♪ I know you're dying to ♪

♪ But you can't stop ♪

♪ The queerest of the q*eer ♪

♪ The strangest of the strange ♪

♪ The coldest of the cool ♪

♪ The lamest of the lame ♪

♪ From the bottom of my broken heart ♪

♪ There's just a thing or
two I'd like you to know ♪

ALICE: I'll just sleep on
the floor. You take the bed.

What? That's ridiculous.

We can sleep in the bed together.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Fine. Then I'll take the floor.

I'm not gonna kick you
out of your own bed.

Even if this is all your fault.

Wait, you coming home early is my fault?

You sublet my loft
without my permission.

Because you needed the money.

That's what some people
would call a favor.

Plus, this "back together"
act was your idea.

What choice do we have?

Since Isabella doesn't know

that Gael is paying for
her to stay in my loft,

the only way she wouldn't
insist on moving out

is if she thought I
wanted to live with you.

Which clearly you don't!

Look, I am the host, you are my guest.

I'm not gonna let you
sleep on the floor.

I wasn't raised that way.

I'll just sleep in that weird
little hallway place thingy.

It's called a vestibule!

ALICE: I know!

♪ From the bottom of my broken heart ♪

♪ You promised yourself... ♪

This is a great party.

Dennis is lovin' it.

Yeah, whatever.

Isabella was right.
She's his person now.

Whoa! Wait, why... why
are you saying that?

I feel like I don't
even know him anymore.

Well, maybe some of that is on you.

I mean, if you don't want
to keep him at arm's length,

why are you letting him still
think that you're seeing Matt?

So... you're back with Sumi?

Yes, I am.

We couldn't be happier.

I can see that.

Hey, I'm sorry about your
tour gettin' cut short.

It's fine. [CLEARS THROAT]

I'm fi... I'm fine. I'm fine.

[QUIETLY]: It's all fine.

♪ I am not trying to seduce you ♪

♪ When I dance they call me Macarena ♪

♪ And the boys they say que soy buena ♪

♪ They all want me ♪

♪ They can't have me ♪

♪ So they all come and dance beside me ♪

♪ Move with me, chant with me ♪

♪ And if you're good I'll
take you home with me ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena ♪

♪ Que tu cuerpo es pa'
darle alegria y cosa buena ♪

♪ Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena ♪

♪ Hey Macarena, ay ♪

♪ How bizarre ♪

♪ How bizarre, how bizarre ♪

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ It's making me crazy ♪

♪ It's making me crazy ♪

♪ Every time I look around ♪

♪ Every time I look around... ♪

♪ Don't tell my heart ♪

♪ My achy breaky heart ♪

♪ I just don't think he'd understand ♪

♪ And if you tell my heart ♪

♪ My achy breaky heart ♪

♪ He might blow up and k*ll this man ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Finally, you've come along ♪

♪ The way I feel about you ♪

♪ It just can't be wrong ♪

♪ If you only knew the
way I feel about you ♪

♪ I just can't describe it ♪

♪ Oh, no-no ♪

♪ I will buy you a garden ♪

♪ Where your flowers can bloom ♪

♪ I will buy you a new car ♪

♪ Perfect shiny and new ♪

♪ I will buy you that big house ♪

♪ Way up in the West Hills... ♪

WOMAN: We should travel Europe
for a year and see all we can

before settling down on the Westside.

Good schools, great houses.

MAN: Whatever makes you happy.

You think that I want to work
all the time and miss everything?

But who's gonna pay for this house,

and the cars, and the private school,

and the boxes that show
up here every single day?

- Look, I'm just saying...
- I know exactly what you're saying,

and I feel guilty enough as it is!

But you wanted this lifestyle.

I'm not doing this for me.
It's not like I'm happy.

♪ I will buy you that big house ♪

♪ Way up in the West Hills ♪

♪ I will buy you a new life ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[GLASS CLINKING]

I would like to say thank
you to Isabella and Davia

for planning this amazing party

and to all of you

for making this the
best birthday of my life.

ALL: Happy birthday.

ALL: Cheers.

DENNIS: Thank you. Thank you.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- I wish Callie was here.
- Yeah, how's D.C. treating her?

Great. I... I guess.

You know, we've both been so busy

that we haven't really
had a chance to chat.

Well, tell her she is dearly missed.

ALL: Yeah.

Will do.

Well, we have to cherish
these times, y'all,

'cause eventually we're
all going to move out

for new jobs or relationships.

Hey! Don't say that.

We probably won't have
another th birthday here.

[IMITATING JEFF LEBOWSKI]: Hey,
man. The dude does not abide.

Gael and I were actually
thinking about moving out.

- MALIKA: What?
- ALICE: When?

Wait. Together?

Yeah. Well, I mean, for
the first year or so.

You know, to make co-parenting easier.

- Oh.
- Oh.

I mean, The Coterie
isn't exactly baby-proof.

I mean, there is the pool.

I think it's a good idea.

Well, we can build a
fence around the pool.

And child gates.

Oh, and you can have my loft
if you want to live downstairs.

DENNIS: Also, for the first nine months

before the baby is walking,

you don't have to worry about all that.

I can say from experience

that having as many extra hands
around a newborn is a lifesaver.

Plus the more love, the better.

Hmm. That's a great point.

Actually, I mean,
there's no rush. Right?

And I kind of love the idea

of lots of aunties and
uncles being around.

Maybe we wait till the
baby gets a little older?

Yeah.

Well, as a future auntie,

I'd like to make a toast
to the birthday boy.

MALIKA: Okay!

ALICE: You're a wonderful friend,

a skilled chef with family dinners.

- Yes! We appreciate that.
- We love you.

- To Dennis.
- ALL: To Dennis!

Thank you. Thank you.

Hmm. If we're toasting,

uh, you just got this
bottle of champagne today.

I didn't have a chance
to read the card yet.

So... can I do that now, please?

Sure, weirdo, go ahead. Read my card.

Yup. Okay.

[CLEARS THROAT]

"Happy th birthday,
Dennis." That's you.

"And congratulations on your new baby.

With love, Jennifer."

Are you pregnant?

Hmm? No. No.

Um... Isabella and
I ran into my ex-wife,

her husband, and, uh, new baby

when we were at the
hospital the other day.

Why is she congratulating
you on a new baby?

Um... We were just looking at
babies in the maternity ward,

and she saw that I was pregnant,

and so she just assumed
that Dennis was the father.

No. I mean, I think it's a...

It's a fair assumption since, uh,

Dennis is taking you
to doctors' appointments

and deciding where we
should have the baby

and where we should
live. You know what?

In fact, why don't you guys

just tell me when the baby's coming

and where I should show up?

Gael.

Excuse me.

Gael?

Gael! Hey, what is going on with you?

What is going on with you?

Are you having the
baby with me or Dennis?

Because you seem way more interested

in everything that he has to say.

Dennis is our friend,
and he's done this before.

So, yes, his advice
means something to me.

You wish that Dennis was
the father of the baby?

- What?
- Because why?

Why are you guys looking at babies
together at the maternity ward?

Why didn't you correct his ex

when she just assumed
that he was the father?

I should have. I'm sorry.

It was just... It was...

It was a very awkward moment,

and I couldn't imagine
the pain he must have felt,

seeing his wife with a new baby boy.

Gael, I am very, very
clear on who the father is

and who I want to do this with.

But I'm scared.

What if I make a mistake
or I'm a terrible mom?

You won't be.

Isabella, I'm... I'm sorry.

I've just been feeling a little insecure

because we're not a couple.

What happens when you find
someone and you fall in love,

and then there's another
man in the baby's life?

What happens when you meet
someone and you fall in love

and our daughter has
a really cool step-mom?

Step-moms are all evil.

You gotta brush up on
your bedtime stories.

Okay. Um...

Let's just make a promise

that no matter who comes in our lives,

we will always put each other first

as the parents of our child.

Deal.

So...

does this mean the party's over?

Doubt it.

There's usually a blowup,
but we always get past it.

Hmm.

[SIGHS] Sorry.

Oh, no, it's okay.

Trust me, I'm used to
my fair share of drama.

It's not that.

Everyone here is like family to me.

It's just...

They're not your sister.

It's my first Coterie party without her.

I didn't think it
would hit me this hard.

Why don't you just call her?

Man, I would...

I would give anything to
talk to my sister again.

What do you mean?

She's, uh...

She's not in Oklahoma
with her husband and kids.

She left home eight years ago.

And I have...

I have no idea where she's at
or how to get in touch with her.

I've just learned that
there's some things

you shouldn't take for granted.

Sorry Gael ruined the party.

That was intense.

Isabella and I have spent
a lot of time together.

I might have overstepped.

Well, if anyone was overstepping,

I'd bet my money on Isabella.

Why do you say that?

She just tends to get
between people is all.

Like who?

Raj and Mariana.

You and me.

I planned this entire
party with Isabella,

and I fought her every bit of the way.

I was so sure that you'd
hate to be surprised.

And karaoke?

I... I guess I don't know you anymore.

- She's your person now.
- Come on.

Well, I do have a confession.

I hate surprises and
I do not like karaoke.

I have struggled through this evening,

and other than, well, the
lot of you and your kindness,

I find being the center of attention

truly exhausting.

Really?

I mean, I'm sorry you're miserable.

Are you?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Okay. Well, I have a confession too.

Matt and I are...

He dumped me.

Mm, what?

Well, I waited too long to
make up my mind, I guess.

He wanted someone who didn't take weeks

to figure out that they wanted him.

- I'm so sorry to hear that.
- Are you?

Just to clear something
up about being wanted.

I... I did want you.

It wasn't just need.

And I need to learn how to be happy

before I can make somebody else happy,

which is why I'm trying to enjoy tonight

despite the karaoke.

Fake it till you make it, right?

Yeah.

Old and wise.

And I'm still a work in progress, but...

I'm grateful that I'm not turning

as the man I was.

I'm glad to be turning as
the man that I am here today.

In The Coterie, with all of you.

Despite the occasional blow-up.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Well, whistle if you need any help.

I'm so sorry.

I wasn't even thinking about
how it must have been for you

to run into Jennifer with their baby.

- It's okay.
- No, no, it's not.

I mean, I was being insecure and petty.

I'm sorry if I overstepped.

I just want to be supportive
of you both, but mainly you.

You're my best friend.

And I'll always be here for you, buddy.

DAVIA: Paging the birthday
boy to the karaoke stage.

- Okay, well...
- That's you.

DAVIA: Come on, it would not be a party

without a Dennis and Davia duet.

- Yes!
- Make me beg.

[ALL CHEERING]

♪ I won't let you down ♪

♪ Will not give you up ♪

♪ Gotta have some faith in the sound ♪

♪ It's the one good
thing that I've got ♪

♪ I won't let you down ♪

♪ So please don't give me up ♪

♪ Because I would really, really love ♪

♪ To stick around ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Yeah, yeah. We came in below
projections again this quarter.

I'm running late. How much
longer is this going to take?

Stop. There are no excuses.

Hey, man.

Breathe.

- You're talking to me?
- Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Look. Nothing on that call

is as important as you think it is.

Believe me.

♪ I think there's
something you should know ♪

♪ I think it's time I told you so ♪

♪ There's something deep inside of me ♪

♪ There's someone else I've got to be ♪

♪ Take back your picture in the frame ♪

♪ Take back your singing in the rain ♪

♪ I just hope you understand ♪

♪ Sometimes the clothes
do not make the man ♪

♪ All we have to do now ♪

♪ Is take these lies ♪

♪ And make them true somehow ♪

♪ All we have to see ♪

♪ Is that I don't belong to you ♪

♪ And you don't belong to me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Freedom ♪

♪ I won't let you down ♪

♪ Freedom ♪

♪ I will not give you up... ♪

♪ Saying "I love you" ♪

♪ Is not the words I
want to hear from you ♪

♪ It's not that I want you ♪

♪ Not to say but if you only knew ♪

♪ How easy ♪

♪ It would be to show me how you feel ♪

BOTH: ♪ More than words ♪

♪ Is all you have to
do to make it real ♪

♪ Then you wouldn't have to say ♪

♪ That you love me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'd already know ♪

DENNIS: ♪ What would you do ♪

♪ If my heart was torn in two? ♪

BOTH: ♪ More than
words to show you feel ♪

♪ That your love for me is real ♪

DAVIA: ♪ What would you say ♪

♪ If I took those words away? ♪

BOTH: ♪ Then you
couldn't make things new ♪

♪ Just by saying "I love you" ♪

♪ La-di-da, da-di-da ♪
♪ Di-dai-dai-da ♪

♪ More than words ♪

JOAQUIN: This is my sister's Bible.

I think she might have
lived here at some point.

Where is she now?

JOAQUIN: I don't know. Maybe missing.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ More than words ♪

[ALL APPLAUDING AND CHEERING]

Oh. Thank you.

No problem.

Hey. So...

I never had the chance to ask.

How are you doing with the break-up?

- I'm okay.
- Yeah?

Yeah, me and Tanya are still friends.

It was a very conscious uncoupling.

You know I'm allergic to white nonsense.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I did want to ask you something.

Hmm?

I know we haven't been
together that long.

Uh, and I think as me and
Tanya grew farther apart,

I felt myself growing closer to you.

And I'd like to ask you...

to be my primary.

♪ Heavy conversations ♪

♪ I can tell your heart breaks when ♪

♪ You say you don't even know yourself ♪

♪ As best as the rest do ♪

♪ Just to convince yourself ♪

♪ That you're okay ♪

♪ But you come back to me ♪

♪ And you cry when the bad guys leave ♪

♪ Oh, you come back to me ♪

♪ And you lie when I want honesty ♪

[LINE RINGING]

Hi. Oh.

Sorry. I hope I didn't wake you up.

Yeah. Why would I be
asleep at : a.m. my time?

Sorry, I just...

I really needed to talk to you.

Hmm. Then why haven't
you called me back?

Because I'm...

angry you left.

And with no notice.

I feel like...

you abandoned me.

Why couldn't you have gotten a
job with the ACLU in Los Angeles?

Unless you actually just
wanted to get away from me?

Do you not want to live with me anymore?

No.

No, I took the job in D.C.

'cause it's the one I was offered.

And I'm really sorry
that I sprung it on you.

And I miss you so much,
and I'm so homesick.

You are?

Totally. That's why I keep calling

'Cause I need to talk to you.

Oh.

Wait. Hold on.

Did you dye your hair blonde?

A little blonde, yeah.

It looks nice!

CALLIE: Thank you.

Okay, so what do you need
to talk to me about right now

that couldn't wait till morning?

Well, um,

I'm still working at Revitalize Beauty,

trying to prove that
they stole our idea.

But I signed a non-compete agreement

so even if I wanted to quit,

I couldn't go back to
Bulk Beauty for two years

unless Evan buys the company,

which means we would

go right back to working with him.

And I definitely don't want that.

Hmm. Well, you don't have to,

'cause non-compete agreements

aren't enforceable in California.

Wait, what?

So then why did they make me sign one?

Because most people don't know that.

Okay, wait. So...

does this mean that I'm free?

Yes.

Oh, you see, this is why I need you!

I need you too!

My new boss is such a d*ck.

Oh, my God. Wait. Okay,
now, tell me everything.

CALLIE: He went to Harvard,

so naturally he thinks he's all that.

I swear he brings up singing
with the Krokodiloes...

What?

I know you quit the tour.

What's going on, Alice? Why did you lie?

♪♪