05x19 - A God-Fearin' Baptist and a Hot Trophy Husband

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Whatever it is, I'm here for you.

I got a girl pregnant.

Oh, no.

I messed up.

Oh, no.

What do I do?

Oh, no.

Please, say anything else.

I'm trying!

Okay...

Are you sure she's pregnant?

Yes, she took a test.

Sometimes those things are wrong.

She took more than one.

Well...

Are you sure it's yours?

Some gals like to get around.

Dad, she's pregnant, it's
mine and she's having it.

Y'all are too young to have a baby!

I am. She's actually .

Oh, no.

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

You realize you have
to tell your mother.

Well, I just told you.

Maybe we let it sit awhile.

[stammers] I can't know
this and keep it to myself.

Dale did. Like a champ.

[scoffs] Georgie, you have to tell her.

Fine.

Will you at least be there?

Yeah.

And tell her?

What's going on? Everything okay?

You might want to sit.

Now you're scaring me.

No one d*ed.

Kind of the opposite, actually.

Tell me.

Um...

I-I'm gonna...

I'm gonna have a baby.

- Are you kidding me?!
- It's true.

Okay, now I do need to sit.

♪ Or you can tell my lips
to tell my fingertips ♪

- Missy.
- ♪ They won't be reaching out ♪

♪ For you no more ♪

♪ But don't tell my heart ♪

♪ My achy breaky heart ♪

♪ I just don't think he'd understand ♪

What are you doing?

It felt weird coming in
without being invited.

That's because everything
you do is weird.

Where's Mom and Dad?

I don't know.

I just got home and no one's here.

You sure?

It's a tiny house and Dad's a big guy.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Where are you going?

To watch R-rated movies

until they get back, doy.

What do we even know about this girl?

Well, that's the thing...

Buckle up.

She's .

Years old?! Oh, my...

Guess we're standing again.

What kind of -year-old

dates someone your age?!

Obviously the kind that was lied to.

What are we gonna do?

That's what we're figuring out.

You're gonna have to marry her.

I think so, too.

Hell no!

What do you mean, "no"?

He got her pregnant!

Mary, she's .

Well, what choice does he have?

She's not gonna marry him.

What's wrong with me?

You're an idiot.

You're irresponsible.
You live in a garage

and use a sink as a toilet!

Care to jump in?

[knocking]

SHELDON: Hello?

Yeah, baby?

SHELDON: I was just
wondering where everyone was.

Uh, we're just in here talking.

We'll be out in a little bit.

- Everything okay?
- SHELDON: I'm fine.

But Missy's watching
a movie called Porky's.

I don't know what that is.

- That one's rough.
- Not good.

I'll be right back in, baby.

SHELDON: Hmm.

You're gonna have to
introduce us to this girl.

Why?

'Cause she's having our grandbaby,

you dumb son of a bitch.

George! But what he said.

I'll ask her, but she's not
very happy with me right now.

Yeah, I like her already.

[grunts softly]

[crickets chirping]

Relax, you earned this one.

[exhales] Thank you.

[door closes]

You coming back to bed?

In a minute.

[sighs]

Kind of déjà vu, huh?

Kind of.

I wanna be furious
at him, but how can I?

The trick is to forget we did
the same thing, then it's easy.

At the time, it seemed like
our lives were over, but...

then Georgie was born.

With that crazy head of hair.

[laughs] And just like that it was

the best thing that
could have happened to us.

What kind of cigarette
are you smoking there?

Oh, so, what do we do now?

We don't have a lot of choices.

We're gonna be grandparents and, uh...

What's the girl's name again?

Mandy.

And Mandy is gonna be part of our lives

in some shape or form
until we're, you know, dead.

What do you mean, "shape or form"?

Georgie's gotta marry her.

No, Mary, he doesn't.

How am I supposed to
set foot in my church

if our son has a child out of wedlock?

It's nobody's business.

It's a small town, George,

everything is everybody's business.

You ever stop to think maybe she doesn't

want to marry a -year-old?

He'll be in March.

All right, you're just being ridiculous.

I'm being a Christian.

When you were born, you were a
gift from God but that does not

change the fact that
I am very mad at you!

[door opens]

- All right.
- [door slams]

- You look like crap.
- Thanks.

- You go out drinking last night?
- Of course not.

'Cause when I look that bad,

I been out drinkin'.

I just didn't get much sleep.

Oh? Something bothering you?

Well...

there are some things

going on that are...

- ...of concern.
- Morning.

- Morning.
- Good morning.

Everything okay?

- Yeah.
- You bet.

Don't seem like it.

Well, it is. Go get ready for school.

Carry on.

[sighs]

Before I say anything,

I owe you an apology.

Love 'em, hit me.

I was just thinking about the hell

I put you through when...

SHELDON: Mom, have you seen
my Thursday socks? I looked in

my drawer and I could only
find Wednesday and Friday.

Thursday's are in the dryer.

Mm.

Oh. Here's the little rascals.

You were saying?

I was just thinking about

when I was pregnant with Georgie, and...

how hard that must've been for you.

I'm sorry.

Georgie got that girl pregnant?

Keep your voice down. And... yes.

Oh...

Something weird's going on.

If you mean my missing socks,

they were in the dryer
clinging to Dad's boxer shorts.

I mean with Mom. When
I was in the kitchen,

she and Meemaw got real quiet.

I was just in there and
they seemed perfectly normal.

And what about last night?

What about it?

They were talking in the garage

with the door shut.

What's odd about that?

Nobody in this house talks.

Hmm. What do you think is going on?

I don't know, but I'm
telling you, it's bad.

Not necessarily.

Maybe they're planning
a surprise party for us.

Our birthday isn't for months.

True. Maybe they needed some lead time.

You can't expect Stephen Hawking
to roll in at a moment's notice.

[knocking on door]

Come on, I'm taking you both
to school. Let's move it.

He looks terrible.

He has had heart problems,

plus he's been having
a rough time at work.

Not to mention he's pretty chunky.

Oh, dear. I wonder if
RadioShack makes a defibrillator.

That girl is like ten
years older than him.

Because he lied to her.

I told him from the start
that he needed to come clean,

and be honest.

[door opens]

Morning.

I know everything.

Dang it.

Why'd you have to tell her?

She is my mother, and...

Taking the kids to school.

- Bye.
- Have a good day.

- I see it now.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, in my defense...

You have no defense. You're an idiot.

That was a big part of my defense.

When do we get to sit down with her

and talk this through?

Ah, yeah, here's the thing about that:

she ain't real eager to meet y'all.

Why not?

Did you want to meet George's
parents when he knocked you up?

I was not "knocked
up," I was with child.

And he's right there.

♪

[radio playing quietly]

- What?
- Nothing.

I love you.

Okay.

In case it's not apparent, she
was speaking for both of us.

Okay.

Ah, damn it. I'm not
here to fight with you,

or pass judgment on you,
I just want to talk about...

where we're going with all this.

There's nothing to talk about.

- All this is my business.
- That's true.

I just thought it
might be nice if you got

to meet Georgie's family.

I haven't even told my own parents yet.

Just so you know, I went
through this very thing

with my own daughter, Georgie's mom.

So, we get it.

Really?

We just want to be helpful.

Well, I'm not very happy
with Georgie right now.

Nobody is. We get it.

MARY: Thanks, Brenda,
I really appreciate it.

Oh, nothing major, just, um,
some family stuff that we need

to talk about and it'd be
better if the kids weren't here.

Great, I'll send 'em over at :?

Okay.

- Where are we going?
- [gasps]

Don't be sneaking up on me.

I wasn't sneaking. Where are we going?

Brenda invited you and your brother over

to dinner with Billy tonight.

- Why?
- Because they're nice people!

Wow. Take a pill.

[scoffs]

I don't see why I got to wear a tie.

Because we want to
make a good impression.

She already met this
bozo, aren't we past that?

Hey, let's just keep in mind,
I didn't do this by myself.

It takes two to tango.

Do you even know what a tango is?

It's sex, ain't it?

[sighs] Pastor Jeff is right next door.

Maybe I should invite him to join us.

Why?

So we can bring God
into the conversation.

God let her get pregnant.
I think He's done enough.

[doorbell rings]

Okay, that's her.

Um, everybody, let's
make her feel welcome.

- Welcome.
- Hello.

Yo.

So, Mandy, what do you do?

Right now I'm just waiting tables.

Well, people need to eat.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

You know what I enjoy?
That T-G-I-F Friday.

They got a whole menu
page, just appetizers.

I hope brisket's okay.

Georgie wasn't too sure
what kind of food you liked.

We didn't do a lot of
eating when we were together.

So, Mandy, your people from around here?

Uh, Oklahoma originally.

Well, we won't hold it against you.

[laughs]

I guess we don't even
know your last name.

- McAllister.
- Scottish, right?

Right.

'Cause if it was Irish,
it'd be O'McAllister.

So, you're Catholic?

I'm not really anything.

But you'll be raising this child

with some sort of religious upbringing.

[chuckles] I haven't
really thought about it.

Well, that's one of the
things we can help with,

starting with grace.

- Mom...
- We're starting with grace!

Heavenly Father...

Why not heavenly mother?
Don't, just don't.

Heavenly Father,

bless this food and the
hands that prepared it.

And thank you for bringing
Mandy into our family

and watch over this
child as he or she grows

and becomes a God-fearin' Baptist, amen.

Amen.

Smooth.

You like meatloaf?

Yeah, is that what we're having?

No, just making dinner conversation.

We're having spaghetti.

With hot dogs cut up in it?

Ew, no.

I'd like to go home, please.

We can't.

How come?

Yeah, how come?

We don't know.

The leading theory is my father's dying.

I don't think that's it.

Well, something's wrong.

Maybe they're getting
divorced like my mom and dad.

Billy! We don't talk about that.

Never mind.

So, Mandy, my mother mentioned that

your folks don't know about the baby.

No, not yet.

Well, I'm sure they'll be excited

when you tell them you're bringing

new life into the world.

Is that how you felt
when she got pregnant?

About the baby?

Yeah. The guy who did it?
[blows raspberry]

Mutual.

They kid around like that.

Yeah, all good fun.

MARY: Well, regardless of
what goes on with your parents,

we want you to know
that we are here for you

and the baby, who we
will love and cherish.

Thank you.

Me, too. In fact, if you want,

I can go with you to tell your parents.

Yeah, and then my father can sh**t you.

[laughing]

I'm not kidding.

Maybe it would be better
if you went to your parents

with, um, good news first.

- And what would that be?
- Well...

everybody loves a wedding.

Would you stop with that?

- It needs to be discussed.
- No, it doesn't.

I'm having a baby, I don't
need to marry another one.

I know I'm young now,
but think about it...

When you're a dried-up old lady,
I'll be your hot trophy husband.

Maybe her dad should put you down.

MARY: I just think that

God wants children raised within
the bonds of holy matrimony.

Mary, they already
made one giant mistake,

they don't have to make another.

So, marrying me was a mistake?

I'm not talking about us,
I'm talking about them.

I think we all know who
you're talking about.

You really want to do this now?

You're honestly happy with
how your life turned out?

You have no regrets?

That "giant mistake" gave us

our children who I love very much.

- What about your husband?
- Oh, I love him just fine!

Oh, nice, put that on a Hallmark card.

What do you want me to say?

I want you to admit that this marriage

hasn't exactly been a bed of roses.

Wake up, no marriage is a bed of roses!

- Well, then I guess we nailed it!
- I guess we did!

And that kid is gonna be Baptist!

So, Mandy, glad you came?

Makes perfect sense,
they're getting divorced.

If they do, I'm staying with Mom.

That's fine, I'll take Dad.

And if he does die, you'll
get the house to yourself.

You can live with us.

Nobody's dying, nobody's
getting divorced.

Except you and Dad.

Just eat your dinner.

I wonder if our dad met another woman.

Nobody met nobody. You
eat your dinner, too.

My dad's with another woman. She's nice.

Dinner!

Which would be perfect with
little chunks of hot dog in it.

Her name is Martha Jean.

Billy!

[whispers]: She works
at a tanning salon.

Thanks for coming.

Yeah, it was great.

Okay, so, I'll talk to you?

I guess.

What are you doing?

Giving you a kiss good night.

I think you've given me enough.

Hey. Mandy, hold up.

Go away.

Sorry about all the yelling.

Are they always like that?

Not in front of company.

So, it's kind of like
you're already family.

- Lucky me.
- Mm.

Speaking of which, when are
you gonna tell your folks?

I was thinking about
waiting until my mom

tells me to lay off the pie.

Well, just remember,

if you ever need anything, call me.

I've already been through
this with my daughter,

so I know how to do it wrong.

[laughs softly] Thanks.

♪

You get a hug and I get nothing.

I know it didn't go
great the other night,

but I meant what I said...
I'll be there for you.

- Georgie, not now.
- I'm serious.

I'll go to baby classes with you.

You need to learn that breathing stuff.

Okay, one chicken fried
steak and a cheeseburger.

Ain't you gonna refill their water?

Go away!

Also, you'll be throwing up

in the morning... I'm good with that.

You may not know, but your feet

are gonna swell up, and your boobs.

I'll rub whatever you need rubbed.

Good to know.

COOK: Table three, order up.

Want me to get that?

You know, in your condition.

Georgie, I got it.

Sorry, I'll quit bothering you.

Great. Just one more thing.

I love you.

What?

You ain't got to say it back.

Yeah, I'm not gonna.

Don't forget their water!

I have new information.

What is it?

I heard them talking about a baby.

Oh, my.

You know what that means.

Mom's pregnant.

Exactly.