05x10 - We Are Not Alone

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Better Things". Aired September 2016 - current.
"Better Things" revolves around a divorced actress who raises her three daughters by herself.
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05x10 - We Are Not Alone

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♪ Oh, I wake up ♪

♪ Looking at my ♪

♪ Go to bed looking at my ♪

♪ Take a nap looking at my ♪

♪ Robot ♪

♪ Yes, I find the time ♪

♪ Looking at my ♪

♪ Send a note looking at my ♪

♪ Make a date looking at my ♪

♪ Robot ♪

♪ Oh, I find my way looking at my ♪

♪ Buy my shit looking at my ♪

♪ Get the news looking at my ♪

♪ Robot ♪

♪ Yes, I get paid ♪

♪ Looking at my ♪

♪ Get laid looking at my ♪

♪ Eat my food looking at my ♪

♪ Robot ♪

♪ Oh, I fried an egg ♪

♪ Looking at my ♪

♪ Broke a leg looking at my ♪

♪ Got a job looking at my ♪

♪ Robot ♪

♪ Yes, I read a book looking at my ♪

♪ Broke up looking at my ♪

♪ h*t a truck ♪

♪ Looking at my ♪

♪ Robot ♪


SAM: Oh, my God.



Oh. Amazing, huh?

Yo, Adrian.






SAM: It's all for you, Damien!


- ♪ Mummy, Daddy, look at me ♪

♪ I went to school and I got a degree ♪

♪ All my friends call it "the big D" ♪

♪ I went to school and I got the big D ♪

- ♪ I got the big D... ♪
- Shit.

- Ugh!


♪ I got the big D ♪

♪ I went to school... ♪

Sam Fox.

On the scene.

Childhood. Nostalgia.

- Down there

is the playground

where I used to hang out

and, uh...

That's where I kissed a
boy for the first time.

And for the record, I kissed him.

And then he put his
hand under my T-shirt.


Up here, that is

the window where I used
to sneak cigarettes.

Marion never smoked
because he is perfect.

- Hi.
- Oh. Hi. Hi.

Sorry. I...

I'm not creeping on
your house. I just...

I used to play on that
playground, and I-I lived there.

That used to be my house.

Right on.

Can I...


- Well...

Okay, you don't have to slam it.


It's amazing what you can see.

So cool.


Last time.

SAM: Yes.


- Hmm.


Uh, h-hi. Hello.

Hi, Sam.

May I come in?

Yes, yes. I was just, uh...

giving my chicken
carcass a happy ending.

- Come on, boys, let's go.

Come on in.

[CLEARS THROAT] I was just...

making stock.

Making stock.


Do you want some...

- Radish?

I'm just gonna say it out loud.

It's... hell

for me to be around your mother.

Actual t*rture.



It's because Phyllis
reminds me of my mother.

She's got that same... [SIGHS]

survivor, cultural mercenary,

flowers blooming out of
shit and ash mentality.

My mother was a cruel, petty,

angry troll.

I did not like my mother,
and she never liked me.

I knew I had to run away and avoid her

until she d*ed, and that's what I did.

I can't believe I just
said that out loud.


was there anything
about her that you liked?

Well, I mean, she
supported my whole family,

and, uh, I suppose I got
my work ethic from her.

But I also got the prickly,
stultifying stuff from her.

You? No.

I know what I am. Believe me.

Don't you think I'd rather be like you?

Just hanging out.

Making everyone feel comfortable.

But, uh, I drive people away.

Everyone except for Marion.

I think he knows how to handle me

because he's your mother's son.

If that makes sense.

Yeah. It does.

I have arms because of her.

And it's that same stubbornness,

it's that same babyish behavior

that has driven me
this close to matricide.

My mother tried to abort me,

- like, eight different ways.
- Whoa.

And I'm not speaking hyperbolically.

And the worst part is

she told me about every time.

See? Anatoly's mom isn't the only one.

The world is filled with mean moms.

Guess so.


I, um...

have always been
envious of you and Phil.

You two genuinely like each other.

No, it's true.

You do.

Wha... You...

Bye. Okay.

Uh, yes?

Take my hand.

I have chicken fingers. Okay...


It's okay.

Ow. Strong.


What is this?

My brother said you needed
something for the landing.

Your touching spot.

Your brother?

Joe, the feng shui guy.


Your brother.

Okay. And, also,

your brother is... [CLEARS THROAT]

- very hot.
- So's yours.

Ew. No.

Now you have a little
less of an empty nest.



I love it.

Thank you.

Thank you. I accept.

You are the essence of this family.

You keep it going.

And, uh, if I've
behaved badly, I'm sorry.

- Same, Caroline. I'm sorry, too.
- It's "Caro-lynne."

- I'm sorry for that, too.
- Okay.

Okay. [SIGHS]

Let's put you in pride of place.

I can't lift that thing. It's too heavy.

- Uh, I had somebody drop it off.
- Jesus.

- Oh. Okay.
- It's bronze.

- Be careful.

It-it's very valuable.

You're gonna have to have it insured.

JEFF: Sammy.

These are going in
the garage fridge. We know.

We're in a hurry. We
have to pick up his suit.

Oh, Sammy, uh, Push has
CBD cream for your hands.

- Don't eat it.

Oh, my God, it's gonna be so cute.

- DUKE: Hi, Push.
- FRANKIE: Hey, Push.

PUSH: Hi, Aunt Sammy.

- That's for you.
- Oh, thank you.

- You're welcome. Mwah.
- Mwah.

- You okay?
- Yeah, uh...

You guys, also, don't forget
to bring your own chairs.

And come back soon.







[SIGHS] Whoa...


- I got my period, period.

It is the heaviest period

I've ever seen, exclamation point.


Is it normal to get your period now?

Question mark.

At this time in your life?

Question mark.

I never thought I would
get my period again,


Also, don't forget to
bring the candles, period.

And your own chairs, exclamation point.

- Mark.






Because I saw a picture of
her, like, crying on Instagram,

- so I assumed she wasn't going...
- She posted...

- She posted a picture of her crying?
- Oh, yeah, she posted that,

and then I said, "Oh, send
pictures if you're going."

- You okay?

Yeah. I'm fine. Why?

DUKE: You're all flushed.

I am? Ooh.

That's a miracle, considering
the amount of blood...

What is that smell? [SNIFFS]


I don't smell anything.

Oh, I smell something, too.
[SNIFFS] Smells like anxiety.

And fish.


- Close your legs.


Whoever smelt it dealt it.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm done now.

Lol. It's not me. It's... [SNIFFS]

It's fish, the smell. [SNIFFS]

Oh, maybe it's Gefilte.


Oh, fish.

[CHUCKLES] Her fish.

[SIGHS] Thank God.


Honey, can we talk about this fish?

This fish is the size of a koi.

Okay, it's too big for this t*nk.

Is it the fish? Is he d*ad?


No, he's very much alive.

He's like a -year-old
who hasn't moved out yet.


What do you think he's thinking?

He's not. And how do
you know they're a he?

Well, I was just assuming

because "Gefilte" is traditionally

a boy's name.

BOTH: Lol.


I think...


Field trip?

♪ I know a place ♪

♪ I know a place, I know a place ♪

♪ We can go... ♪

Okay, just, everybody, let me just

think about this for one sec. Don't...

Just don't watch.

Let me just... Okay.

DUKE: Gefilte, congratulations.

You will be moving out of
this fakakta studio apartment

into a palatial estate.

Welcome to Dubai.

Good luck. Break a fin.

SAM: Oh...

How's it going?



Hi, there.

Fishing's over at the
other end of the lake.

There are world-class
bass, tilapia, trout.

And for that, you do need a license.

Okay, um, but we're
not, we're not fishing.

No. Not. No fishing going on here.

Did you just...

dump a fish?


SAM: Not at all.

Would that... be a bad thing?

Well, it interferes with the ecosystem.

Can't introduce a saltwater
fish to a freshwater lake.

Oh, God, we crossed the streams.

Literally. And whatever
kind of fish you dumped

will have a very low chance of survival

and can cause a massive
amount of damage.

SAM: Oh, shit.

We were just trying to
give him a better life.

RANGER: Look, I get it,

but you need to leave
the stocking to us.

That means no dumping

your own fish.

Are you kidding? This
is more than parking

in front of a f*re hydrant.

Also, don't feed bread
to the ducks. Come on.

And, uh, have a nice day.

SAM: I...

I know where you live.

Excuse me?

You have a purple built-in chest

in your second bedroom closet.

I buried Barbies in
the drywall in your garage.

Oh, my God.

I had a flood, and Barbies
came out of the wall.

Are you the lady that was filming
my house the other day?


I loved that house.

My parents lost it in bankruptcy.


I'm sorry. That's hard.

If it's any consolation,
it's not my house.

It's my parents'. They left it to me.

They passed, but I remember them

telling me how they were able to get it

because they got such a good deal.



You want to...

come by sometime? I-I don't know.

I could give you a proper tour.


Yeah, I would, I would really love that.

I-I-I just drive by
every once in a while

staring ghoulishly into it
trying to capture old memories.

Yeah. I've seen your car.

The El Camino.

- I love your car.
- Me, too.

Come by.

You know, let's pull
up loose floorboards.

I would really like that.

So, still?

Oh, yes. Definitely.


[GRUNTS] All right, people.

Let's get going. We don't
want to make the nice

Fish and Game ranger
mad with his nice g*n.

DUKE: What did he say?

Take it easy.

That's gonna be your new daddy.

We're gonna live in
Mommy's childhood house.



Can I get a hug?

- Mom.
- Aw.

You, too, bloodless daughter.

- Childhood.

- DUKE: Where you going?
- I'm going for a little walk.

Well, then take the dogs.

No, I'll be right back.

DUKE: Okay. I don't know.

And suck in for me. Mm-hmm.

- SUNNY: Hi. Come in.
- Hi.

Is this really happening?
What am I doing?

You're doing this because
we are withered husks,

and the pickings is slim.


- Hi.
- No, but seriously, honey, good job.

- Thank you.
- I mean, who could be better?

He's been pre-disastered, like Garp.

Yeah, I guess so.


I just want to thank you

for having us here on your special day.

And, here.

- This is for you.

- Money... and love.
- SUNNY: Oh.

- Th-Thank you.
- SAM: Aw.

- SUNNY: Th-That's so kind.
- Not in that order.

That's really nice, Caroline.

- So sweet.
- For the record,

I just have to say this.
This is a mistake.

All right? You can still get out of it.

It's not too late.

You don't know what
you're doing. You're...

You're scared.

You're vulnerable. You're scared...

to be alone.

It's not a reason to do
this to yourself again.

All right? He has scarred you.

And-and he has scarred all of us,

as-as a family.

Scars make you stronger.

Sisters can destroy you.

And why would you wear
white to my wedding?

f*ck off, Felicia.


Yeah, uh, do you guys have a tampon?


don't have my period anymore.

- Do you want a tissue?
- I just...

I'll... just gonna slip away.


How-how old is she now?

She's still getting her period?

Oh, Jesus!

- Lock's broken.
- Yeah, we don't have locks

on any of the doors.

House policy. Goodbye.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Come
back, come back. Come in here.


- Close the door.
- Okay.

Uh, yes?

So, I guess this is, uh,

it for us.

Old friends.



Goodbye now. Yes.

Thank you.

For this.



You okay?

Yeah, I'm just chillin'.

I got a bad stomach.

I mean, are you sure

about this whole thing?

Oh, that. Uh...

Not at all.

But it feels good, so
I'm gonna go with that.

Except for my stomach.

Well, you're right
where you should be then.


Excuse me.

Sorry to do this, but...

- Whoa, hey, soldier.
- I just got to...

That's why I came in. All right.

You have fun.


Can you come back in here
and tap me on the shoulder?

- This one's really gonna hurt.
- No. Ew.

God bless!



♪ Stand behind his drunken amp ♪

♪ Stand behind his light of love ♪

♪ Hear him yowl... ♪

SAM: Friends.


Village so dear.

We are gathered here

to reunite two of our people.


and Jeff.

♪ Do you believe in... ♪

SAM: I always thought that the first

wedding that I would preside over

would be a gay wedding.

- Please.

And, as we all know,
there's nothing gay about

Sunny or Jeff, except...

their out and proud son, Push. Go, Push!


♪ Do you believe ♪

♪ In rapture, babe? ♪

SAM: We all know that life takes us

down some strange

but familiar roads.

And the strangest,

the most science experiment-y one,

really, in fact, the meanest thing

that can ever happen to you is...

your kids grow up.

This house was covered
in glitter for years.

It was like a fairy m*rder crime scene.

And we survived all of it,

and here I am now alone,

staring into the abyss...

This is a real jawbreaker, buddy.


- Now.
- Yeah.

- SAM: Um...

Do you, Jeffrey Rosebud Rader,

promise to think about Sunny's
birthdays and anniversaries

months ahead?

And do you promise to
take loving pictures

of Sunny when she's not looking?

And continue in your good ways?

I do.

SAM: Do you, Sunny,

promise to try to forget
about the last years?

- [LAUGHS] I do.

SAM: But, most importantly,

do you promise to keep your
sun shining for yourself?

- [WHISPERS]: I do.

I now pronounce you
better for each other.

You may now grab face.



FRANKIE: We break these glasses because,

at this moment, we are at the height

of our merriment and gaiety.

We're too gay!

- Because...

where there is rejoicing,
there should also be trembling.

Woe, for we all must die.

Woe, for we all must die.

Memento mori.

- Bummer.
- Shh.

- FRANKIE: Sunny, Jeff,

may your love for each other last longer

than it would take to put these
pieces of glass back together.

- Sing ye.
- ALL: Sing ye.

- SAM: Let's eat!


Sweetie, why are Jews
called "the chosen people"?

That seems unfair.

Can I have this?

- You don't want none of this!
- LENNY: Lord, I am so happy

it's not me getting married.

- Don't mind if I don't.

Oh, I love weddings.

ALAN: Doesn't the keto make
your vag*na smell weird?

Yeah, well, I have that
anyway. I have a p*ssy.

- Pussies smell weird.
- RICH: I was keto for a year,

and now I'm just thinking,
did my p*ssy smell weird?

FELICIA: Are you, though?

If you had to leave in a
hurry, what would you take,

and what would you leave behind?

The earth? Or leave your home?

Oh, no, I was thinking, like, death.

Mom, if you had to leave right now,

like, what would you take and
what would you leave behind?

I would sow my field in a circle

and leave the four corners
to those who need it.

Our dad said that at a
seder once. Your grandpa.

[CRYING]: He would be very proud of you.

SAM: Jesus, bro, get ahold of yourself.

That's a rough one, man.

- Poor guy.

SAM: Oh, my God.

I think there's hormones
for men, aren't there?


SAM: This is dinner!


- SAM: Bro!
- You found my baseball cards.

Where-where are the rest of them?

And why did you write
your name on Hank Aaron?

Uh, those are my baseball cards.

Why do you...

- Why would they be yours?
- Your ba...

Yeah, I may owe you some money.

[CLEARS THROAT] Come here.

What? You gonna take me to
the rest of the baseball cards?

[CHUCKLES] With my name on it?

Stay there.


What is this?

- Mom wanted you to have it.
- What?

- Aw, come on.

Is it... Oh, shit.

Is that part of it?

- The lights going out?
- No.

- Hey.
- SAM: Hi.

- Need some help?
- No. You know what?

I'm gonna check the generator.

- Take care of your bride.

- Well, by "bride," I mean...
- Yeah, yeah.

- Can you...
- Hey, buddy.


You okay?


Yeah, this whole day. This, uh...

This whole year.


I miss smoking bones with you.

Hey, buddy.

We still got poker.

Maybe we'll take some
long walks on the beach.

- How about that?

PUSH: Ah, finally.

Mm, you guys are so cute together.

- We are. Don't be jealous.
- Hey.

- You should get a room.
- We have a room.


I'm proud of you, buddy.

- I really am.
- Thanks, Dad.

- It's a big day for you.
- You doing okay?

- You're an honest kid again.

- I guess so.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay, yeah.

I mean, what are the options? Huh?

Green light.

Press the green light.

- Mom, you all right?
- Hi. Yes.

I'm looking for the green
light generator. Green...

- [YELLS] f*ck! f*ck!
- Oh, my God.

- Shit. You okay?
- f*ck! f*ck!

NEIGHBOR: Excuse me.

Would you please refrain
from using vulgarities?

We have children over here.

DUKE [LAUGHING]: Oh, my gosh.

We're sorry. I apologize.

Thank you.

NEIGHBOR: Did you lose your power?

Yes, I lost my power long ago.

But also, I have no electricity.

How about you?

I do have a generator, though.

It's just not kicking in.

- NEIGHBOR: Who are you?

We live here. We're the Foxes.

We're the Shirikis.

I'm Setareh.

I like your music.

Oh. Thank you, dear.

I Shazam the d*ck out of it!


So sorry. Potty mouth.

SETAREH: Salaam.


Now we know our neighbors.


You're nice.

You know something, you're...
you're a really good person.

- What?
- You are.

You have... You have a way
of bringing people together

and... and-and making people feel good.

And... I don't know, I like it.

I like you.

I like the... I like the
way you live your life.

[HICCUPS] I gotta take a shit.





Slip away.

Just slip away.




KIRA DANE: In Japanese Buddhism,

life is described like water.

It's something that's poured
in and out of our bodies,

like moving from one
container to another.

From conception,

you're gradually poured into the world.

But you aren't even
considered fully poured in

until you're around seven years old.

By the time you're years old,

you've already started the slow process

of pouring back out.

So there's no single
moment where you start

or stop being alive.


That kind of dreamy mental absence

that you had as a kid,

the same kind of fogginess that
comes back when you grow old...

- Aw.
- That's attributed

to the waters of your
life being scattered.


♪ Into the wood ♪

♪ The wood, the wood, the wood ♪

♪ The wood, the wood ♪

♪ The wood, the wood... ♪

And now it's time to make your mizuko.

Feel free to open the package.

Give yourself time to feel
the clay in your hands.

It's your opportunity to

create a new beginning.

Yes, this time is joyful.

It's to celebrate.


You have courage to be here today.





Hello, darling.

Hi. It's just me. What are you doing?

Oh, we're just up the pub
serving breakfast and beer.

Say hi.

- All right, Sam?

Hello, Ben. My boy Ben.


What you up to?

I married Sunny and Jeff.

What? You what?

I got ordained, and I married them.

Who are they?

Mom, you know who they are.

It's Su... Doesn't matter.

Where are you? Why is it so dark?

I'm in my car outside the house.

- Whatever for?
- I don't know.

Oh, darling, you shouldn't
spend so much time alone.

Anyway, one day, your
knight on a white horse

is going to come
through and swoop you up.

What? What?

What even is that? No.

I don't want that. I don't want...

No, I don't want
somebody to swoop me up.


I don't want to s-swoop.

I don't want to get swooped up.

No, I really don't. I really don't.

I really don't want that.

I really... I like...

I like where I am. I'm... I'm...

I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy.

I really, really like where I am now.

I'm just realizing this right now.

Darling, you're rambling.


we had fun, didn't we?

Didn't we just?

I wish I had a quarter of your strength.

How's that?

It's very loud here.

I wish I had a quarter of your strength.

Um, I've got to run.

We're in the middle of the morning rush.

Bangers and mash and all
the bits like you like.

And good pub ale.



- I love you!




From the high desert in
the great American Southwest,

I bid you all good evening,
good morning, good afternoon,

wherever you may be in the
world's prolific time zones

covered by this program...
All of them...

Which is Coast to Coast AM.

I'm Art Bell.

All right, back to the
question of intelligence.

Uh, what are you able
to... a-a-attribute to them?

Do they, for example... do
they ever go through people?

Do they go through... You
said they went into the ocean.

- MAN: Right.
- ART BELL: Then,

according to the laws of physics,

it... they should move or
could move in the water,

but wouldn't they move slower
in the water than in the air?

- Well, that...
- The answer is no, huh?

MAN: No, when I talked
to Dr. Jack Kasher...

He's a professor of physics
at Nebraska... he said,

well, this puts it in
a total different realm.

There's no such thing
that can do that, you know.

ART BELL: You're telling me
that this week, on the th,

we're going to have a total eclipse.

You're telling me that we're
going to see some meteors

that we have not seen before.

You're telling me that
there are thousands

of new comets out there.

You're telling me... You
haven't even mentioned

the giant solar flares.

MAN: Nothing slows 'em down.

They just zip in, zip out.

So it's an incredible life-form.

You know, where they
come from, we don't know.

Who knows, you know?


♪ Some things in life are bad ♪

♪ They can really make you mad ♪

♪ Other things just make
you swear and curse ♪

♪ When you're chewing
on life's gristle ♪

♪ Don't grumble, give a whistle ♪

♪ And this'll help things
turn out for the best ♪

♪ And always look on
the bright side of life ♪


♪ Always look on the
light side of life ♪


♪ If life seems jolly rotten ♪

♪ There's something you've forgotten ♪

♪ And that's to laugh and
smile and dance and sing ♪

♪ If you're feeling in the dumps ♪

♪ Don't be silly chumps ♪

♪ Just purse your lips and
whistle, that's the thing ♪

♪ And always look on
the bright side of life ♪

♪ Come on, come on, come on, come on ♪

♪ Always look on the
bright side of life ♪


♪ For life is quite absurd ♪

♪ And death's the final word ♪

♪ You must always face
the curtain with a bow ♪

♪ Forget about your sin ♪

♪ Give the audience a grin ♪

♪ Enjoy it, it's your
last chance anyhow ♪

♪ So always look on the bright ♪

- ♪ Side of life ♪
- ♪ Side of death ♪

Of death? I forgot that part.


♪ A-just before you draw ♪

♪ Your terminal breath ♪

- Oh... okay.

♪ Life's a piece of shit
when you look at it ♪

♪ Life's a laugh and
death's a joke, it's true ♪

♪ You'll see it's all a show ♪

♪ Keep 'em laughing as you go ♪

♪ Just remember that
the last laugh is on you ♪

♪ And always look on
the bright side of life ♪

- ♪ Do do-do do-do do-do ♪

♪ Always look on
the bright side of life ♪

Come on, Sam, cheer up.

Key change!

♪ Always look on
the bright side of life ♪


♪ Always look on
the bright side of life ♪

Good job, cookie.

♪ Worse things happen at sea, huh? ♪

♪ Always look on
the bright side of life ♪

♪ You're going back to nothing ♪

♪ What have you lost? Nothing ♪

♪ Always look on
the bright side of life ♪

♪ Come on, cheer up, ya old buggers ♪

♪ Come on, give us a grin,
there you are, see? ♪

♪ Always look on
the bright side of life ♪

Mwah! Good chi!

Cheer up! Come on. Let loose.

Just f*cking let go,
Paige, for f*ck's sake.

- Yes!

See you later. Keep in touch.

♪ Always look on
the bright side of life... ♪

So, all right, your
mother and father hate you

because you're a raging h*m*.

What does it matter?


You got jazz hands? Let me see 'em. Hey!

I love you, Mom.

Love you so much.

I love you, for sure.

Put down your robots.


BOTH: I love you!

I love you.

BOTH: Mwah. We love you.

ALL: Mwah! I love you.


♪ Here, I'm near the end now ♪

♪ Always look on
the bright side of life ♪

♪ All right, all right ♪

♪ Always look on the bright... ♪
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