02x21 - My Poor Master, the Civilian

[bunniefuu]

- Good evening, Major Healey.
- Hi, Jeannie.

Very good. Where's Tony? Tony!

I have not seen Major Nelson
since early this morning.

Well, that's not like him to be late.

- We've got a dinner date. I'm starved.
- I do not understand.

He has never been this late
without calling me before.

You're a little slow.

You know, something funny
is going on.

Something funny?

No, not that kind of funny.

He's been in a secret conference
with a lot of senators and generals.

And he did not tell you
what it was all about?

I haven't had a chance to get to him.

Oh, well, you do not think
anything is wrong, do you?

No. What could go wrong?
The only thing-

- Hello, everybody.
- Oh, good evening, master.

- We we're worried about you, master.
- Well, I got- I got tied up.

If we're going to dinner,
we'd better make it early.

We gotta be at the simulator
tomorrow at : .

- I won't be there, Roge.
- What do you mean, you won't be there?

I've just come from General Peterson.
I'm not in the space program anymore.

Do you mean you're no longer
an astronaut, master?

- That's right, Jeannie.
- I can't believe it.

- They can't do that to you.
- Oh, they didn't do it. I did it.

- You mean, you resigned?
- That's right.

I can't believe it.

Why would you wanna do
a thing like that?

I'll wash up and we'll go out to dinner.
I'd rather not discuss it tonight.

You don't wanna discuss it.

Being an astronaut's the most
important thing in your whole life.

You quit the program just like that.

You don't wanna discuss it. Okay.
Let's just not discuss a thing.

Forget the whole thing.
I'm your best friend.

You don't wanna discuss it?
Tell you what.

You can discuss the whole thing
without me together.

Don't need me. I don't need you.

Major Healey seemed very upset.

Yeah, he is a little shocked, isn't he?
Well.

You really do not have to go back
to Cape Kennedy, master?

No, Jeannie.

Oh, that is wonderful, master.

The first thing we will do
is take a trip around the world.

What colour yacht
would you prefer, master?

And would you rather travel
east to west or west to east?

East to west. Or west to east.
We're going to go to Columbus, Ohio.

What is a Columbus, Ohio?

It's a city, Jeannie.

I haven't retired,
I've got a new job.

What kind of a job?

Well, I'm gonna head up...

...a company that makes
booster rockets for missiles.

And you would rather do that and live
in Columbus than be an astronaut?

It's not a question
of what I'd rather do.

- It's that I couldn't turn it down.
- Well, why not?

Because three senators
and four generals asked me to take it.

It seems that the man
who was in charge retired...

...and there was no one else
to take his place.

Well, if it makes you happy,
it makes me happy.

Oh, yeah. Why shouldn't I be happy?
I'm gonna be...

...vice president
in charge of production.

Vice president?

Columbus, Ohio.

Oh, I am pleased that they named
a city after my friend.

The booster rockets are very important
to the space program.

Columbus was such a nice man.

Did you know that he used to
get seasick?

The other man considered besides
myself was a Professor Lakewood.

He turned it down because
his wife won't leave Connecticut.

He should never have been a sailor.

It's the biggest break of my life.

I'll have a huge salary
and two secretaries...

...and I should be
the happiest guy in the world.

Good. Shall we go out
to dinner now, master?

No, thank you, Jeannie.
I'm not hungry.

I think I'll go to bed early.

Oh, would you mind, please...?

Thank you.

Good night.

Oh, Major Nelson.

- Yes, sir.
- Come in. Come in, come in.

I just heard the news. Is it true?

Are you really leaving NASA?

Oh, yes, quite true, sir.

I can't believe it.

I thought I knew you as well
as I know any man in this world.

And I'd bet my last dollar you'd never
give up being an astronaut.

Well, you know how it is, sir.

When a big opportunity comes along,
you can't let it slip through the fingers.

I just came in to pick up
a few papers and things of mine.

I'll miss you on that world cruise.

- I'm not going on any world cruise, sir.
- No, no, no, I am.

Mrs. Bellows has been after me
for some time to do this.

I couldn't leave before, of course...

...but now that you're leaving,
I'm resigning.

Well, I don't understand, sir.

Major Nelson, I planned to resign...

...and go back into civilian practice
two years ago.

But then you arrived
and I couldn't tear myself away.

Oh, I see.

The first thing I am going to do
is take a year off...

...and write a book about you.

I've been taking quite a few notes.

Oh, yes?

I am gonna
make you famous, major.

Well, I really don't wanna
be that famous, sir.

Well, you can hardly avoid it.

In some manner I don't understand,
you've been touched by fate.

By fate? Oh no, it's not by fate.
I can assure you-

I'm sorry. Well, I'm sorry
to be losing track of you.

I keep feeling I'm on the verge
of discovering what there is about you.

Oh, well, I'm sure our paths
will cross again.

Goodbye, major.

- Goodbye, sir.
- And good luck.

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Roge.

It's nice.

Yeah, it's a tie.

Oh, congratulations.

On what?

Oh, I just heard the news
about your new civilian job.

Yeah. Well, when you get
a big opportunity like this...

- ... you can't let it-
- Slip through your fingers.

- Yeah, that's it.
- You're gonna be vice president...

- ... in charge of production.
- Yeah, that's right.

Roge, the reason I took the job is-

Look, you don't have to
explain it to me.

Two secretaries, a big office.
I mean, you'll be having a ball.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I'll still be in the space program.
That's the important thing.

You'll be behind a desk
and I'll be here.

- Roge.
- What?

I don't need this thing anymore.
Why don't you take it, huh?

Well, we'll probably be running
into each other all the time.

- There's no use saying goodbye.
- Sure, I'll see you again.

- Well, okay, I'll probably see you then.
- Okay.

Roge.

I probably will need the cord.

Well...

I can't go through with it,
General Peterson.

We've been through this before.
You don't wanna leave.

I don't want you to leave. Washington
feels you can do a more important job...

...running a m*ssile plant
and that's that.

- Couldn't you tell them you don't-
- No, I can't. You heard them.

They want you and I'm
under orders to deliver you.

Now, if I could find a way to keep you
here, don't you think I would?

- Yes, sir.
- Well, I'm sorry, Tony.

We've both given our word
and that's final.

- Yes, sir.
- It's not gonna be as bad as you think.

You'll find out
how the other half lives.

A little luxury never hurt anybody.

The last thing I need
in the world is luxury.

I just turned down
a cruise on my own yacht.

- What?
- Oh, well, it's nothing, sir.

Isn't there a chance
that you could call somebody and-

The subject is closed, Tony.
All you can do is make the best of it.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'll miss you too, sir. And NASA.

Fire!

I'm so upset.

- You're upset?
- I'm worried about Major Nelson.

Oh, you mean the tycoon.

Don't worry about him.
He's got it made.

From now on, it's go, go, go
with martinis and golf balls.

Oh, no, he's very unhappy.

- Can you not do something?
- Well, if you could just get him...

- ... to change his mind.
- How?

How?

Wait a minute.

We know he won't be happy
unless he's an astronaut, right?

Right.

And he certainly won't be happy
sitting behind a desk.

- Oh, that is right.
- Well, then, why can't he see it?

If there's only some way
to get him to look into the future.

Oh, but he can. That is easy.

That's easy.

That- You mean
you can show him what it's like?

- Of course.
- Well, Jeannie, that's wonderful.

One look at his new job
and he'll turn it down, just like that.

Let's go and show him, huh?
Oh, wait a minute. How bad is it?

Well, I do not know.
Would you like to see it?

Yeah, we'd better take a look at it first.
No use shattering his ego too much.

Pick his worst day.

His worst day.

Hey, look at that.

Oh, what is it?
Hey, how does it work?

- Well, first you put a drachma in.
- Oh, a drachma, yeah.

A drachma.

- Now turn the handle.
- Okay.

Oh, that is too slow.

- Oh.
- A bit faster.

No, no, no. Not too fast.
Just, just...

That is better.

Mr. Nelson.

Hey, that is better.

Would you like to sign this?

Just a moment, Jane.

Ellen.

Ellen.

Oh, terrific.

Well, thank you, thank you.

- Did Miss Brooks call?
- Oh, yes.

She'd love to have lunch with you.

Her chauffeur will pick you up.

Oh, you have a terrace table
at the country club.

Oh, and your theatre tickets
are all set for this evening.

Oh, good, thank you.

My pleasure.

Oh, Jane.

- Ellen.
- Ellen.

Thank you.

Mr. Nelson.

Here's the report you asked for.

Thank you, Sue.

Oh, I see production's up
percent.

Yes, and it's all due to you.

It's a team effort.

Please remember
that I'm on your team.

I'll try to remember.

Oh, General Peterson
is waiting to see you.

General Peterson?
Well, show him right in.

- General Peterson.
- Thank you.

Tony.

Martin, what brings you
to Columbus?

I flew in to see you. I wanted to tell
you what a great job you're doing.

- Thank you very much.
- We're all proud of you.

It's a team effort. How's Roger?

He's fine. Sent his regards.

Sue, I've signed those contracts.

I wanna get them out
in the early mail.

Well, it's quite a set-up
you got here, Tony.

- Yes, it's a team effort, as I said.
- Yeah, I can see that.

I told you it wouldn't be so bad,
once you got yourself adjusted.

Yes, I'm trying to get-
I don't find it easy.

It's time for your massage,
Mr. Nelson.

Well, I won't detain you.

Keep up the good work, Tony.

Feel free to drop in anytime, Martin.

I wouldn't want to interrupt
your schedule.

Shall we go to work, Tony?

- What happened?
- It needs another drachma.

Well, give me another one.

I am out of drachmas.

You're out of drachmas? At a time
like this, you're out of drachmas.

Listen, is that what
an average day is like?

- Yes.
- And that's his worst day?

Yes. Would you like me
to show you a good day?

No, I'd like you to show me
where I can get a job like that.

My goodness,
we have to get it back on again.

Shall we show Major Nelson
what his new life will be like?

Oh, we show him that,
we'll never get him to stay.

No, we're gonna have to
think of something else.

His first secretary
should've worn a veil.

Yeah, she should've worn a veil.
Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. You want Tony Nelson
to be happy, don't you?

- You know I do.
- And he's not going to be happy...

...unless he's an astronaut.

Yes.

What do you want me do to?

Lie a little.

- Good evening, master.
- Oh, hi, Jeannie.

- Packing, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.

- I think I found a buyer for the house.
- Oh, that's great.

- I've grown very fond of this place.
- Yeah, me too.

Well, just think how exciting it will be
living in Columbus, Ohio.

Yeah.

- I wonder what your life will be like.
- I don't know.

- I can show you if you like.
- Show me what?

Would you like to see you
in your new job?

No, not particularly.

You mean, you wouldn't like to see...

...what it's like in a typical day
in the future, say, a year from now?

- Could you do that?
- Of course.

Well, it might be kind of interesting.

Oh, yes, you're gonna be
very happy, huh?

Shall we show him his new job?

There.

- Here, take a look at this.
- Now I will put a drachma in.

- What is it?
- I thought you're all out of drachmas.

What is this?

Well, it's- Well, just turn
the handle there, you'll-

Watch very closely, master.

Not too fast.

Sally.

There.

Just a minute.

What do you want?

Would you make me
some fresh coffee, Sally, please?

These have gotta get out tonight.

Can't it wait until the morning?
It's after midnight.

Look, as far as I'm concerned,
I don't care if they get out at all.

You think I like working these hours?
I got a life of my own, you know.

Yeah, I know that, Sally.
Maybe tomorrow we can finish early.

It would help if they had
somebody in your job...

...who knew what he was doing.

Your phone is ringing.

Hello.

Oh, yes, sir.

You're gonna cancel the order?
You can't do that now, sir.

I know we were supposed to
have it out last night...

...but one of our machines
broke down.

Well, I'll have it out
first thing in the morning.

Yes- Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Oh, please. Help.

Here's some more cancellations.

- More cancellations?
- Oh, and here's your dinner.

I just got a call from the foreman.

Oh, yeah?
Is the number one machine-?

Is the number one machine fixed?

- Yes.
- Oh, good, good.

But number two and three are out.

I want a raise.

Yeah, that figures.

Oh, go on in.

Nelson.

Hey, General Peterson- Yes, sir?
What brings you to town?

I came down here
to find out what's going on.

I know we're a little behind
in the booster rocket deliveries-

A little behind? I think you're
deliberately sabotaging us.

Why, this is the worst defence plant
in the country.

I'm asking for
a congressional investigation.

A congressional investi-

Well, sir, we're having a little trouble
with our equipment...

...but we're having it fixed.

We're working around the clock.

Don't bother. We just cancelled
all your defence contracts.

Oh, sir, you can't do that.
Give me a chance.

- We'll get them out as soon-
- I gave you a chance, Nelson.

- You let me down.
- Yeah, but general, look, if you just-

The number one machine
has broken down again.

And if Aggie gets a raise,
I want a raise.

- You want a raise.
- You heard it, buster.

You big idiot!

- Here.
- Fix it.

I'm gonna fix it?
I gotta fix it?

Is it really gonna be that bad?

- Oh, yes, master.
- Oh, that's terrible.

I knew you'd hate it. Did you see
the office and the secretaries?

I never thought
it's gonna be that bad.

I knew it'd shake you up.
Now you know it-

I'm gonna get down there as fast
as I can and straighten things out...

...before they cancel the contract.

This could set the space program
back years.

He would not be in this trouble...

...if it were not for that
Professor Lakewood's silly wife.

Yeah, it was all his silly wife's fault.

Who?

The wife of the other man
they wanted for the job.

Major Nelson said he refused it.

Because of his wife?

Yes, she has a home in Connecticut
and she does not want to leave it.

- That's it.
- That is what?

That's the person
we're gonna work on, his wife.

Oh, but if she loves her home,
how can I make her leave it?

Yeah.

Oh, if you loved your home,
what would make you leave it?

- You mean-?
- Yeah.

That's the most incredible thing
I ever heard.

No, Tony's on his way
over here now.

I'll talk to him and get back to you.

Poor woman.

Come in.

Tony, come in and sit down.

Thank you, sir.

Hey, Tony, how do you really feel
about this job you're taking over?

Oh, I consider it
a great opportunity, sir.

A challenge anyone
would be proud of.

- Between us.
- I hate it.

How would you like to stay
where you are?

- You mean I don't have to go?
- It's up to you.

You can have the job if you want.
But I ought to tell you.

I had a call from Professor Lakewood.
He'll take the job if you don't want it.

I understood his wife
didn't wanna leave her house.

- She was driven out by snakes.
- Snakes?

It's the most incredible thing
you ever heard of.

She was getting into bed, the snakes
came up the stairs and into her room.

He says there were
thousands of them.

Anyway, she refused to set foot
in the house again.

If you don't mind giving up
a big job and a big salary-

- And two secretaries.
- Two secretaries.

- your place on the space program
is still open.

- Major.
- Oh, yes, sir.

I've just heard the news.
Is it true?

Oh, that's right. I'm not going.

But I'll certainly miss you.
I hope you enjoy your cruise.

- Cruise?
- Yes.

Do you think I'll leave you here alone?
Oh, no. If you're staying, I'm staying.

I'll just go and get back
my resignation.

No, no, no, I'm leaving.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I see you're unpacking.

Oh, yeah. I guess
you haven't heard the news.

- News?
- Yeah, I'm not going.

You're not going-
Well, what happened?

Oh, well, there was
this Professor Lakewood.

- He had a wife who wouldn't leave-
- Hello, master.

I am ready to leave
for Columbus, Ohio.

We're not going to Columbus.
We're staying here.

We are? What happened?

Well, this professor and his wife were
driven out of the house by snakes.

The snakes ran up to the bedroom
and she came out screaming.

Roger, how do you know all that?

- A lucky guess?
- Jeannie.

- I have some housecleaning to do.
- Did you send those snakes to her?

Please do not be angry, master.
I only did it to help you.

- Don't be angry, you're asking-
- Wait, don't blame her. It was my idea.

I guess we shouldn't have
butted in in the first place.

Well, if you hadn't have,
I'd never have forgiven you.

Do you mean that?

Of course I do.

Oh, master!

Oh, does he not look handsome!

Oh, welcome back.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Well, I'm sorry you're busy tonight.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, maybe some other time then.

Yeah, bye. Nice talking to you.

Any luck, Roge?

Well, everyone's got a date tonight.

- Know how busy Monday nights are.
- Yeah, yeah.

Do you mind if just
the three of us go to dinner tonight?

- Oh, of course not.
- No, fine.

Yeah. Hey, wait a minute.

Do you know that cute little secretary,
the one without the veil, with the-

- Oh, yes.
- Well, I was wondering...

...if she's not doing anything tonight,
maybe you could:

Is it all right, master?

I don't know, I haven't seen her...

...but if it's all right with Roger,
it's okay with me.

She's beautiful.
You'll love her. Oh, just-

- Would you mind Jeannie, just-?
- Of course.

I'm used to getting picked up
at my place.

I hope we don't go to
some cheap restaurant.

I'm all dressed up
and I wanna go someplace nice.

I spent . on this dress
and I don't wanna waste it.

After dinner, I wanna go dancing.

I hate a cheap date
who won't take you dancing.

The last fellow I went out with...

...insisted that we go
to some crummy place.

We ended up...