02x06 - Toby

[bunniefuu]

"Double, double
toil and trouble

"Fire burn
and cauldron bubble. "

I don't know
why people do this.

It's not at all good
for the cuffs.

Takes the starch
out of them.

I wonder if it does
that to babies?

Of course,
that must be the idea.

As you shall soon see,

tonight's play bears
a relation

to the foregoing,
however slight.

It is a tragical, comical,

historical, pastoral,
musical mystery

entitled "Toby. "

"Toby" takes place
in New York in

and on your television screen
in just a moment.

So, well,
then he says

he wants new dishes
in the cupboards.

"New dishes,"
I said, "Mr. Birch.

"Look, I don't put new dishes
in my furnished flats. "

But no, he insists,

"She's got to have
new dishes
when she moves in. "

Some nerve.

Yeah.
"Well," I says,

"Oh," he says,
"I'll pay for them myself. "

He says, "Get her
some pretty things.

"She comes from
a good family.

"She's used
to nice things. "

Good family?
And she's gonna live
here in this dump?

Mrs. McGurk, take these
and stick them on the shelf

if you don't want
a teapot over your head.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, well, ladies,

this is very pleasant,
very pleasant indeed.

I hope you like the pattern
on the new dishes, Mr. Birch.

Yellow roses,
it's called.

Yes, very nice.
Very nice.

Oh, what will I put
these flowers in?

Oh. Mrs. McGurk,
you be a good one,
run upstairs

and get a vase
out of that second-floor
storeroom, huh?

Yes, ma'am.

The Queen of Sheba
will be thrilled.

Queen of Sheba?

Your friend
that's moving in,
she means.

Queen of...

Oh, no,
she's nothing like that.

She's a very simple girl.

Girl?

Well, I...
Time passes, I know,

but here in the mind
and in the imagination

it doesn't pass.

Why, to me,
Edwina's still a girl.

Well, your Edwina's no girl.

Not after years,
she ain't, Mr. Birch.

Twenty years.

What kind of a girl
is your Edwina, Mr. Birch?

Heavens, I scarcely know.

She was the shyest,
most gentle thing on earth

back home in Canandaigua.

Oh, that's where
we both come from,

Canandaigua. Upstate.

Did you love her?

Well, I think that's
rather personal, don't you?

Oh, come off it,
Mr. Birch.

You've been my tenant
upstairs for years.

There ain't much
we haven't talked about.

Yes, but this I'd rather
not talk about.

Then you did love her.

Loved her?

I was possessed by her.

Then what happened?

Well, her father
was very rich.

He owned the biggest house
in town.

And, well,
I was very poor.

Oh, then her father
objected to you marrying her?

Oh, no. Not in the least.

I courted her
for two years.

We would sit on the porch
in the summer.

Oh, those long, hot days
with the smell of the flowers.

I loved her
more than my life.

But witness the fact
that I never married.

And she did?

Oh, no. No.

Well, then what happened
between you two?

Why didn't you
marry her?

Well, I...

Hey, it's got a chip in it.

I hope your lady friend
ain't gonna mind.

Oh, thank you,
Mrs. McGurk.

You've done very well.
Thank you.

Yeah.

Oh, that's
a lovely shape for roses.

She loved roses.

Her porch back home
was a bower of roses.

They climbed all across
the trellis,

pink ones,
and white ones, and...

Oh, excuse me
for rattling on like this,

but I think...

Well, I believe
this is the happiest
day of my life.

Oh! Oh, for heaven's sakes.

I glued them handles on
only last week.

What's the matter
with you, Mr. Birch?

It's a bad sign.

Bad sign, my eye.

Stick them
in this pitcher here.

Everything will be
all right.

I can't help feeling
it's a bad sign.

Oh, go on with you.

Now, go on up
into your own place,
change your shirt.

Your lady friend
will be here any minute.

Leave the roses
to me, huh?

Oh, if you
don't mind, I'd rather.

Thank you, Mrs. Foster,
thank you for everything.

You wanna be alone
when she comes,
is that it?

Well, if you don't mind,
I'm sure you understand.

Don't I just?

I guess you won't
be needing two flats for long.

No, I'm sure we won't.

And as soon as we settle
the marriage details...

Yeah, well,
good luck.

And mind you give me
days' notice
on that other flat.

It's just
gotta rain.

It's gotta blow up
the whole town,
one or the other.

Can't go on like this.

Is no gonna rain,
and is no gonna blow out.

Is gonna go on
just the way it is.

Summer in New York.
It's cooler in the oven.

Stuart. Stuart,
let the lady pass,

or you want I should
paste you one?

He's... He's waiting
downstairs for you, miss.

Hey.

Who is this Miss Ritzy?

This Miss Ritzy
is Mr. Birch's friend.

He rented the basement
flat for her.

MR. McGURK: Birch's friend?
That weasel's got a friend?

MRS. McGURK: He ain't no...
You keep your mouth shut.

Edwina.

Hello, Albert.

Uh...

Come in,
come in, my dear.

I didn't know.
You never told me.

Oh, I have so much
to tell you, Albert.

So much
has happened to me.

Well, we'll be together now.

We'll have hours
and hours to talk.

Oh, how we used to talk
in the old days.

Do you remember?

I've never forgotten.

Where shall I put
the baby, Albert?

Oh.

In the bedroom, Edwina.

Here, this way.

Why do you keep
his eyes covered?

He'll smother
under that blanket.

The poor dear's
just getting over
scarlet fever.

The doctor said he was
to remain in the dark

for several weeks yet.

Scarlet fever,
poor little thing.

Have you any milk
for Toby's bottle?

Oh, yes, yes.
I laid in a few supplies.

But I never thought
the milk would be for a baby.

I didn't know
you'd been married, Edwina.

Oh, Toby isn't
my child, Albert.

He's
my sister's child.

You remember Martha?

Of course.

She married Otto Schmidt
who worked in the bank.

They were driving
in their carriage,

a brand-new carriage,

and they were hit by a train
at Price's Corners.

They were both
k*lled instantly.

k*lled?
Both of them?

Luckily, Toby was at home
with his nurse.

Poor little thing,
scarcely three months old.

I'm his guardian now.

Poor Edwina,

you must have
had a terrible time.

I think the milk
is warm enough now, Albert.

Put some in this bottle,
there's a dear.

Of course.

You went away and you
never wrote me, Albert.

I never heard
a single word from you,

not even a postcard.

Did you really
go to college, Albert?

Oh, I'm sure you fell
in love with some other girl

and forgot
all about me.

Oh, no. It's not true.

I never fell in love
after I left you.

I did go to college

but I couldn't finish.
There wasn't enough money.

So I left and came to New York
and I've been here ever since.

Then you never became
a lawyer, Albert?

What are you then?

Oh, I keep the books
in a department store.

I'm a bookkeeper,
Edwina.

A bookkeeper?

How strange that
I should be marrying
a bookkeeper.

Oh, don't
look like that.

I don't mind,
I don't mind at all.

And Toby's too young to mind,
so what's the harm?

Why, there's no harm,
absolutely none.

I shall buy you
a box of pencils

and a ledger
for a wedding present.

And I shall
wear roses.

I remembered
you loved them.

Oh.

Roses.

Oh, what fragrance.

We always had roses
in our garden at home.

I shall always
try to have roses
for you here, Edwina.

Oh, I'm glad I put
that advertisement
in the newspaper.

I'm glad we found
each other.

Oh, my dear,
when I... When I saw this
in the personal column,

I couldn't believe it.

I had thought to go
to the end of my life alone.

And then there was this.

"Seeking information
as to the whereabouts

"of Albert Birch,
formerly of Canandaigua. "

Oh, well, you should have
come back to me years ago.

But I couldn't.
I couldn't, Edwina.

I knew I could
never marry you.

I could never
make the living

that I had hoped to make
as a lawyer,

nor could I ever have
the social position
that I thought you wanted.

Social position? Me?

I only wanted to be with you,
as we are now.

As we are now.

And will be now,
forever.

And now I must
take up my duties

as a proper father.

Now, you make yourself
some tea

while I give
the little one his bottle.

No, no! No one's
to go near him.

Don't be silly, my dear.
He's to be our child now.

No!

No one's
to go in there!

Not yet.
Not yet, Albert!

But why?

He's not well.

He's not quite
himself yet.

Well, I only
thought to help.

A mother,
even a foster-mother,

feels things no man
could ever understand.

Please.

Make me some tea.

Hey, listen.
Listen, did you hear that?

Wasn't that thunder?

Ah, it's the elevator
over in the Bowery.

Hey, look.
Here she comes.

You know what
I'm gonna make her do?

I'm gonna
make her talk.

Yeah, do that.
Three weeks she's been here,

and she ain't opened
her mouth to one of us.

Is it hot enough
for you, Miss Freel?

It's very warm,
but I don't mind.

How's the baby
standing the heat?

He's fine.

Excuse me, do you think
I could get by?

What's the hurry?

I've got to get the milk
into the icebox

before the sun sours it.

Oh, let her get by, Mac.
She talked, didn't she?

We've been wondering
about the baby.

The old lady here,
she says...

I never said no such...

When are we gonna
see the baby?

Quite soon.

He's so much better now.

Please,
let me get by.

Hey, come on, Mr. McGurk,
let the lady pass.

I ain't stopping her.

He's playful, miss,
like a gorilla.

Now, you quit it,
Mac, it's too hot.

I'd like to see her get mad.
She looks too cool.

How I wish
already you'd go back
to work in the garbage truck.

Mamma mia! He sits around
all day long, just tries
to think up trouble.

Ah, shut your face.

I ain't stopping the lady,
now, am I, miss?

I'm gonna swat you one
right in your beak

if you don't quit it, McGurk.

Now, you just go on
downstairs, miss.

And don't you try
something or I'll hit you...

Well, and how
is my girl today?

Oh, don't do that!

Darling, what is it?

I don't want you
startling me like that.

So, you're upset.
What's happened?

Nothing's happened,
it's just...

Oh, never mind.

I brought you something.

Put it on the table.

I'll be with you
in a moment.

And if we're going
for a walk after supper,

you'll want to go
upstairs and wash up,
I'm sure.

Edwina, you've got
to tell me when
we're to be married.

It's been three weeks
and you keep
putting me off.

Oh, not now, Albert.
Why must you discuss it now

when I'm getting
the baby's supper ready?

You've changed about me.

In your feelings for me,
I mean.

Well, I'll confess
something to you, Albert.

I'm just now beginning
to get used to you,

to having people around me.

You ought to be able
to understand that.

I've lived alone
for so many years

and now I have
Toby and you.

It's been quite a shock.

But I am getting
used to it. Oh, I am.

And soon, quite soon
I'm sure, we can be married.

There now,
I've explained it to you.

So, run along
and freshen up.

We'll have a bite to eat

and then we'll go for a walk
along the Battery

and watch the ferryboats
crossing the harbor.

It's the most beautiful
sight in New York.

It's so wonderful
having you here, Edwina.

Thank you, Albert.

Now, run along, now.

Who is it?

Open in the name
of the law.

It's only us,
your upstairs neighbor.

We brought you
some cold beer,
didn't we, Mac?

Yeah, she was afraid
you were sore at me,

so she had me rush
the growler.

Oh, set it
down on the table.

Get some glasses,
honey.

Oh, I'm busy right now,
I'm feeding the baby.

Babies can wait.
Come on, have a drink.

I don't drink.

Of course
you drink beer,

especially on a hot day
like today.

No! Now get out,
both of you.

Get out, do you hear me?

Now, wait a minute.

Just goes
to show you.

You can't be neighborly
with people who don't
like to be neighborly.

It's just that I don't
like things to happen
to me suddenly, that's all.

I have to be prepared.

I don't like surprises.

Surprises make me nervous.

If you told me
to expect you, I...

Oh, never mind
that stuff.

Yeah.

And what's more,
it's like I told you, Marie.

There ain't no baby
here at all.

Oh, yes, there is.

MR. McGURK: Where?

In the bedroom.

Let's see him.

Let's see
your little Toby.

Don't go in there!

Mac, she means it.

Say, what's the matter
with you?

Come on, let's get.

Just take your beer
and let's just get, Mac.

What I
wanna know is,

how come nobody's never
laid eyes on that kid

since you've come here?

That's not true.
Mr. Birch has seen him.

What seems
to be the trouble?

You've seen her Toby boy,
have you, Mr. Birch?

Yes, I've seen him.

Well, why didn't
you tell us, or Mrs. Foster,
or somebody?

Because I don't believe
it's any of your business.

Oh, just ain't
friendly at all,

ain't neighborly at all.

Come on, Marie.

Well, thank heavens
it's going to rain at last.

Did you
hear that?

That was
certainly thunder.

Oh, I don't know
how people can stand it

in the city
day after day.

The heat and the noise,
it's enough to drive one...

What's the matter,
Albert?

Why did you
make me lie?

Lie?

Yes, about Toby.

Well, you didn't have to.
You could have told them.

Well, you knew I wouldn't.
I never saw him, either.

Well, I can't stand here

discussing the matter
with you now, Albert.

Oh, that blessed,
blessed thunder.

Oh, now let it rain.

Let it rain and cool off
all the fevers

and drown out
all the questions

on people's lips
and in people's eyes.

Why do you look at me
like that, Albert?

No, don't turn away.

Answer me.

I don't understand
you, Edwina.

You don't understand me.

Well, that's a fine thing
for you to say to me.

You broke my spirit
and twisted my life

and now you stand here
and say,

"I don't
understand you, Edwina. "

When you step
on a caterpillar,

do you look down and say,
"I don't understand you"?

That's what you did
to me, Albert.

You stepped on me
and turned away.

And years later,
I came crawling back to you

through an advertisement
in the newspaper.

Oh, I know
what you think of me.

You despise me!
And I don't blame you!

What's the matter
with you, Edwina?

I'm lonely!

I've been lonely
for years waiting, waiting.

I couldn't get over you.

Oh, I tried.
I did try at first.

I gave parties.

I went to
the band concert.

I even traveled a little.

But I grew lonelier
every time I came home

and I realized
you weren't coming back.

Everybody seemed
to be moving

further and further
away from me.

And they couldn't reach me,
and I couldn't reach them.

I was alone.

Do you know
what that is,

where one's been
promised so much?

We were going to be
a happy family

like other families
in Canandaigua

with children growing up.

You promised me.

I don't know
what to say.

I dreamed of children.

I dreamed of the family
you promised me.

A noisy, laughing family.

And instead,
I was utterly alone.

And then
a miracle happened.

Toby was given to me.

Oh, yes, it was death
who brought him to me

and placed him
in my arms.

Somebody had to die first,

but Toby was sent
to me at last,

and I wasn't alone anymore.

And you never
will be again.

I swear to you.

Oh, Albert,
your present.

I'd forgotten
all about it.

It's not real,

but it certainly
looks real, doesn't it?

It's something to pin
onto a dress or a hat.

A rose.
Thank you, Albert.

I love you more than ever.
You've got to believe me.

And I'm sorry
for whatever I've done.

Oh, thank you, Albert.

I like
to hear that said.

Don't touch me.
Don't dare come near me!

You and your fake roses.

False! False!

Do you think
I could ever trust you?

You? You don't wish me well.

Oh, I can see it now.
I can see it.

It's not true.

You wish
I'd never come here.

Well, I'll take
my child and I'll go
and that will be that.

And one day, perhaps,

you'll put an advertisement
in the newspaper

looking for me.

And I won't
answer you, Albert.

No, I won't answer!

And you'll suffer
as I've suffered.

What is it?

Oh, dear.

The gentlemen
have arrived

and I'm scarcely
ready to receive them.

Hello,
Miss Freel.

I'll be ready
in a moment.

Ben, Amos,

I'm so glad
you found me.

I don't like it
in this place.

I've been lonelier
than ever here.

We've come to take
you back, Miss Freel.

I'll get my hat.

She isn't well?

She's been
in the county asylum
for many years now.

In an institution?

Outside Canandaigua.

She likes it there.

We were surprised
she even wanted to escape.

Escape?

Especially at this time
of year,

with the roses blooming
all over the place.

She always said
it reminded her of home.

Bye.

You ready,
Miss Freel?

Thank you
for everything, Albert.

It's been so nice
to see you again.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Edwina.

I'm leaving Toby
in your hands now.

I know you'll take
good care of him.

But do write me
from time to time

and let me know
how he's getting along.

I will, Edwina.

One day soon,
I shall be back, I'm sure.

That's true, isn't it?

Toby.

Edwina...

"When shall we three
meet again

"In thunder, lightning,
or in rain?

"When the hurly-burly's done,

"when the battle's
lost and won.

"That will be
ere the set of sun. "

Well, in other words,
next week.

Good night, coz.