02x07 - Alibi Me

[bunniefuu]

Good evening.

Some of our late viewers
tuning in.

One of the commonest questions

that people ask of a producer
of mystery motion pictures is,

"Which is written first,
the words or the music?"

In our case,
the background music
always comes first.

After it is written,

we sprinkle the score
liberally with sound effects,

and then hire an author
to write appropriate scenes

to accompany the music,

quiet scenes to coincide
with the somber passages,

and scenes of v*olence
to synchronize

with the noisier sections.

Finally, we garnish
this potpourri with a title

composed of from
one to four words,

selected because they are
eye-catching and provocative.

And we arrange them
in a manner designed

to titillate and confuse.

Let me show you
what one of our stories
sounds like

before it is written.

How fortissimo can you get?

I trust this has
been educational.

I deliberately
cut that number short

because it was the music
for tonight's story,

"Alibi Me,"

and I didn't want you
to know how it comes out.

If you haven't
already guessed,

here is the way it begins.

No knock on the door?

No "Can I come in please?"

Just no class.

I want a showdown!

Now hold it down.

This ain't no candy store.

You're in a high-class office.

Upstairs is a music professor,

and downstairs,
some legitimate businessmen.

So keep it down!

You got some
explaining to do, Lucky.

Me, I don't explain nothing.

It's tough enough
to hustle a buck

without you
always interfering.

Here, sit down.

Have yourself a nice
salami sandwich.

No? You mind if
I go on eating?

Look what you made me do.

That's bad luck.

Boy, I sure hate
to spill salt.

Look, I've just come
from Pitkin Avenue.

There ain't a store
down there that'll handle
my machines no more.

"All our pinball machines
we take from Lucky," they say.

They say correct.

But from Pitkin Avenue
to Wadsworth is my territory.

I built up the percentages
there, you know that.

When Blackie Hersch
got bumped off,
he said I should take over.

You built it up
real nice for me.

And I appreciate it.

Now put the rod away.

You look goofy
holding a rod on me.

You ain't gonna use it,
so put it away.

Lucky, I'm warning you...

Georgie, I can't k*ll you
and you can't k*ll me,

and we know why.

Here.

Get a gander of that face
on the front page.

Go on, look at it.

Imagine a cop like Larkin
getting to be a lieutenant.

Larkin's sure come up
in the world.

Larkin ain't got nothing
to do with us.

Don't be a fool.

Larkin's got everything
to do with us.

He's sort of
an insurance policy
between you and me.

What do you mean?

You got a bad memory.

Even when we
were kids, Georgie,

you hated me and I hated you.

And every cop
in the neighborhood knew it,

especially Larkin.

Don't ever forget
what Larkin told us.

"If one of you punks
gets knocked off,

"the one that's left alive
had better have a good alibi. "

That's why I say,
put the g*n away.

You ain't gonna need it.

I ain't letting you
take away my business.

Hersch gave me that concession
and I need the dough.

You need dough?

Go work a cheap con game
on East Broadway.

Oh, if you should happen
to get hungry,

here's a half a buck.

You can drop in any place
and get yourself
a nice salami sandwich.

And keep the change.

Lucky, you better
stop ragging me.

Go away, will you please?

I got a million things
on my mind.

Well, it's almost : .

You know, at :

I got to report to Larkin
for my parole.

If you were
to squeeze that trigger,
I'd be missed terribly.

I ain't going to let you
make a sucker out of me.

I already have.

Just today,

I sent you the biggest
lollipop in town.

A present from me to you.

The biggest lollipop in town

for the town's biggest sucker.

"If ever one of you punks
gets knocked off,

"the one who's left alive
had better have a good alibi. "

Hey, Uncle Leo.

Eh?

You and me, we...

We've been through some pretty
rough things together, huh?

And a couple of times,
you needed my help
real bad, remember?

Georgie, if I live to be ,
I no gonna forget.

You know what I say
to the family?

I say, "Georgie, he can
have my right arm,
up to here. "

Any time.
You ask them.

Well, salute.

Well...

Uncle Leo, I...

I need your help
real bad now.

Oh, sure.

Only, I'm a little broke,
you know.

I had my gallstone
out last summer
and the business...

No, no, no, no, no.
It ain't money.

Come here.

What? What? What? What?
Sit down. Sit down.

Look, in case
anybody should ask,

you tell them I was here since
: this afternoon, okay?

: ? Why?

What's the difference why?
You do me this little
family favor, huh?

I don't know, Georgie,
you worry me.

You gonna do it or not?

Look, if I gonna alibi you,
I wanna know what for,
family or no family.

Don't make a production
out of it.

They probably
won't even ask you.

But if they do,
you just tell them
I was here since : , okay?

You're in trouble
with them hoodlums again.

Your friend Lucky
and the guy who they
bumped off, Blackie Hersch.

I told you, you run around
with them, you know
what you're gonna get.

Uncle Leo, you just got to
do me this favor. You got to!

Not on you life.
I ain't gonna alibi you.

Why not?

One guess.

His name is Larkin.

So you don't
forget a favor, huh?

Your right arm
up to here, huh?
Boy, some uncle.

Look, look, look,
you need money?

I gonna find money for you.
I don't know where,
but I find it.

You need food?
I feed you.

You need clothes?
The best flannel,
I get it for you.

But no alibi, Georgie.

Now, you excuse me,
I got customers.

Now get out of here,
you little punk.

Just a minute.

Well, for Pete's sake,
look what the cat
drug in.

Goldie, I missed you
so much.

It's been a long time, kid.

Such a long time.

I shouldn't touch you.

I shouldn't even
talk to you.

It's been two months.

You wanna know why?

Because you begin to mean
too much to me, kid.

"Don't see her no more,"
I says to myself.

"Just stay away from her.

"She'll wear off. "

You said that, honest?

You mean more to me now
than ever, Goldie.

I couldn't stay away
no longer. That's why
I had to come back.

Oh, Georgie, don't ever
stay away again.

No matter what the reason,
don't ever stay away from me.

I'm back now for good.

Do you mean that? Honest?

Take a look at
my face and see.

I mean it.
Take a good look.

Oh, Georgie.
See?

You satisfied?

Oh Georgie,

it's just been
awful without you.

Not feeling like going out
or seeing anybody,

just sitting around
the apartment
and watching TV.

I thought
I'd go crazy.

Well, that's
all over now.

The good times
are back.

You know what
I feel like doing?

I feel like celebrating,
tonight.

Look, why don't you
get into your finest and we'll
go out stepping, huh?

We'll go... Dinner,
we'll go to a show,
we'll go dancing afterwards.

Huh? How does that
sound to you?

Oh, Georgie.

I've got a new number
I've been dying to wear.

Good.

Goldie.

Has...

Has anybody
been here today?

No. Not a soul.
I was all alone.

Feeling just awful
until you came.

Well, in case anybody
should ask you, you know,
not that they will,

but in case anybody does,
would you do me a favor?

Would you tell them
I was here with you all day?

Oh, Georgie,

I'll tell the world
you were here!

From the rooftops.

I don't care who knows it.
Georgie, I love you.

I just love you!

Love you!

Georgie,
please get comfortable.

Viola?

So you can't live
without me?

Goldie, now
listen to me, I...

You stayed away
because I was getting
to be a habit.

Isn't that the way
it went?

You want me?
You want to spend
the afternoon here?

Well, isn't that
just too touching for words.

I meant what
I said, honest...
You're a liar!

You're trying to sucker me
into giving yourself an alibi!

Will you please
stop yelling
and listen to me?

What I said is true,
I need you...

Sure you need me! Sure!

To give yourself
an alibi.

That's why you came here.

Just so I'll say
that you were here with me.

Now, Goldie I...

You want to use me.

What have you been up to?

What have you done today
that makes you
need me like that?

Nothing.
I was out to see...

No, don't tell me.
I don't care!

I don't care
what you've done.

I don't care
what you've done

and I don't care
what's done to you.

An arrest, jail,
the electric chair,
I don't care!

You get no alibi from me,
Mr. Wise Guy.

Now get out of here!

Georgie. Good to see you.

Hiya, Timmy.

Sorry I didn't have a chance
to get you some flowers
or some candy.

How you doing?

Pull up a chair.

How you feeling,
for real, Tim?

Not bad.

Doctor says
it was a miracle.

How are things with you?

I'll level
with you, Timmy.

I come up by the stairs.
I didn't want no one
to see me.

Yeah?

In a spot, Georgie?

Need a favor?

You've come
to the right man.

Favors have been my business
for the past years.

Oh, some fellows call it
ward heeling.

With me, it's a business.

I...

I need an alibi
for the afternoon.

Since : , Timmy.

You got it.

I've got this private room.
No one comes here.

Nurses and orderlies,
they don't come
unless I give a yell.

I can have visitors
any time I want.

No one's been here
all afternoon.

Not even my wife.

I'll never forget you
for this, Tim.

You'll pay me back
some day.

You look better already.

When you walked in,
I was going to let you
have the bed.

Yeah. Yeah.

So I've been here
since : , huh?

We...

We played gin
all afternoon, okay?

Sure. Okay.

Oh, look,
I'll get the nurse in
so she can see you,

and you take
the elevator down.

And, oh,

ask some dumb questions
so she'll remember you.

I'll ring for her now.

There's some cards
in the drawer over there.

Deal a hand out on the bed.

Sure.

Tim!

Georgie!
It's the ticker, Georgie.

You want something, Timmy?

Water.

Here...

Tim?

Oh, don't die now, Timmy!
Timmy, you can't die now!
Come on, Timmy! Please!

Don't die now.
You can't die now.
Timmy, come on, please!

Say something to me, Tim.

Hello, Mrs. Salvatore.

Hello.

Hey, let me do that.
Give me that hammer,
Mrs. Salvatore.

It ain't right
a nice woman like you
should be doing this.

Oh, thanks, Georgie.
I'm gonna brain
that Casey kid,

if he keeps tearing
this linoleum.

I ain't got money to spend
buying a new linoleum.

Sure, sure.
I don't blame you.

Did you just come in?

Yeah. Yeah, I've just come in,
but in case anybody asks,

especially Larkin,

you tell them I've been
in my room all day, huh?

Larkin? Lieutenant Larkin?
The cop?

Yeah, yeah,
Larkin, the cop.

Oh, I couldn't
do that Georgie.

I wouldn't lie to that cop.
Don't count on it.

I do count on it, though.
And you'll do it, too.

Don't shake your head.
I say you'll do it.

You tell Larkin
I've been in my room
all day, understand?

Oh, no.

You don't tell him
I'm in all day,

and I'll tell him
about your daughter, Maria.

I don't have any idea
what you mean.

Is that a fact?

No idea at all, huh?

No.

Wait!

How did you know, Georgie?
Tell me, how did you find out?

What difference does it make?

I keep my eyes and ears open,
that's how I found out.

Now are you going
to alibi me?

I don't want any trouble.

I'm honest and I work hard
to keep my kids honest.

Yeah, sure you keep
your kids honest.

So honest that your daughter
yanks a fur coat right out
of a department store, huh?

I made her bring it back.

I marched her into
the store myself.

We gave it back
to the manager...

Sure, sure, I know.

But a crime's a crime,

whether the store
makes trouble or not.

Georgie, you couldn't!

Why, she's only .

Her whole life
would be ruined.

She would...

Oh, now, come on,
Mrs. Salvatore,
what's to cry?

Am I gonna tell on Maria?
No, of course not.

Oh, please don't
tell anyone. Please!

I'll keep my mouth shut,
just like you want.

And you open your mouth
just like I want
and everything will be fine.

Now, if Larkin asks you,
I was in my room all day.
Agreed?

And you won't
tell him about Maria?

I won't say a word.

I swear.
Look, I'll take an oath.

All right, Georgie.
All right!

But not a word
about Maria.

My memory is terrible,
just so long as yours is good.

Yeah?

Open up.
It's me, Larkin.

Well, well,
what a surprise.

I'll bet.

And to what do I owe
this great pleasure?

To your friend, Lucky.

Oh?

Anything happen to Lucky?
He's been...

He's been made dead.

No kidding?

Well, what do you know?

Yeah. Tough.

And you've come to give me
your shoulder to cry on, huh?

You're not surprised?

Look, I'm not
the only guy in the world
who hated Lucky.

But when you find out
who did it, let me know.

I'll contribute a sawbuck
to his defense.

Save your money, Georgie.
You might need it.

Yeah? How come?

Remember I told you,

if ever one of you punks
gets knocked off,

the one who's left alive
better have a good alibi?

Yeah, the words ring a bell.

Come on, give, Georgie.
Where were you today?

I was nowhere.

Is that a fact?

Yeah, that's a fact.

I was right here,
alone in my room all day.

Can you prove that?

It ain't easy to prove
you've been alone
somewhere all day.

No?

No, besides,
I didn't see anybody...

Oh, yeah,

I saw my landlady,
Mrs. Salvatore.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Mrs. Salvatore?
Hey, Mrs. Salvatore?

What is it?

Come on in here,
will you?

All right.

Come on. Come on.

This is my landlady,
Mrs. Salvatore.
Lieutenant Larkin.

Yeah, yeah. Hello.

Hello.

Sit down, Mrs. Salvatore.
You must be tired.

I won't keep you long.

Were you in all day?

Yeah, the whole day.

Was Georgie in
all day, too?

Georgie? This Georgie?

How many Georgies
have you got in the place?

Yeah. He was in.

Are you positive?

I'm positive.
Sure, I'm positive.

What makes you so positive?

What makes me so positive?

I cleaned the room.
That's what makes me
so positive.

And, I pressed a suit
for him later.

That's what
makes me so positive.

Oh, and when I was
cleaning the hall,

the door was open
and I saw him.

And when I was downstairs,

he yelled to me
a couple of times.

Will you swear to this
in a court of law?

I'll swear.

All right. Thank you.
You can go.

Well, that's it then, Georgie.

Meaning?

Meaning, your alibi smells
as far as I'm concerned.

But for the record,
it lets you off the hook.

Yeah?
A Mr. George Minelli.

You George Minelli?
Yeah.

Got a package for you.
Rapid Delivery Service.
Just sign there.

Who's it from?

Well, a Mr. Moore.
Lucky Moore.

Open it, Georgie.
This I want to see.

Well, what do you know!
A lollipop.

Gee, I've never seen
such a big one.

So you've never seen
such a big lollipop before.
Now get out of here.

What are you
waiting around here for?

What do you think
he's waiting for?
Tip the kid.

What do you mean,
"Tip the kid"? What do you
think I am, the mint?

Okay, cheapskate.

Ain't it always the way?

Five times I come
up and down them stairs,

twice this morning
and three times
this afternoon.

Not even a nickel tip.

Wait a minute!

Come here, kid.

You say you were here
twice this morning

and three times
this afternoon?

Sure.

This guy wasn't even in.

Oh, I almost forgot.

There's a message
goes with the lollipop.

To the biggest sucker
in town.

Well, that was a surprise.

The p*stol shot Georgie used
to k*ll Lucky

wasn't in the original score.

But that's what happens
when the musician

who plays the revolver
is allowed to improvise.

Naturally, Georgie was given
life imprisonment,

while the offending musician
got off with a -year
sentence.

Next time, we plan
to bring you more music
and sound effects

and another story
to accompany them.

Good night.