02x16 - Nightmare in 4-D

[bunniefuu]

Good evening.

Tonight's play is entitled,
"Nightmare in -D."

It will be presented in only
two dimensions, however.

We could present it in -D.

In fact, we did in America,

but the viewers
kept getting involved

and during one of
the more violent scenes,
we lost half our audience.

We wouldn't want that
to happen here.

In this case, -D indicates
the number of an apartment.

And "Nightmare in -D"
concerns the goings-on
in that apartment.

The goings-on will begin
going on in just a moment.

Oh, darn!

Hold it! Hold it!

I got it.
All right. All right.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Parker.

You're a lifesaver.
Give me that one.

No, no,
I can manage this one.

Oh, that's much
too heavy for you.

Well,
let me get the elevator.

No, no,
I'll get that, too.

I don't know how you do it.

Oh, it's nothing
for an old cliff dweller.

Say, Miss Elliott,

I haven't
seen you around lately.
Must be two weeks now.

Well, didn't I tell you?

I got my first break,
a Broadway musical.

No.
Yes.

We started rehearsals
last Monday.

That's wonderful.
Congratulations.

Well, I suppose you'll get to
be a big star now and forget
all about your old friends.

Well, I won't forget
about you, Mr. Parker.

You're about
the only friend I have.

Here,
I'll get the button.
I got that.

Well, you don't know
how hard it is being
alone in a big city.

Oh, go on.

I bet you have company
all the time.

You didn't buy all this
stuff just for yourself.
Champagne?

Oh, a friend of mine
is coming by this evening

to help me rehearse my song.

Uh-huh.

Hey, you know...

If I thought you'd go
to opening night,
I'd send you a ticket.

Well, you just try
to keep me away!
Of course, I'll come.

That's wonderful...
I'll take them in for you.

No, no, no, no.
Now, I can get them.

You think
you can handle them?

Mmm-hmm.
Well, all right.

There you are.
Thanks so much.

You're very welcome.

Bye.
Bye.

How are you, Mr. Parker?

Never felt better, Charlie.
How is everything
in your happy life, huh?

Oh, you know,
bottles and cans,
cans and bottles.

That's the way it goes.

That's the old fight, boy.

You going up?

Yeah, going up,
going down,
I don't care.

You're late.

I stopped to help a young lady
with her packages.

Well,
aren't we the boy scout.

Who was it?

Tenant in -D.

Oh, that one.

She's got every man
in the building
turning handsprings.

What did you expect me to do,

let the packages
fall all over the floor?

Well, I thought
you might stand on
your head for her, dear.

I was merely
being neighborly.

Your dinner will be ready
in a minute, lover-boy.

You know what would be fun
to have with dinner?

No, what?

Champagne.

Are you kidding?

I think there's some
cooking sherry left.

No, thanks.

You're safe now,
Miss Elliott.

But it was a good thing
I got here on time.

You and your dirty g*ng.

Well, you'll get me.

But, remember, there are still
nine b*ll*ts in this Luger

and I intend to take
a few of you with me.

What happened?

I think you took
a few of them with you.

Oh...

Oh,
I had a terrible nightmare.

You always do
when you read this stuff.

This one was terrible,
just terrible.

What time is it?

It's after midnight.

I think I'll read a little.

Not in here you won't.

I sat around all evening
and listened to you snore
and now I'm going to sleep.

Well, I'm not.

Maybe I can get a good movie
on the late show.

Keep the volume down
or you'll have Mrs. Bolton
pounding on the ceiling again.

All right.

All right, all right.
Don't wake up the whole house.

Oh, Miss Elliott.

Mr. Parker, I am awfully
sorry to bother you...

Well, I saw your light
on the fire escape.

Well, that's all right.
Is something wrong?

Yes. Something's happened
and I don't know what to do.

I was hoping...

Listen, could you
come down to my apartment?

You mean, right now?
It's : in the morning.

Can't it... Can't it
wait till tomorrow?

No,
tomorrow will be too late.

There's nobody else
I can turn to.

Nobody I can depend on.

Well, if it's an emergency.
You just give me a minute
to get dressed.

No, no, no, no, please.
There isn't time for that.

But if anybody saw me
going in your apartment,

: a. m. in the morning
dressed like this...

Mr. Parker, everybody knows
you're a perfect gentleman.

Please, I need your help.

Well, all right.

Well, I guess we really
ought to have some light.

Now, what seems
to be the trouble?

That.

Who's that?

Bill Neilson.

Oh, that piano player in -A.

Yes.

He was just helping me
rehearse my song
when it happened.

And I can't move him.

Well, let's pour a little
cold water on him.

He hasn't been drinking.

Then why is he lying there?

I think he's dead.

Dead!

He just passed out
or something.

He was shot.

You mean with a g*n?

From out there.

He was just pouring
his champagne

when somebody shot him
from right here.

See?

Miss Elliott, that's m*rder.

I know it is.

We'd better call
the police right away.

No, no, no!
You've got to help me
get him out of here.

You mean, carry him?

He's too heavy for me
to lift and you're strong.

Miss Elliott, we can't
go moving a dead body,

we'll get in trouble
with the police.

The police never
even have to know
that he was here.

Nobody knows
he was visiting me.

We could put him down
in the basement.

Miss Elliott, I can't
get involved in a m*rder.

I'm a married man.

If I did a thing like that
people would think we were...

What would people think of me
if he was found here?

My reputation would be ruined.

Now listen, Harry,
if this gets out,

they'll take me
out of the show.

And I already wrote home
and I told my family
all about it.

And now this.

Oh, please help me.

Well, maybe we could
drag him out in the hall.

It'll be so much
safer in the basement.

And nobody would ever know.

And I won't lose my part.

Oh, couldn't we just
see if we could lift him?

You grab his hands.

Now pull as hard as you can.

Here we go. Here we go.

Now, turn him.

Oh, gee.
Now hold him.

I am.
Hold him.

Now let him go.

I'll get the door.

Wait.

Okay, come on.

The rug's all covered
with blood.

I'll think about that later.

You can put him down now.

Put him down?

I will never
get him up again.

Where are the lights?

Over there.

Behind the trunk,
would that be a good place?

Any place.

Okay,
let's get out of here.

Okay. Wait.

What?

We ought to make it look
as if he's been robbed.

Then nobody would
ever suspect us.

What do you mean us?

Uh...

I'll get his wallet.
Oh, please don't...

Oh, come on.

Miss Elliott.

What are you doing?

Well, just a minute.
Well, I...

Here, you can have...
No, I don't want it.

I'm involved
enough in this...

Come on,
let's get out of here.

Oh, Harry,
I'm so grateful.

I don't know
how to thank you.

I just don't know
what I would have done
without you.

Hey, sleeping beauty.
Come on, wake up.

It's after : .

I didn't k*ll him!
I didn't k*ll him!

I only helped her
hide the body.

I hope you have it
well hidden.

It's down in the cellar.
Behind the trunks.

You had a double-feature
last night.

Oh. Oh!

Oh, Norma.

This wasn't a dream.

Somebody shot him
from the fire escape.

There was blood
all over the rug.

In Technicolor yet.

I'll get you some coffee.
Listen.

This really happened.

At : this morning,

I heard a knock at the door
and I went to the door
and Miss Elliott was there.

Do you mean she was
up here last night?

Yes. She came to the door.

It was an emergency.

So you went galloping off,
like Sir Galahad,
in your robe and slippers.

Well, I wanted to change
but there wasn't time.

I thought a pipe
had burst or something.

So you went down
to her apartment.

What could I do?

I didn't know
there was a body there.

A man?

That piano player
from -A. Neilson.

Somebody shot him here.

At : in the morning?
And nobody even heard
the shot?

Well, I had the TV
playing pretty loudly.

So she m*rder*d her boyfriend
and you helped her do it.

No. She didn't k*ll him.

The shot came
from the fire escape.

You believed that?
Well, of course,
I believed it.

Listen, Norma,
I'm an accessory to a m*rder.

I'll go to jail.

Well, don't give
yourself up just yet.

Don't you understand?

I carried the body
down to the cellar
and hid it.

I lost the sash
to my bathrobe

and I had to go
down there again
to get it.

Did you find it?

It's in the pocket
of my bathrobe.

You almost had me
believing it for a minute.

It was just another nightmare.

Oh, no. It wasn't.

Well, it isn't in the pocket.
It's through the loops.

I remember stuffing it
in the pocket.

Maybe you put it back.

I haven't touched your robe.
It was just another nightmare.

Well, it was awfully real.

Well, remember the time
you dreamed that somebody
broke into the apartment?

That was awfully real, too.

Yeah. It sure was.

You're not just saying this
to make me feel better?

You really think
it was a nightmare?

Why don't you go down there
and find out?

I don't want to go down there.

Oh, Harry.

Good morning.
Oh, hi.

Going up?
Yeah.

Don't think I've met you yet.

Harry Parker.

How do you do, Mr. Parker?
My name's Orsatti.

You just moved in?
Uh-huh.

I think you'll like it.
It's a nice apartment,
nice neighbors.

Plenty of storage space, too.
You could hide a body
down here.

Yes, you could,
if you wanted to,
I suppose.

I guess somebody wanted to.

We just found one over there.

A dead body?
Yeah.

Behind that trunk over there.

I'm investigating it.

You're a detective?

Lieutenant Orsatti,
didn't I tell you?

No, I don't think
you mentioned it.

Yeah. Fellow named Neilson.
Bill Neilson.

Do you know him?

Well, I've heard him
playing the piano and all.

Kind of a lover-boy,
we've been told.

Somebody shot him. Here.

Here, eh?

Way we figured it,

he was m*rder*d upstairs
and the body was brought
down here at night.

Probably took
two people to handle it.

Going up, Mr. Parker?

Oh, yes.

Just a few questions,
Mr. Parker.

Won't take long.

I dare say,
you two know each other.

Miss Elliott, Mr. Parker.

You live upstairs,
don't you?

Yes, I do.

So, this is the guy, huh?

Yes, Sergeant.

No, I'm not the guy.

You mean,
you don't live in -D?
No.

I do, but I certainly
didn't k*ll him.

Neilson was shot
between : and : .

Where were you
at that time?

I was upstairs
watching the late show.

You can ask my wife.
She knows I was there.

The way we figure it,
we got a jealousy angle here.

Neilson was romancing
Miss Elliott and...

He was only helping
me rehearse.

At : in the morning?

Yes.

Well, whatever it was,
somebody didn't like it
and shot Neilson.

We found the revolver
in the alley,

one b*llet fired.

Matches up.

Well, I didn't sh**t him.
I only carried him downstairs.

Oh, Harry.

That's very interesting,
Mr. Parker. Why?

For her.

I see.

No, you don't.

I scarcely know
Miss Elliott.

I have only carried
her packages a few times.

Now let me get this straight.

You mean you made yourself
an accessory to m*rder
for a girl you hardly know?

That's not exactly
the way it was.

I didn't think so.

Miss Elliott didn't k*ll him.
You don't seriously think
she did, do you?

He was shot
while in her apartment.

Anybody could have climbed
up that fire escape.

You've got a point there,
Mr. Parker.

And if she didn't k*ll him,
I'm not an accessory
to m*rder.

You moved the body.
That's tampering
with the evidence.

I guess
I didn't think of that.

If you don't mind
my saying so,

that was a pretty
stupid thing to do.

And the DA is going to want
to talk to you about that.

You can go now.

Miss Elliott, did you
get a look at the person
who fired that shot?

I told you, no.

I didn't even know
what had happened at first.

Then when I finally
got over to the window,

there was no sign of anybody.

And you've no idea
who it might be?

No! And I've got
to get to rehearsal.

Harry,
what are you doing back?
Why aren't you at the office?

They found Neilson's body.

Did you hear what I said?
They found the body.

I know. They've already
talked to me about it.

I told them everything.

I told them I...
I took the body down
to the cellar and hid it.

What did they say?

I may be charged with
tampering with evidence.

It's all that girl's fault.

The shot came
from the fire escape.

How do they know?
It could have been
fired from inside

and the window broken later.

How did you know
the window
had been broken?

That's probably the police.

Shall I let them in?

What else can you do?

Mrs. Parker, I'm afraid
you haven't told me the truth.

You said,
you scarcely knew Neilson.

Now we find out
that you were in the habit

of seeing him regularly while
your husband was at work.

Norma, you weren't...

It wasn't what you think.

He was nice to me.

At least he didn't
seem to find me dull.

You don't even notice
what I'm wearing anymore.

Seems Miss Elliott moved in
and kind of busted things up
between you and Neilson.

Isn't that what happened?

I can't believe it.

I can't believe you were...

I wasn't.

It was just
because I was lonely.

You haven't paid
any attention to me

since that blonde moved in.

Oh, I didn't k*ll Neilson.

I don't know
anything about it!

Somebody must have come up
the fire escape and shot him.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Parker,
but that's impossible.

The k*ller couldn't have
come up the fire escape

because the retractable ladder
hasn't been lowered.

You know, there's only one way
he or she could have gotten
out there

and that's through
the window of your apartment.

Or the apartment upstairs.

Mrs. Bolton's apartment?

She's years old
and has arthritis.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Parker.

I'm going to have to take you
downtown for questioning.

Don't say anything more,
Norma.

I'll get you
the best lawyer I can.

No matter what you've done,
you're still my wife.

That's mighty decent of you,
Mr. Parker.

But you better get
that lawyer for yourself.

I'm arresting you
for the m*rder
of William Neilson!

Me?
You.

You had the same motive
and the same opportunity.

You were jealous of Neilson
because you had a yen

for Miss Elliott
and he beat you out.

There was never anything
between us.

Because he got there first.
And you had a wife.

So you k*lled Neilson
and almost got your wife
arrested for it.

That's ridiculous.

You thought
you'd have a clear field.

You're trying to frame me.

I was sitting right in this
chair watching television.
I fell asleep.

She could have
slipped past me.

Harry.

She could have.

But she didn't.

She was in the bedroom.

Mrs. Bolton had her
on the phone complaining
about the TV being too loud.

The m*rder was committed
while they were talking.

Any other ideas,
Mr. Parker?

I didn't think so.

You can call
your lawyer now
if you like.

That was amusing.

Although I think Norma
was a poor sport about it all.

And now the time has come
for us to part.

But, please.

No long goodbyes.

Don't even look back.

I want to remember you
as you were.

So, until next time,

good night.