03x05 - Silent Witness

[bunniefuu]

Good evening,
fellow inmates.

I suppose you're wondering
why I'm here.

I was picked up by an agent
from the Federal Bureau...

The Bureau of Standards,
that is.

He claims I was lying
about my weight.

The vertical stripes
were my tailor's idea.

They not only
give me that slim look,

they also make it impossible
for the guards to tell

where the bars leave off
and I begin.

I have a different uniform
for each day.

And on each one,
the stripes are closer together.

In days I expect
to disappear completely.

As for tonight's story,

it is a somber
little jape entitled

"Silent Witness."

It will occupy this space
in just a moment.

"My conscience hath
a thousand several tongues.

"And every tongue
brings in a several tale.

"And every tale
condemns me for a villain.

"Perjury. Perjury
in the highest degree.

"m*rder. Stern m*rder
in the direst degree.

"All several sins,
all used in each degree.

"Thronged to the bar
crying all guilty!

"Guilty!

"I shall despair.

"There is no creature
loves me.

"And if I die,
no soul shall pity me.

"Nay. Wherefore should they,

"since that I myself
find in myself

"no pity to myself."

Class dismissed.

Professor Mason,

this line, "My conscience hath
a thousand several tongues,"

is that Freudian?

You're not getting a guilt
complex, are you, darling?

I think one of us has to start
developing a conscience.

At this late date?

It's never too late.

Oh, yes, it is, darling.

I'll tell you
about it tonight.

I'm sorry, I can't...
Tonight.

Absolutely...

It's always so clear when
you explain it, Professor.

Well, perhaps if you were to work
on it at home, Miss Powell...

I certainly will.

In fact, I'm going to spend
all this evening just on your course.

Claudia, I can't see you
tonight.

I have to take my wife
to a dinner party.

Don't get tricky, dear.

Tonight's your wife's
gym class.

The usual place?

No, it's out of the question.

I'm not going to
see you again, anywhere.

Nancy.

Yes, dear?

How would you like to go
for a drive, see a movie?

Fine. When?

Now. Tonight.

What's come over you?

I don't know. I just
felt like getting out.

Well, it's a perfectly normal,
middle-class impulse.

Is there anything
wrong in that?

No. But I've never known
you to have impulses,

middle-class
or any other kind.

You forgot normal.

I am normal, you know.
I'm just as normal as anybody else.

Oh, look.

I know this is your gym night,
but couldn't you miss it just once?

I mean, it isn't
that important, is it?

Oh, yes, it is.

I've got to control my figure

if I'm gonna compete with
all the jail bait in your classes.

That isn't very funny.

I know.

And every year
it gets less funny!

Bob, if you're restless,
why don't you call Tim

and the two of you
go bowling?

That's an idea. Maybe I will.

See if he can make it.

If not, I'll go
to a movie with you.

Professor Mason speaking.

There's been
a change of plans, darling.

I won't be
at the usual place.

Well, that's too bad.

I know the course is difficult.

I was afraid
you wouldn't show up.

So I took a last-minute
baby-sitting job at the Davidsons'.

In fact, I can see you
right now.

Come on over as soon as
Nancy leaves.

No. No. That's quite
out of the question.

Then I'll come over there.

Don't think I won't,
darling.

Very well,
Miss McCaffrey.

Anytime, yes. Good night.

Who was that?

Oh, one of my students. She is
having a hard time with Richard III.

Well, you see to it he makes an honest
woman of her. I've got to fly.

Happy bowling, dear.

This is absolutely insane.

You're like
an avalanche, Bob.

It takes a lot
to get you moving.

We've got to stop this,
Claudia.

You'll wake Linda.

Do you like babies,
darling?

I don't know. I...

Yes, I suppose so. I...

I never used to,
'til I started baby-sitting.

I find you can get used
to anything if you have to.

I've gotten quite
a lot of experience...

Claudia, you know
how dangerous this is.

Getting involved
with a student

is the worst thing
a professor can do.

Do you realize what would happen
if we were discovered?

That never bothered you
in the beginning.

I know. I know.

I must've been
out of my mind!

I never intended
for it to go this far.

I don't know how I could
have been so incredibly stupid.

Stupid?

Well, what I mean is we let
ourselves go off the deep end.

We've managed to
get away with it so far,

but it's only a matter of time
until we're found out.

I know. That's why
I wanted to talk to you.

We're going
to get married.

Oh, I expect it'll be
messy in the beginning.

Nancy may object to...
Have you lost your mind?

I think perhaps
in Nevada or maybe Mexico...

Stop it!

Stop it! I'm not leaving
Nancy for you or for anybody else.

She's my wife!

A divorce...

I'd have to resign
from the faculty!

My reputation
would be ruined!

At the moment I'm thinking
about my reputation.

You're going to marry me, Bob.

Oh, no, no!

It's utterly
out of the question.

I'll give you
all the money you need.

I don't have much
but I'll borrow it.

Don't talk to me like that!

Listen, I've told you
how it's going to be

and you might as well
get used to the idea.

Because if I have to,
I'll smear you, Bob.

Then you won't have
to worry about anything.

Nancy or your job or
your wonderful reputation.

I'll ruin you forever.

You'll ruin me forever?

Oh, Claudia.

You wouldn't do that,
would you?

Ruin me forever.

You'll ruin me forever?

Professor Mason?

Yes.

I'm Sergeant Waggoner.

Oh. Yes.
I've been expecting you.

Sorry to disturb you, Professor,
but she was one of your students

and I'm talking
to all the teachers.

Now, if you'll be
so good as to

tell us all you know about her,
her background,

reputation,
the men in her life.

You know what I mean.

She...

She was very pretty.

Not much of a student really.

She...

I guess it doesn't matter.

There'd always be someone
to make it easy for her.

Kind of wild, eh?

I understand there was
a lot of these college boys

hanging around her, Professor.

The trouble is, this place
is full of college boys,

if you know what I mean.

Yes.

I got to start
weeding them out.

You think Claudia was k*lled
by one of the students?

How else can you figure?

Nobody broke into the house,
she must've opened the door.

Had to be somebody she knew.

But that doesn't necessarily mean
it was someone here at the college.

We'll turn up all her friends
before we're finished.

Now what about these
college boys, Professor?

Oh, I...

I don't think there
was anyone in particular.

She was popular
with all of them.

You didn't happen to glance out
your window last night, did you?

Huh?

If you would, you would've noticed
that your window and the Davidsons'

window are in the same line.

Of course, they probably
had the shades pulled.

I didn't even notice that.

I'm sorry.
I'm not being very much help.

I don't seem to be
able to think very clearly.

Well, only hours ago, Claudia
was sitting right over there.

That's the last time I saw her.

I realize this is
rough on you, Professor.

But if you think of something later,
I'd certainly appreciate a call.

Oh, sure. I'd be glad to.

But I'm afraid I didn't see
anything unusual.

Murders are seldom committed
in front of witnesses.

This one was.

Oh, yes,
we've got an eyewitness.

But so far
she refuses to testify.

The Davidsons' baby,
Professor.

She must've
seen the whole thing.

If only she could talk.

Yes.

No.

Bob just came in.
I'll talk to you later.

The phone has been ringing
all day. Here, let me take those.

Honestly,
the morbidity of people.

Bob, you look simply ghastly.

Sit down and I'll make
you a drink.

You must have had
a pretty dreadful day.

I had a detective here
for an hour.

I suppose the police
were in to see you?

They were around talking to
everybody who knew the girl.

I gather a lot of people
knew her. Men, that is.

Why do you say that?

She was that kind of a girl,
wasn't she?

I found her no different than any of
the other girls in any of my classes.

Now really, Bob, none of the other
girls got themselves m*rder*d.

She must've been different.

Tell me. What was she
really like?

C-average student.

Oh, for heaven sakes!

Somebody could
set off an atom b*mb

and if it didn't
demolish your ivory tower,

you wouldn't even notice it.

The one I feel sorry for
is Linda.

Who?
The Davidson baby.

An experience like this

could have a very serious
psychological affect on her.

That's ridiculous. She's too young
to be aware of anything.

I can see you don't know
much about babies, Professor.

The age of consciousness
begins around the first year.

Well, there have been
cases of babies

talking about what they've seen
after they learn to talk.

How old is Linda?
Fourteen months.

She'll be talking before
much longer.

Here, darling.

Professor.
Good morning.

How are you,
Mrs. Davidson?

I'm a complete frazzle.
I don't mind telling you.

I haven't had an hour's sleep
since that dreadful thing happened.

I can understand why.

I was telling my husband
last night,

telephoned him, you know,
all the way to Germany.

I told him to come home
right away.

But you know how the Army is.

He's due to come back to the States
in a month and not one day sooner.

I told him not to be surprised if
I'm a complete nervous wreck

when he gets here.

You'd think the police
would give us protection.

Why, that fiend might
come back and k*ll me next.

I don't think you have
anything to worry about.

How's the baby?

Frankly, I'm worried.

She's been acting strangely.

Oh?

You never know what damage
a thing like this can do to a child.

Subconsciously, that is.

Why, it might not
show up until years later.

Oh, baby.

Now, don't you cry.

It's only Professor Mason,
our next door neighbor.

Oh, that's a shameful way to
behave with the nice professor.

Shame on you.

Bob?
You're awfully late.

You know I wanted
to have an early dinner.

Bob? Didn't you hear me?

Yes. This is your gym night.

Well, you run along.
I'll find something to eat.

I set the table
in the kitchen.

There's a casserole in the oven
and the coffee's all ready.

That's fine. Thank you.

Aren't you feeling well, dear?

You haven't looked yourself
in weeks.

No, just a little tired.
I've been reading too much, I guess.

You've been working too hard
and you don't get enough exercise.

Why don't you go
to the men's gym tonight

and play some badminton?

No, I think
I'll go to bed early.

I didn't get much sleep with
that baby crying all night.

I know. Mrs. Davidson said she
was up with her half the night.

What's wrong with her?
She's teething.

Oh!

She's

growing up pretty fast.

She'll be months next week.
Her daddy won't even know her.

Mrs. Davidson is expecting
him back in a few days.

Has she learned...

I mean, I suppose
she's started to talk.

Who, the baby
or Mrs. Davidson?

You have a good dinner
and get some rest. Bye.

Bye.

Here, here, now,
sweetheart.

You'll feel much better
out here. It's nice and cool.

Now then,
stop fussing and go to sleep.

Yes, sleep, baby.

Mommy will be right inside.

I'm coming, Linda.

Yes?

Sorry to disturb you,
Professor. Sergeant Waggoner.

Oh, yes, Sergeant.
Is there anything wrong?

You mind if we talk inside?

Were you home all evening,
Professor?

Yes. I was asleep.

Then you didn't hear
the ruckus next door?

I don't know
what you mean.

Mrs. Davidson
reported a prowler.

She thinks it's the m*rder*r
of the Powell girl

returning to the scene
of the crime.

Why does she think that?

Well, she doesn't make much sense.
She's pretty hysterical.

Oh, there was a prowler,
all right.

How do you know?

Found his tracks
in the backyard.

Looks like he took off
over your hedge, Professor.

You didn't hear anything, eh?

Professor, you didn't hear anything, eh?

No, I was asleep.

Well, personally, I don't buy
the idea it was the m*rder*r anyway.

No reason for him
to come back as I can see.

No, the person who did it
is sitting tight, waiting,

hoping that
we'll walk around him.

Making any progress?

Not for publication. We're still
sifting out those college boys.

Well, sorry I woke you up, Professor,
but we have to check out these things.

We're assigning a police woman to
Mrs. Davidson until her husband gets in.

For the baby, mostly.

The baby?

Yeah, sure. She was sleeping
on the back porch.

It was her screaming that
frightened the prowler away.

If this keeps up, I'm gonna
have to have a talk with that kid.

Good night, Professor.

Good morning, Mr. Mason.

Good morning.

Isn't she a darling?

And quite bright for her age.

You know, Mrs. Davidson told me
she said her first word this morning.

What did she say?
Dada.

Oh, once they start talking
you can't keep them quiet.

I raised two of my own.
I know.

Oh, that reminds me,

I've got to make
a phone call home.

I want to make sure my daughter
puts the roast in the oven.

Would you mind watching
the baby a second?

No.

Class dismissed.

Professor Mason.

Would you please explain
this passage to me?

No. I never give special
help to one of my students.

Oh, hello, Professor.

Anything I can do?

I k*lled Claudia Powell.

Darling. How did
you get here so soon?

I didn't expect you till
Monday.

I hitched a ride
on an Army plane.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

We'd better get inside before
we shock the whole neighborhood.

How's the baby?
She's learning to talk.

It's the cutest thing...

No. No...
No, no, I insist.

She says
clearly as anything.

Dada, Mama...

Now she's learning
to say cookie.

Quickly, darling, here she is.

Look, Linda, baby,
look who's here. It's your daddy!

Hello, darling.

What kind of a welcome is that?
What's wrong with her?

Nothing, silly.

It just takes a little time
for her to get used to you.

She never sees anything
but women.

Every time a man comes near her,
she kicks up an awful row.

Oh, it's nothing personal, dear.

She does it with every man.

Look, she stopped already.

Well, you can't win them all.

I understand that Don Mason
was condemned to a cell

very much like this one.

And now, Daddies and Mommies,

I think the time has come
to lam out of here.

Suppose you take this
opportunity to escape,

until next time, of course.