08x11 - Ride the Nightmare

[bunniefuu]

good evening ladies and gentlemen i suppose
you're wondering what i'm doing here

not much actually so far i've spent most of my
time trying to get out passersby are not being

very helpful they seem to think i'm an errant
actor from the theater of the absurd actually

i was answering a real estate advertisement small
compact residence on thoroughfare close to schools

shops freeways plenty of transportation running
water and that serves to remind me that tonight's

play is called ride the nightmare and speaking
of nightmares here is our first commercial

but i got a wife that's got a
lot of money and that makes sense

hello

uh who's calling please

just a moment please

it's for you oh who is it i don't know maybe
it's one of my old girlfriends i doubt it

oh you don't think i have any huh you know one
of these days you're gonna learn to appreciate me

hello you've made a mistake my name is martin

look i said you made a mistake my name is martin

what what is it

grace what is it

he said he was gonna k*ll me

what

but that doesn't make sense what did he say

and he was coming here and he was gonna k*ll me

oh who was it i don't know

well chris that just doesn't make any sense

maybe we should call the police i know
that's probably just a some kind of crank

pulling what do you think is a funny kind of joke
or something it's a pretty weird kind of joke

now you just can't tell about people
like that i'm gonna call the police honey

all right if it'll make you feel better i'll
call her get me a brandy would you would you uh

give me the police station will you send a patrol
car to my house right away i've been threatened

that's right man called up on the phone
said he was coming over here to k*ll me

just now

christopher martin 1204 13th street

that's right yes thank you

what did they say they'll come
when as soon as they can helen

chris what if he was calling from johnson's
drugstore but sweetheart take it easy i'm

sure it's just what you said it's probably a
cray lock the kitchen door you hear me like

it

get the lights pull the blinds

get the hall light close the
bedroom windows do like i tell you

check the kitchen door yes chris shouldn't we

leave we could go to bilstein
no he might already be outside

you stay here

i thought i told you to stand up

get down

hold it

turn on the light

all right

huh you did all right for yourself she's a winner

i found you didn't i phillips you're
making a mistake can't you see he's

not the man you're after our name is martin
martin phil this is the name i know i'm by

you thought you could change your name we
wouldn't find you huh that's right baby

we for a while there i thought you did get
away and i saw that picture of you in that

magazine you know the one picture of you
in that bowling king that won the state

championship and i thought to myself here's
a picture of my old friend chris your boy

i just gotta stop in and say hello you'd better
get out of here my husband is called the police

no you didn't do that did you

no you wouldn't do that would you
chrissy boy because if you called

the police they'd send you to jail and you
don't want to go to jail do you chrissy boy

you did call him didn't you chris

you mean you didn't tell her chris oh that wasn't
nice you should have told her about your wicked

past [ __ ] don't move oh you stuck me didn't
you baby well we'll make up for that won't we

yeah that's right lady i'm gonna
k*ll him just like i said i would

only i just like to hurt him a little more first

and i just thought of a way

should i call the police

why ask me

you think i enjoyed keeping it from you why did
you then didn't you think you could trust me

i was afraid to tell you

and i never thought i'd have to

i was sure they wouldn't find me and that
bowling picture had to be taken that's funny

the secret i've kept for almost 15 years ended
in the second highest sticking bowling team

it's so funny it's hilarious where
are you going call the police no

i don't want you to be arrested you're
willing to consider doing something else

what else can we do helen if that body wasn't
found nobody would ever know what happened

okay we could take that body up in the hills and
bury it look it's either that or prison there's

nothing in between i lived a decent life ever
since it happened i've done everything i could to

make up for it is everything we've had for seven
years gonna be thrown away just because of him

i love you

i had nothing to do with it

you hear me helen i had
nothing to do with the m*rder

it's bill don't worry i'm not gonna let him in

oh hello bill we are out of ice cubes mr martin
and my mother sent me over to borrow some oh sure

honey would you get bills from my story hey
helen hello hope i didn't wake you up huh oh

no i'm glad go ahead you know we uh we never go to
bed before midnight oh good chris good you uh have

a little party over there huh okay some party
my aunt decided to pass well uh how long she

gonna be here too long i don't know when she was
coming at all i'd have grabbed the first plan for

hawaii

can't you get them honey

ah hear me help her no bill that's alright i'll
do there she is i sure appreciate this helen

colder and my whole head's hard oh
helen i hope i didn't disturb you yeah

all right a million fly scoops helen
you're welcome yeah my aunt thanks you

my mother thanks you and i thank you and you
are welcome thank you good night good night

uh

i'll have to wait until they go to bed

helen i want to tell you something
it isn't necessary yes it is

i know that you think i never
told you about it because i was

uh afraid of going to prison that's
not true i was afraid for you

you were so young when we married

someone prepared for anything like
that that was seven years ago chris

i know it's just that i i
didn't know how to tell you

as time went by i began to think
that maybe i wouldn't have to

i was only 19 when it happened
i was working for a bank

picking up deposits from all the uh big stores in
the area this was albuquerque i was living with uh

my father and my mother d*ed when i was born well
you know all that he and i didn't get along so

more to stay out of his way than anything else i

started hanging around some of
the bars that's why i met fred

later on i met steve adam those are the
other two escaped president with him we uh

hung around together we planned a robbery

we'd pick one of the bank's depositors
nice old guy who ran a jewelry store

and i was supposed to knock on the back door
like i always do when i made a collection and

they'd go inside get the money and i'd wait out
in the car as a lookout i was supposed to warn

them if something happened something happened all
right now the uh whole guy got to a alarm system

next thing i know i hired a police car coming

and i ran out of them at the time i i didn't
know that they'd k*ll the old man i just

just ran out of them because
i didn't have the guts

i drove them way as fast as i could
and uh when that car ran out of gas

i hitchhiked out of the state came to
los angeles changed my name met you

that's it

i'll call the police

if you think you can put him someplace
where they won't find him and do it

it's just that i can't hear the

chris put him out of our lives

oh

so

honey why don't you go back to
bed what about those other two men

what about what if they should come
here i want to buy the law they won't

wasn't the other one wanted by the law

he was drunk helen out of his mind

i've been awake all night

i've been trying to visualize
going on as your wife

i care chris

all the meaning seems to be gone out of it

it's not the same

it's just not the same

the same people helen are we

i don't even know who i am am i am i helen
martin am i helen phillips am i married at all

i just don't know anything chris least of all
a man i've been married to for seven years

honey

you want to leave

i don't know chris

hello hello chris remember me this is adam what
do you want to see you boy you want to meet us or

shall we drop by stay away from you i mean we'll
see you at monica on 12th street in 15 minutes

operator give me the police yes sir

honey i'm gonna take the bus
to the plant you can have a car

get in the car

it's been a long time chris you
look good i can't say i like that

what do you want a little charity that's all

brief money i know you won't
object now that you've k*lled fred

i wasn't sure you had till now ah

don't worry i'm not in mourning he was a
bungler he's too emotional like steve there

if i wasn't long to put a bottle through
your head by now for running out on us

how much well we'd like 50 or thousand
dollars but we know you haven't got that much

i gotta have some travel and
money so we'll settle for five

i haven't even got five all right four lucky
we don't leave you in a ditch somewhere bank's

open in one hour you get that money and meet
us 11 o'clock you know where latigo canyon is

yeah i'll bring the money there they'll find us

you could bring the police of course
but i don't think you will not you

indignation christopher we better make it
six six oh shut up i haven't got that much

you bring what you got then
better not be less than four

all right well that's splendid
that's really splendid keep in

mind if you fail you'll be receiving
a visit from me the rest of the police

either one of which won't be very pleasant i
said all right 11 o'clock christopher pull over

uh

what's up

so alan

helen

helen

oh

you have just witnessed the first half of our
play we now come to that part of the program which

one viewer says reminds him of a baloney
sandwich a station break between two slices of

hitchcock evening and welcome to the alfred
hitchcock hour again you have come back a

trifle early but no matter we have an excellent
little time k*ller which will keep you from

getting restless and now if you will be good
enough to give me a hand i shall get out of here

oh good morning mr martin oh well mrs
anthony i saw you standing there and i

wondered if your wife had run across that
canopy dish she said she was going to look

in the cupboard for it she thought she put it
there after the garden club meeting last week

i wouldn't fuss about it ordinarily but i'm
giving a little dinner party friday night and

i especially want that dish for canopies it's
priceless really my husband bought it in london

five no six months ago it's handmade and well
will it be all right if i stop by the house then

i'm sorry mrs anthony i i didn't hear what you
said i said do you think your wife would mind

if i dropped by the house and helped her look for
the dish oh well uh uh she's not at home right now

oh are you feeling ill mr martin oh no it's
it's just uh it's awful hot in here isn't it

well when will she be back well i don't know
if she's uh going to santa barbara oh well i

would like that dish on friday night or before
if possible you see it's absolutely surprising

look when i uh finish at the plant i'll
go home i'll pick up that dish i'll bring

it over to your place tonight
oh thank you i'd appreciate it

excuse me ma'am i'm in a terrible hurry would you
mind very much if i uh got in front of you i've

been waiting here longer than you have young
man and i'm in just as much of a hurry as you

are

thank you please i'd like it in small
bills please uh tens and twenties

yes sir and could you make it as fast as possible

hey where are you going oh one moment sir

that gentleman all right send him over

it's locked it's great

don't you sit down mr martin uh look i'm in
an awful hurry mr campbell please what is it

this withdrawal mr martin it would leave your
savings account with less than a hundred dollars

i know that well this note you signed note yes
it states that um a four thousand dollar loan

was extended to you last october just a minute
i'm conditioned that a similar amount in your

savings account service collateral so if you
withdraw four thousand dollars mr campbell

listen i've been doing business
with this bank for nine years now

during that time i've never failed to meet an
obligation my credit rating is without question

i think we can make the deal i need this
money now my mother's in financial trouble

see you this afternoon she requires it immediately
and you'll get the money back as soon as possible

mr martin please understand that it's
not as if as i personally like i've

got a good job i pay my bills i've met every
obligation to this bike i need that money now

very well mr martin i see no pressing reason
why we can't allow this it's irregular but

in view of your past credit grading i
think we can put it through thank you

where is she i didn't think it was a good
idea to stop the main road where is she at him

now where is she

adam steve is taking splendid care of her
where it's all there so let's see all right

tell me where she is adam i say help me i'll
k*ll you oh you won't haven't got the stomach

tell me where she is or i'll
blow your stinking head off

i'm not far from here you see it should not be

come on

behind the wheel climb

quite a little hero aren't we

there's only two b*ll*ts

give me the rest of them i think we waltzed
out of that pin it's all there is left

you plan on turning this over to the police

you of course realize what's going to happen if
you do you go to the pen for the rest of your life

what do you think they're gonna do with
you a little man don't worry about me

i plan on living a long long time

how much further it's beyond that bend

away

get out

hold it

what now little hero

well you're going to call them out

anything you sail you walk up
that road about 15 feet and column

and you better make it good be careful
there's only two b*ll*ts it only takes one

go on

steve

steve

what happened to you pull it

look out

i told you they're only two

now i've got your little hero

with him

you've got this sweetheart try it

keep your head down

so

so

so

so

so

so

so

the only thing we can do is
to try and climb out of here

chris

grace

ah

so

hey

i'm terribly sorry that was a nasty tumble
however we did manage to get me out of there

perhaps you can amuse yourself
by sitting in the darkness

and imagining what our next commercial
will be like sorry regulations you know

you